The Journey Home
by GreenWillow
Summary: This is the sequel to Lia's Story, detailing the guys' struggle to deliver Lia and little Rose home safely. Things don't go as planned, but it does make for an Epic Ninja Turtle Road Trip. Vintage, or maybe "antique" fic, set in Mirage universe and presented here, unedited, un-retouched, as it appeared on GreenWillow's TMNT Lair, 1997- 2009. I make no apologies. ;) GW
1. Chapter 1

_The Journey Home_

Future Flash-6 months from the morning after the night before

* * *

White out conditions. Whipping winds and blowing snow. Bitter cold. A lone figure hunkered down on a rooftop, braced against a chimney. Both invisible.

The wind tore at the thick wool blanket he wore as his only defense against the weather. Just now there was some comfort in the numbing cold. It eliminated so much, distilled thought down to its essence.

What was it he had said to his brother? It wasn't that long ago, a couple of months, but the conversation kept returning to haunt him.

_Just wait and our path will be revealed to us…._

Right. And last night, Raph again. Now asking him now what motivated him. And he couldn't answer. At one time he could.

If he fought through all his own mental gymnastics, if he fought his way down to the truth, he knew he was just going through the motions. He knew all this bloodshed, all this wasted life they found themselves caught up in, came down to a last ditch effort to hold themselves together. Some twisted shot at finding, or perhaps, creating, meaning. The hope for some resolution, some tangible outcome, may be what motivated his brothers, but he saw through it, even if they didn't . And he knew, too, that he had to do this once more. One more kata. Their lives depended upon him leading them through it, and again, doing it perfectly.

So you see I have come to doubt all that I once held as true

_I stand alone without beliefs. The only truth I know is…._

What was that song? How did it go? _The only truth I know is…._

What?

The bitter winter, and this unfathomable war that somehow they, _he_, held some responsibility for causing, threatened to devour him. There was more at stake here than defeating some external enemy. Whether or not they survived as a family, as a _concept, _hung in the balance. This was his stand.

Leonardo's last stand.

* * *

_His breath was warm in her hair, his hands moving over her, tracing the curves, the warm, soft places, with such unlikely tenderness. She could feel him moving, surrendering to some part of himself separate from mind, some part that gave him permission to abandon whatever held him in check. She pulled him closer, reaching to meet him as he began to lose himself, let go. And accepting him, drawing him to her, so sweet…._

She awoke with a start. It was still dark. Freezing cold in the small room. That was so real…she could still taste him…still feel him….

She reached for her daughter, curled beside her, and covered her with the quilt. She kissed the tangled fluff of pale blond hair. The child sighed and settled deeper into the nest of blankets.

Her breath hung white clouds in the room. _Better get up and start the fire._ She rolled to her side, on the other side of the bed, drawing her knees up so as not to strain the tender muscles supporting her abdomen. She sat for a moment on the edge of the bed, pulling her shawl around herself and contemplating the round melon of a belly where her lap had once been.

_Alex's last stand… _she thought. _No, his last victory…no, his last…._

Just his last.

She knew it wasn't a very nice way to think about an innocent, unborn child. She rose and tip-toed a little stiffly into the main room of the small cabin. Belladonna lay sleeping, snoring softly on the low cot. It was unusual to be out of bed before her teacher, but lately dreams and discomfort drove her from sleep more and more.

She hefted a large log into the fireplace, checked the damper, and picked up the small hatchet. The coals were still warm; it wouldn't take much effort to ignite the splinters she shaved from the block of wood.

She would probably love this child when he was born, just as much as she did Rose. Rose was Alex's too, after all.

Just…why did she have to keep dreaming…?

A gust of wind sent a rattling flurry of ice against the window, making her jump.

_Better get busy, get going, get doing something…before the sadness catches up with me again, and I simply stop…._


	2. Chapter 2

_The Journey Home_

**Chapter Two**

* * *

I love you, you love me…

We're a happy family….

_No…tell me this isn't happening…._

Small fingers prodded his cheek.

"Who are you? Are you Mike? You s'eepy? You gots owies, too? Mikes gots owies. You gots owies?"

"Goodbye, boys and girls!" the terrible purple television thing cheerfully announced. Leonardo moaned and rolled over on the couch.

"Hey, where's you ears? You gots ears? I gots ears, see? Here, an' here…"

"Rose, Rose, come here, Sweetie. You've got to let him sleep…"

_Angel of mercy…_

"Mommy, yook! Anudder one! An' he gots owies! See? Him gots a owie here, an a owie here.."

"Ow…" said Leonardo.

"Mommy, yook! Yook! Him gots no ears!"

"I'm sure he has ears, Rose, somewhere…"

"Kinda wish I didn't just now," Leonardo mumbled.

Lia scooped her daughter up into her arms. "Leo, why don't you go on back to your bed? We're up now…"

She watched him rise slowly, and painfully make his way back into the sleeping passage where his brothers still slept. She bit her lip. He looks like hell, she thought.

"So, Rosie, how about you and I take a shower?"

" 'Kay…" agreed the two-year old, a little more quickly than she would have two months ago. Lia wondered if the overly cheerful compliance would be a long-term effect of her abduction, and if there would be any other repercussions. Last night's events had brought one sort of resolution, but with that, a whole new set of circumstances to be dealt with. Rose wiggled out of her mother's arms and went barreling toward the kitchen.

Well, thought Lia, she remembers where the bathroom is-

A terrified shriek came from the kitchen and Rose came flying back out, leaping up into Lia's arms.

"Mommy!" she cried, burying her face in her mother's neck. "Da Big Bad Wolf is in dere!"

"Wolf…? Oh. Oh, no. Rose you probably just saw Master Splinter. He's not a wolf. He's just a big rat…"

"No! It was a wolf! Wif teef! Like grrrrr!" Rose barred her own little baby teeth to illustrate.

"Ok, ok. Let's go in and meet him together…" Lia carried Rose into the kitchen, wondering if when the child finally had the opportunity to share her adventures with her friends back home, if anyone would believe they had merely been to Disneyland.

By two p.m. they had gathered at the low table, gulping down what was left of the food; four mutant turtles, one mutant rat, and two humans. Between mouthfuls of corn flakes, Rose gazed at Splinter suspiciously.

"Mommy," she whispered. "Does he bite?"

"Little Rose, " said Splinter solemnly. "I promise I will never bite you."

Rose stared at Splinter open-mouthed for a moment. She swallowed and went back to eating, still stealing an occasional wary glance across the table.

Splinter smiled at Lia's concerned expression. "Do not worry. Best to not force the issue. She will feel better if she can approach me at her own pace." He swirled his tea cup slowly and asked the question no one had yet. "So, what are your plans, now, Lia?"

"Well, I guess I need to figure out how to get back home…."

"Aw, come on," said Mike. He stood leaning against the wall. Changing positions was difficult for him, so he had resigned himself to simply standing. "All the weird stuff is over. Can't you hang out with us and party for a while?"

"Because of me, you guys were nearly killed last night. I think it'd be better if I just got out of here, don't you?" Lia reached and wiped Rose's face with a napkin, avoiding everyone's eyes.

"No," said Mike stubbornly.

"From what I understand," said Splinter thoughtfully. "Had it not been for you, they most certainly would have been killed."

Lia looked down. "Had it not been for me, no one would've been there in the first place…."

"Lia," said Splinter, with gentle firmness. "No one can ever really know what the final outcome of their actions will be. What matters is how one conducts oneself in the moment, and the principles which guide those decisions."

"Yeah, see?" said Mike, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

Lia took in a long breath. She folded the napkin several times into a neat little square.

"As far as I know, the police are still looking for me, plus..."

"_Plus_," said Raphael, the first he had spoken all morning. "What do ya wanna stay in a sewer for with a bunch a mutants, huh?"

"That's not it- it's not you guys, or even the sewer...well, maybe it is the sewer some. But the problem is New York. I can't stay here."

"Come on, Raph, " said Don. "She's got a kid to think about, too. I can certainly understand you wanting to get home."

Leonardo looked up from his uneaten toast. "He knows where you live, doesn't he?"

"And he'll know where you live soon, if I don't leave," said Lia.

"Well, bring it on…" Raphael challenged his corn flakes.

Donatello scratched his chin, shoved his cereal bowl aside, and started to move over toward his keyboard at the far end of the table. He stopped, cocked his head, and then scooted back toward Splinter. He whispered something in the rat's ear and Splinter nodded.

Leonardo looked questioningly at Don. Don made steering wheel movements with his bandaged arms and then jerked a thumb toward the door. Leo smiled.

"Quarters?" Don asked, standing and heading for the pay phone.

"How many?" asked Lia.

"Three, no, four…."

Lia rummaged in her cut-off pockets and tossed four coins his way, one at a time. He caught each one neatly, despite her less than perfect aim.

After an animated conversation with somebody, Don glanced up and flashed a thumbs up at his brothers. Mike was almost bouncing in place.

"Ok, it's all set!" Donatello emerged from the phone booth. "They can pick us up on Thursday, five a.m.."

"OoohHoo!" Michaelangelo crowed. He pulled away from the wall enough to slap a high-three with Raphael who actually looked happy as well.

Leonardo sat back, watching them, smiling.

"Who?" asked Lia.

"April and Casey," said Don. "They can get all of us out of town in Casey's new camper trailer."

"Awesome!" Mike looked like a small child before a birthday party. "Not in the pickup truck bed?"

"Nope. Casey picked up this trailer as a freebee. Someone owed him something or other. You know, Casey business…"

Splinter smiled gently. "You have earned a rest and some time in the sun, my sons."

Lia cleared her throat. "Um, where are you, uh, we, going, exactly?"

"The farm," answered Don. "Back to Casey's farm house."

* * *

Lia was rummaging in the kitchen, a teakettle in one hand. She had found a few more containers of her herbs at the bottom of the suitcase. Though no one complained, she knew they were all really hurting. Mike with his cracked ribs and Don with his torn up arms, especially, could use some willow bark tea. Splinter had been giving them something he had made, but it was some sort of strength builder, not a pain killer. And there was little else in here, either, she observed. The cupboard was looking awfully bare. Splinter was right. Given the opportunity, they were capable of eating a tremendous lot of food-

She felt someone's eyes on her and turned around. Raphael was leaning against the sink.

"Oh!" She tried to recover with a quick smile. "I didn't hear you come in."

"You weren't supposed to."

She looked down. Of any of them, she was sure he was most anxious to see her gone out of their lives. _May as well just ask him_, she thought.

"Are you ok with me going with you guys to the farm?"

"The object is to get _you_ out of town."

"Oh." She scratched at a spot on the teakettle with a fingernail, very aware of Raphael's unblinking gaze.

"That was some outfit you were wearing last night," he finally said.

She looked up quickly, startled. The corner of his mouth had curled up into a half-smile, his head inclined back.

"Wha- which one?"

"The one under the robe. The red dress. It looked really nice on you."

"_That_ thing?" She felt her cheeks coloring. "Oh, jeez…"

"Yeah, that thing. What's the matter with that? You looked real, um, you know, really nice in that." He glanced away for a moment, and then looked back, an edge of frustrated anger just below the surface. "I'm tryin' ta give you a compliment here."

"Oh…I…yes, I know, I just…" Lia was at a loss. "It's just that that dress, I mean, the way Alex used it. The red, you know? That helped create the illusion….and it's so…so…"

"Revealing?" Raphael was grinning again.

"Yeah…"

"Well, I liked it." Raphael pushed away from the sink and walked out through the beaded curtain doorway.

Lia watched him go out, wondering.

* * *

"Sunni, I said I'd come to this thing with you. I didn't say I 'd promise to give my life to it."

"It's not your whole life, 'Cin! Come on! One weekend a month. That's all."

The two young women sat at the back of the auditorium. A banner hung at the front behind a single microphone, reading "Harlem Hunger Project." The roughly improvised church held about fifty people on that Thursday night, and Sunni was encouraged . It was a good turn-out for a usually apathetic neighborhood.

"I dunno, Sunni. All your humanitarian projects just wear me out. I gotta save some energy for myself, ya know."

Sunni sighed and cast a sidelong glance at her cousin. "Seems to me you spend a lot of time workin' on yourself…"

Cindra shot Sunni a wary look. "Don't go criticizin' what I do. It's my time. I don't mess in nobody's affairs and I pay my own way!"

"Ok, ok," said Sunni quickly. "You know I don't mean that. Who stood beside you when your mom and brother came down on you , and told you you should try and find a man, instead of tryin' to be as tough as one, huh?"

Cindra smiled. "Yeah. I remember. For a few minutes there, I got to be one of your causes."

Sunni fell silent for a moment. The minister was stepping up to the microphone, to make one last pitch for volunteers.

"Hey, listen. I gotta tell you what I saw the other night, " Sunni said suddenly. "I was out at the dumpsters-"

"You mean you were actually throwing food away?" Cindra widened her eyes in mock shock.

"No, but five star restaurants do throw out stuff that even soup kitchens can't use!"

"You gonna get yourself fired again …"

"No, I won't. I know how to not get caught this time. They never miss what I smuggle out. Now listen to me! I saw this guy, I think he was like a hunch back or something, all dressed in rags, but I mean not even clothes of any kind. Just like a ol' blanket or something. I started to say somethin' to him. You know, ask if I could get him something to eat and he just took off. Disappeared. You'd have never guessed he could move so fast . Oh, and then, I go over there to find him-"

"You not gonna get fired. You gonna get killed."

"Listen to me! I found his footprint in the mud. This guy was barefoot, and it looked like he only had two toes. Just two big toes! Now can you imagine, someone that disabled, with those kind of deformities, having to scrounge in dumpsters to survive! You see? The system doesn't work! The most needy folks, the homeless, they don't have addresses to get SSI checks. They don't get- " Sunni looked at her cousin who was now gazing thoughtfully off into space. "'Cin, are you even listening to me?"

_"Hm? Yeah. Sunni, next time you see that guy, say 'Hi, from Lucindra.' " _


	3. Chapter 3

_**The Journey Home**_

**Chapter Three**

* * *

"Hey, Sunni! Helloooo! Earth to Sunni!"

"Huh?" Sunni looked up suddenly, snapping back to the present.

"You gonna stir that into submission, kid?"

Sunni grinned up at the big, hairy-faced man before her, and then down at the pot of beans she had been absently stirring.

"Is that how you cook at your real job?" he asked. "Make everything into one homogenous mass?"

"No. They don't actually let me cook. You know that, Stewpot…"

"So you gonna hone your skills at my poor soup kitchen instead, huh?"

"Sorry, I was just thinkin' about someone…"

"It's ok, kid. Here, lemme finish this up. There's someone out there to see you."

"Who?" Sunni couldn't help it; her heart jumped a little.

"That kid, you know, whatcha call 'im?"

"Oh, yeah…" Sunni grabbed a towel and wiping her hands headed out the kitchen into the little dining room. The dining room wasn't open yet, but Sunni could see out the windows that the hungry were already starting to gather. Those who hadn't already spent the night out there, anyway, were gathering.

"Hey, if it isn't New York's own Artful Dodger," she greeted the young boy who sat at one of the tables.

"Yeah, hey…" he answered looking up from beneath a tangle of brown hair. "Ya know everyone's startin' to call me that."

"Well, you're welcome. It suits you."

"Hey, I need a favor."

"Big surprise."

"Come on. I'll make good on it."

"Ok," Sunni sat at the table with him. "Whatcha need, Sean?"

"I got a friend who needs to get out of town."

Sunni frowned. "How come?"

"Someone's tryna kill him."

"Why is that? What 'd he do?"

"Well, that's just it. He doesn't know what he did. He thinks someone may have mistaken him for someone else."

"Yeah, right."

"No, really. I was with him this last night, early this morning, and this gang of Ninja dudes was chasin' him down. They'd 'a' got him, too, except no one knows this part of town like me…"

"Hmm." Sunni frowned. "He doesn't know why they're after him?"

"Nope."

"And you believe that?"

"He was scared shitless. Seems kinda like a, I dunno, normal straight guy…"

"And what's in it for you?' asked Sunni. Dodger Sean always had a bottom line.

Sean rubbed his nose and looked out the window. "He's got family in Massachusetts. They got money."

Sunni nodded. "Ok. I'll see what I can do. Must be someone I know going north. Why doesn't he just call this rich family of his?"

Sean shrugged. "Doesn't have the number? I don't know. I just believe him."

"Ok. I gotta work tommorow, but I'll be back here after eight. Check in and maybe I'll have something for you then."

"Thanks, Sunni. You're a babe."

"Yeah, yeah…You gonna owe me a lotta time, ya know."

"You got it. Tell Stewpot he's got me next week, ok?"

"Cool."

Sunni smiled after Dodger Sean as he skipped out the back door. He would come out ahead even if there was no money in Massachusetts. He ate like a little raccoon whenever he worked the soup kitchen. Stewpot made sure of that.

* * *

He watched her from the couch as she emerged out of the darkness of the sleeping passage. She had gone in there with her daughter about forty minutes ago, and now came out alone. He wondered why she hadn't stayed in there. She had to be as tired as he was, as they all were. Maybe she couldn't sleep either. He was still almost too sore to find any comfortable position, and far too tired to stay awake.

_Head still hurts like a mother-_

She crept around behind the couch, trying to be quiet.

_She thinks I'm asleep_.

He heard her settle onto the over stuffed chair by the couch. She sighed and curled up, using one arm of the chair as a pillow.

He wanted to talk to her. There was no one else up. He fought with himself, and won.

_Just let it be._

Instead he listened as her breathing became light and regular. He listened to her for a long time, his own respiration matching hers.

He must have dozed off.

"No-no!" her cry was muffled with sleep. "Get away-"

Leonardo rolled off the couch and knelt by the chair, taking her hands. "Hey, Lia," he said softly. "Wake up-"

"No- let me-" Her eyes opened, and stared fearfully at him for a moment.

"It's me. Leo. It's ok. You're ok."

"Oh, god…"

"Nightmare?" he asked.

"Yeah…" she closed her eyes. "That seemed so real…like it was right here, in the living room. Jeez…when do they stop?"

"I don't know," he whispered. "I still get them, too."

"You get nightmares?" She raised her head, looking at him in the dark.

"Yeah. Shhh. No one's supposed to know."

"No one's supposed to know?" she repeated.

"I don't want anyone to know," he said, looking down.

"You just told me."

"Yeah, I just told you."

"I won't tell anyone."

"It's ok," he said, letting out a little breath. "It's just false pride, anyway."

"I still won't tell anyone."

He remembered he was still holding her hands in his, and let them go.

They were silent for a moment in the stillness of the underground, with only the far off murmur of water somewhere.

"Leo," she finally said. "You're not mad at me, are you?"

He blinked. She did it again. It seemed sometimes she could come from some place so far from whatever he was thinking, it would take him a minute to regroup.

"No. What makes you think that?"

"Because I stopped you. I wouldn't let you kill Alex."

He shook his head. "If I had really meant to, you wouldn't have been able to stop me."

"Really?"

"Mh hm…"

"Because I think you really did want to. And I think I stopped you. And I think it kept you from doing something you felt needed to do-"

"No. Not exactly…" He frowned a little. "What worries me is that he's still a threat to you-" He looked down for a moment and then back up. "Ok. Yeah. The truth is, you did stop me. But I'm not angry. How could I be? He's the father of your child. It makes sense that you'd still have some feelings for him-"

"No," Lia said quickly. "Not like that. I just…" she sighed. "It just seems like everyone, even people who do terrible things to other people, everyone deserves a chance for redemption. As long as someone's alive, there's a chance. When you're dead, there isn't."

He watched her face, eggshell pale in the darkened room, framed by her bright hair. . "Redemption…?" he echoed.

"Yeah. You know what I mean."

"Yeah."

They were quiet again for a while.

"You know, Leo," she said. "I don't know how I'm ever going to repay you."

Another one. From way out in left field. "Lia," he said quietly. "That is the furthest thing from my mind."

* * *

The two men in business suits sat across from each other, on either side of the long table, behind the closed doors of the conference room. The younger one waited, casually scrutinizing the well-dressed gentleman who had summoned him.

"I appreciate you're coming here on such short notice, ," spoke the older man from behind the darkened lenses of his glasses.

"Your message was intriguing."

The gentleman leaned back a little, withdrew a black case from his breast pocket. "Cigarette?"

"Thank you," Skylord accepted the case and took one. He lit up and inhaled deeply, letting the smoke out slowly. The glint of light on the black case caught his eye as he passed it back.

"Obsidian." The older man watched him, smiling. "You are doubtless wondering what is my real reason for bringing you here."

Skylord nodded, betrayed nothing.

"I represent an organization whose business it is to track certain individuals and agencies which may prove of value to our parent corporation. We have been aware of your activities and, in truth, we have liked what we have seen."

Skylord brought the cigarette to his mouth, hand concealing his expression, sitting very still.

"You are wondering how we became aware of you?"

"The question crossed my mind."

"You are not so invisible as you may think. As I said, we have been observing you for some time."

"What is it you want?"

"There is a circumstance…a potential situation my employers wish to prevent. You have the necessary skills. We believe you have the motivation. And in a sense, you have been doing our work for some time now. We notice that sort of thing."

Skylord frowned.

The man leaned back, a thin smile stretching his face. He lit a cigarette, watching the smoke slowly move upward, dissipating. "Allow me to tell you something of myself, Mr. Skylord. I was once much like you. A man. A striving man, though my dreams were of a perhaps more pragmatic nature than yours: wealth. I was a businessman. A highly successful businessman, I might add. My activities drew the attention of some rather powerful individuals. And I too, was approached, and was offered a situation similar to what I now offer you. I agreed to place myself in the employ of another. And altogether it has worked out quite satisfactorily. I serve my employer well, and in turn, I am rewarded."

"What exactly do you do for him?" asked Skylord.

. "I do what I specialize in. Business dealings. Various duties. You recall the North American Free Trade Agreement? I was instrumental in its passage."

Skylord smiled as well, now, openly allowing his confusion to be seen. "What do you want with me? I'm not a-"

"But you are. Allow me to explain."

* * *

Lia was in the kitchen trying to make a meal for Rose from half a cup of rice and some powdered milk. The powder looked somewhat off-color. Her own stomach was growling and Rose, clinging to her legs, was whiney and irritable. The first one to walk into the kitchen got the brunt of it.

"Look, I've got to go shopping!" she said turning to face Donatello. "This is crazy, there's nothing to eat here and even if you guys are used to long fasts, I've got a baby here who-"

"There's bagels in the freezer."

"There _were_ bagels in the freezer." She looked down and picked up Rose, who reached for Don

"You Mike?" she asked.

"No, I'm Don."

"Where's Mike?"

"Asleep."

"Oh! Wake up time!" Rose wiggled out of Lia's arms and took off .

Lia shrugged. "She likes Mike."

"He's pretty entertaining…if you're two years old…" said Don, absently opening the refrigerator.

"I'm sorry," Lia said automatically. "I don't mean to be so ungrateful, but you guys have got to let me go shopping. Come on, Don. You understand."

"If you think I'm gonna argue with Leo on your behalf, about this, you're nuts," he softened it with a smile, and seeing nothing in the fridge, closed it. "Anyway, I agree with him. Don't worry. We'll go on another food run-"

"Dumpster run."

Don heaved a sigh.

"That's where the petrified bagels came from, huh?"

"Yep."

"And this funny colored milk?"

"Yep."

"Swell."

Lia set the cup down and followed Don toward the beaded curtain. "So, maybe I should talk to Splinter…?"

Don paused at the sink. "So, _how_ bad do you want to piss Leo off?"

"What do you mean?"

He lowered his voice. "We've all tried that; going over his head. Forget it. Come on. You've been here a week. You can see how it works."

Lia shook her head, frowning a little.

Don bowed his head. "Number One Son has sensei's ear. Period."

Lia pushed through the beads with an exasperated gesture. "I'm just trying to feed my child, dammit! And _you_ guys, too, if that's-" She stopped short at the sight of Leo and Raph sitting at the table.

Raphael glanced over at Leonardo for an instant. "That's ok," he said. "I'll handle it. What's today, Tuesday?"

"Yeah," said Don.

"Good. We're in good shape." He looked at Lia, half a grin on his face. "Done deal."

"I'll go with you," said Leonardo.

"I don't need a babysitter, Leo," Raphael's tone turned flat.

"I'm watching your back. It's daylight out there. You mind?"

"I mind."

"I'm watching your back."

Raphael thrummed his fingers on the table for a moment, and suddenly grinned again. "Hey, Leo, you change your mind or somethin?"

"Shuttup, Raph," said Leonardo with an edge of real anger.

Michaelangelo appeared in the doorway of the sleeping area, small child clinging happily to him. He stopped and looked from one to the other.

"Hey, guys. Is it safe to bring a little princess in here, or are we having a…"

"No problem," said Raphael. "I'm goin' on a food run. Leo's comin' along for dessert."

Leonardo stood, pointedly ignoring Raphael's last comment. "I'll get our gear. What time-?" He narrowed his eyes at the VCR. "It's after 9…"

"She'll be there now. She was supposed to be yesterday an' Tuesdays she does lunch shift." Raphael scratched his nose, barely concealing his wicked little smile. He followed Leonardo back into the sleeping area.

Lia blinked after them, confused, and then focused on Mike. "Oh, jeez, Mike you shouldn't be holding her. You're going to hurt yourself. Here-" She reached for her daughter.

"It's ok, really."

Lia lifted Rose from him and lowered her voice. "What was that all about?"

"Raph's girlfriend," Mike whispered.

"Raph's _what_?"

Mike's expression fell somewhere between pixie and devil. "Shhhh. Ya wanna get me killed?"

Lia looked at Donatello, but he had already settled in front of his keyboard and was checking in with his virtual world, and checking out of the real one.

"Raphael has a girlfriend?" Lia whispered.

"Mommy! Wanna eat now!" Rose patted Lia's cheek to get her attention.

"Yes, sweetie, hold on. Mike-?"

"She works at a restaurant." explained Mike. "Somehow got Raph roped in running food to different places to feed the homeless and stuff for her. We get some benefits. He doesn't really talk about her, but I have my suspicions." He grinned mischievously.

Lia turned to head back into the kitchen with Rose. "Well, that's interesting…" She paused and turned back to Mike. "What's she like?"

Mike leaned a little stiffly against the back of the couch. "I don't really know. I haven't met her. Leo has."

Lia shrugged and walked into the kitchen.

"You wanna know if she's hot?" Mike tossed after her, his voice gleeful. " 'Cause I'm guessin' she is-"


	4. Chapter 4

**_The Journey Home_**

**Chapter Four**

* * *

The two shabbily dressed figures moved along through the subway tunnel that was the most direct route to Manhattan's nicer hotels and restaurants.

"You didn't have to come," said the one in the lead.

"There's only one reason I'm here, and I wish you could understand it's not what you think."

"No, Leo, no. I don't think that at all. I know you're not lookin' for a good time. It would hurt you to have a good time, right?"

"You know that's not what I'm talking about. I mean I'm not here to keep an eye on you -"

"That'd be a first."

"Ok, look. We've been over this a dozen times." Leonardo stopped. Raphael paused and turned back to face him. "I am only here because it's daylight. Four eyes are better than two. You know that. It's how we've always done it. And no, I haven't changed my position on this thing you're doing. I know we've benefited from what you've done. I'm not ungrateful. But the I still say it's too much involvement with too many people."

"You mean too much of the kind of involvement you got a problem with."

"I don't have a_ problem_ with it-"

"Yeah, right."

"Every time you're at her place you put yourself at risk for discovery."

Raphael shook his head, turning away.

"You ever think you might be putting her at risk, too?"

"So what? You're worried about her now?" asked Raphael, glancing back.

"I'm worried about both of you. You mostly."

"That's good. That's your job, Leo. You worry."

Leonardo closed his eyes. He didn't want a fight. He just wanted to make him understand. And it was always a fight. "You know, some things, Raph…are just not given to us."

"You're right." Raphael leaned toward him. "Some things we have to _go get_." He started to poke him in the chest and Leonardo caught his hand before it got even close.

Raphael's face hardened.

_Now it could go either way_, thought Leo. Raphael could jerk his hand back and take a swing at him and they could take it to the concrete right now, or they could drop the whole thing and get on with what they had originally intended to do. He hated the fact that what happened next depended on Raphael's next move. And he was quite willing to take it either way.

The tension in Raphael's arm decreased by a degree. Leonardo relaxed his hold, and Raph slowly pulled his hand back.

"You can't stop me, Leo. It's fine if you have no interest. You shoulda stayed that night, but that's your loss. What you do is up to you, and what I do is none of _your_ business."

"You're wrong. It is my business. Because what you do affects all of us-"

Raphael snorted and turned his back. He knew there was no winning this. He hefted up the stupid baggy pants that refused to stay up and stomped off in the direction they were heading.

_Leo, you wanna be a fuckin' eunuch, go ahead. Just don't expect the same from me! Shoulda brought Mike; he'd have appreciated it. But he could never have kept his mouth shut._

Leonardo watched his brother's retreating back, trench coat flapping behind him. He was willing to let it go for now. There would always be time later to argue about this.

* * *

"You understand now when I say you have been working for us for a long time-"

"No-"

"You've been using all the tools."

"No-"

"Who do you suppose provided you with those?"

Skylord dropped his gaze to the gleaming tabletop. "Why does…your employer...want this?"

"You would question-?"

"I need to know."

"Oh. Of course. I remember being curious. I remember needing to know-"

_"Just tell me!"_

"We are all soldiers in the Great War. Your success in this task will aid the War effort. That is really all the information I can provide you with."

"And you chose me because-"

"You want it anyway. No conflicts."

"Has anyone else-"

"There have been others."

"And?"

"They failed. Obviously."

Skylord stared at his hands for a long while.

"Enough equivocating, Alex. Sign the contract."

* * *

Sunni heard the tapping on the water pipes as she was rinsing the mushrooms. She looked up and glanced around the great stainless steel kitchen. The other prep cooks were chopping veggies. The new line cook was concentrating on some sauce, and the dishwasher was out having a cigarette. It was a quiet time and an opportune moment to slip down into the basement. Sunni wiped her hands on her apron, frowned at the food stains, and then pulled it off, snickering to herself at her vanity. She stole a glance at her cinnamon-gold reflection on a shiny silver pot. No make-up, as usual, and her hair looked a fright. It had been nearly a month since seeing him and now she looked like hell.. Oh well, she told herself. He never seems to worry about things like that.

"Gonna go use the head," she announced, and sauntered off, ignored by everyone. In the narrow service hall she turned right instead of left and quietly pulled open the heavy door to the stairway that led to the cellar. On swift eager feet she scurried down the dark stairs.

At the bottom Sunni hit the switch and one bare bulb came on. She couldn't see anyone at first, just the rotting brick and mortar walls of the lowest level of the basement.

"Raphael, is that you?"

"Over here," said Raphael moving out of the shadows.

Sunni rushed to him and wrapped her arms around his neck.. He kissed her and they remained like that, wrapped in each other's arms, for a long while.

Leonardo cleared his throat, and Sunni jumped back suddenly.

"Oh! Who's-?"

Raphael looked both amused and annoyed. "Don't worry. That's just -"

Sunni tightened her grip on Raphael's trench coat sleeves and peered into the far dark corner of the basement. "You got that shy brother of yours along?"

"Hello, Sunni," said Leo, stepping forward into the light.

"Hello, Leonardo." Sunni didn't let go of Raphael. "You're not still mad at us, are you?"

"I was never mad at you, Sunni."

"Look, um..." said Raphael. "We got a favor to ask."

Sunni looked back into Raphael's face. "Ok. You guys need something to eat?"

Leo's stomach tightened. This was the part he hated. It was like begging. No, it _was_ begging. Raph didn't seem to have a problem with it, but then he had whole different set of circumstances surrounding this situation. At least that was what it must be. He couldn't imagine Raphael having less pride than him. He had to remind himself they wouldn't be doing this except that there were two extra mouths to feed.

"We got guests at our place. A mom an' her kid," Raphael explained.

"Where'd you find them?"

"She's uh…hidin' out from her old man," said Raphael, glancing over at Leo for an instant.

"Some kinda domestic violence thing?" asked Sunni.

"You could call it that."

"Does she know about the shelter-?"

"That wouldn't work," said Raphael quickly.

"Ok, got it." Sunni glanced up the stairs. "Hold on a sec. I'll be right back."

They both watched her bouncing back up the stairs. Raphael glanced over at Leo and grinned.

"Jealous?"

"No."

Raphael shook his head. "I don't get you, Leo. I don't know what kind of a line you think you're holding."

"It's not that…Raph, who do you think we are?"

"What, you got an answer to that? 'Cause if you think you've got the answer to that one, I'd sure like you to enlighten me."

Leonardo sighed. "I just know what we're not."

* * *

"That was a pretty incredible meal, Mike," said Lia. "Amazing what you can do with a canned ham and some potatoes." She tugged a little on the hair brush and the two-year-old ducked again.

"Don't!" whined Rose.

"I think it was the marmalade," said Mike, readjusting the child in his lap.

"In her hair?"

"No, on the ham."

"It's in her hair, too."

"Don't!" repeated Rose without much conviction. She was distracted again and pulling on the leather thongs at Mike's wrist.

"I really appreciate you helping me. I thought I was going to have to wrestle her to the ground."

"What's dis ting?" asked Rose.

"Dan kawa," said Mike.

"Oh." Rose tried to get her fingers under the leather. "What's dis for?" she asked.

"Splinter gave it to me." Mike watched her work at it. "I don't think you're gonna get it off."

"How come?" asked Rose.

"Ah…'cause it's special. But look-" Mike picked up the green hacky-sack sitting on the couch, rolled it around passing one hand over the other and then, and then showed Rose his empty hands.

"Oooh," she squealed. "Where dat go?"

"Riiight…here!" The hacky-sack reappeared in his hand as he reached behind Rose's ear.

"You're really good with her, Mike," said Lia.

"Yeah," Mike looked thoughtful. "I guess it's kinda weird but I think I've always thought I wanted one of these some day. Not today , but…"

"You mean a kid?"

Mike shrugged. "Kinda crazy…Hey, look, look!" The single hacky-sack had become two. Rose giggled delightedly.

"Oh! Wait! Lookey heeeerrrreeee…" the third hacky-sack seemed to appear from behind Rose's other ear. She squealed and dropped her face down into Mike's lap, covering her ears perhaps to prevent them from leaking any more hacky-sacks.

"Hey! Where did Rose go?" asked Mike.

"I disdapeared!" Came Rose's muffled response from his leg. Mike gently poked her ribs with a finger and she squirmed and laughed. He glanced up and caught sight of Leonardo, watching from the kitchen doorway. He turned away quickly and went in to the kitchen.

* * *

"Can you tell me the name of the organization I will be working for?"

"Name? You wish a name? Ah…there are so many. Very well. You will be working for the division known as Thanatos."

"Thanatos…" repeated Skylord.

"Come now, Alex. You understand that the signing of the contract, in one sense, is a mere formality."

"And you. By what name shall I call you? You signed the note with a single letter-"

"For the sake of simplicity, let us leave it as that."

"N?"

"N."

* * *

Lia settled on the floor of the dojo and took a deep breath. She gazed around the long room, littered with weights and weapons racks, absently strumming the strings of the guitar. _What was that phrase?_ She turned the key to the D string and then G, and strummed an A minor chord. G. F. _I'm not looking for forever, no, I've known that place too long…_

It had been a long time since she had written anything. Any songs anyway. Now something was stirring inside trying to come out. She had gotten Rose settled down and found everyone else seemed to have turned in for the night. Well, Don was actually slumped over the table in front of the glowing computer monitor. A minor. E. G. _I don't need some hollow promise of a love's fidelity, and I trust your understanding I want only to be free…_

And she couldn't sleep, anyway.

G. F. B-flat. A minor.

I can see you're on your own path,

And I have my road, too,

And there's be no cosmic changes

If I never did touch you.

But to know for just a moment,

All the strength in you I feel,

Would be all that I require,

_Just to know these times are real…_

The door opened. Lia's hands froze on the strings.

"Oh, sorry. I wasn't sure-I thought I heard something." Leonardo was in full gear.

"Did you want to use this room?" she asked.

"No. No, that's ok…"

"I can go. I was just messing around in here-"

"No. That's ok. You go ahead." He quickly closed the door and was gone.

Lia stared at the door for a moment and then dropped her forehead onto the cool, polished wood of the guitar, her heart pounding. _I must be out of my mind…_

* * *

The hot water felt good beating on his carapace. Probably felt too good. _Damn. Damn. Damn. You really are a hypocrite, Leonardo. What right do you have…?_

He leaned his arms against the thin steel wall of the shower stall, dropping his head into the crook of his elbow_. I have the right because it's my responsibility. Because I'm the only one around here who will take the responsibility for our collective safety…And because I know this-this-whatever it is- cannot possibly go anywhere. It cannot._

He turned around, facing into the stream of water, put his hand on the valve and turned it. He gasped breathlessly as the blast of cold water hit him.

* * *

She let him in the back door. He followed her into the living room of her new apartment.

"Nice in here," said Raphael, looking around. The room was decorated in soft beige tones, set off with lavenders and blues. It had an overall calming affect that he could feel as soon as he stepped inside. He breathed deeply and felt soothed.

"You gonna keep that on?" she asked.

Raphael shrugged off his overcoat and shapeless fedora. "Nope. You gonna keep that on?" he asked, his eyes on her light knit sweater.

Sunni's dimples deepened as she censored her own randy little grin. "Doubt it. Have seat, Raphael." She turned toward the kitchen . "You want a beer?"

"Yeah." He settled onto the couch. When she came back out he was very aware of her looking at him, at his arms, his shoulders. It made him happy. Looking at her made him happy. He just felt different with her, that was all there was to it. With Sunni he could be a slightly different Raphael than he had to be with his family.

She popped open both cans and handed him one. "You have any trouble getting away?" she asked.

He shook his head and took a long swallow. It was icy cold.

"Well, I'm glad of that." Sunni leaned back on the couch. Raphael brought his arm around her. "He's still worried, isn't he?"

"Who? Leo?"

"Yeah."

The last thing Raphael wanted to talk about was Leo. "I dunno." He took another gulp and moved his face closer to hers, touching his nose to her cheek, nuzzling her jaw. _God she smells good…_

"I mean, is it me? Does he think I'm a bad influence?"

"No. You're a great influence…" He reached to pull her closer.

"Raph, wait. Come on. Can we talk for a minute?"

"Sure," he said, though in that moment, talking wasn't even remotely what he had in mind. "Sure, we can talk."

"I mean, there's a couple of things I kinda wanted to ask you. Is that ok?"

He nodded and downed the rest of his beer.

"You want another one?"

"Yeah."

"I mean, I was just wonderin', you know," she got up and went back into the kitchen. "What the real deal was. I can understand him bein' angry an' walking out. " She returned, handed him the cold can and sat back down next to him. "But is it me, too? Has he really got something against me?"

That bothered him. "No. No, it hasn't got anything to do with you, personally. I told you. Don't even think like that. Leo's got this impersonal principle thing goin' on. Plus he worries about too much exposure, too many people finding out about us, makin' a fuss, wantin' us to come on 60 Minutes…" .

"Maybe you should. You know, it'd be like letting people know what's really going on on the streets. How folks who are different are forced to live-"

Raphael grinned. "Heh, I don't think Splinter'd go for it."

"Who's Splinter?"

_Damn. _

"Who's Splinter?" Sunni asked again.

"Ah…he's our father."

"He look like you an' Leo?"

"No."

"Hm." Sunni got up again. "See, this is the thing," she called from the kitchen. "This is why I couldn't hang with a major in social services. This is why I dropped out of college. I could see what they were trying to teach me. I was gonna end up a paper pusher, a defender of the system." She came back in, set the rest of the six-pack on the coffee table, and flopped onto the couch. "I was gonna end up part of the problem."

Raphael blinked. "What problem?"

"Perpetuating the system that keeps people disenfranchised."

"Oh, yeah. That problem."

Sunni's eyes narrowed. "Y'know, sometimes I get this feeling like what's going on with you isn't at all what I think it is. Like maybe I've made some assumptions..." Sunni turned to look at him. "I just wonder about the things you haven't told me."

"Sunni, I can't."

She sighed. "So you've said."

Raphael hated it when the conversation reached this point. She was maybe one of three people in his life he didn't feel the need to keep at arm's distance, and probably the only person he hesitated to reveal himself entirely to. "C'mon, you know the important things, anyway," he said and reached for her again.

Sunni eluded his grasp, sitting forward. "I mean like, you told me these were just for -?" She touched the hilt of one sai, stuck in his belt.

"Self defense."

"Hm…" Sunni watched his face for a moment. "I would just love to know what it is you do when you're not with me."

Raphael grinned. "If I told you that I'd have to kill you."

"Part of me thinks you're not kidding."

"Come here…" Raphael caught the back of her head with his hand and brought his mouth over hers. She started to resist his hold. After a moment she decided she didn't want to.

He released her slowly, smiling a little. She took a breath. "You're going to stay tonight, aren't you?"

He shook his head. "Can't. Gotta meet some friends early in the morning. We're going out of state for while."

"Now that I'm back you're goin' away?" Her tone was plaintive

"Won't be long. We just gotta get our houseguest up to Northampton-"

"You're going to-where? Oh! Hey, do you have room for two more?"

Raphael blinked at her mercurial shift. "Who?"

"These two kids. They need to get out of town. Some kind of gang thing. One has family in Massachusetts."

"Who are they?" Raphael rubbed his eyes. He was feeling a little dizzy.

"One of them I know pretty well. Young kid, like ten or so. His name is Dodger Sean-"

"Dodger..? Hrm. I think I know him."

"You probably do. Most of the upper West Side does."

"Hmm..." Raphael didn't think Casey would mind. At the moment he didn't much care if Casey would mind.

"So, do you think you could take them? I'd really appreciate it-"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm sure it'll be alright. I think we owe that kid a favor anyway. Have him meet us at Stewpot's, ok? Sometime after 5:30 in the morning."

"Oh thank you, Raph! You're a life-saver!"

"That's one of the things I do-" Raphael was aware of the slight slowing and thickening in his speech, but he didn't care. Sunni didn't seem to care. He drew her closer one more time. "Ok if we stop talkin' now?"

"Mm hmm," said Sunni.

* * *

"Don-hey Don! Wake up, dude. You don't wanna sleep out here." Michaelangelo shook Don again.

"Mmmph?" said Donatello.

"Hey, come on. I've been tryin' to wake you up for five minutes. You scared me there."

"Ohh, man…" Don sat up. "Yow, that's a good way to get a killer headache..."

"You ok?"

"Yeah...I was working on that code…" Don looked at his computer screen. "Musta fallen asleep. Ow." He rolled his shoulders. "Kinked the hell outta my neck. What time-? jeez, one-thirty?"

"Come on to bed. We gotta meet Casey in less than four hours."

* * *

The pounding at the front door broke through Sunni's awareness first.

"Raph-wait-hold it!" she pushed him back.

"Huh? What?"

"Someone's here!"

Despite the tremendous odds working against it, Raphael's survival instincts leaped to the fore. He was on his feet, sai drawn, toppling the coffee table and the pile of empties, neatly depositing Sunni on the far side of the couch.

"Jeezus!" she growled, pulling her sweater back on. "I think it's just the kids-"

He could make out the voices now. "Hey, Sunni open up! It's me an' Jake!"

Raphael stood speechless for a moment. "Were you expecting them now?"

"No. Not until tomorrow-"

"Then I'm gonna kill them-"

"No, wait, maybe they're in trouble-maybe you should just-"

"Open up, Sunni! It's me, Sean!"

" Hold on!" she called to the door. "Raph, I think maybe you should go-"

"Go?"

"Yeah, I think so-"

"You want me to go-now?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm just worried that- I need to let these kids in. Look, I'll make it up to you-"

Raphael made no pretense about his displeasure. He grabbed his coat, turned and stomped out the back door, slamming it on the way.

"Hey!" called Sunni after him. "You'll still pick them up at Stewpot's, right?"

Raphael made his way to the manhole cover at the end of the block, slid it back, and dropped down into the dark depths. No one saw him, but had he not been quite so angry, and quite so drunk, he might have seen them, slipping through the shadows, making their way to the apartment where the two boys hid.

* * *

The sound of the door sliding open and then something falling over jolted Lia awake. She raised herself partway up on the over stuffed chair, heart thudding, and could make out a dark figure in the shadows of the doorway.

"Raph?" It was Leo's voice from the couch.

There came grunted reply. Raphael paused a moment, stumbled against the payphone, mumbling something under his breath, and turned toward the sleeping passage.

Leonardo watched him. "Baka desu yo."

"Fu' goff, Leo…" mumbled Raphael, tripping over something else on his way to his bed.

"What did you say to him?" Lia whispered in the dark.

"Nothing he hasn't heard before."

* * *

Sean heard it. He had only just begun to doze off. He couldn't even say what it was he heard, but three years surviving on the street had taught him to always sleep with one ear open. Back stoop door. Kitchen. Wait. Front door, too. Not really a sound. Just a sense.

He slipped from the couch, crouching low, and touched his companion's shoulder where he lay snoring on the floor.

Jake jolted awake. Silently Sean put I finger to his lips. The two crept into Sunni's bedroom. She sat up, startled.

"Shh," hissed Sean. "They're at the doors- we have to get out of here."

Sunni stole over to the window, unlatched it as quietly as she could and unlocked the bolt on the louvered bars.

The splintering crash of the back door being smashed down sent Jake leaping to the window sill.

"Come on!" hissed Sean to Sunni.

"Go-!" she yelled back, grabbing her bedside baseball bat. "I'll hold them off-"

"No! Sunni!" cried Sean. "Don't!"

"Come on!" Jake grabbed the smaller boy by the shoulders and propelled him toward the open window, as Sunni stormed into the living room, swinging.

_" Sunni!" _Sean tried to pull free from Jake to follow her. He heard her hoarse shout at the intruders, the sound of something whizzing through the air, and her scream cut short.

"_Come on_-she's toast!" shouted Jake and dragging Sean with him, squeezed out the window to the fire escape, and from there to the blackened streets below.


	5. Chapter 5

_**The Journey Home**_

**Chapter Five**

* * *

Lia sat musing on the edge of the narrow bunk inside the little travel trailer as it bounced lightly along, stopping and starting in the early morning traffic. She gazed around the darkened 8' by 13' space they were crowded into. The two small windows were hung with heavy curtains. She and Splinter shared the larger forward bunk, Raphael and Mike, busy with his Gameboy, the rear. Donatello had claimed the upper forward bunk above her, and so had the only window seat. Leonardo sat cross-legged on the floor, reading. A small kitchen unit lined one side, the door and a second tiny window, the other. She sighed and hugged Rose who had fallen back to sleep in her arms, having awakened only long enough to meet April and Casey, the turtles' human family.

Interesting couple, thought Lia. Willowy, dark-haired April, had greeted them with hugs, and fussed and worried over each of the turtles' injuries. Lia had liked her immediately, she had a steady sort of calm about her that countered what seemed to be her partner's personality. Casey Jones, who had scarcely said two words to her as they loaded everyone's gear into the trunk and back seat of his car, seemed high-strung and impatient. Mostly, thought Lia, he was just enormous, wearing most of a T-shirt, with a body rivaling Schwarzenegger's bursting through at the seams.

He and Raphael had greeted one another with sort of a ritual sparring session. Raphael's announcement that they were supposed to pick up two more passengers as a favor to a friend, was met with mixed reactions. The loudest was Casey, grumbling that now he'd have to fight the traffic all the way across town and back before getting on the expressway.

With the exception of Raph, the turtles seemed in good spirits. Lia could tell, with perhaps a bit sadness, that April and Casey had come to take their family home, and that the turtles were glad of it. Ofcourse, there was no accounting for Raphael, but she was getting used to that. She stole a glance at Leonardo and found herself wishing he hadn't buried his nose in a book the instant they had climbed into the trailer. The little bit of early morning light slipping in through the curtains gleamed on the surface of his carapace, lit the curve of his cheek bone. He looked up at her.

She smiled and shrugged, suddenly embarrassed at being caught. "What're you reading?" she asked, because she knew she had to say something.

"Franz Kafka."

"Oh."

He smiled, just a little, waiting. Lia was uncomfortably aware of Splinter sitting next to her, doubtless noticing her discomfort, and of the transfixing light blue of Leo's eyes.

"It's, uh…" Leo looked at the book in his hand. "Kinda surreal. I like his stuff."

Lia nodded, desperately wishing she had something intelligent to say. Anything to say.

"You've never read him?" Leo asked.

"No…"

The trailer suddenly lurching to a halt mercifully interrupted things.

"Whoa!" yelped Donatello catching himself before he fell from his perch.

"Damn!" grunted Raphael, apparently shaken awake.

"Ow!" cried Mike involuntarily, bracing himself.

Leonardo chuckled. "Guess Casey hasn't got the hang of pulling trailers yet."

"Better than a U-haul, though, huh, Leo?" asked Raphael, settling himself back on the bunk.

Leonardo didn't answer.

* * *

In a long block of crumbling tenements and trash strewn sidewalks, Casey pulled up in front of a recently renovated small business. One person huddled in the doorway, another slept under the barred windows, but fresh paint covered the old graffiti, and a nicely handcrafted wooden sign reading "Stewpot's Kitchen" hung over the door.

"You want me to go knock-?" asked April.

Casey shook his head and laid on the horn. In a moment two figures came running from around the far side of the building, one tall, carrying a duffel bag, the other short, with nothing but his ragged clothes.

April reached back to unlock the back door and the two boys piled in. They both looked frightened.

"Hi. Thanks," said the younger one.

"You bet," said Casey more agreeably than he felt.

"Hi, I'm April," she smiled, turning around to see the two young refugees.

"Dodger Sean McCulley," said the younger one, reaching to shake her hand.

"Um, Jake," said the other. "Uh, Jake Elwood."

"Jake _Elwood_?" asked Casey glancing into the rear view mirror. "Ok, kid. Whatever. I'm Casey Jones. Pleased ta meetcha."

Jake Elwood glanced furtively out the window. It seemed to April that these two were a complete mismatch. Jake looked to be around 18 or 19, with delicate features that spoke of both Caucasian and Asian ancestry. He was neatly dressed in a polo shirt and slacks, black hair neatly trimmed. Sean McCulley, on the other hand, was dirty and unkempt. If one had only his elvish face and clothing to judge by, he could easily have just stepped off the streets of Belfast.

Casey dropped the gearshift into first and pulled away from the curb, perhaps a little more abruptly than was necessary.

"Okayyy-Casey Jones, underground railroad engineer, pullin' outta the station!"

"Don't hex us…" muttered April.

* * *

The ringing of the phone woke him up. He sat up, throwing the satin sheets aside, and answered. .

"Alex, good morning. Just checking in with you."

"You need to check up on me? Don't worry. It is done."

"I knew that. The one you tagged-"

"Done."

"Hit it again tonight. Harder."

"As you wish." Humility was difficult, but worth the price if he were truly paid what he had been promised.

"You are learning."

"I understand the meaning of a contract."

* * *

Lia had laid Rose carefully across the back of the bunk. Splinter was sitting so still and quiet, eyes closed, she guessed he had dozed off as well. She stood carefully, bracing against the motion of the moving trailer, skirting to one side of Leonardo, still absorbed in Kafka. He looked up, and started to move to let her pass by, when the trailer suddenly lurched. Lia lost her balance and fell into the rear bunk, mostly on top of Raphael.

"Ouch-!" said Raph.

"Oh, I'm sorry-" Lia struggled to get off of him.

"That's what you get, Raph," grinned Don. "Not offering a lady a seat-"

"No, it's ok-" Lia protested

Don leaned over "Do you want a hand-? ow-"

"I'm sorry, Don-"

"No, it wasn't you- damn headache-"

"See?" said Raph. "_You're _bein' punished for over-usin' that brain of yours-"

Mike hooted. "Raph, maybe you're bein' punished for over-usin' your -"

Raph jabbed him in the arm with an elbow.

"Ow!"

"Oh! S'cuse me-" said Lia, certain she had done something again.

"Lia, where exactly are you trying to go-?" asked Leo.

"Well, I was trying to sit-"

Casey shifted and put his foot to the gas. She fell back on top of Raphael again.

"Oh, jeez, Raph, I'm really sorry…"

"That's ok. I'm beginning to like it."

* * *

"We spoke of the tools you were given,"

"Yes."

"You have developed well the use of Fear."

"It is very effective."

"Good. It is where we will place most of our focus."

"Why?"

"Because, Alex, Fear is our greatest ally in this. Fear is what has kept them contained thus far, and fear is what will destroy them."

"I tried that-"

"Yes, but now you will have our guidance."

"Their resistance to that is great-"

"And so is their vulnerability. No, Alex, it is not their fear of physical hardship, or pain. It is their fear of exposure."

"Exposure…"

"You know that. It is part of what you tapped into-"

"Yes…."

"And they are quite right. Premature exposure will destroy them."

"What else?" he asked.

"You understand what Fear is, don't you Alex?"

"I thought I did…"

"This is a great secret. But you must know it: Everything, which is not Love, is Fear."

Skylord sat silent.

"You see, Alex. You crossed over a long time ago."

* * *

Lia had been praying that somehow Casey would know enough to stop for a potty break sometime before they made Massachusetts. He didn't, but he did understand the need to eat.

"Fast food joint, just off the port beam," announced Donatello from his lookout perch. "Looks like we're pulling into the parking lot."

"Far out," said Mike, making a small effort to sit up straighter. "Hope he gets enough fries."

"I'll go make sure-" Lia offered, lifting Rose.

Leo looked up. "I think maybe you should stay in here."

Lia smiled sweetly and shook her head. "No. I mean I _need_ to go in there. Doesn't any one else-?"

"Hey, I got needs," said Mike with his best wide-eyed look.

"I'll ask if they can pull over somewhere more isolated and we can take care of you guys, too!"

"Hey, Lia," Raphael called as she slipped out. "You can take care of me right now-ow!"

"Hey-ow!" she heard Mike yelp as she walked away.

"It's humor,'" she explained to Rose. "I think I'm starting to get it."

She met the two boys they had picked up as April was coming back out of the restaurant laden down with bags of burgers and fries.

Sean looked shaken, but was able to articulate a conventional introduction. Jake stared at Lia with what looked like stark terror. He mumbled something and fled back to the car.

"That's weird," said Lia to April as they carried the meals back to the trailer.

"Do you know him?" asked April.

"Never seen him before in my life. I don't usually have that kind of affect on guys, though."

April laughed. "Well, who knows. Maybe he thought you were someone he knew."

Lia shrugged. "Someone really scary, I guess."

The boys were let out of the car just outside of Northampton, with Casey giving a long diatribe on good places to hide out, scrounge a meal, or sleep without getting rousted.

They drove on through town and out into the country another five miles, and pulled up before a salt box farm house with a large front porch and adjacent barn. Before Casey had shut off the engine there were wild cries of "Wahoo!" and "Hooray!" as the long-imprisoned turtles burst from the trailer.

Lia looked around the area, holding Rose's hand. The overall effect was one of friendly neglect, along with evidence of some recent projects. There was a little lawn enclosed in a white picket fence, maple trees, roses blooming, some lilacs long past their bloom, and budding hollyhocks.

The barn and house were in need of paint, but a windmill visible behind the two looked brand new and freshly painted. There was a hole in the side of the barn that looked like something enormous had chewed it's way out, but the barn door was shiny new aluminum.

The interior of the house reflected the same odd balance between neglect, creativity, and total destruction. April's touches seemed to be everywhere. Carefully collected odds and ends filled shelves in the living room. Victorian prints were hung on the walls, though their placement seemed often designed to hide some scar, rather than to add ambience. A large wood stove dominated the living room. The couch looked as though it had been retrieved from the dump and working on it's third incarnation, but was scattered with delicate lacey pillows. Embedded in the wall behind the television set were several Chinese stars. Beyond the living room Lia could see the dining room, though instead of a table, there was a weight machine, and heaps of weights and bars. Bruce Lee posters fought with Maxfield Parrish for dominance there.

"I love old junk," April said apologetically to Lia.

"I think this is beautiful stuff."

"Thanks." April looked around, a bemused smile on her face. "I guess you could call this decorating style eclectic." She shrugged. "Anyway, upstairs there's one empty room. Well, it's not empty, it's full of stuff. But there's a bed, and we can get Casey and the guys to clear a path enough, you can use that for now."

"Thanks, April I really appreciate this-"

"Hey, I know what it's like to be scared and running away. Believe me." April watched Lia for a moment, as Rose explored the living room.

"Ohhh! Mommy-Yook! A kitty-"

"That's Klunk," said April as the large gray cat cautiously sniffed the two-year old's out-stretched hand.

"He likes me!" beamed Rose.

"Lia, is there anything you need?" asked April.

"Well, I guess I'm going to need to get a bus schedule."

"Gonna take the Dog, huh?"

Lia nodded.

"I'll pick one up in town."

* * *

He felt his approach before he heard him. He crouched low, watching the glassy surface of the pond reflecting the amber light of the setting sun. Silvery birch leaves stirred in the little stand of trees behind him. The world was so quiet he could hear the blood singing in his ears. And Michaelangelo's footfalls 100 yards away.

"Hey…"

"Hey, yourself."

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Mike sat beside him.

Leo nodded.

"You didn't want to be alone, did you?"

"No," Leo smiled back. "It's ok."

They sat quietly in the last rays of the warm sun. A whippoorwill sang somewhere far away, and the frogs began their evening serenade again.

"So," said Mike. "You gonna say something to her before she leaves?"

Leo turned to Mike, and started to ask what he meant, and then saw the futility in pretense.

"No."

Mike shook his head. "Jeez, Leo."

"What's the point? There's no point."

"Well, I'd say something."

"What would you say, Mike?"

"I dunno. But I'd say something."

The smoky, sweet scent of barbecue drifted their way. Something made a soft plop into the water on the other side of the pond and they watched as the ripples moved toward them.

"How'd you know, Mike?"

"You're kidding, right?"

Leo picked up a twig, traced small circular patterns in the cool mud at his feet. "Does anyone else-?"

"Doubt it. You're awfully good Leo. Very invisible. I think I only know 'cause I really pay attention to this stuff."

Leo looked up quickly. "Splinter -?"

"No. He hasn't said anything to me, anyway. Don't worry. I won't say a word to anyone." Mike pushed himself back up, taking Leo's offered hand for support. "But you know what? I think it sucks."

Leo looked down at the overlapping circles in the mud.

Mike sighed, laid a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, you hungry?"

"I can sure smell it…."

"Well, come on, let's go eat."

* * *

A breeze moved the maple leaves and stirred the sweet scent of roses into the evening air. Cicadas sang from every dark corner of the yard. Somewhere on the porch a June bug whirred. It stopped when Raphael flopped onto the porch swing, and April settled onto the steps. The light from the porch fell on the little patch of lawn where Leonardo sat with Donatello, chewing a blade of grass. Nearby Mike lay on his back.

"Man, I am stuffed," he groaned. "Awesome barbecue, Casemeister."

"Yes, I am a god," said Casey from the porch.

"Took enough steak to fill you up," said Don.

"Hmm," Mike rubbed his belly. "I think less than usual, actually."

"How's your ribs?" asked Leo.

"Ok….wait, is there any more roasted corn…?"

April laughed. "Mike, you are a bottomless pit, aren't you?"

Mike tipped his head back so he could see her. "Hey, waste not, want not!"

"Don, " said April. "Did you ever get yourself all reconnected up there?"

"Well, it'll boot, but it's still not reading the modem."

"Maybe I can take a look at it tomorrow if you'd like."

"That'd be cool, April. I think I almost had it, but Splinter made me come down and eat…" he shot a grin over to where the rat sat silently in the shadows beneath a maple.

"And it is well that I should do that, Donatello," said Splinter. "I fear sometimes you become too narrow in your focus and lose sight of the other aspects of life."

"I know, sensei. Thank you." Don rubbed one shoulder and cracked his neck to one side. "I sure didn't do myself any favors last night."

"Still hurting?" asked Mike.

Don shrugged. "It's ok."

Lia had been sitting on the steps, trying to encourage Rose to eat a little more. Rose was much more interested in following Klunk. "Do you want a neck rub, Don?" she asked.

Donatello stopped moving. A little smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Uh, yeah….sure."

"I don't have any Tiger Balm," said Lia, rummaging in her pack. "But I've got this goldenseal and myrrh salve…."

"Ok…."

Lia crossed the lawn sat behind Don and laid her hands on his shoulders. "You'll tell me if this hurts, ok?"

"Yeah…ok…" Donatello was too stunned to say much else. He sat very still as she rubbed some salve into her hands and began slowly working through the muscles in his shoulders and neck.

"Ohhh…. ahhhhhh…" he finally sighed.

"That ok?" she asked.

"Mmmmm."

Lia was aware of the close scrutiny she as receiving, even from the one who was feigning complete indifference on the porch swing. Leonardo watched with undisguised envy, his face sunk in one palm, elbows on his knees. "Lia," he said. "Me next, ok?"

"Back off, Leo," growled Don between his teeth.

"Shh," said Lia. "Don't tense up."

Mike had turned a little to one side and now raised his hands in supplication. "Oh, pleeeeeeeze? Me, ok? Please? Me?"

"Better have them draw lots, Lia," Splinter suggested softly from somewhere in the shadows.

April laughed. "Yeah, a major free-for-all would certainly undo all the good you're doing!"

"I shall do that," grinned Lia, working as far down Don's trapezes has his carapace would allow, which wasn't much. "Hm. There's not a lot of room down here, Don. Your shell makes you kinda hard to get to."

"I'd take it off if I could, right now…" said Don dreamily.

"Oh, don't do that, sounds painful!"

"Don't worry. That'll never happen."

* * *

"What the hell…?" The Sorcerer cast the black powder again into the smoking crucible. The darkness dissipated again, the smoke turning a pale gray, and then to white. He repeated the procedure, slowly, carefully. One more scraping of dried blood. Lighting the charcoal one more time. Repeating the Words.

Again the same. Black smoke to white.

"Damnation! Something is blocking this-"

* * *

Lia sat back and rubbed her aching hands.

"Thank you," said Don, not moving at all. He sighed blissfully. "Headache's gone…everything's gone…."

"Ah. Soft prevails over hard…." said Lia impishly.

"LaoTzu," said Splinter approvingly.

"Ahem?" Leo tapped his plastron.

"Ok, I'll get to you, Leo. I promise. You too, Mike. But first I want to see if I can get Rose down. It's getting late." Lia stood and scooped up the small child who had given up chasing Klunk and now sat looking a little stupefied with fatigue on the grass next to Mike and Leo. "C'mon sweetie. It's nite-nite time."

"I'm not s'eepy," protested a sleepy- sounding Rose as Lia carried her into the house.

When she was out of ear-shot Casey asked, "So, you guys wanna tell me what the scoop is with this chick? Like, where did she come from-?"

"Wait," said April, with a teasing grin. "You want me to scurry off to the kitchen so you guys can really talk?"

"Not at all," said Leonardo. "There's no big secret."

**Artist Bess' rendition of this last scene here! =0D**

Back to Journey Home Table of Contents

Chapter Six


	6. Chapter 6

**_The Journey Home_**

**Chapter Six**

* * *

Lia had to lie down with Rose on the narrow bed to get her to settle down. She lay in the dark, as Rose snuggled close and saw thought about him, watching her. The look on his face. She hadn't intended that to happen, really, had she? Her motive really had been to help Don. But it had worked out rather well. He didn't let on much, ever, but she _had _seen that look, hadn't she? Lia fell asleep with a little smile on her face.

She woke up, realized she was still dressed, and sat up, trying to orient herself in the darkness. Kicking off her shoes, she found her suitcase on a broken chair and by the light coming in from the hall, looked for a T-shirt to sleep in. She was unbuttoning her dress when the door shut, plunging the room into total blackness.

She gasped and spun around.

"Hey." It was Raphael.

"Oh, jeez, Raph-you scared me!"

"Sorry." He didn't sound sorry.

"Open the door," she whispered.

"Why?"

"Because I can't see in the dark."

He took her hand and pressed the jar of salve into it. The door opened a crack, letting in barely enough light for her to see him.

"Raph, it's so late…" Lia's voice shook.

He didn't move.

She told herself it was silly to feel so scared. _Mike and Leo are right across the hall. _It didn't help. He stood silent and unmoving in front of her for an uncomfortably long time.

"You're afraid of me, aren't you?" he finally asked, his voice very low.

"Yes." It annoyed her, that after all the time she had spent with him and his brothers in the last three weeks, after all the conversations she had had with him, it was still true. And there was no point in lying, because she knew he could see it.

"I don't want you to be afraid of me."

"Are you sure you don't?" she asked.

"I'm not going to hurt you." He remained standing between her and the door. "I don't get it. Are you afraid of Leo?" he asked at last.

Lia took a deep breath. "No."

"So, what's the difference?"

"Between you and Leo?"

"No, I know the difference between me an' Leo. I want to know why you're afraid of _me._"

Lia stepped back and sat on the edge of the bed. She remembered her dress and hastily buttoned her front back up. "Well, for one thing, I was pretty sure all last week that you really didn't like me. And that…that really bothered me, 'cause there I was asking for your help…and I felt so…well, anyway, it seemed like you'd have rather had me out of your home, and your lives as soon as possible. And I …I really wanted all of you to like me." She looked down at the jar in her hands. "But I guess the real thing is that when you get angry, it just scares me. I guess that's my problem, but it's just the way I am. I can't change that."

Raphael was quiet for a while. "Ok," he said. "I can't change the way I am, either. But it was never that I didn't like you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Really."

"Ok..." Lia lifted the jar of salve. "Do you actually want me to do this now?"

"Are you going to?"

"Well, I could, I guess. Sit over here. Raph…um…we _are_ friends, right?"

"Look, as much as I hate losing my reputation for generally disliking _everybody_, I will tell you: I like you, ok? We're friends, ok?"

"Ok."

He straddled a chair, facing her. She took a deep breath and surveyed his face. The white stripe of a scar ran from above one eye ridge down into the rise of his cheek bone. Another fine scar cut down his opposite cheek, defining the deep crease there. His gray eyes followed her.  
"How's your head?" she asked.

"Is that a trick question?"

She laughed a little. "No, I just want to know if you hurt anywhere."

"I hurt everywhere. Don't worry about it."

"Is that a trick answer?"

His answer was his enigmatic little half-smile.

"Ok, Raphael. You know what? I think you want to keep me guessing and off-balance. I think it's how you hide."

"You would know."

"About hiding?" she asked.

"Yep."

"And you would know about off-balancing people, huh?"

"I guess. I dunno."

She moved behind him and put her hands lightly on the back of his neck. He took in a breath. She began gently massaging the cords leading up to the base of his skull, and up into his jaw. It felt like strung cable.

_Oh, relax, Raphael, _she thought, and knowing full well she was as tense as he was. _Only I'm feeling uptight from nervousness. That's all. He just makes me nervous. _

"Is that ok?" she asked.

"Uhm. Yeah. It's nice."

He began to let go a little. He sighed and she could feel some of the tension go out of his neck and shoulders. He finally closed his eyes, letting his head rest on his arms over the back of the chair. Lia finally exhaled.

"Raph, can I ask you something?"

"Hm?"

"What's she like?"

"Huh? Who?"

"The girl. You know. The one that sent the food over."

He didn't say anything for a moment. "Sunni."

"That's her name?"

"Mhm."

"So, what's she like?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"I don't know. I'm curious. It's someone else that you guys have let know about you-I don't know. I'm nosy. I guess it's none of my business."

Raphael let out a long breath. "She's a good person. She cares about other people."

"You admire that…?"

"Yeah. In her. Yeah, I do."

"You like her a lot, don't you?"

Raphael sat up. Lia jumped back. He turned around. "Why do girls ask questions like that?"

Lia almost laughed. "I don't know….'cause it seems important…"

Raphael shook his head. He looked down, and scratched his cheek, looking perplexed. "Yeah," he said looking back up at Lia's face. "Ok. I do. I like her a lot. That make you happy now?"

Lia nodded, smiling a little.

"Good." He turned back around, and laid his head in his arms again.

Lia decided not to ask him any more questions. Probably didn't contribute to the therapeutic benefits of the neck and shoulder rub.

Raphael's breathing gradually became rhythmic and low. When he began softly snoring, Lia stopped and watched him in the dim light. His carapace rose and fell with his breath, his head cradled in his arms.

"Raph?" she whispered. He didn't move. She ran her fingertips over the rough outer ridge of his shell. "C'mon Raph, you don't want to sleep here." She moved her hand gently down his arm, and shook it a little. He still didn't move. Lia sat back for a moment, just watching him sleep.

_God, they are all really beautiful_…._this isn't the result of some freak accident. It can't be. Something, Someone, put a lot of thought into this…._

"Raphael…" Lia shook him again, gently, fearing he'd fall out of the chair. She couldn't believe he was still asleep. She frowned, and then gave up and let him be, and slipped back into the bed with Rose. She left her clothes on.

In the morning he was gone.

* * *

The morning practice had gone well. Naturally, Mike hadn't been up to much, and Don had to restrict his movements and stop early so as not to stress the stitches in his arms. Still, Leo and Raph had sparred empty-handed and it was a good work out. Raphael's lighter mood was certainly a contributing factor. The sweet freshness of the June morning, in the first rays of sunlight helped. Even Splinter seemed positively affected by the fresh air. He was less critical, and far more forgiving than he had been at any time in the previous two months they had been in the city.

Leonardo walked with him back to the farmhouse, as Raph hurried ahead to catch up with Mike. "Master, are we going to be staying here for sometime?" he asked.

"I believe we may, Leonardo," said the old rat. He glanced over at this son. He looked as though he had something more to say. Leo waited. "We should remove those stitches soon. If we delay they will be more difficult."

"Yes, Master." He almost asked him what the other thing was he wanted to say, and then thought perhaps, just now, he didn't want to know. They walked in silence as the songs of birds and the morning buzz of insects filled the air.

The sound of the car starting up got their attention. Casey had unhitched the trailer and April was turning around in the drive.

"I'm going into town," she called to them from the Chevy's window. "There's a stack of pancakes warming in the oven. I'm going for groceries and a Greyhound schedule, anything special I should get?"

Splinter waved to her and shook his head. "We are fine, April, thank you."

Mike and Lia stood on the porch, Rose impatiently tugging on the turtle's hand.

"I promised her I'd show her the ducks," Mike explained as Leo and Splinter climbed the steps. "There's still a few pancakes left…"

"Better be," muttered Leo, good naturedly.

"There's plenty," Lia reassured him with a smile. "And a pot of green tea steeping," she added as Splinter went in, nodding in acknowledgement.

Leo stepped into the living room, heard the rattle of plates, smelled warm syrup and bacon, felt his stomach growl, and paused. He peeked out the front window, and watched Lia cross the yard toward the barn, the morning sunlight dazzling off her hair. Mike and Rose were heading off in the other direction toward the pond. He stepped back outside and quietly followed Lia.

_She could get hurt in here, _he told himself_. There's all that broken stuff._

She was standing in the central open area, gazing around the empty barn. The small corner Don had converted into an workshop still had one wall caved in where Raph had thrown Leo last winter, and the hole Mike pummeled in the outside wall still gaped open to the outside. It smelled of musty hay, and old, warm wood. He watched her look up at the loft, and then walk toward the ladder. She put her hands on the rungs, stopped, and seemed to wait, looking up. He approached her silently.

"Can't you be a little quieter, Leo?" she asked without turning.

He stopped a few feet behind her. "You didn't hear me…"

She faced him, grinning. "Joke, Leo."

"Oh…"

" I guess I'll announce my jokes in advance from now on?"

"Are you saying I'm too serious?" he asked with a little frown.

"No-"

"Everyone else does…" He looked up at the ladder. "Where were you going?"

Lia shrugged. "Nowhere. I was just snoopin'." She smiled again, gazed around. "It's a nice old barn. Too bad no one lives here."

"Yeah. I guess this used to be a real working farm. Casey's grandmother had to sell off most of the land, and the animals, when his grandfather died."

"Hm. Well, I was going to check out the view from up there," Lia looked up at the loft. "You want to join me?"

"Ok," said Leo, while part of him told him loudly _'no!' _He followed her up the ladder.

There wasn't much hay left in the loft, most of it dusty and thin, but it still smelled nice. They sat on the edge of the wooden planks, letting their legs dangle over the edge into open space. Two swallows dove out of the corners above then and swooped out the open door below.

"Oh. I guess someone lives here," said Lia, watching them fly off.

Leo cleared his throat. "How did you know that was me?"

Lia shrugged again. "I just knew." She looked at him out of the corner of her eye, her face half hidden behind a waterfall of red hair. "I wanted to talk to you anyway." She looked quickly down at the barn floor far below them.

"About what?" he asked.

"I, uh…well, I woke up feeling really sad this morning. It was such a beautiful morning, and here I was, feeling all depressed. And I realized, it's because I have to go, and I know I'm just going to really miss you." She added quickly, " All of you."

"Oh." Leo plucked up a straw. "You know, I really am worried about you going back there. He found you there once. That's where he'll look again. It's not safe for you to be there."

"Belladonna is there alone. I have to go back."

"Yeah, I know, but-"

"If it was you, you'd would be worried about Splinter, wouldn't you?"

Leo stopped and looked over at her. She was gazing down at the floor of the barn below. "I guess you feel about her like I feel about Splinter."

She nodded. "I think maybe they are a lot alike. The other night, talking to Splinter, it felt like I was talking to Belladonna." Lia looked at him again. "He doesn't just give you all the answers, does he?"

"Heh, are you kidding? Splinter mostly just asks questions."

"And makes you come up with the answers…"

"Best kind of teacher there is." A swallow returned, swooping in through the barn door, saw them, and circled around and flew back out again. Her eyes followed the bird's flight, then returned to his. She smiled at him. Leonardo sighed, and let himself relax inside. He realized he was feeling happy. He reclined back on his elbows, chewing the straw.

Lia looked down at her nails again, studying them for a moment and then asked, "Leo, you…you really believe you will die…?"

"With Honor. Yes."

"You mean in battle?"

He frowned. "Well, not necessarily in a fight. But, with Honor. In serving what I hold to be highest That's what that means: with Honor."

"Oh. You know, it kinda sounds different, now. It seems safer, I guess, in this barn, in the country, than back in the city." Lia tore at a fingernail, and then looked over at him. "So, what do you hold highest?"

"My family. Splinter's teachings. Tradition. Doing what I know is right."

" I wish I was that clear. Sometimes, it's like I don't know what is right. Sometimes I just don't feel like I'm very good…or I don't know…a very good person."

"You don't feel like-? Oh, man…" Leo sat up. "I think you're...Lia, I know it took a lot of courage to do what you did the other night, coming back for us. You didn't have to do that, you could have run. You are a lot braver than you think you are."

"I couldn't have left you there…but I guess…this is sort of funny. I just don't feel very strong…or brave."

"Well, I think you are."

She looked into his face. "You know, it's really important to me what you think, Leo."

He smiled quietly. "Good," he said. _It's important to me what you think, too, _he thought, though he couldn't quite bring himself to say it.

"Anyway, that was the main thing. I just wanted you to know. That I am…I'm really going to miss you. And, um…I don't know…" her voice trailed off, waiting for him to respond.

The war inside him threatened to explode. The door was open. And she looked so sad. It would be so easy. He held on, fought down everything he was feeling.

_Not given to us._ His own words pounded in his head.

_This is only making things harder. Lia, please don't start crying. _He could feel his resolve waver.

They heard the car, pulling into the drive, and approaching at a good clip.

"I guess we should get down there. Sounds like April is back," said Leo. He stretched and stood.

"Guess so," said Lia, blinking rapidly. She stood, and followed Leonardo back down the ladder and out of the barn. They could see April rushing into the house as they crossed the yard.

_What did you expect, Lia?_ she asked herself. _You have no business even thinking like that. What did you think he was going to say? Oh, gods, I'm an idiot._

April was in the kitchen, sounding distraught, talking to Casey and Splinter. Don and Raph came in from the back porch as Leo and Lia entered through the dining room.

"I'll tell you," she was saying, her voice tremulous. "This has me totally spooked. Those kids were really frightened, especially Jake. I mean, what if they were to come here? What if-"

"What's going on?" asked Leo.

"It would appear the Foot are in Amherst," said Splinter.

"Amherst? What are they-? That's practically in our backyard." Leonardo looked alarmed. Casey leaned against the refrigerator, scowling, his arms crossed.

"I ran into Jake and Sean in town," explained April. "Jake's mother lives in Amherst and three Foot had been to her house, looking for Jake. He was totally freaked out. They didn't hurt her, but he didn't dare go home. He had just called her-oh, Splinter, what if-"

"Courage, April," said Splinter. "They will not take us by surprise."

"My house…" April gazed around the kitchen in dismay.

"What exactly did they say?" asked Leo.

"It was Sean, the younger one, who said he was sure it was the Foot. He seemed to know who they were. Jake didn't say that much. Sean said the girl who had arranged for their ride had been killed by them the night before-"

"What-?" Raphael froze. "What did he say-?"

"The girl who-what? Did you-? I guess you knew her, then?" April looked at Raphael and then Leonardo, and then back at Raphael. "They-they broke into her place, the kids barely got out-"

"Oh, man…" breathed Leo.

Raphael was standing very still.

"Raph-" Don laid a hand on his shoulder.

Raphael brushed him off and bolted out the door.

"Oh, god…." Lia covered her mouth with her hand.

"What-?" asked April.

"What is it?" asked Casey.

"He didn't tell you?" asked Leo.

"Tell me what?"

"The girl-Sunni-"

Don ducked out after Raphael, and returned moments later. "He's gone, guys."

* * *

Raphael found the first two behind a tavern, in a parking lot shared with a video arcade. They were easy. Under cover of darkness he had the advantage, despite their black dogis.

The last one was sprinting across a grassy commons when Raphael's sai went through his body, thrown from some 20 yards. It didn't kill him right away, but the next one did.

Raphael caught a truck going south just outside Bridgeport. He climbed the handrails to the roof of the trailer and rode through the dark of the night the three hour trip back to New York.

* * *

Splinter opened his eyes. He heard the crunch of gravel under the tires, the low hum of the engines, a car door, and then the crackle of the police radio in the yard. He rose quickly and met Mike in the darkened hall. Lights flooded in through the living room windows below them.

"Upstairs," Splinter whispered and Mike silently sprinted up to Don's attic aerie. From below, the knock on the door, and then voices, could be heard.

"Mr. Jones, we have a warrant to search the premises for an individual we believe you may be harboring as a refugee from the law…."

"Why Sheriff Bowman, I can't imagine what would make you think-hey-hey! Wait a minute-!" The next string of words out of Casey's mouth were not nearly so polite.

"What are you _doing-?!"_ cried April, as the clumping of many pairs of boots fell on the hardwood floor.

Splinter peered downstairs, pressed against the staircase banister, ears cocked forward. He backed away, slowly, silently, slipping into Lia's dark room. She was already awake, sitting up, a look of terror in her eyes.

"Come, child," said Splinter softly. "We will make our escape from the roof. But we must hurry." Lia gathered her sleeping daughter up in her arms and hurried after Splinter upstairs to Donatello's room. The police officers' heavy footsteps fell on the bottom stairs as Donatello closed the door and as quietly as possible set a heavy trunk against it.

"We can buy maybe two minutes with this. Come on-"

* * *

The hollow distant gurgle of water echoed through the murky tunnels. There was a place where the ground dropped away 30 feet. An alcove carved into the rock wall formed an overlook above the deep pit. Water swirled darkly below. He knew this section of the sewers well. He knew he'd find him here.

From an adjacent tunnel he could make out his brother's shadow, sunk back into the hollow recess. He approached him from the right, climbing the narrow catwalk quietly, slowly, but with no attempt to conceal himself.

"Leo, leave me alone. Get the hell away from me."

Leonardo stopped and sank down on his haunches, three feet from him, separated by the wall. He settled back on his heels, and gazed down into the water below.

They sat silently for a long time. Finally Leo spoke.

"Did you find out anything?"

Raphael said nothing.

"I'm sorry…"

_"Just-!"_ Raphael blurted. "Just-leave me, Leo. Just go."

Leonardo sighed and didn't move. Time passed. The water murmured all around. The dank coolness settled on his skin like a familiar coat.

"A yellow police crime ribbon. That's what I found."

"Raph, I-"

_"Don't !"_

Leo could hear him breathing rapidly, a little shaky. He still couldn't see his face, but he knew he was crying and trying very hard to be silent about it. Leo folded his legs under him, and settled cross-legged on the cold concrete, the wall between them. He knew he would be there for a long time.

* * *

Mike slid the heavy window sash up and motioned to Lia to hand Rose to him. She did, and peered out at the steeply sloping roofline below.

"There's a grape vine growing over the back porch," whispered Don. "If you can slide down to that-"

"I can't-" said Lia.

"Yes, you can, and you will," Splinter hissed, taking her elbow. "I will help you."

Lia obediently swung her legs out the window, and barefooted, bracing against the shingles with one hand, clutching Splinter's with the other, half-slid along the roof line.

"You must jump from here," whispered Splinter.

"Jump?"

"To the vines-it's the only way down."

"Oh no…."

"Lia, the police will be at the window any moment. Face the house, and jump!"

Unthinking, and with only Splinter's command to guide her, Lia jumped out backwards and down to the immense tangle of grape vines that spread like a net over the back porch and halfway up the side of the house. She grabbed handfulls of leaves and vines and managed to cling to them.

"Run for the woods!" called Splinter, his voice sounding like the wind in the leaves.

"Rose-?" she answered.

"We'll bring her-" called Don softly. "Run!"

She slid through the leaves and vines, the green smell of broken foliage filling her nose, the torn branches cutting her hands. She hit the ground as the kitchen light came on and took off through the grassy yard and out into the woods. The back door screen slammed behind her and she didn't look back.

She ran for what seemed like a mile, through brush and trees, over stones and sticks until her feet went numb. She finally collapsed under a thicket. A narrow moon skimmed that sky, shedding scant light and she sat panting, picking thorns and stickers from her bleeding feet.

She didn't hear them until they were nearly on top of her. Splinter ducked low and slipped under the brush into Lia's little shelter. Donatello and Michaelangelo followed, holding Rose. She whimpered unhappily as Lia took her. They sat silently for a long time as Master and students listened. The voices of men and the police radio drifted their way on the evening breezes. After some time, there was quiet.

Donatello left at one point, and returned some time later with a quilt. "The police left. It looks like they gave up, but they ransacked the whole house. April is awfully upset. We're gonna meet Casey before dawn on the dirt road that intersects the field behind these woods." He looked at Splinter. "I don't know what they found. Or what they took. Casey thinks maybe it's a good time for an extended road trip. I don't know if that's a good idea, but we may not have an option."

Splinter nodded thoughtfully. "The police may return in the morning. I am concerned that Leonardo and Raphael may return at an inopportune moment. Or that they will miss us. We shall have to see what the morning brings."

Lia sat holding Rose, rocking slowly. "This is all my fault," she whispered. "They were looking for me-"

"Hey…shhh," Mike drew the quilt around them. "Ya know, I'd have brought marshmallows if I knew we were gonna be camping out."

"I wanna marshmallow…" said Rose miserably.

* * *

"That was well executed, Alex," N smiled thinly, gazing at Skylord from behind his tinted lenses.

"It was a phone call," said Alex a bit sharply. He lifted the brandy snifter to his lips.

"It accomplished what was required. Are you displeased with your role, Alex?"

Skylord shook his head. "No. It just seemed such a simple thing."

"It was. And highly effective. They are on the run and scattered. Very vulnerable."

"Will the police find evidence of them -?"

"Yes, undoubtedly. And that information will be forwarded through the proper channels. We have operants in several key agencies."

"You know I was not able to strike last night."

"Yes."

"Something blocked me." Skylord frowned, trying to read N's expression. It bothered him he had yet to see the man's eyes.

"You have your suspicions, do you not?" asked N.

"She's still so young…."

"The damage you did slowed her development. But you could not halt the inevitable."

"That was never my intention."

N nodded, studying him with invisible eyes. "I do enjoy working with you, Alex. I want you to know that. It is a pleasure. And pleasure is so important, is it not?"

Alex looked up quickly. N smiled again, a tantalizing, seductive smile. "Hit it again at your earliest opportunity. Each time you succeed, you widen the pathway we will need. And that brings us closer to our goal. And your reward.

Skylord sighed, swirled the brandy. "So, what is our time frame now?"

"I should say it has moved up quite a bit. Within the week. Possibly sooner. As I said, they are highly vulnerable now."

"Like quail hunting…" said Alex.

"Hm?"

"We've flushed our quarry."

"Precisely."


	7. Chapter 7

_The Journey Home_

**Chapter Seven**

* * *

"That's her place?"

Raphael grunted a response.

"Lights are on…" Leonardo looked at him. "I think we're doing the right thing."

"Yeah. I guess."

"I mean, she is your friend. And Sunni was her cousin-"

"Yeah, alright, Leo. Ok." Raphael gestured impatiently, looked quickly up and down the alley way and leaped up, grabbing the fire escape ladder. He climbed up, followed by Leonardo.

"Someone's on the couch," whispered Leo as they peered in the small window. The room was dimly lit with a small lamp and the bluish glow of the television. The person on the couch appeared to be asleep, stretched out, motionless.

"Don't wanna break this..." Raphael's fingertips explored the aluminum window frame, a shiny new addition to the 80 year old tenement building. Suddenly the form on the couch leaped up, flailing at the comforter and fumbling around in his clothes. He shouted something garbled and spun around, nearly falling over and waving a .45 caliber handgun at the window. The turtles stared, stunned for an instant, before dropping below the window ledge as the gun went off, shattering the glass with a terrific crash. As they beat a hasty retreat back down the fire escape they could hear more shouting from inside the apartment, and from a few neighboring apartments as well.

"Holy shit-!" Raphael growled as he and Leonardo pressed back into the sheltering darkness between two dumpsters and several mangled trash cans in the alleyway. "Freakin' perfect…"

"Malcom! What's the matter with you? Look at my window! Brother, you trippin' hard! No, there's no one—" Lucindra's face appeared framed by in the shattered window. "Hello?"

"Lucindra—" Raphael called from the darkness.

"Who's that? Oh, no... Raphael? I don't believe—Oh, I don't believe you! What the hell are _you_ doing here?

"I came to see if—I wanted to know if—"

"You go to _hell _Raphael, you –you! Oh! Sonovabitch!" Something large came the crashing out the window and smashing on the ground two feet from where they hid. "You come anywhere near my family and I'll kick your ass permanent! I can't believe you'd come around-! I oughta come down there right now and kick your ass!" Something else flew out the window and hit the wall opposite the dumpster.

"Cindra, listen, I didn't know –I—"

"Oh shuttup you –you didn't know! You lyin'—_damn_ you! You led them to her door-! You got her _killed!_" Her voice broke. "My poor little cousin-oh_ God!"_ A terrible sobbing wail arose from the window above them.

Raphael felt a wrench in his gut and the sensation of something cold and damp wrapping around him. "Cindra, I didn't –"

"You _shuttup!"_ roared the woman from the window. "I _know_ what you were doin' there, you bastard! I know who killed her and I know _why_ and so do _you, _and you just _left _her there! Whad'you think? She could fight them off? She's like not me, you stupid-" Something else flew out the window. A small appliance, by the sound of it.

"She called me that night, Raphael! She called me worried about YOU! She said you'd left her place upset, wanted to know if I'd seen you! She was worried about YOU, you self-centered, dumbass, womanisin' sonuva— Malcom! Gimme that thing!"

Leonardo clamped an arm around the seemingly numb Raphael as the shot rang out and ricocheted off the fires escape and the distant siren wailing grew louder. Dogs barked and more people shouted as Leo dragged his brother off to the closest storm drain.

* * *

They rode in silence in the back of the empty delivery truck, which smelled torturously of fresh bread. Neither of them had eaten since the morning before. Leonardo had given up any attempts at coaxing his brother into talking. Since fleeing Lucindra's apartment, Raphael had retreated back to his stony silence. Leo was grateful he had been able to persuade him to come back with him at all. And in truth, he knew, if it were him, he wouldn't have much to say, either.

The long silence, however, gave Leonardo an opportunity to question his own decisions with regards to his own situation. From the hard, logical, common-sense perspective, he knew he had done the right thing up in the barn loft. To allow anything else to have happened would only lead, ultimately, to trouble. The most obvious trouble being someone_, her_, inevitably getting hurt, if not in one way, some other. What had happened to Sunni could certainly happen again, to Lia, or any humans who befriended them.. That April O'Neil had chosen to remain with them, as their friend, no, as part of their _family_, was a decision she had made fully aware of the consequences. And even at that, they had questioned her, more than once.

And then there was that other kind of "getting hurt". What if he allowed something to happen, what if he let her know what he was feeling, as if he could even find some way to express it, which he doubted anyway, then what? Then she goes back to California, to her life, and he goes back to Massachusetts, to his life, and again, the obvious, _nothing can ever come of this._

_This is a dead end. She needs to find some kind-hearted human man to be with her, to—_

He exhaled sharply, cutting off the feelings that came with that thought.

Leonardo, you are already in over your head…

_This is so dishonest, this is so hypocritical. And to do anything else is to invite disaster…as if I even knew how to do anything else…_

They crossed state line on Hwy 91, the truck pulling over at an inspection station briefly. The stop brought them to their feet, and both crouched, ready to leap out of the van, if the doors were opened. They remained shut, and when the vehicle was again under way, they settled back down again, sitting against opposite walls, facing one another. Raphael studied the wooden floor of the van, poking listlessly at the splintering floor with a sai.

"You think it's because of me they killed her, too, don't you?" Raphael finally broke the silence.

Leo looked up. "No. No, that's not what I was thinking."

Raphael looked away. "Oh, bullshit, Leo. I can practically hear you from here."

"Raph, it wasn't-"

"Well, you're probably right You're always fuckin' right." Raphael closed his eyes. "Must be a great feelin'. Always being right."

"Raph, I'm not the enemy."

Raphael took a long shuddering breath. Eyes downcast, stabbing at the floor, harder, then harder, and then with forceful cry, smashed a hole in the wooden flooring. He dropped his head, gripping the sai with both hands, trying hard not to shake.

Leonardo watched him, feeling himself turn inside out, and knowing there wasn't anything he could do.

_If Mike was here, he could do more. Hold him. Say the right thing. But I know he won't take it from me._

The house was empty, and the Chevy and travel trailer were gone. Only a short time after dawn, and there was no one to be seen anywhere, except for Klunk, purling hopefully and rubbing against their legs when they checked the kitchen. It certainly seemed as though everyone had left in a hurry. Casey and April's bureau drawers had been thrown open, and clothes scattered across the beds. There were unwashed dishes in the sink, something April would normally never have left undone. They fed Klunk and continued to explore the house.

Upstairs the bedrooms were in disorder, even Leo's looked messier than he knew he had left it, though nothing appeared to be missing. Except Lia's luggage. Raphael stood in the doorframe as Leo checked the room.

"She's gone, huh?" he asked.

"Guess so."

"Too bad we missed her." Raph turned away.

"Yeah," said Leo, ignoring the ache pressing down on his chest like a a cold weight.

They went downstairs, Leonardo half considering getting something to eat, and then realizing he was no longer hungry.

"I guess all we can do is wait for everyone to get back," he said with more assuredness than he felt. Raphael had wandered to the living room window, and was gazing out. Something was very wrong. He followed Raphael's gaze to the dirt driveway. Something…..

Leonardo walked out the front door to the drive and stared at the ground. Tire tracks. Numerous tire tracks going every which way. The Chevy and the trailer were easy to identify, but there were others.

"Someone's been here-" he said.

"Doesn't change anything," said Raphael at his side.

"What?"

"We still have to wait, right?"

"Right."

Leo looked over at his brother. Raphael was staring, unseeing, down at the tire prints in the dust. "You didn't kill her, Raph."

Raphael shook his head. He didn't believe that, but when Leo put an arm around his shoulder, he let him hold him. Somehow, though, it only made it hurt worse.

"I wanna go home," Rose whimpered in Lia's arms.

"We're going, sweetie. We're going home."

"How come we s'eep outside?" asked Rose looking around at the dawn-gray forest.

"Oh, for fun…ow!" said Lia, stumbling on a sharp stone. Don caught her arm and steadied her.

"Dis is not fun!" said Rose vehemently.

"You want me to carry you?" Don asked Lia for the third time. "I know your feet must hurt-"

"Oh, no. No, Don, I'm fine, really-"

"Come on, it's not like you weigh anything-" Don suddenly gasped and grabbed the sides of his head. "Aghhh!" he cried.

"What-?!"

He took a step and staggered to his knees, holding his head.

"Don!" cried Mike dropping to the ground beside him. "What is it-?"

Alarmed, Splinter knelt at his other side, a soft hand on his shell. "What is wrong?" he asked.

Don tried to answer and his voice rose into an anguished cry as he rocked back and forth. He doubled over, gasping, and shaking for several long minutes as the others watched helplessly. At last it seemed to pass. He raised his head, still breathing hard and swallowed. "I don't know," he said shakily. "I don't know what that was. Hurt like hell, though."

Lia gently laid a hand on his head. "Don…"

"Mh. Better…"

Lia met Splinter's liquid brown eyes as she rested her hand on Donatello. "I don't know…" she answered his silent question.

The sun had breached the horizon by the time they emerged from the thinning forest and cut across a long-fallow field. They reached the dirt road and climbed over a split rail fence. A long cockstail of dust was visible half a mile away, which they knew had to be Casey, careening along at breakneck speed, the travel trailer flying a long behind.

He thundered up to them in a cloud of dust. Splinter, Mike and Don seemed to vanish from her side, melting back into the underbrush, and then Lia saw why. In the back seat two boys' faces peered out at her. Casey jumped out of the car, and helped Lia and Rose into the trailer.

"We gotta book," was all Casey offered by way of explanation.

Donatello emerged cautiously and approached Casey, hidden from view of the back seat by the trailer. "Hey, Casey, what's up with this? What are those kids doing in the car?"

"Talk to April," Casey said curtly glancing up and down the empty road. "Later. Right now, get in. Go on, get in-"

"Hold it! Where are we going? Where are you taking them?"

"Don, look-ok, ok" Casey attempted to slow himself down. He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his dark hair. "We went into town for supplies. I told you, April's scared. She doesn't want to be anywhere near the house if the Foot show up looking for you, or anyone. She doesn't want to lose everything again. The plan is to get out of town for a while, til things cool down. Like we talked about last night. Then we ran into Sean and Jake, and they had seen them. They're convinced the Foot are after Jake-"

"So we're leaving town and bringing the target with us?"

"Like I said, talk to April. Me, I'd rather stay an' fight. But April's callin' the shots, and she wasn't gonna leave 'em. And while you're at it, Donnie," Casey leaned close to him his eyes darkening. "You told me over the phone this chick had some -oh, what did you say, a 'little legal hassle', right? It'd woulda been damn straight of you to tell us she was wanted for murder!"

"Is that what the cops said?" blinked Donatello.

"No, Don, I'm makin' this up. Whaddaya think? Hey, April's thrilled, lemme tell ya. Ofcourse, as far as she's concerned, this is my fault, 'cause you guys all walk on water-"

"Casey…" Splinter was at his elbow, laying a hand on his arm. " An accusation does not necessarily make something true. What was explained to you the other night was the truth. I have a concern however. Leonardo and Raphael will be returning at some time to the house, and we will not be there…"

"We're gonna call the house. We're heading North, and we'll call whenever we stop."

Splinter nodded.

"Oh, one more thing," said Casey. "Those kids, Sean and Jake, or whatever his real name is, they know all about you guys."

"We knew the Sean kid," said Mike, joining them. "He probably told Jake."

Splinter shook his head, silently disapproving.

"He helped us out once-" Mike started to explain.

"Hey, come on. We gotta roll-" said Casey.

He rushed into the small office, hitting the light switch forcefully after missing it twice. He jerked the seat up to the desk and with shaking hands turned on the computer.

"Come on….come on…" he muttered, watching the screen go through the program checks. "Ah…ok…" He began punching keys. Seven passwords to get into his own desktop. "Ok… " he watched the screen tell him his access was granted. "The code …." he mumbled, opened again the crumbled slip of paper in his hand and read it. "Key is…damned DOD codes….." His fingers flew over the keyboard. "Come on...come on, baby…Ah!" He watched as the encoded file slowly unfolded itself and the image rolled down the screen. "Ok, ok, that's it…."

He reached for desk phone and dialed. Heard the line picked up on the other end. "It's what we wanted," he said. "Yes. It's the same. The same as in New York. I'm looking at the image right now. It's the same thing….yes. More than ."


	8. Chapter 8

_The Journey Home_

**Chapter Eight**

* * *

"Hello?"

"Hello-hey? Leo?"

"Yeah—"

"Raph there?"

"Yeah, Casey. We're both here. Where is everyone?"

"Uh...we're on our way to Canada."

"Canada?"

"Yeah. Not my idea." Casey cleared his throat. "Look, here's the deal. The cops were there the night before. They seem to think your little friend Lia is some kinda serial killer—"

"Ah, that's not exactly accurate—"

"Yeah, yeah. I got that. Anyway, the plan is to get her outta the country, at least for a while—"

"They'll still extradite her if they catch up—"

"I know, Leo, I know. I'm doin' the best I can here. You guys handed me one helluva situation-—"

"Casey, I'm sorry. I-"

"Forget it, Leo. Not that big a deal. Dealing with April is the hard part."

"So, she is still with you…?"

"Who?"

"Lia."

"Yeah. Of course. We can't very well put her on a bus. There's another thing—the Foot—"

"I found the bodies. Raph took 'em out."

"Not all of 'em."

"There's more? Where?"

"Still in the next town, but those two kids say they saw 'em. April's scared."

"If they come here, we'll handle it-"

"Get out of the house, Leo. April doesn't want a battle to happen there. We're heading for Raftenport. Meet us there. We'll wait for you."

"Where?"

"On the border, where Highway 38 crosses over a levee. There's a park area on the Canadian side —get a map." Casey took a breath. "Hey, Leo, how's Raph?"

Leonardo paused. "He'll be ok."

* * *

"Ok," said Casey returning to the small outdoor table. "I got 'em. They're both at the house."

April set down her pen. She had been trying to get the group focused on working out a budget based on what funds they had. It had become apparent the budget would be mostly based upon the funds she and Lia had. Lia opened her mouth as Casey sat down, but April beat her to it. "How's Raphael?" she asked

Casey spread his hands. "Leo says he's ok. I dunno. I didn't talk to him." He shook his head. "Ya know, he never told me anything about any girl. Guess he didn't have a chance to. It all came down while they were back in the city this last time…but it's kinda, I dunno… I'm just trying to imagine…I mean, I can understand _him._ But, I wonder what she was like…." Casey ran his hand through his hair, looking at the trailer parked at the far end of the burger joint's lot.

"She was a very cool lady," said Sean, softly, not looking up from his meal.

Casey took a deep breath, shook his head, and shrugged. _Nothing to be done about it now. _He turned to the five people at the table and grinned. "Well, kids, everyone ready for a nice long vacation?"

April looked sidelong at Casey. "You sound awfully optimistic about all this—"

Casey shrugged. "I think we should make the best of it. We were talking about a vacation this summer anyway."

April gestured at the piece of paper before her. "Well, the good news is, it looks like we may have enough money to make a road trip after all, if we tighten out belts a little and not indulge in fast food like this anymore. We _can_ cook in the trailer you know. Worst thing is, I'm gonna lose that job..." April stirred the ice in her soda with the straw.

"You hate that job."

She shrugged, the trace of an acquiescing smile on her mouth.

"So," said Sean, his voice somewhat muffled by the large quantity of french fries in his mouth. "Are the rest of the guys gonna meet up with us?"

"That's the plan." Casey regarded the two boys. Jake had been silent, keeping his eyes averted, downcast throughout most of the meal. Sean, however appeared to be coming out of whatever apprehensive state he had felt earlier and was increasingly talkative. _Cocky,_ thought Casey. And probably looking for an angle, a scam. He made a mental note to keep an eye on the kid.

Lia had been trying to cut her burger in half with a plastic fork. She was picking the broken tines out of the bun when Sean produced a pocket knife, and handed it to her. She smiled wanly, and wiped the blade vigorously with a paper napkin before using it.

"Don't cut it!" complained Rose.

"I have to, so you can hold it…"

"How far do you guys want to go with us? I have no problem with hauling you two along, but where do you want to end up?" Casey directed the question at Jake. Jake looked up, then down, then over at Sean, who answered.

"As far as you can take us, if that's ok." Sean leaned forward a little. " 'Cause, like, I know that the Foot aren't gonna mess with us, as long as we're with –" he nodded in the direction of the trailer. "They got a reputation."

"How many people actually know about them?" asked April with a frown.

"Not many. I just happen to know some who do."

"I bet they're not happy about that," said Lia. "They really impressed upon me how important it was I never tell anyone about them."

"It's not like it's anybody that anyone would believe anyway," said Sean. "It's people who live on the street, or in the subway tunnels who know. And they're all pretty much crazy anyway. I didn't believe the guy who first told me."

"And you boys really think the Foot Clan has some interest in Jake here, huh?" asked Casey.

"They were at his mother's house, asking for him," said Sean, a bit of a challenge in his young voice. "I'm guessin' they weren't selling no frickin'magazines…"

"And Jake," Casey tried again directly addressing the older boy. "You don't have any idea why they'd wanna talk to you?"

Jake swallowed. "No, sir."

Lia nibbled a french fry and wondered what Casey had meant by his comments about Sunni. She looked up and caught Jake staring at her again. He looked away quickly. There was something about him…

"Do I know you?" asked Lia.

Jake swallowed and shook his head. "No. You don't know me."

"Hm. You look kinda familiar—"

"No—no—I'm not familiar—I mean-" he stammered. "No. You don't know me."

Lia frowned, then caught Rose's milk before it tipped over. She didn't believe him. And he was increasingly making her uncomfortable. She found herself relieved when the meal was over and she could retreat back into the trailer with the mutants.

Inside, the remains of the meal were scattered over the small countertop, though Mike appeared to be making an effort to clean things up. He looked up and grinned as Lia and Rose slipped back into the travel trailer.

"I help!" squeaked Rose, hurrying over to Mike and reaching up to gather wrappers and empty soda cups.

"We leaving?" asked Donatello from the forward bunk where he sat with Splinter. He had unwrapped Don's arms and was carefully checking the stitches.

"Yeah. Did you all get enough to eat?" she asked.

Splinter nodded, and looked up, questioning.

"Casey got a hold of Leo and Raph. They are at the house and will meet us at the park." She kept her voice calm and neutral. She didn't want to let on how completely, totally, happy she was about that. She realized she was having a hard time, now that she was away from the humans, suppressing a silly smile.

"I am glad to hear that," said Splinter. "If they must travel, I much prefer they are together." He tilted his head at Lia momentarily, and she looked down quickly.

"Rose come here, sweetie," Lia sat on the floor at Splinter's feet and held open her arm s.

The trailer lurched into motion, and Rose who stood her ground next to Mike .

"Whoa!" Rose giggled as he held her against the movement. "Dat's fun!"

The trailer steadied out as Casey pulled back onto the main road and once Don's arms were re-bandaged he settled back on the bunk with a book. Splinter sat quietly next to him, his wooden stick in his hands, the other end braced on the floor of the trailer. Mike had looked as though he wanted to climb to the top bunk, and then thought better of it. He sat on the lower rear bunk.

"You wead?" Rose asked Don, sidling up to him with the sweetly flirtatious smile only a two-year old can command.

"Yeah, uh, I read…" answered Don.

"She means will you read to her," Lia explained.

"Oh. Heh. I dunno. This may be a little over your head," Don smiled and tousled Rose's curls.

"It's not on my _head_!" Rose giggled, reaching up to be sure.

Lia read the cover of Stephen Hawking's _A Brief History of Time. _"It's a little over my head, too, I bet."

"Nah. Doubt it. This is written for the layperson."

Hanging onto the cabinet for stability, Rose wandered back over to Mike. "You wead?" she repeated.

"Oh, yeah, sure," he grinned and picking up Leo's book, and pretended to read from it a long and elaborate story about a little girl named Rose and her adventures in Wonderland.

Lia listened for a moment, and then turned back to Donatello. "You think I'd understand it?" she asked.

"Oh, yeah. It's not terribly technical, he defines every thing he's talking about, the premises he uses are broken down in simple language."

Lia watched him for a moment. "Why science?" she asked.

"Why do I like science?" Don half-smiled and tilted his head, looking toward the tiny window. "I think because it makes what seems unknowable understood. You can take some mystery, something that looks so complicated, and break it down into understandable components. Make it make sense. Make it tangible. It shows us that anything can be known. Everything has an explanation."

"You like having the answers?'

"I like finding the answers."

"And then-?" she grinned, anticipating his answer.

"Ask another question."

"Everything has an answer, then?"

"It must, mustn't it? There's a reason, a purpose, for the existence of everything. Every chemical reaction, the path of every electron, everything is part of a larger whole. It all fits into the puzzle somewhere. We just can't always see it. So we investigate, and find it. If it exists, we can find out what it is."

Lia smiled and rolled her eyes to one side, happy to play devil's advocate. "That's pretty black and white… You don't think there are things in the universe which are simply unknowable? The gray areas?"

"Either something exists, or it doesn't." A little light was coming up in Don's eyes, as well. Someone was actually willing to debate him on this and he was having fun. "And if it exists, we can learn what it is. Sure, some things exist so briefly, like certain man-made isotopes, it looks like magic, or something. But it's not. They are there long enough to be measured. I bet that if one were to ask the right questions, that even those tricks your ex-old man does, could be explained by scientific inquiry. Everything can be explained."

Splinter had tilted his head in Don's direction, watching him talk now with luminous dark eyes. "In the eye of Yang there is what, my son?" he asked.

Don looked at his teacher. "Yin…"

"And the eye of Yin?"

"Yang."

"So desu ne…"Splinter smiled a small, feral toothed smile at him.

Don took a breath. "You mean, there are no absolutes, right?" he asked him.

"What do you think?" asked Splinter.

Don looked down. "I think you just confused me…"

"Yoku dekimashita," said Splinter. "Now you may begin to learn. The full cup can receive no water."

Lia watched the interchange, wondering what had just happened. That Splinter had lapsed into his native tongue didn't help her understanding, but he seemed, for some reason, to have just poked a small hole in Donatello's balloon.

"So, no absolutes…." said Don tentatively.

"What you have just said sounds much to me like an absolute," Splinter looked down at the center of the trailer floor.

Lia couldn't stand watching Don get the rug pulled from under him again. "So, is that like a paradox?" she broke in. "As soon as you say there are no absolutes, you are using an absolute to describe something that cannot-ah- exist because it's an absolute?"

Splinter turned his nose toward her and stroked his chin. "What do _you _see in the eye of Yang, child?"

"Um…ah..." Lia stammered, realizing she had invited herself into something she knew next to nothing about. "It's the whole that's important, right? The two opposites, or Yang and Yin, which together create the whole. It only seems like a paradox, but its' really—" One hand fluttered as she groped for the word.

"Harmony," supplied Splinter. "Though you have answered quite a different question from what I asked." He smiled gently at her.

Lia blinked. "I did?"

"Sensei," said Don, following the new direction. "If the balance of Yang and Yin create a harmonious whole, why is there such disharmony between, like, men and women?"

Lia had a momentary concern that that question may have been born from Don's observation of how she and Alexander Skylord conducted their relationship. Then she remembered how much TV they watched.

"Donatello, you know that male and female are but one aspect of Yang and Yin," said Splinter. "What you are witnessing in human relationships is the vast gulf between the Tao, and what mankind's attempts to control and corrupt nature, have wrought."

"You could say what we see is an imbalance resulting from Yang's domination of Yin in human society, " suggested Lia, and was immediately sorry she had. This was a core component of Belladonna's teaching, but it seemed bound to conflict with the philosophy of warriors whose tradition had its roots in feudal Japan.

Don apparently didn't hear anything like that. His brow furrowed. "Are we talking about just humans, or all of nature?"

"Nature is always perfect, Donatello," said Splinter. "Even in her imperfection. She always returns to harmony and balance."

Donatello did not look comforted by that.

"Now we are closer to the heart of the matter, are we not, Donatello?" asked Splinter, narrowing his eyes and leaning toward him. "What is it that troubles you, my son?"

Don took a deep breath and swallowed. "I just don't know where I fit in," he said softly. "I'm not human. And I don't feel part of nature, not really."

Splinter waited, saying nothing. Lia could not wait. "It seems like most modern, no, what's the word? _Industrialized_ peoples feel that separation from nature," she began.

"Knowledge separates us –or separates humans anyway,' said Don. "Scientific reasoning, the ability to see the world objectively. Understanding cause and effect-"

"It's sort of like the Tree of Knowledge. When you eat of the fruit, you lose your innocence," said Lia.

"Yeah, well. It's a foolish sentiment to mourn the loss of ignorance," said Don with a slight tone of annoyance. "And I am still neither human, nor 'of nature'. I'm certainly no innocent."

Lia looked at him, thinking he really was, but didn't want to say it.

"Isn't this one of the first things we talked about?" Don asked her. "You asked me what I am. I don't remember what I said. The only honest answer would have been 'I don't know'."

"You said 'mutant'."

"Yeah, great. What's that? An adjective…" Don was growing morose. "And it's not even accurate. Mutations are the result of the changes in the reproductive cells, which are seen in the offspring of normal looking parents. Our so-called mutations happened after we had already hatched as normal turtles." He raised a three-fingered hand and gazed at it. "Who's to say what our offspring might look like? It's like if a cat loses a tail in an accident, she'll still give birth to kittens with normal tails. So if only our morphology has changed, and not the actual genetics, our offspring would be just ordinary turtles."

"Well, we won't know 'til we try. And I'd be real willing to try," Michaelangelo grinned from opposite bunk

Splinter's ears came up a notch.

"You know, strictly in the interests of scientific investigation." He slid into his most perfect impish angel expression.

Splinter fixed Mike in a pointed stare.

"Not—not that I have any plans, right now, I mean, I'd just like, you know, be willing to uh...when the situation was right...uh...you know…" Michaelangelo abandoned his efforts at rescuing Don with humor. It hadn't worked anyway.

"I mean, we don't even know—who, what we are?" Don went on darkly. "Just some chemical accident? Some great cosmic joke? We were told it was an accident—but it wasn't really convincing. But if that's true, and if we four are all there will ever be—if we're not what they call a 'viable life form', then what? It's just us. And then we'll be gone. What would be the reason for that? "

Lia cleared her throat. "Maybe you are—Someone's – the Goddess'-God's deliberate plan—"

"Be nice if they'd let us know…" Don said to the floor.

"Maybe that is one of those unknowable things…"

"No." Don shook his head. "There is always some way to find the answers." He looked up, his expression almost pleading. "I want to know."

Splinter sighed deeply and gazed down. "You will not spare yourself this pain, will you, Donatello?"

"Splinter, I know there is an answer. Every question has to have an answer. I know you want me to say 'yes, some things cannot be known,' and find some peace in that. But I just don't believe it." He looked resolute. "I want to know," he repeated.

* * *

"He is the weakest link, you know," said Skylord. He leaned his arms against the white wrought iron banister. The sun sparkled off the river below and the sky glimmered with a rare brilliance for the city.

"Excuse me?" N turned his head to him. He sat at one of the bright white chairs on the veranda.

"The one we have opened the channel into. The one I have been striking. He is the weakest among them."

"What makes you say that?"

Skylord watched the water, the sailboats skimming around the long, low industrial ship moving slowly upstream. "He choked at a critical moment. When the other one, whatever his name is…Leonardo…was ready to kill me. She stopped him, of course, but that one, our little conduit, like her, he appeared to have no stomach for my demise either."

"And for that you see him as the weakest link?"

Skylord nodded. "Mercy is a failure of one's conviction."

"You have much to learn, Alex. My immediate superior felt he may prove to be the strongest, and the most difficult to take. Certainly a close second."

"Really? Why?"

N swayed his head slowly from side to side, smiling, as though weighing what he might say in response. The gesture always unnerved Skylord, for no matter what the lighting, or the angle, he couldn't see behind the dark tinted glasses to N's eyes. _If indeed he has eyes, _thought Skylord, and then felt as the breeze off the river seemed to turn several degrees colder. He shivered despite the warmth of the sun.

"How can I explain this so that it makes sense," mused N. He took a long drag on his cigarette. "There are factors which mark these creatures, and therefore give us some purchase. Happily, these are weaknesses nearly identical to what we see in ordinary human beings. So we will not need to-how does the phrase go? Reinvent the wheel. This one you call the weakest link, would appear to be not overly conflicted. He also exhibits the greatest control over his emotional state. Perhaps not always, nor under all circumstances. But claiming him will be a great thing. The greater the challenge, the greater the worth. Do you understand that, Alex?"

Skylord struggled to keep his features neutral. "Claiming him?" he asked.

"Yes. Alex, you didn't think we were merely going to kill them outright, did you?"

Skylord shook his head, though he was now confused. "No. I mean, yes. Yes. That was what I had thought we had discussed."

"No, no indeed, my dear Alex. My employers want them alive- for at least a while. Well, it is a bit complicated, I suppose. One part of the job will be to deliver their bodies to the specific agencies who want them. The second part, which is my task, is a somewhat more delicate operation. It entails the claiming of certain-ah-less material attributes which these creatures should never have been granted."

Skylord turned away, gripped the banister and stared out at the water again. After a moment he found his voice. "What _are_ you?" he asked.

"Alex. It is far too late to worry about that now. Your concern needs only be with the contract you must fulfill. And rest assured you will receive payment."

"Alright, then, N. Tell me this. Do you know where they are now?"

"I have my contacts. I have some idea where they might be. Why do you ask?"

"Because they still have my wife and child!" Skylord all but shouted.

"You are losing patience with this operation."

"Because I cannot see the results. I cannot see what is happening-!"

N's expression sobered. "Your anger impedes you, Alex. Fogs your vision. Feeds your arrogance. It is a dangerous thing, Alex."

Skylord turned slowly toward the man seated calmly before him. "How do you know this? How? How would you know?"

N looked up at him through the veil of smoke that circled about his face despite the gentle breeze moving inland off the water. "You do not know, do you, Alex, how close you came to death that night?"

"She stopped them. Close only counts in hand grenades and-"

"Horse shoes. Yes. So I have heard." N straightened, resting his arms on the glass tabletop. "Now listen to me. There is a reason why we are doing this from this somewhat distant vantage point. I have told you, you possess skills necessary for this operation. You have been successful, to a limited degree in the past, in dealing with these creatures. And you were not killed. I would not hedge my bets in the future. And you are far more valuable to my employers alive than dead. Yes, your loving wife was able to stop that one from killing you. I doubt she would be able to again. And that one, Alex," N leaned forward, the sunlight dazzling off his glasses, drawing Skylord closer to his face by sheer force of will. "That one, is the one we must stop. That one must be stopped at all costs."

"Which-?"

"The one which nearly killed you."

"Leonardo—"

"Leonardo."

Skylord scowled. "We will eliminate all of them. Why that one in particular?"

N ran a hand over his mouth, looking again out over the steadily rolling water of the East River. "It will become apparent to you in time, Alex. It is not information you need today. You will simply have to trust me."


	9. Chapter 9

_The Journey Home_

**Chapter Nine**

* * *

"Leo—so we're _running_?"

Leonardo gestured at the phone. "He told me to get out of the house."

"Gah…" Raphael slung his feet up onto the arm of the couch, lying back. "That's stupid."

"I know." Leonardo pulled back the curtains and looked out at the front yard. "But if our presence here puts the house at risk—I guess we need to clear out."

"You know how lame that sounds? I mean, how many Foot can there be left?"

"Yeah…" Leonardo turned back. "And we're doing it for April."

Raphael sat up, lifted his hands in resignation. "When do you want to go?"

"After dark. We'll head for that truck stop north of here. Catch a rig going north. It'll give us a chance to find a map, too." Leonardo glanced back toward the stairs, sucked on a tooth, thinking. "Better dig out the trenchcoats and packs." He turned and started up the stairs.

"Ok, Leo. Whatever." He didn't say it with hostility. All the anger, the rage, the bitter self-recrimination had worn down now to a subdued grayness. Raphael was, at last, too emotionally exhausted to fight it, or to argue with Leo. It washed over him, like a slow oppressive fog. And for the moment, he realized he was content to let Leo do what he did best. Take charge. Make it happen. And it occurred to him too, at the moment, he was grateful for that. Raphael closed his eyes and sank back into the couch.

He heard the noise at first as a vibration. The sensation of sound beneath his feet, coming through the hardwood floor, distant, low. He frowned and stood, and then heard the rumble of motors far down the road. Loud, large vehicles, were coming up the road. He went to the window and saw the distant plume of dust.

"Leo-!"

Leonardo was at his side by the window, the bundle of clothes and hats and day packs in his arms.

"What do you suppose that is?" asked Raphael.

A line of featureless white vehicles, vans and small trucks, and unmarked black sedans could now be seen, rolling up the road.

"I don't know," said Leo. "But the road only leads to here-"

They turned, Leonardo pausing only long enough to grab his sheathed katana from where they rested against the edge of the couch, and shot through the dining room and kitchen and out the back door.

They ran into the woods, heading north, where the land angled steeply upward and the trees grew thicker. From behind the shelter of a fallen tree, overgrown with berry brambles, the two peered downhill at the farmhouse below.

Thirteen unmarked white vans had pulled up into the drive, and several brown utility pickup trucks. Fifteen black cars drew up alongside of them.

"I didn't think NoHo had that many cops..." said Raphael.

"This doesn't make sense…they don't even look like cops," said Leo, slowly adjusting the leather belting over his shoulder, shrugging the two katana into position, eyes never leaving the spectacle below.

The black cars disgorging uniformed men, who spread out around the drive and yard, speaking into their shoulder mounted radios, moving with great caution, guns drawn.

"Gee, I wonder if Bloody Lia has struck again…" grinned Raphael.

Leonardo frowned. A moment later the rear doors of several vans opened and men emerged from them. They wore heavy protective white jumpsuits and space-helmet headgear. The men in protective clothing began unloading what appeared to be medical equipment on dollies from the vans

Raphael shrugged. "So, what? They think she's radioactive now?"

Leonardo slowly shook his head as the realization dawned on him. "Raph, they're not looking for Lia. They're looking for us."

"Oh, man…" Raphael's voice dropped to a whisper.

"Someone knows we're here. Someone has seen us."

* * *

The river rolled slowly by, appearing almost motionless at this place, where it widened. The rushing sound from further upstream told of swifter waters just around the bend. On either side, the forested slopes of the river canyon steeply climbed upward. Dense growth of firs and pines and oaks rustled softly in the breezes. The small sandy beach glittered a golden white, surrounding shadows deepened into purple. She sat on a smooth, sun-warmed granite boulder, feet in the cool water. Her teacher sat beside her, as the green water all around them sparkled in the sunlight.

The old woman was weaving a basket, swiftly bending the softened fibers of rushes over and over with gnarled, brown fingers. Her black eyes followed the motions of her hands.

"So, tell me, my daughter, how fares your heart today?" she asked without looking up from her work.

"I have secrets," Lia answered. "Things I cannot tell."

"You may tell me," Belladonna still did not look up. The breeze moved her hair, small strands pulled free from her silver and black braids.

Lia took a deep breath. "There is someone I care for…"

"Ah. Does this person know of your care?"

"I don't think so. I hope not. I feel so foolish."

"Feelings are not foolish. Only actions may prove to be foolish."

_I want to tell you. I have to tell someone…_

"Tell me, child."

She swallowed. "I've never met anyone like him before," she said softly. "I've never known anyone so…so honest."

Belladonna looked up from her work, dark eyes deep in her weather-brown face holding Lia in her gaze.

"It's like he's just…" Lia said slowly. "...he's just _good_. I don't know exactly what I mean by that."

"Perhaps you mean what you say."

"It's like he is how I would want to be. Sort of. I mean, he's brave and strong, and I think he really lives what he believes in… It's like he has all the parts I'm missing. Almost like he's the other half of…me."

Belladonna cocked her head, questioning.

"But I don't think he is someone I could ever…he wouldn't want…that."

"Perhaps he does not know what he might want."

"What do you mean?" Lia brushed her hair back as the wind played at it.

"Perhaps he needs you to show him the way."

The breeze was picking up, the trees moving around them. The wind sighed in the branches. A small flurry of leaves spun around the two. It seemed to be growing darker, as though a cloud had moved across the face of the sun.

"I don't know what I could show him." Lia frowned, confused.

"Lia, child. Do not devalue what you know you have learned."

"It's not that. It's just that I don't think that I'm…" Lia hesitated.

"You are not what, child?" the wind tugged at the old woman's shawl, but her black eyes remained fixed on Lia.

"I'm not…I don't think I'm good, that way, like him. I'm, you know, I'm all messed up."

The shadows moved quickly across the sandy place, deepening purple gliding down from the cliffs above, the wind buffeted her face now. Darker still, and the wind raised its voice. Lia looked around. The landscape was changing. More rocky, steeper. She couldn't hear Belladonna's reply, though she could still see her face. The wind kept rising, and then she lost even the dark, ancient eyes in the sudden confusion of leaves and debris swirling around her.

_"Belladonna-?"_ her voice was torn from her, darkness spun her around- sudden vertigo -she felt herself falling- she tried to cry out as the darkness closed in and she tumbled down—and horrible cry rose on the wind- piercing through the darkness- through the falling-

Lia jerked awake- arms flailing and hitting the bunk above her-darkness –and Donatello howling-

"Don! Don!" Michaelangelo's voice. A match was lit in the dark. Lia twisted around, looking over her shoulder and could make out one turtle on the floor, curled into a ball—a cry like a wounded animal wracking through him.

"Mommy!" Rose called in a high, frightened voice next to her. Lia reached for her and at the same time grabbed at the bunk, part of her mind still fighting the fall from the dreamscape.

The small electric light came on overhead. Wrapping Rose in her arms, Lia slid from the bunk and joined Splinter and Mike at Don's side on the small area of floor in the trailer. Rose clung to her tightly. The rumble of the road beneath them indicated they were still in motion, driving through the night.

"Donatello—" There was alarm in Splinter's voice.

Donatello shuddered violently, suppressing a moan. He gradually grew quieter, shaking still, but calming some, curled up, arms covering his face. A tiny puddle of blood was pooling up in the small, soft depression behind his jaw.

"Try to sit up, my son," Splinter gently held Don under one arm, and pulled him carefully to his knees by the edge of his carapace. Mike supported his other arm.

"I—I don't like these at all…" said Don shakily, holding his head.

"Don," said Mike softly. "You're bleeding out your ears…"

"That really doesn't surprise me," said Don.

* * *

By nightfall the people swarming in and out of the farmhouse had lit five huge artificial lights in the yard. Their voices and the sounds of equipment being moved around carried to them on the evening breeze.

"Damn," muttered Raphael. "Bet you can see that from space."

They both froze. A sound, so quiet, behind them, down wind. With one motion both turned to look behind them. Two red pinpoints of light, leered at them, maybe 300 yards away, in the black shadows of the trees.

They dove apart, to either side, as something struck the log where they had been crouched an instant before. Three, four, six darts, hit the fallen tree and the leaves around them. The two larger ones exploded upward with a pneumatic fooshing sound and two huge nets ballooned out from the darts, draping over the area.

From downhill where they had rolled, they listened to the crunch of leaves under foot, and low murmured conversation. Several men were noisily climbing the slope above them, still expecting them to be there. Two more muted shots were fired.

"Good thing they're stupid," whispered Raphael.

"And slow."

'Tranquilizer darts, you think?"

Leo nodded. "And nets."

"What the hell do they think we are?"

Leo smiled a little. "Bet they'd really like to know."

Another shot and Raphael cried out, jerking forward.

"Oh, damn!" Leonardo pulled him down with him and they rolled together as one, through the leaves and broken branches, further down the far side of the hill.

"My leg! Shit!" Raphael was groping at this calf trying to reach the dart.

"Got it-come on!" Leo threw the dart aside. "Can you run?"

"Yeah." Raphael staggered against him. "Little dizzy-" Leonardo started to help him and he quickly straightened. "I'm ok, Leo. I'm ok."

Another shot and this time Leonardo ducked reflexively.

"You hit?"

"Hit my shell—let's go. These guys must have heat sensors-"

"They're still stupid," Raphael growled thickly as Leonardo braced his brother against him. The two disappeared into the darkness of the undergrowth.

* * *

"Whatcha got there?" whispered the shorter of the two men. He shone his flashlight about, nervously peering into the darkness for any movement in the underbrush.

"One of the darts," answered the other as he raised it to the flashlight. "Oh, yeah…this is good."

"What?"

"Blood."

* * *

Donatello sat on the floor, holding the cup of tea a bit unsteadily in both hands. This last spell was taking longer to get over.

"Sensei, something strange happened this time," he said quietly.

They had pulled off the road. April and Casey had come back to the trailer announcing they were parked at a highway rest stop and hoping to catch a bit of sleep in the bunks. The two turtles and Splinter sat on the floor. Lia had declined both the offer of the third bunk, and the option to sleep in the car. Jake made her too nervous, though she didn't want to complain, feeling bad enough about all the trouble everyone seemed to be going through on her behalf. The truth was, she felt safer in the company of the turtles and Splinter, than anywhere else she could even think of.

Donatello had waited until at least it seemed April was asleep before saying anything. There didn't seem to be any reason to trouble her with this, and he didn't want to frighten her.

"What happened, Donatello?" asked Splinter.

"It's like there was a voice, or something inside my head, just when it got really bad, I heard, or felt something."

"What did it say?" whispered Lia.

"It was telling me there was a way I could make the pain stop."

"Did it say how?" asked Mike.

Don shook his head. "Never got that far. And it wasn't so much like words, just kind of an idea."

Lia shivered, felt the hair on her arms stand up. "Was it a man's voice?"

"No." Don thought for a moment. "More like a woman's…no. No, it was kinda like both….or neither."

"So," said Splinter softly. "There was some kind of voice?"

Don closed his eyes. "I don't know. It was just something so soothing, like sleep, like darkness…"

* * *

"Thanatos…" Alexander Skylord sat at the dining room table, wearily staring into the wine glass before him. He looked at N, standing, his back to him, staring out the window at the New York City night skyline. The man was more and more becoming a constant companion. And by the look of things, N was going to spend the entire night with him. Skylord was tired. He wished N would go. The spell was done. Tonight had been entirely successful, albeit, exhausting. In truth, Skylord wondered at his fatigue. It didn't seem that he should tire so quickly.

"N," he said. "You said once that the branch of the corporation I would be working for was called 'Thanatos'."

N half turned, and nodded.

"That is Greek for the death instinct, the opposite of Eros, the drive towards life."

"That is correct, Alex."

Skylord started to reach for a cigarette and then stopped. He was weary of smoking. Weary of drinking. Weary of trying to understand. Yet he felt driven still, to know. "I have always believed my work was in the service of the Light. The Brotherhood of the Holy White Light was named in honor of that tradition. I still believe that whatever work I do for you, and your parent company, will ultimately serve that end, because I chose that to be so. What payment I receive shall go to my work in that."

N slowly walked to the table, hand stroking his chin, thoughtfully. "Tell me, Alex, what do you know of pure white light?"

"What do you mean? The light of consciousness—the Holy White Light of Creation? Divine Light?"

"No. No. Nothing so –" N waved a hand in dismissal. "Lofty. Just white light. Have you ever seen the most powerful expression of pure white light that this planet knows?"

"I…" Skylord shook his head. "I don't know—"

"Most likely you have not, for you are still alive. The most powerful expression of pure white light that this reality has ever experienced is the thermo-nuclear explosion."

"I would have said—I have always thought of the Light as Life."

"And what, Alex, is the unrestricted growth of Life?"

Skylord gestured to encompass the room, the penthouse building, all of New York. "Life begets life."

"Unrestricted growth is cancer. Cancer, Alex."

"And so you are saying, the role of Thanatos, the reason for the name…?"

"Balance, Alex," N's voice poured like honey.

"Life must be balanced with death." Skylord scowled. "You said I had been working for you, in some obscure way, for some time. But I know my work has always been directed to Light, to consciousness. I have fought the Darkness, taught my students to control their animal natures, to eliminate the dark, unconscious side. I know the dangers lurking in the darkness of the Moon, how that force leads us back, while the Sun shows us the way forward…I have taught this, fought for this. It would seem to me we are at cross purposes-"

"You have incorporated the use of Black Magic…" N looked back out the grand window, over the dark waters.

"Only in the service of the Light. Only as a means to an end."

"Alex. It doesn't work that way. Life begets life. Death begets death. You belonged to us long before you signed that contract. You just didn't know it."

* * *

"Leo-"

"Yeah?"

"You can stop carrying me now."

"It's ok, Raph. I'm not carrying you. We've stopped. We're under a bridge-"

"No. I know that. I mean you can stop _carrying_ me now."

"What-?"

"Leo, you've carried me for three days. Since New York. Since we left Lucindra's place. You can stop now. I'm ok."

Leonardo readjusted his position, pushing himself up a bit further into the shadows of the fitted rock structure. The ridge of his carapace scraped softly as he wedged into the small space.

"Leo…"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

* * *

"That's not legal, is it?" Lia chewed a fingernail and watched as Casey reset the screws back into the license plate frame.

Casey looked up and shot her a rakish grin. "Neither are you."

They were well off the main road, on a gravel drive hidden in the brilliant green of the Vermont spring forest. Lia stood with April, offering some sort of moral support to Casey as he sat working in the dirt.

"We're gonna be at the border real soon, now," said Casey. "And even though this is the only route I know of where we won't get stopped and checked, a little insurance never …hurt...uhg." He wiped his hands. "I need a wrench on the other side of this." He looked in the coffee can sitting next to where he knelt on the ground and rattled around through the nuts and bolts and metallic odds and ends. "Hey, Don!" He called over his shoulder. "You got a little wrench somewhere?"

"Got it!" Mike answered from the other side of the trailer.

Casey fished out a bolt and set against the inside of the car's frame.

"There ya go; it's in the can."

"Thanks, Mike."

"I feel bad you guys are having to go through all this," said Lia, scanning around once again for Rose. She was still chattering to Sean where he was leaning up against the side of the trailer.

"Don't worry." April slipped a reassuring arm around Lia's shoulders. "We've done even weirder things in the past."

"Yeah," Casey rolled onto one shoulder, his head under the bumper. "At least, I have." He reached blindly into the coffee can. "In fact, did I tell you the time me an' my cousin Sid—AGH!"

Casey jerked up abruptly, whacking his head on the bumper. "Argh! Damn!" He raised his hand from the coffee can. It dripped green goo. "What the-? _Mike!"_ Casey was on his feet, stumbling in his haste to catch the culprit with the hand cleaner jar, who had long since vanished.

Lia glanced over at April who was doing a very poor job of suppressing her laughter. As soon as Casey was out of ear-shot she broke up, shoulders shaking.

"Oh, god, leave it to Mike…" she giggled. "I can't tell you the number of times he's gotten me."

"He hasn't pulled anything on me," said Lia.

"Stick around. No one's safe," April smiled and then caught Lia's expression. "You would _like_ to stick around, wouldn't you?"

Lia shrugged. "I have to get home. But, the truth is," she looked at April. "I don't think I have ever felt safe, in my whole life, until I met these guys. Makes it hard to want to leave them." _Especially Leo. Oh, god…._

April sobered and nodded.

"I hope I get to see Leo and Raph before I have to go." It leaped out of her mouth. At least she included Raph.

"Well, they are supposed to meet us in the next day or so, depending on how fast they can travel. And you know, we're not going to send you off by yourself. Listen." April took Lia's arm and guided her around to the side of the trailer. The morning sun was already warming the shiny silver aluminum, and the brilliant light was reflected back at them. "Casey and I were talking last night. I have a sister in California. We thought we may as well take you all the way back there, and visit Robyn at the same time. I haven't seen her in years. I've been kind of out of touch with my family since...well, since I've been living with my new family. Makes things kind of awkward, you know. So anyway, that's the tentative plan. Ofcourse, we still have to talk to Splinter, and the guys, though I think they'd probably be up for an adventure like – what?" April frowned.

"You would do that?" asked Lia, her eyes wide. "You would drive me all the way across the country?"

"Well…yeah," April realized Lia was close to tears. "You ok?"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine. It's just that, you're all so…everyone is so nice to me…I mean, thank you. Really, April, thank you."

"Hey, forget it," April smiled. "Like I said, we all understand what it feels like."

Lia nodded and quickly wiped her eyes, automatically looking around again. "Where'd Rose go? S'cuse me, I have to find her-"

"Around the other side, I think." April watched Lia hurry behind the trailer. From somewhere in the trees she could hear Casey bellowing some dire threat at Mike, who ofcourse, was very seriously practicing the art of invisibility.

Lia found Rose in Don's arms, working hard on pulling his mask off his face. Don was tolerating her determined efforts and talking to Sean.

"Why you gots dis?" Rose demanded, nearly blinding him with her tiny fingers. "Take dis off!"

"What I'm trying to ask you is, how long have you known him?" Don was asking Sean.

Sean gave a non-committal shrug toyed with a small knife attached to his belt with a chain.

"You don't remember or you don't want to tell me?" Don sighed. "Look, I'm not trying to hassle you or anything. I'm ok with getting both of you out of town. I believe you that you needed to. I'm just trying to figure out how much anyone knows about him."

"I dunno. A week, I guess. What the hell difference does it make?"

"What do you know about him?" Don caught Rose's hand as she tugged his mask up over his eyes.

"He's straight. Total straight edge. A geek dude from the 'burbs. Never been on the street. That, I know."

"Dere!" announced Rose triumphantly holding Don's mask aloft. "Mommy! Yook! I gots it!"

Lia had hung back, listening, but with Rose's announcement, walked up, smiling at her beaming daughter. "Good job, Rosie."

Don smiled, bemused, and shrugged. "She's a persistent one. Wonder where she gets it from."

"Look," said Sean, his voice lowered to a harsh whisper. "You trust me right? You guys know you can trust me. I told you guys where she –" he gestured to Lia, "had gone that night, right?"

"What? Where did I go?" said Lia.

"You don't know?" Sean turned to her. "They didn't tell you?" He raised his arms in dismay. "Tell her!"

Don reached for his mask in Rose's firm grip, wrestled with her for a moment, and then gave up as she wiggled to get down. "The night you were attacked at the train station, Sean was the one who told us where you had been taken. Without his help we would've had a tough time finding you-"

"You'da never found her!" Sean blurted.

"Well, actually, I probably could have gotten into —" Don stopped, smiled, and decided to give it to him. "Ok, we'd have never found you."

"I had no idea-," said Lia, looking at him. Sean brushed his disheveled hair back out of his eyes. "I –I guess I owe you one. Thank you."

"Hey, no prob. It's these guys that owe me. Remember?" Sean said. "Lessons. That was the deal. I'm still waitin'."

. "Yeah, yeah," agreed Don. "Tell you what. We get to the park Casey's taking us to, and we'll make some time, ok? We haven't been trying to avoid it. I actually enjoy teaching."

"Cool, dude. And look, as far as Jake goes, you trust me, and I vouch for him, ok? That's how it is. Word up. I vouch for him."

Don nodded. He didn't look altogether convinced, but it was apparent he wasn't going to get any more information out of Sean than that. It seemed doubtful that Sean knew much more anyway.

Lia caught Rose by the hand as she was scurrying off with her prize. As she gently cajoled her into surrendering the captured red mask, she felt a strange combination of relief and renewed anxiety about Jake. Relief that Don, too, had been concerned enough to look into it, but anxiety because it meant perhaps her ill ease was not unfounded.

Lia lifted Rose to her hip and handed Don his mask as Sean turned and bopped off toward the trees. "How are you feeling?" she asked.

"I'm fine," he said lightly.

"Don," Lia lowered her voice. "What's the deal with Jake? Do you know something?"

"I have no idea. Something just feels off. And I don't think that Sean kid knows either." He shrugged. "You know, it might just be that Jake is so scared and confused he's afraid to talk to us too much. Might be something totally innocent…"

"But…" Lia coaxed.

"But I don't think so," finished Don.

* * *

The crackling fire sent jagged patterns dancing against the graffiti adorned sides of the boxcars in the quiet train yard. The smell of oil and old diesel smoke filled the dusk air. Further up the track another fire glimmered, surrounded by the lumpy shadows of men, hovering around it.

"You think the fire was a good idea?" asked Raphael.

"Yeah. I think we're better off hiding in plain sight. We just look like more hobos this way."

"Izzat what they're even called anymore? Hobos?" Raphael watched down the track at the band of tattered people too far away to hear, or clearly see them. "They look like every other homeless person living under a bridge in New York."

"Yeah," Leo followed his gaze. "More of 'em all the time, too. Humans are doing a great job managing things."

Raphael grunted in cynical agreement and poked at the fire with a stick.

"Yeah. Well." Leonardo stood and stretched, the shadow of his bulky overcoat reaching eerily across the side of the boxcar, like a great twisted bat. "This was a good place to wind up anyway. We should know by morning which line of cars is going north. Looks like they switch everything off the main line here. With any luck we'll be at Raftenport tomorrow."

Raphael stirred the can of beans they'd scrounged with a bent spoon. Trying to make conversation took effort, but it was worse having Leo mother hen after him. And every time he fell silent for more than ten minutes, he could feel his brother's concern like a palpable blanket around him. It was wearing on his already thin patience, and it wasn't, he thought, like he had ever been much of a conversationalist at any time before. Now he felt under pressure to sound more social than he felt, just to keep Leo off his back.

Thinking about tomorrow, Leo's mind had begun to wander again. Fighting to bring it back had become a full time job. Unless he had Raphael to focus on, or some security problem to deal with, he seemed to have less and less control over his own thoughts. It was driving him nuts.

"So Lia is still with them, huh?" said Raphael, seeming to read his mind.

Leonardo adjusted his overcoat. It felt clumsy where it got hung up on his katana, making him look like a short, hulking hunchback.

Raphael heard the non-reply. He looked up from under his battered hat. Leonardo was staring down the tracks at the other fire and it's small gathering of men.

"Leo?"

"Hm?"

"What do you think?"

"About Lia?"

"Yeah. About Lia. I thought you heard me."

Leonardo sighed. He squatted back down before the fire, the heat from the flames hitting his face. "I think," he said slowly, "she's a very pretty girl. I think she's too kind-hearted for her own good. And she needs to get back home, to her own family, and her own life."

"That it?"

Leonardo nodded. "Yeah, Raph. That's it."

_No, Raph, that's not all of it. But that's all there can be._


	10. Chapter 10

_The Journey Home_

**Chapter Ten**

* * *

The park outside of Raftenport turned out to be not much more than a glorified rest area. There was a great large parking lot perched up on a hillside, offering a nearly 360 degree view of the highway, low lying forestland and waterways below. On the western side, the slope continued upward, with a very civilized hiking trail clearly marked in both French and English. There were fifteen picnic tables on the grassy area scattered around and a large sign proclaiming "No Overnight Camping. No Fires".

"Oh, well," sighed Casey, when they had pulled up the afternoon before. "Ya know, this place is a lot smaller than I remembered it."

"How old were you last time you were here?" April had asked.

"Five, I think."

Lia had finally been persuaded to ride in the car for the last leg of the trip. Whether because of the large captive audience or simply that Casey had finally hit his stride, the passengers were regaled with tales of Casey's adventures for the entire ride. It seemed he had either lived, or had some para-illegal vigilante adventure, at nearly every place they passed through.

At least the stories kept Lia's mind off of Jake, who sat slumped low in the backseat. Each time Lia turned around to say something to Sean, Jake sank further down, closing his eyes as though asleep. She concluded it was a desperate, albeit not a very effective, attempt at invisibility.

Happily, no one had bothered to come by and check if anyone had spent the night, and so they had slept undisturbed, if cramped once again. In the morning cars had begun arriving around 9am, most staying only a short time, but it was obvious the little park was far too popular a stop for their purposes.

"They may have to wait until nightfall before they can even get close," said April, as she watched yet another large R.V. pull into the parking area.

Casey sat perched on the edge of the picnic table. "Our boys in the trailer would probably like a chance to get out for while again, too. This place has sure gotten busy."

"Busy time of year, too," April opened her book again. "Everyone's out on vacation. And the weather is so nice."

Casey shrugged and tossed back the rest of his beer. "Maybe it'll rain."

April looked up at the sparkling blue skies. "Doubt it." She scanned around the grassy field again, knowing full well that she wouldn't see Leo or Raph even if they were nearby. "Where did Sean and Jake go?" she asked.

"Sent 'em off to gather fire wood. Figured we might as well break every rule here while we're at it."

"Hmph," sniffed April. "Casey Jones, defender of Law and Order."

"Well, I am," Casey protested, sounding wounded. "Some laws are just stupid."

Lia was lying in the warm grass on her stomach, not far from them, nearly as engrossed as Rose with watching a small black beetle bury itself from their view. Rose kept tearing up blades of grass to make a house for it but the ungrateful bug kept seeking his own accommodations.

Eventually the warm sun on her back and the lazy activity made Lia sleepy. She hoped Rose would be willing to nap for a while and give her a few moments respite. She led her off to the trailer.

They had parked back under the only stand of trees at the far edge of the parking lot, and even so, it was a good bit warmer inside the trailer than out. Splinter was meditating or dozing, Lia couldn't really be sure, and Don was reading. Mike restlessly bounced from one corner of the trailer to the other, obviously bored to distraction. His face lit up when he saw Lia and Rose.

"Hey! Hey! You wanna play a game?" he asked eagerly, rummaging through the cabinet over the sink. "We got Parcheesi, and Monopoly, and, oh look! Twister!"

Lia blinked, wondering how Mike thought any one could play Twister in the confines of the trailer. "Mike, I'm sorry, I'm trying to get her down for a nap."

"Oh." He looked crestfallen.

"I wanna play!" squealed Rose, tugging to free her hand from Lia's.

"It's hot in here, isn't it?" asked Lia.

"Yeah. Makes me kinda hyper."

Splinter opened his eyes. "Lia," he said softly. "There is no sign of Leonardo and Raphael as yet, is there?"

Donatello looked up from his book, appearing a little glassy-eyed and disoriented.

Lia shook her head. "There's a lot of cars coming and going out there."

The old rat stood and stretched his spine straight, his tail uncoiling behind him. "Perhaps tonight then," he said. "There is no cause for concern. I would not be surprised if it took them several more days even."

Michaelangelo groaned softly and slumped back up against the sink.

"Patience, my son," Splinter gently reprimanded.

"I know, Splinter. It's just that there's all that awesome sunshine out there and we're stuck in here."

Splinter gazed at him with understanding, and nodded gently. For all the years they had lived hidden from the sight of most of humanity, the impact of this necessity on his sons could still cause Splinter pain. Lia saw it in his face, and saw it in Mike's light little shrug as he shook off his disappointment.

"Lia," said Splinter, redirecting his attention, "please, take this bunk. We will try to make it a little more comfortable in here. Although," he smiled just a bit, "I myself find the warmth quite delightful."

With the windows opened wide and the door wedged open a crack, it seemed a little less stuffy, and Rose eventually settled down. Lia, curled next to her, nearly fell asleep herself. She sat up groggily, and carefully moved around the sleeping child. Feeling guilty, she gave the excuse that she needed to find a restroom, and slipped back outside into the fresh afternoon air.

She headed for the hiking trail, which climbed the hillside between neat little signs admonishing hikers to stay on the trail and not to disturb the environment. The trail kept clear of the trees, skirting the edge of the rocky hillside where it dropped away. Her feet crunched on the fine gray gravel, the afternoon sun was warm on her bare shoulders.

Lia wasn't happy leaving Mike and Don imprisoned, while she was free to roam. She thought back guiltily to last week—was it only a week ago? She had angrily thrown it back in their faces that the turtles' movements were restricted. She had asked them for help, then challenged their ability to help her. And their response had been to nearly die in their efforts to do what she asked. And then, against all odds, had they succeeded. She made a silent vow to not argue with them anymore.

She had some worries still; what had become of poor Adeline Jackson, and what was going on with Donatello's sudden blinding headaches, and the two travelers who had not yet arrived. But the overwhelming reality was that she and Rose were safe now. And for that, she knew she would always feel in their debt.

Lia paused and turned, looking back down the hillside at the little trailer where her daughter slept securely. She couldn't see it very well, hidden under the trees. She did notice the last car had pulling out of the parking lot, leaving them alone in the park site for the first time since the day before. Maybe Don, Mike, and Splinter could get out of the trailer at last. She frowned. Did Sean and Jake even know there was a large Japanese rat riding in the trailer? She didn't think anyone had mentioned him. That, she decided, would be an interesting encounter. Jake would probably faint dead away, she thought. He's so weird. No, he makes _me_ feel weird. Well, she concluded, there isn't a soul on this trip who hasn't got good reason to be feeling a little weird, for one reason or another. Although Don's apparent concern about Jake had reinforced her own.

And Don certainly hadn't looked too well himself since the last attack. He had seemed completely out of it, just now in the trailer. It made sense to her that Don would be one to develop some sort of eyestrain and maybe headache problems, spending as much time as he did staring at a computer screen. But there was something about the whole thing that felt much darker. And he hadn't been near a monitor in two days. She hoped it was just her paranoid imaginings. She knew she could easily work herself into unnecessary anxiety if she let her own fears run. Lia pushed aside her uneasiness. It was too beautiful a day to waste on fear.

She hiked a little further up the trail and stopped to take in the whole view. The hillside behind and above her was forested with hemlock, birch trees, maples and pines. Her lookout perch was the only exposed outcropping. Below her, beyond the perimeter of the grassy field, and stretching to the southern horizon, the hills rolled gently, interlaced with the silvery ribbons of many streams and narrow waterways. A cooling breeze licked softly around her as the sun warmed her face and arms. She breathed in the sweet air and sighed.

The sound of someone softly clearing his throat behind her didn't even make her jump. She turned.

Half hidden in the dappled shade, not ten feet from her, Leonardo stood, in full battle gear.

"Hi."

"Hi."

Lia said, "Well, you made it!" at the same time Leo said, "I didn't scare you did I?" She said "no", at the same time he said "yes," then they tried to repeat the whole thing, still talking over each other. Lia giggled. Leo smiled and shrugged. They stood quiet for a moment, facing one another.

"So, did you know it was me that time?" Leonardo asked.

"I think I did."

"But you didn't hear me?"

"No. I just knew you were there." Lia looked into the trees behind him. "Where's Raph?" she asked.

"He's down there." Leo stepped out of the trees and moved next to her, looking down the slope at the little trailer under the trees. "We both went in there first. Talked to Splinter. And Mike and Don. Had to get everyone caught up on what has happened."

"What _has_ happened?" asked Lia.

"Ah..." Leo hesitated, eyes on the hillside below. "Nothing. Just, you know, stuff."

Lia knew he wasn't telling her something, and also knew it was pointless to pursue it. "Was it hard getting here?" she asked instead.

"No. We were pretty lucky."

"How is Raph doing? How are _you_ doing?"

"I'm fine. What about you?"

"Pretty good," Lia smiled. "Maybe better all the time."

Leo cocked his head quizzically.

"Is Raphael ok?" asked Lia again.

"Raph's doing a little better. He still blames himself, which is probably my fault."

Lia frowned. "How is that your fault?"

Leo looked at her for an instant and then back out toward the southern horizon. "Argument we had. I probably didn't handle it very well. Even if I was right, I could have handled it better." He looked at her again and motioned her to join him. He sat down in the grass, soundlessly, crossing his legs beneath him in one fluid movement.

Lia sat down next to him in the low, scrubby grass. "You are so hard on yourself," she said.

Leo sighed. "Well, I know better. I just let my anger take over sometimes. I know better how to deal with Raph than what I usually end up doing."

"So, even with Raph you have to be perfect all the time?" Lia smiled.

Leo turned to her, serious. "I know it seems like I must believe that. But the thing is, that most of the time, for me, for all of us, it's been a matter of, do it right, do it perfectly, the first time, or get killed." He shrugged a little. "Gets to be habit."

Lia looked down and swallowed as the impact of that hit her.

"Hey," Leo ducked his head to meet her eyes. "I didn't mean that like any kind of put-down –"

"I know, I just forget…it's different for you…"

"Yeah, different," Leo repeated ironically.

"Ok. I guess that was quite an understatement."

"Actually, to me, it feels normal. It's just how it is. How it's always been."

Lia drew her knees up, clasping her hands around them. "Don't you feel like it was hard growing up like you did?"

"No. It was all we knew, really, except for what we saw on television. We didn't spend a lot of time wishing things were different. Or that we could be anybody but who we are. And we always had each other." Leo gazed out over the land below them. "That was the most important thing. My family is everything. Always has been."

"I can see how close you guys are. Even Raphael. You two really are pretty close, aren't you?"

Leo slowly shook his head. "He just wants so much more. I don't know. I understand some of it. But sometimes I think he enjoys being misunderstood."

"You're mad at him a lot, huh?"

"Not mad. I'm wary. He's reckless. And we can't afford that. I've always believed it's better to err on the side of caution. It's what has kept us alive. I don't think Raph even knows what that means. He never does listen to me." Leo turned to her. "And the thing is, you're right. I do love him. That's part of what makes it hard."

Lia nodded, struck once more by the transparent, light blue of the eyes behind the mask. "You think you two are that really different?"

"Sometimes it seems like the harder I pull one way, the harder he pulls the other."

"I wonder if you aren't more alike than you think." Lia pulled a blade of grass up and twisted it around her fingertips.

Leo's mouth drew back into a half-smile. "What do you mean?"

Lia shrugged a little. "I dunno." She tried to think of some factual evidence to back up what had just been an intuitive awareness. "Well, like how Raphael first acted when I was at your house. He was saying things like he was afraid my being there would cause problems with cops or people nosing around. That seems pretty cautious." It wasn't what she had actually meant, but it was all she could think of.

Leo shook his head. "You know what that was? Raph didn't want you there because I did."

Lia's eyes widened. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. Bringing you home was my idea. So Raph had to take the opposite side."

"Just to be obstinate?"

"Well, no." Leo looked up and out at the sky. "There was some history just before you showed up. A little conflict we were in the middle of…."

"What?" asked Lia, and then realized she was being awfully nosy. "You don't have to tell me," she quickly added.

"Well…" Leo hesitated. "Raph had put me in a uncomfortable position with some human – ah, some people. And I think I embarrassed him. And so he was still getting back at me when you showed up."

"He was getting back at you by yelling at me?"

"Raph doesn't always think these things through. I don't think he ever meant to hurt your feelings. He just reacts, you know? Without thinking."

Lia nodded. "So helping me was all your idea?"

"Not exactly. I mean, no one was against it, except Raph. But it didn't matter."

"What, you wouldn't have just let me slosh around there in the lovely sewer for another four or five hours?' Lia grinned. "Why not?"

"The way you looked," he said turning to her. "You looked so scared and alone. I could never have left you there."

His directness caught her off guard. She felt the heat rising in her face and she dropped her eyes, turning away.

"You're blushing," Leo said in a tone of wonder. He leaned forward, trying to see better. "Did I cause that?"

"I don't know, Leo…." Flustered, Lia covered her glowing cheeks with her hands. She closed her eyes. "Sometimes you have the strangest effect on me."

"You know," he said softly. "You have kind of an effect on me, too."

Her eyes flew open, but Leo was peering down the hillside at a late model Bronco pulling into the parking area. "Company," he said. "I'll meet you back down at the trailer in a while." He rose and disappeared back into the shadows of the woods. Not a sound; no rustle of underbrush, nor the snap of a twig underfoot. Nothing.

Lia stared into the trees behind her, and then dropped her head into her arms and wondered at the cyclone of feelings running through her.

She sat still for a long time it seemed, listening to her breath, listening to her heart. She heard the crunch of gravel underfoot and looked up. Below her on the trail a gangly figure was hiking rapidly up the hillside toward her, his eyes down, determination in his stride.

It was Jake.

Lia stood up and glanced around. She wished she could see one of the turtles, or Casey or even April. The new car in the parking lot had disgorged about six kids and they ran around the field merrily under the watchful eyes of their parents. Lia felt her breath speed up. Maybe she could run off into the trees if she had to, but she stood fast as Jake approached.

He looked agitated. He glanced from side to side nervously, a strand of black hair falling into his eyes.

"Hey," he said reaching her. "I need to talk to you."

"Ok…" she answered steadily.

Jake looked around again, peering into the trees for a moment, and pushing the hair out of his eyes. "You alone?" he asked breathlessly.

Lia didn't know what to answer. She didn't want to tell him she was alone, and the truth was, she wasn't sure whether she was or not. She shrugged, glancing around uncertainly.

"Ok, well, I gotta ask you something. Do you know who I am?"

Lia blinked. "Didn't I ask _you_ that?"

"Yeah, well, I just wanted to make sure you hadn't blown it yet. Ok, look this is probably suicide, but I'm afraid you'll figure it out and spill the beans. So I need to tell you." Jake stood a little taller. "I know who you are."

"You know who _I _am? Who am I?"

"You are Lia Ana Skylord, Wife of Alex, Mistress of all Magical Rites of the Brotherhood of the Holy White Light."

Lia gasped. "Where did you hear that name? Who told you-?"

"You did." Jake stood solemnly, eyes on her. "You told me that was your name, when you introduced yourself, that night at the cathedral, when you told Tsui and me we could leave our posts. You said you had been assigned to guard those—those things."

Lia's heart thudded a sudden erratic beat. "You- you were one of the guards- you were there- at the cathedral! You're a- a-" _Foot!_ she thought. Lia looked around quickly. W_here is everyone?_ She started to back away.

"Wait! Wait!" Jake took a step forward. "Don't run off! Please! You've got to hear me out."

Lia paused, her breath shaky, watching him warily. "Ok, I'm listening."

"Ok," he said, looking feverishly around again. He certainly appeared more frightened than threatening. "First of all, I'm not what you think. I'm not really Foot. I had only been training with them a couple of months. And I'm sure not in the clan anymore, not since they decided it was my fault those turtle things escaped that night and I became numero uno on their hit list. Look, I had no idea you were so tight with those things. I thought you were on _our_ side. I thought you were with those Brotherhood people and you and your old man had cut a deal to help bring 'em in."

"They aren't 'things'," Lia started.

"Oh, yeah. Right. Look," Jake's voice lowered. "You've got no idea what you're messing with here."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you don't know how dangerous those things are! Or what they do. They _kill _people. Listen to me, ok? I can understand how you might have felt sorry for them that night, but did anyone tell you _why_ the Foot was going to execute them?"

"I think I know why," Lia said, keeping her voice steady. "But, what I really need to know is what are you doing here now?"

"What am I doing here? Cripes! It's because of you I'm here! You told me you were ordered to stand guard. I believed you and I dragged Tsui off with me, too. I did you a big favor. Well, Tsui's dead, and I would be too, if I hadn't run into that Sean kid. He said he knew some people who could get me out of town. What a joke! Turned out to be you, and those—turtles."

"Tsui—the other guard?" asked Lia. "He's dead?"

"They killed him. The Foot – they were pissed off big time. In their eyes Tsui and me committed a capitol crime. Even Yurikiki did herself in. And you know what? That's all your fault. You tricked us, and you let those monsters loose. So here's the thing, babe. You owe me. You owe Tsui."

Lia took another step back. "What do you want?"

"I want your word you won't tell them who I am."

"Why on earth did you tell me?"

" 'Cause you'd have figured it out. The way you kept looking at me, I was sure you already had. And I couldn't take that chance. It's weird, 'cause in one way I'm safer with them than anywhere else with the Foot after me. But if they knew who I was, I'd be dead in a New York minute." Jake looked quickly back down the hill again, still nervous.

"I can't do that -_ not _tell them? They're my friends."

"No!" Jake hissed. "They're _not_ your friends! They're not anybody's friends! They're killers running loose! Listen babe, you wanna know why the Foot came to recruit me? You know why they thought I'd want to join?"

"Why?"

"Because last winter the turtles killed my father."

"Oh my god…"

"Yeah, that's right. It was a huge battle; the same one Oroku Saki died in. The Foot told me my father was a member of the Elite guard. In fact, he was killed by the same one that killed Saki. The turtles killed my father, and twenty-eight others. Hell, they killed two more men just the other night. They would kill me, and they could just as easily kill you, if they thought they needed to, so don't kid yourself. And the thing is..." Jake leaned closer to her, his eyes dark." The thing is, they started all this. They came after the Foot unprovoked. This war is their deal, the Foot weren't looking for any trouble."

"That's not what they told me..." said Lia.

"Yeah. I'm sure it wasn't."

Lia swallowed. Jake was scaring her now.

"So, here's the deal. Not a word to them; those turtle things, or anyone else. If you tell them, I'm dead, and that's on you. All I want is to get far enough out of town, and I'm gone. Just don't blow this for me. I'm not interested in hurting anyone. I just want to get away from this whole stinking mess; the Foot, those turtles, all of it."

"So you …you _do_ know why the Foot were after you."

"No shit. They almost caught me twice. Once on the street, and then at that chick's place."

"Wait—whose place?"

"Sean's friend. That was a bummer about her."

"Sunni…?"

"Yeah."

"The Foot followed _you_ there."

"Yeah. We barely got out."

Lia drew a hand over her brow. "It was you…Raph thinks -"

"_Don't_ _tell anyone_! They _will_ kill me. They'll see just another Foot soldier. Listen, if nothing else, even if you don't feel any loyalty to your own species, you owe me this for letting you stand guard and free them. _Please!" _Jake looked around again, fear in his eyes. "All I want is to get away. Maybe the Foot won't hurt my Mom as long as I'm nowhere around. She's probably safe as long as she doesn't know where I am. Please!"

"Jake, I…" Lia's head was spinning.

"Look, Lia Ana Skylord, my life is in your hands. Don't blow this for me." Jake turned and loped back down the hill.

Lia slipped back into the trailer as Rose was waking up, her mind racing. No one else was in there, so she had a moment to think. They wouldn't do that, right? Kill an unarmed, frightened boy? That's crazy. And she had to tell them quickly.

"I'n hung'y," Rose announced. "I gotta go potty."

Taking Rose to the restroom gave Lia a few more moments to weigh things out. If Jake was so afraid of the turtles, why didn't he just leave? They were out of the U.S. now, this would be a good time to take off. Unless he thought the Foot were still chasing him. Unless he knew that.

And what would the turtles do to him? Maybe she should talk to April first. Or at least approach Mike or Don first? She frowned at the thought. Did she trust really Leo any less? Trust him to what? Not react with violence? _Oh, great. Now I'm trying to make the decision for them…_She washed Rose's little hands, and then washed her face in the cool concrete bunker of a restroom. _Ok, I can't do this. I just have to tell them, tell whomever I see first. I can't try and second-guess them. I can't…_

_I can't let that poor kid get killed just because he loved his father!_

Casey's shrill whistle was sounding as she walked Rose back outside, calling the stragglers in. The parking lot was empty once again.

"Hey! Yo! Let's roll guys!" Casey bellowed from under the hood of the Chevy. Grinning, he wiped the dip stick on a rag and gestured to Lia as she approached. "Go on, get in! Let's get outta here while we got a chance."

April was laying a folded blanket in the trunk. "They made it! They're here!" she beamed as Lia joined her.

"I know, I talked to Leo," said Lia. "I think I'd like to ride in the trailer, if that's ok."

Rose was tugging on Lia's hand. "I wanna see my turtles!" she urged.

"Fine with me, " said April. She regarded Lia with a curious expression. "You ok?" she asked.

"Me? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Little distracted. Ok, ok, Rose. We'll go find your turtles." Lia shrugged, pleased that Rose had backed her up so conveniently.

"Ok, catch ya at the next stop," April said.

As she turned, Lia caught sight of Jake in the back seat, twisted around watching her, a look of desperate pleading on his face.

"Oh, dear Goddess, let me do the right thing," Lia prayed, heading for the trailer.

Donatello quietly slid in the door, followed by Leonardo and Splinter. Moments later Mike and Raphael came tumbling in, laughing.

Don stuck his out the door and shouted "We're all here!" and there came the grumble of the engine as Casey fired up the Chevy.

Lia sat on the edge of the bunk opposite Splinter and lifted Rose into her lap, her heart pounding. She looked at Leo where he leaned against the sink, and bit her lip. He smiled, and then frowned a little, a question in his eyes.

_How do I say this?_

As they began to roll, Don lifted himself back up to his perch, and Raphael moved to the front and stood over Lia, resting an arm on Don's overhead bunk.

"Hey, Raph! Boy, its good to see y-," she smiled up at him, and then stopped, seeing his expression.

"So what did he say to you?" asked Raphael.

"Who?"

"That kid. The Jake kid. I saw him talking to you. What did he say?"

Lia gulped. She stroked Rose's hair, and looked around. "Ok, you guys, this is probably really—um, well, the thing is, it looks like we've managed to bring along a former Foot clan member on this trip…"

"A WHAT?" they shouted. "_Who?_"

"Jake—he told me he was one of the guards at the cathedral—one of the Foot I convinced to leave his post so I could-"

Leonardo was aghast. "We've got a Foot soldier riding in the car with April and Casey? How long have you known this?" Leo pulled away from the sink, looking from Lia to Splinter and up to Don.

"Ten minutes, Leo, ok? He just told me and I've been freaking out wondering what to do- -"

"Telling us would've been a real good first move!" snapped Raphael. He looked at Don who had turned and was frantically knocking on the small window, trying to get Casey's attention. They were already pulling out onto the frontage road on their way to the open highway.

"I was going to- ok? Whose side do you think I'm on?"

"Beats me!"

"I just didn't want anyone to get hurt!" Lia snapped right back at him. "Raph, don't yell at me!"

"Lia," said Leonardo quietly. "There is no such thing as a _former_ Foot member. He's Foot, because if he was at one time, and now isn't, he'd be dead."

"Well, isn't that what they were trying to do? Leo,don't be mad …"

"I'm not. I just don't understand."

"There's nothing to understand, I was going to tell you."

"Yeah? When?" demanded Raphael. "Before or after he slits our throats?"

"Now! I was just about to! They were trying to kill him because they thought he'd betrayed the Foot by letting me release you guys—he's not part of them anymore! He's just a scared kid!"

"Why are you so determined to defend this guy?" asked Donatello from above her.

"I'm not defending—I'm just- oh, never mind." Lia covered her face with a hand, too angry to speak for a moment. Rose slid off her lap and climbed back up on the bunk next to her, watching, wide-eyed.

Michaelangelo had been looking at Lia dumbfounded. Rendering Mike speechless was quite an accomplishment, she realized.

"So, like, you thought we'd hurt him, if we knew?" Mike asked.

"I guess. I don't know. He sure thought so. He was so scared, he was begging me not to tell you. He was sure you would kill him."

"Yeah, well, he's a good guesser, then," said Raphael. "What the hell is a Foot doin' tagging along with us? Did he tell ya that?"

"He thinks he's safe from the Foot if he's with you guys. But he's scared to death of you. Raph, you can't-"

"Anyone else catch the irony in this?" asked Don over his shoulder as he continued to wave and rap on the overhead window.

"Yeah, " said Lia, looking up. "And he's not a 'Foot'. He's a scared kid. And they are not 'Foot', like they're not people or something. They are people. They're fathers and sons and frightened moms in Amherst..."

"Lia," said Leonardo. "I know what you're trying to say, but we can't afford to think like that. If we were ever to stop and think like that, it would be over for us."

Lia wanted to tell him about Jake's father. She wanted to make the point. She looked into those clear, light eyes and couldn't. It seemed hurtful, like winning the argument, the argument she had only an hour before decided she would never have, was not worth the price.

Splinter finally spoke. "It would seem that as long as this young man is not aware we know his secret, the opportunity exists to observe his actions and determine if he truly does or does not pose a threat." Splinter's eyes narrowed. "I overheard the conversation between Jake and Lia and I sense no ill intention on his part, only fear. I have for some time felt he was not who he claimed to be. We have the advantage, let us use this." He set his stick against the floor with an attitude of finality.

Leo lowered his eyes, turning to Splinter. "Then we will tell April and Casey as soon as we stop somewhere, Master?"

Splinter nodded, and Leo dropped his head in an small bow.

"Splinter," began Raphael. "Do you think it's a good idea to let him-?"

"I do," said Splinter.

Raphael exhaled sharply, but said nothing more.

"You overheard the conversation?" Lia asked Splinter, trying to remember everything she had said to him.

"I did," said Splinter and in a softer tone added. "I was concealed in the thicket behind you."

"Well, I'm really relieved that someone had been nearby, " Lia looked gratefully at Splinter. At least it seemed he was on her side. "See you guys? You can trust me. I'm not stupid-"

"It's not a matter of not trusting you," said Leo, turning back to her. "I don't have any doubts about your intentions, Lia. I think that your judgement sometimes gets clouded- "

"My _judgement-_ ?" she bit down on the anger.

"And I think that's just because you care too much. About everyone."

"But Splinter just said the same thing!" Lia yelped.

"Splinter is in a position to make that decision . You aren't," said Leo flatly.

Lia opened her mouth, in astonished anger. She couldn't form the words to reply.

Behind Leo, Raphael snorted in what might have been agreement. Michaelangelo nodded.

"Mommy, I'm hungry," said Rose.

Lia tore her eyes away from Leo's, trying not to shake, and focusing on the two-year old. _Let it go, Lia. You're not going to win against all of them._ "Ok, Rosie, let's see what's in the cabinet here. I think there's some crackers." She started to stand, Leo taking a step back, when Donatellos' body slid heavily off the upper bunk, landing on both of them and nearly knocking Lia down.

"Don!" Leo and Raph caught him, lowering him to the rumbling floor. Donatello shuddered and moaned, his eyes shut tightly, hands clamped over his ears. Blood seeped between his white-knuckled fingers

"What the hell-!" cried Raph, as Mike knelt to join them.

"Get back, give him room!" ordered Leo. Lia scooped up Rose and tucked her legs back up on the lower bunk, out of the way. "_Don! What is it?_" Leo cried.

"This is what I spoke of earlier, Leonardo," said Splinter, his tone one of deliberate calm. He rested one hand feather soft on Don's shoulder. "There is no warning to these."

They watched helplessly as Donatello writhed in agony from the attack of his unseen assailant. He bared his teeth and foam flecked his mouth as he rolled, it seemed trying to escape his own body. He didn't cry out this time, though, as if to keep the battle contained, and his alone. It was fifteen minutes before the shaking subsided and Don was able to open his eyes. It was another five before he was able to speak.


	11. Chapter 11

_The Journey Home_

**Chapter Eleven**

* * *

Michael row your boat ashore Hallelujah

Michael row your boat ashore Hallelujah

River Jordan is chilly and wide Hallelujah

Milk and honey on the other side Hallelujah

Their voices floated gently on the cooling night air, over the low crackle of the campfire. Two sweet, high, female voices harmonizing, and several lower male voices, most of them slipping uncertainly in and out of key, they sounded almost like a large family, or a small church group, enjoying a carefree camp out. In the shadows of the twilight forest they almost looked it, too.

The spot they had made camp was a full day's drive further north, across the St. Lawrence River and deep into Quebec. They found themselves well off the beaten path, down a narrow gravel road that ran parallel to a rushing stream, then climbed into a thickly forested range of low mountains. The discovery was serendipitous. They had been turned away at two other campgrounds because they had been full. This one was small, and undeveloped, which meant while there were very few other campers, there were no showers or bathrooms. A collective grumbling of protest had arisen, the most vocal being April and Raphael. Casey had to promise that the next stop would have running water.

"_Hot_ running water!" Raph had insisted.

"And maybe a Laundromat?" Lia had added, and then shrugged. "I'm running out of clothes. This whole trip has been a little hard on my wardrobe. Alex got one set, the NYPD got another. Plus my jacket and boots… "

"So what's the problem?" Raphael had asked. "Dress like us why not?"

"Har har," Lia had shot back. It was certainly getting easier.

April and Casey had been secretly apprised of the situation with Jake, and sworn to silence after Casey's initial suggestion that they simply throw him out at the closest off ramp. "Hey, I'll even slow down to 50," he grinned. Splinter's decision prevailed, however, and Jake remained in their company, still unaware that everyone knew his dark secret.

Jake and Sean's introduction to Splinter had proven to be anticlimactic. Both had greeted the aging sensei with good manners and a surprising lack of shock. Jake had even bowed with appropriate respect. It was only afterwards that the turtles realized that naturally Jake would have known of Splinter's existence, because the Foot would have told him, and so was somewhat prepared to meet him.

"Well, he was certainly polite," commented Donatello when the four had a moment alone to confer.

"Kiss ass," pronounced Raphael.

"Or covering his ass," said Mike.

"He doesn't know we know," Leo pointed out. "Raph, please try to be cool."

"I _am_ bein' cool! When was I not bein' cool? Jeez, Leo!"

"It's just that we've got a much better chance of finding out what his motives are, if they're anything different from what he says, if we don't tip our hand here."

"I'm not tipping my frickin' hand, ok?"

"I think I smell food," said Mike. "I bet the girls could use some help. Raph, you wanna check out what's cookin'?"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." Raphael allowed himself to be redirected toward campfire. As they were walking Mike stuck foot between Raphael's. Raph sidestepped to avoid tripping and grabbed Mike by the carapace. The two went down, rolling in the fine dirt and pine needles and knocking into the wooden picnic table, snarling and laughing, until Mike, still laughing but clutching his sides, cried "Uncle!".

Raph helped him up, growling. "What the hell'd ya do that for Mike? Mister No-My- Four-Cracked-Ribs-Feel-Fine! I coulda hurt you! Jeez…"

"Yeah, you'd like to _think_ you coulda hurt me!"

Leo had watched them for a moment and then turned to Don. "You feeling ok now, Don?"

"Yeah, Leo. I'm ok now. Kinda tired. I wish I knew what was causing it. I'm not even drinking coffee now. Really weird."

"Don, Splinter said before you had talked about some kind of voice, like someone talking to you while it was happening."

Don looked down and scratched his beak. "I don't know, Leo. I think maybe I was hallucinating that."

"Did you hear it this last time?"

Don frowned.

"Don?"

"Yeah." He looked up. "Yeah. I did. But it's not exactly like a voice. It's more like a thought. I don't know. I think it might be my own mind, trying to think of some way to make it stop. Why?"

Leo took a long breath. "Because I thought I felt something...something weird in the trailer with us, when it was happening, when you were on the floor."

Don shuddered. "You're giving me the creeps."

"Gave me the creeps, too."

It was after a huge meal of campfire baked beans and more roasted corn that Michaelangelo had gone rummaging for his radio, finding instead Lia's guitar and placing it in her hands. They gathered around the low-burning campfire, sitting on their bedrolls and blankets, faces lit by the flickering light, shadows dancing in the trees around them. Raphael hung back, close to Casey, as though he needed someone else to help bolster his own reluctance to participate. His negativity had little effect on everyone else though. The mood was as close to light-hearted as it had been in four days.

"You know anything by Metallica?" asked Casey, grinning mischievously.

"Um…no, not exactly," said Lia, tuning the guitar. "My mom taught me mostly a bunch of folk songs."

As it turned out, both Lia and April had been put through the rigors of Summer Vacation Day Camp, during their childhood, and had learned many of the same songs. They were delighted at the discovery and it only seemed fair to subject everyone present to some of them now.

Lia was especially awed to find someone else who knew all the words to "Green Grow the Rushes", an add-on song like the "Twelve Days of Christmas". By the twelfth verse almost everyone had it together.

Twelve for the twelve apostles,

Eleven for the eleven who went to Heaven

Ten for the Ten Commandments.

Nine for the nine bright shiners,

And eight for the April rainers.

Seven for the seven stars in the sky,

And six for the six proud walkers.

Five for the cymbals at your door,

And four for the Gospel makers.

Three, three, the ri-i-vals! (boom boom boom!)

Two, two, lily white boys,

Clothe them all in Green-oh!

One is One and all alone

And never more shall be it so!

"Alright!" enthused Mike, as Rose, sitting in his lap, clapped happily.

"Whew!" breathed Dodger Sean.

"Let's not sing that one again, ok?" asked Leo.

Donatello frowned and raised a hand. "How come only eleven of the twelve apostles went to Heaven?"

"Oh, that was Judas Iscariot," explained Lia. "He betrayed Jesus with a kiss, which actually, he was supposed to do, but then he went and hung himself."

"The damning offense was that he hung himself, was it not?" asked Splinter.

"Yes."

"Hm," said Leonardo.

"That would seem unjust," said Splinter, thoughtfully stroking his chin whiskers. "For it seems that hanging himself, taking his own life, was Judas' only hope of regaining honor after betraying his Master."

"Well," said April. "If you're raised Catholic, suicide is a cardinal sin."

Lia nodded. "That's what I was taught. You kill yourself you go straight to Hell. Do not pass go, do not collect $200."

"Gee," said Mike. "Bummer."

"Especially about the $200," quipped Sean.

"I've read that. But it does seem like a weird rule," said Leo. "Do either of you believe that?"

April shook her head. "No, I don't believe in Hell anymore at all. I think we create our own private hells right here on earth. And what happens after we die is anyone's guess."

"I'd like to say I don't really believe in Hell anymore, either," said Lia. "I don't want to. But some of the things I've seen…some of the things Alex showed me..." Lia shivered. "I don't know. Sometimes it seemed like he would open the gates of Hell, just to see how close to the fire he could stand. Just to defy it, like a power trip."

"You seem to call on a Goddess, Lia," said Donatello. "Is that something Alex taught you?"

"Oh, goodness, no. Alex's God, whatever It really is to him, is totally male. It was Belladonna who taught that the creative life force on this planet is feminine. She and her people believe that the Earth itself is female. The highest, divine energy, at the Universal level, is genderless, but here, the Earth is our Mother." Lia absently strummed a chord and turned a key, re-tuning. "The idea of the Goddess, you know, like a nurturing, mother kind of being, just seems more accessible than the Biblical God."

"Was that not in part, the purpose of Jesus' mission?" asked Splinter. "To provide an accessible pathway to God?"

April smiled, glanced over at Casey who was staring vacantly into the fire. "I believe you're right, Splinter" she said. She gave Casey a friendly poke in the ribs. "Wake up!" she giggled at him.

"Are you Christian, Splinter?" asked Lia, thinking that nothing would surprise her at this point.

"No, child. I believe that there are truths, which though spoken in different words, are common to the teachings of both Jesus and the Buddha. I have studied both and find few fundamental contradictions."

"Compassion, harmlessness," nodded Donatello.

"Yeah, right," said Raphael, who was apparently paying more attention than he had let on. "And ya get packed off to Hell for making the honorable decision. That's compassionate, alright."

"I think the idea of that law was to show that all life is sacred. At least, that's what I get out of it," said Lia. She glanced over at Leo. His head was down; he now appeared lost in thought himself. Before she could think twice or stop herself, she asked, "What, Leo?"

"What?" he echoed, looking up.

"What are you thinking?"

"I was, uh, thinking about what you said about creating our own private hells."

"That was me," said April. "I was actually thinking about something Splinter had said months ago, about all life being suffering, and how we do it to ourselves."

"Yeah, well, I agree," said Leo. "I think we do…create our own hell. That's all."

"So, hey, Lia," broke in Michaelangelo. "We did the Casey Jones song for Case, and the row boat for me, ya got any songs for any for anyone else?"

"Well…hmm," Lia strummed another chord. "How about…" she sang,

"_Leo-nardo…_", to the opening notes of _Desperado_. "Oh, no wait. This is really Raphael's song," she grinned.

Desperado, why don't' you come to your senses?

You've been out riding fences for so long now.

Oh, you're a hard one

And you've to your reasons.

But these things that are pleasing you

_Will hurt you somehow._

Raphael groaned and sank back as most everyone else sang along, stumbling over the lyrics a bit, but generally enjoying taking friendly poke at their resident bad boy. Lia was absorbed in leading the others and following April's harmony. They got to the last verse:

It may be rainin' but there's rainbow above you.

You better let somebody love you

Let somebody love you,

Before it's to-o-oo late—

"_Damn_!" Raphael cried abruptly, stepped back and took off into the woods.

Lia froze, as everyone stopped, looking startled. "Oh, no..." she whispered, realizing what she had just said. "Oh, god, I'm an idiot."

Mike was starting to stand. "It's ok. I'll get him."

"No, I have to. This is my fault. How could I be so stupid." Lia set her guitar down.

"Oh, none of us was thinking," April glanced around. "It wasn't just you. Poor Raph-"

"Maybe you should let him have some space," suggested Casey.

"I don't think you'll be able to find him anyway, Lia," said Leonardo.

Lia stood and gestured uncertainly. "I picked that song. That was so stupid and insensitive of me—I have to try and talk to him." She looked around for some support in the faces around the campfire. "If he doesn't want to be found, you're right, I won't be able to anyway."

Splinter's eyes glittered in the firelight. "Lia, you must do what you feel is right."

Lia nodded and, pulling an oversized, borrowed sweater around her, headed off in the direction Raphael had fled.

Leo was on his feet. "Splinter, she shouldn't go by herself. We don't know who or what may have.."

"You are quite correct, Leonardo," agreed Splinter. He turned his head. "Donatello, please follow her."

Don rose, took up his bo and gave Splinter a quick bow before disappearing into the dark forest. Leonardo quietly sat back down, cross-legged again.

"Um…" began Sean. "Am I the only one who doesn't know what's going on?"

"It's a long story, dude," said Mike. "Hey, anyone want to try and sing a capella?"

She found him with no trouble. The waxing moon lit the narrow path he had taken well enough she could make out every tree and limb. He was sitting on a low stump at the edge of the footpath, staring into the woods. His mask was pulled down around his neck, both sai thrust in the back of his belt. The moonlight shone on his carapace. It certainly did not seem he was trying to hide.

"Raph?" she said, knowing he had heard her approach long before she had seen him. "Raphael, I am so sorry…um…Raph?"

He didn't move or in any way acknowledge her presence.

"Look," she said. "If you want me to leave I will…I just…I'm so sor-"

"Get out of here."

She sucked in a breath, throat tightening. It felt like a slap. She started to back away.

"No. Hold on."

She stopped, watching his back.

"Stay here."

Lia stepped forward again. "Can I sit with you?"

He didn't look up, but made a small, low sound that Lia decided meant 'yes'.

Lia sat next to him on the edge of his wide, short, tree stump. She cleared her throat and began again. "Raphael, listen, I am so sorry about that song. I just wasn't thinking-"

"Lia, don't do that."

"I'm just trying to— I did something really stupid, and I'm sorry, and I'm trying to make it right."

"Well, you can't make it right, so forget about it."

"I just want you to know, I didn't mean to-"

"I know that."

Lia sighed. "Is there anything I can do?"

"No."

She crossed her arms and hunched over. The cold was creeping in through her jeans and the loose knit sweater of April's. They sat silent for a while, the sounds of the forest's night stillness around them. Far off a night bird cried.

The silence finally becoming too uncomfortable for Lia. "Raphael, I wish there was something…I know you said there isn't, but sometimes I think you want me to second guess you, and I'm groping in the dark for the answer and you really know what it is, so if there is something, can you just tell me what you want?"

A small, hard, smile twisted his mouth, though he still stared out into the darkness. "You said it in that song. The things that I can't get."

Lia took a deep breath. "Raph, about Sunni..."

"I do _not_ want to talk about that!"

"There is something I've been meaning to tell you. There's something you need to know."

"What?"

"About Sunni-"

"No!"

"You need to hear this."

"Gah!" Raphael dropped his head into his arms. "Why the hell does everyone think I need to hear something?"

"It wasn't your fault."

"Great. Go tell Leo."

"No, listen. The Foot didn't follow you to Sunni's place that night. They were following Sean and Jake. Jake told me, and I checked it out with Sean, he told me exactly what happened. Raph, the Foot probably never even knew you were there. I mean, if they did, wouldn't they have come after you?" Lia laid her hand on his arm. "They were after Jake and Sean. It wasn't your fault."

Raphael was very quiet. After a moment he raised his head, swallowing hard. He took in a long breath.

"They both told me," Lia went on. "They were sleeping there when the Foot broke in. They escaped out the window."

Raphael straightened up. "And they left her there? Those little shits took off and-" Raphael moved as though to stand. "I oughta-"

"No!" Lia grabbed his hand. "Wait! Listen! They tried to get her to come with them. Sean said Sunni went back with a baseball bat to try and hold them off! Raph, it wasn't anyone's fault!"

"A _baseball bat_?" Some of the tension deflated from Raphael's body. He closed his eyes. "A baseball bat…" he repeated and took a long shuddering breath. Raph shook his head. "Sounds like her…sounds about right…." He looked up, glancing over his shoulder in the direction of the camp. "I still oughta kill 'em both."

Lia tightened her grip on his hand, and gave him a warning look.

Raphael looked down at Lia's fingers gripped around his and with some difficulty, suppressed a grin. "And you're going to stop me with this little bitty hand of yours, huh?"

"Uh, well, no…I guess not."

"So, then, why are you still holding my hand?"

Lia shrugged, and started to let go as Raphael closed his large hand around hers.

"Um…" she began.

"Shh. It's ok."

Lia swallowed.

"So how come you didn't tell me until now?" Raph asked, his expression serious but revealing nothing of what he might be feeling.

"I only found out yesterday. And I guess I wanted a chance to get you alone to tell you."

"You have me alone now."

"Yeah, so…so I told you." Part of her mind nervously wondered what he was up to now. The other part considered the emotional roller coaster ride he had already taken her on in the space of just fifteen minutes. She decided it would be a good idea to keep him talking. "And besides that, Leo had just told me that you blamed yourself for what happened."

Raphael snorted. "Yeah. Leo. The all-knowing."

"What do you mean?"

"Mmh, well, Leo told me not to get involved in the first place. He said something bad would happen. But Leo's dead set against any of us getting involved with humans...with girls…that way…anyway."

"He is?"

"Yeah. He thinks it's wrong."

"He does?"

"Yeah, you know. Leo's weird. He doesn't seem to have any, you know...needs."

"He doesn't?"

"No. I've seen him just walk away from opportunities…just like, he doesn't care. Or he's just so sure it's wrong, that he can do that. Which is fine, for him. But he expects the rest of us to follow his lead, and that's… that's not reasonable."

"Oh," said Lia. She looked down, her eyes falling on her hand, still held in Raphael's and resting against the hard muscles of his leg.

"What about you?" he asked.

"What- what about me?" Her heart thudded.

A teasing smile deepened the creases in his cheeks. "You have needs?"

"Um…" Lia brought her free hand to her brow. "I…"

"Come on, Lia. You gonna tell me you can't feel this? It's been there since that first day in the dojo. You know what I'm talking about."

_The worst thing is_, _I know exactly what you're talking about_.

She said nothing.

"Lia…."

"Raph, I... ok, there is something that seems to happen …"

"Yeah, I thought so." He gently brought her hand closer into him, curling his arm around hers, capturing it, and pressing her hand against his breastplate. He pulled her close so they were face to face, eye to eye. Lia lowered her gaze, fixed her eyes on the curving bulge of his biceps. She felt herself shake.

He slipped his arm around her.

"Raph, I can't…"

"Shh."

Before Raphael's mouth could touch hers, she ducked her head abruptly and turned away.

"Raph, please...I can't…"

"I'm that bad, huh?" he asked, letting her go.

"No, no…that's not it."

"So what do you see here? The ugly green freak?"

"No-" Lia brought a hand to her eyes. "That's not it at all. It's not you, Raph, really. I never thought you guys were ugly. Please believe me. It's me. I just…can't. It's too soon…"

"Too soon?"

"Yes. Too soon after…all that stuff…"

"All that stuff? You mean this is about your old man?" Raphael frowned.

"Yeah. I think so. It just…I feel weird. I don't think I'm ready…"

Raphael sighed. "He hurt you pretty bad, didn't he?"

Lia shrugged, one hand fluttering to chase the thought away.

"I'm not like that."

"I know…it's just me."

"Ok." Raphael ran a tongue over his mouth, watching her, taking measure once again. "Will you do me a favor?"

"What's that?"

"When you're ready, you tell me, ok?"

Lia watched his eyes, their clear, almost colorless gray, catching the moonlight. She nodded. She had told the truth about feeling weird. Now she was pretty sure she was lying. And she didn't know, just then, what else to do.

"Hey, um, it's getting cold," she said, though she was actually feeling far warmer than the night air around them. "You wanna come back with me to the fire?"

He shook his head. "No. You go if you're cold. I'll be back later."

"Aren't you cold?"

"Used to it. You go on."

"Ok." Lia stood, and touched his shoulder lightly. "I'll see you back there."

"Yeah." He turned and called after her. "And hey, Lia! Take Donnie with you!"

* * *

"So that's it?" asked Casey.

"Yeah, that's all that we know," said Leonardo.

Casey ran his hand over his face, rubbing his eyes. "Damn. No wonder you didn't want to tell the girls." He glanced back over the fire, and the ring of sleeping bags and bedrolls around it. The four turtles, Splinter, and Casey were holding their hushed conference on the far side of the camper trailer. "We should probably leave it at that."

Splinter, sitting on the picnic table nodded. "I believe Leonardo and Raphael made the right decision. There is no reason to upset either of them unnecessarily."

Donatello scratched his head. "There were no logos, nothing to identify what agency, or what branch of the military, or what-?"

"Nothing," said Raphael. "At first we thought it was just more cops looking for Lia. 'Til they broke out all the scientific equipment."

Michaelangelo fidgeted a little and scratched his head. "Ok, I can sorta see not telling April. She might freak and feel she was having some nightmare flashback. Though we're gonna have to tell her eventually. Guess we'll let ol' Casey handle that," he gave Casey a cheerful punch in the arm.

Casey rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"But why", Mike went on, "are we not telling Lia?"

"Well, the thing is," said Leonardo. "These people who raided the house after you split probably did so because they had been tipped off by the police who were there the night before. They must have told someone that there was something weird going on there. Maybe they found the photo album, or something. Anyway we thought that Lia would assume that the whole raid was her fault since the police were originally looking for her."

"You thought," corrected Raphael.

Leo shrugged.

"It is a reasonable assumption," said Splinter. "In any event, for the sake of simplicity, for now, let us keep this between just the six of us."

"Ok," said Casey. "Now, just so I'm clear on this. We are illegally transporting a seventeen-year-old girl who's wanted for murder across the country. We got one Foot soldier along for the ride, maybe a few others chasin' him, and some scientific wingnuts with expensive equipment breakin' into my house lookin' for you guys. Did I leave anything out?"

"I think that's about it," said Raphael.

"Sounds like fun," Casey's maniacal grin was back. "Who's got next watch?"

"I do," said Don.

"Hey, guys?" asked Mike. "Did you happen to see Klunk after those people got there? I know April was going to call Mrs. Davis…"

Raph shook his head. "No, sorry, Mike. But you know him. He's a tough little guy. I'm sure he ran and hid."

"I hope they didn't catch him…"

"What are they gonna do? Interrogate him?" Don patted Mike's arm. "Don't worry. He's been through worse. He'll be fine."

* * *

Morning sun. Getting very warm. Flies buzzing. Warm hay smell. Something tickled his ear and he twitched it. Lovely warm….

Car sound. Dust smell. He opened his eyes and looked down at the driveway below from his hay loft perch. Not his car. Not his Two-Legs. Some other Two-Leg. He watched, slotting his eyes against the early morning brilliance. He shook his head. Something still tickled his ear. He sat up, yawned, stretched and licked a spot on his left flank. The Two-Leg was getting out of the car. Car smelled bad, smoky. He didn't like the smell of smoke. Smoke smelled like fear. Fire. Blood. Like Two-Legs fighting.

He watched as the Two-Leg went up onto the farmhouse porch and opened the front door and went in.

Food?

She came back out a moment later. "Kitty-kitty- kitty-kitty-kitty!" she called. "Here, kitty- kitty-kitty-kitty-kitty!"

He watched as she circled the farmhouse, calling. She was interesting to watch. White hair on her head. That was different. She moved slowly, her shapeless, pastel colored clothing billowing in the breeze. "Here kitty-kitty-kitty-kitty!" she called again.

He flicked the tip of his tail.

She stepped onto the porch again and looking around, called one more time in a somewhat harsher tone, "Kitty-kitty-kitty-kitty—oh, never mind!" She locked the front door up, got back into the bad smoke–smelling car and drove off.

He stood, stretching luxuriously again, and trotted down the ramp, leaping gracefully to the barn floor and ran out and across the open space to the farmhouse. He happily bounded around to the back porch door, and slipped in his small private entrance to the kitchen.

Sure enough. Food.

* * *

Lia watched as the sun lit golden the very tops of the fir trees far above her. The sky was the color of pearl. She was still tucked in the sleeping bag, only her eyes peeking out from her shelter of unkempt hair and rip-stop nylon.

She hadn't slept all night.

After hours of playing over and over again in her mind what had happened with Raphael, and what he had said about Leo, sometime around three in the morning it struck her, perhaps harder than ever before, that somehow the choices she had made, the things she had done, had marked her for life. She felt dirty, wrong, and ashamed. Ashamed for all the things she had allowed Alex to do to her. Ashamed she had freaked out when Raph had only tried to kiss her. Ashamed that he thought he could do that. Ashamed for what she was feeling.

That couldn't have meant anything to him. Not so soon after his girlfriend was killed. He would've used me, and I almost let him.

_I'm a wreck. Who would ever want a wreck?_

It was one thing to recognize that she would probably never want to be with another man as long as she lived.

It was quite another to understand that maybe someone she cared deeply for, wouldn't ever want her anyway.

It just hurt. That was all. It just hurt.

Someone was stirring, rustling in his bedroll. Someone else coughed and cleared his throat. Lia balled herself up and scrunched further down in the sleeping bag. No one needed to see her puffy-faced and red-eyed. Maybe she could just stay in bed all day.

"Mommy?"

Well, that was the end of that little fantasy.

_Grow up, Lia. Get off the pity pot. Someone needs you._

She poked her head out. "Hey, Sweetie, here I am. You hungry, Rosie?"

* * *

Donatello sat on a rocky formation overlooking a narrow ravine. It was the highest place, other than the treetops, where he could sit and think. Don liked heights, he liked the limitless feeling of nothing but sky above him. He needed the quiet and the open space, away from his brothers and their dramas, to think about what was going on. He also recognized, now that he had gotten away, he was very resistant to thinking about the very thing he had wanted to work on.

Who _wants_ to think about blinding headaches and strangely seductive voices in his head when there are so many more interesting things to think about?

So he was thinking about wave-formation and function and its duel nature as both a physical predictor about the nature of matter, and it's existence in the realm of thought alone. He was also pursuing a line of thought that the unfolding of their lives was much like a waveform, with periods of greater and lesser activity. He wondered if the last program he had been playing with back in the lair could be used to predict periods of time when the levels of activity and intensity he and his family experienced would increase. If it was largely predictable on the basis of time elapsed, then how many other factors would he have to vector into the formula? He wondered how much his expectation of the outcome would influence the result, having found his own theories proved out at an alarmingly high and statistically unrealistic rate, and then he wondered if a formula for predicting the probability of his own expectations and their influence on outcome could be formulated and was it Bohr or Max Born who addressed that? Donatello bookmarked the thought so he would remember to go through the books he'd brought to see if he could find that reference.

The wind was shifting, the warmth of the early afternoon air took a chill and the sunshine was blotted out for a moment. Don glanced skyward. Dark clouds were forming over the ridge to the far west, and an advance line of smaller white cumulous were scudding overhead as the breeze picked up. Change in the weather, thought Don. I bet everyone is going to be sorry they decided not to leave until late afternoon. Smells like thundershowers. A stronger wind whipped at the tails of the mask he pulled down around his neck. The air smelled sharper of ozone and electricity. Miles away, the faint rumble of the coming storm could be heard.

Donatello liked electrical storms for the same reasons he liked high places. He liked the wind, and the sense of the air like a living thing, crackling and snorting in response to the movement of tiny charged particles. Storms cleared his head, left him invigorated.

The light shifted, reversed, as the afternoon sun took on a strange golden caste, reflecting against the darkening clouds. Donatello stood up on his perch and let the wind catch him full in the face. It whistled over his ears, and tugged harder on the ends of his mask. The next rush buffeted his whole body, and he stood fast against it, grinning. The first hard splats of rain hit his nose as a roll of thunder echoed through the valley, much closer. He knew the with the next crack of thunder the skies would open up and he would be drenched, but it seemed worth it, to watch this display of the elements crashing together in such orchestrated chaos.

The blackened sky lit up with the crazy zig-zag of a lightening bolt. As the air was ripped by the crashing thunder, and the rain pelted down in great cold drops, a second deafening crash exploded in Donatello's head. He grabbed at his head, mouth ajar, eyes bulging, gasping at the pain. Donatello staggered, caught himself, and lost his footing. As the world plunged into a black abyss of pounding agony, he plunged off the edge of the rocky cliff.

Music Lyric Credits: _Michael Row Your Boat Ashore_- traditional, _Green Grow the Rushes_-traditional, _Desperado_- Don Henley and Glen Frey


	12. Chapter 12

_The Journey Home_

**Chapter Twelve**

* * *

"Where's Don?" asked April. She clutched the side of the small counter as the wind rocked the trailer and the rain furiously pelted the top.

"He wandered off a couple of hours ago," said Mike. "He looked like he was lost in Donnie Brain Child Land."

"Prob'ly hiding out under somethin'," said Casey, wiping his eyes with a towel, and hanging onto the door latch. "If he's even noticed the storm."

"Fer someone who's s'posed to be so smart, you'd think he'd have the sense to come in outta the rain," agreed Raphael.

Michaelangelo held his temples and grimaced. "Do thunder storms give anyone else a headache?"

Every time the thunder cracked and reverberated off the surrounding valleys, Rose shrank down into Lia's lap, hiding her face. The sound of the rain pummeling the tin roof was nearly as deafening as the thunder and the wind. Next to her on the lower bunk, Splinter was silent, his nose upward, his attention on something in the air. Lia glanced over at him and despite the dimness of the light offered by the small single bulb, could see the look of concentration on his face. She was fairly sure he was not merely catching the scent of all the bodies crushed together in the humid little space of the trailer. Splinter looked meaningfully at Leonardo, who stood pressed between April and Raphael. Leonardo's expression was a mask to all but Splinter.

"Hey, Mike, you ok?" asked Raphael, though his voice was drowned by the next crash of thunder. "You used to be scared of the lightening. Now what's up with this?"

"I dunno," Mike held his head and leaned against the opposite wall. "Maybe air pressure changes or somethin'. Don could explain it. Don - " He stopped in mid-sentence.

"What is it, Michaelangelo?" asked Splinter, his eyes narrowing.

"Don…" repeated Mike uncertainly.

"What about Don?" asked Leonardo.

"I...I think I got his headache…or something like that."

Leonardo looked at Mike and then at Splinter. "Master, I think I'd better go look for him."

Splinter nodded. "I believe so, Leonardo. Raphael, go with your brother. Michaelangelo, remain here with us."

Sean and Jake had managed to secure the top bunk. Sean peered out the small, upper window. "Man, it's dark out there," he nearly shouted over the pounding rain. Another bolt of lightening lit up the sky. "Until it does that. Yow!"

"You guys are nuts," Casey shook his head as he stepped outside the door into the downpour to let Leo and Raph out.

"Too crowded in here, anyway," Raphael shrugged, and then turned his head from the driving rain that flayed against his face.

When the door latched behind them, April turned to Splinter. "What's going on?"

"If I knew myself, April, I would tell you."

* * *

The sweat poured off of him in rivulets. He could feel it stinging his eyes as he tightened them shut, concentrating all his will on holding the mental picture, holding the Words in his mind, rolling over and over in his mind the brutal intention, the focussed energy ramming into his target. And again. Directed, focussed, penetrating. And again. He could feel his target writhing under the assault. He could almost hear him cry out.

Through the blackness, through the roiling black smoke that filled the small room, he could hear N standing very close, speaking low.

"Understand, Alex, once you release the Entity, it must be granted permission to enter the body of the target. Your timing must be exact. You must know when he is ready to accept."

"His name…." Skylord hissed through clenched teeth. "Give me his name."

"Is the target ready?"

"I need the name…."

N was still for a moment. "His name is Ashmedai. Fallen from the Seraphim. You understand, Alex. The host must accept him, if he is to remain within the body permanently."

Skylord grunted a reply, his face contorted with the effort.

"If your target does not willingly accept possession, if he resists the Entity, Ashmedai, will be forced to seek temporary hosts. He will not have a permanent home. And you will have failed."

* * *

Mud in his mouth. Cold water. Can't breath. Almost a respite from the other— and then the stabbing pain wracked him again, drowning all other sensation. Donatello coiled into a tight ball in the shallow muddy stream. His fall had been broken when he hit the hillside partway down and had rolled another 30 feet through brush and rocks and mud, unable to do anything to stop.

The assault came in waves, giving him brief instants of time to think- small fragments of thought between the overwhelming waves of pain that began in his skull and moved down his neck, through his spine, radiating across his carapace, igniting every nerve.

I wonder if this one will kill me.

What does it feel like to die…?

Could it be any worse than this?

~Nooooo. Not worse than this. Sweeter. Far sweeter.~

Before he could wonder where that answer had come from, another wave of stabbing bright pain shot through his skull. He groaned, paralyzed, as his toes ground spazmatically into the mud.

I have to fight this-

How do I-?

~Surrender. The Great Paradox. Victory through Surrender.~

_WHAT?_

A vise closed around his throat, his gasp froze in his lungs. Something new. He felt his carapace and plastron being crushed together. Breathless. Blue and black darkness swirling around him, dizzying.

What now?

_~I can bring you Peace. The End of Pain.~_

Who are you?

~An Angel. I am the Angel Aeshma. Known to some as Asmodeus.

You may call me Ashmedai.~

Donatello tightened his eyes shut_. I am losing my mind. First the pain. Now hallucinations. Brain tumor…._

~No. I am real. I am here. I am a Teacher of Men.~

Donatello saw for a moment geometric forms, mathematical formulas, zig-zagging , in a dizzy pattern behind his eyes. Flashing like the lightening.

~I offer you Knowledge, Donatello. Great Knowledge.

I Have the Answers You Seek.

And the only price, is Freedom from Pain.~

He could almost raise his head, elbows in the murky water_. I don't understand._

~I come from the Angelic Hierarchy, the Order of the Seraphim.

For Millennia, We have come among men, with our Gifts. My Gifts are those of Geometry, Mathematics, Astronomy.

I Can Tell You Who You Are~

It was starting again, in his skull, the throbbing pain. He lost awareness of the strange Presence for a moment; all of his attention suddenly focussed on the sensations searing through him. He curled to one side, gasping, blowing bubbles in the mud.

~Donatello…..Donatello listen to me.~

What-?

~I want to help you. You must understand the Paradox.~

Paradox?

~Surrender in order to Triumph. Surrender to Me. Be Free of Pain.

Free Forever.

I will Give You Your Answers

And then the Peace that knows No End.

All you must do is give Me Permission.

Let Me In~

Let you in? In where?

~Freedom from Pain. Eternal peace.

Sweet Oblivion~

Blinding pain again.

~Let me Help You.

Give me permission to Enter.

Eternal Peace. Sweet Darkness.~

Donatello shuddered. He considered the possibility of painlessness. The thought alone was soothing. Something gentle touching his brow. He could allow that…yes. Reassuring, seductive….yes.

~Yes. Sweet Release. Oblivion

Give Me Permission~

_Oblivion?_

His thoughts were fragmented, shreds disconnected by physical torment. He fought to pull the pieces together. Understand this. Permission to enter… _Enter? Eternal peace? Great Knowledge and Darkness?_

Something's not right.

This doesn't make sense.

No.

~Donatello. Let Me Help You.

Surrender.

Allow Me to Enter~

"No," he rasped, his voice a sandpaper whisper.

~Donatello—

"No!"

He felt steely hands close on his throat, felt the weight of a large body landing on top of him. He caught it, lightening reflexes responding, one hand on the face, seeking to gouge its eyes, the other gripping a bony shoulder. Great leathery wings unfolding—Donatello rolled, brought his own weight down on his assailant. It howled in rage.

Let Me In!

Don had it by the neck, one knee in its ribcage, the wings pinned beneath it. The face, a bony, bird-like visage, twisted as it screamed. Donatello's fingers tightened, he gripped the thing's skull. Before he could snap its neck, something struck him in the temple. Donatello crumbled, falling from Ashmedai's body, mentally screaming _"NO!" _before losing consciousness_._

* * *

The two dark figures moved through the gray of the rain- pummeled woodlands, slipping in and out of the deeper shadows of ghost-shaped trees. They traveled in synchronous motion, like a well-oiled machine, first one on lead, then the next, in ever-widening circles around their camp. Rainwater ran off their bare skin, sheeting down their hard shellbacks, as readily as the leaves shedding water.

After more than an hour, the rain began to lighten up. The rumble of thunder grew distant, and the two turtles paused on a hillside, listening, as the forest dripped wetly.

"Whadaya think, Leo?"

"Not sure. I think we should backtrack, see if we can see any better now that that rain has stopped."

A shaft of light broke through the clouds, turning the valley below them an unearthly fairy gold. More clouds pulled apart, and the blue glimmered through guiltlessly.

"DON!" bellowed Raphael suddenly, causing Leo to jump. Raph grinned at him. "Hey, rain's stopped. He can hear us now."

"So can the rest of Quebec." Leo smiled a little. The sun showing its face made him feel better. Raphael acting normal made him feel better.

"You felt something back there, didn't you?" Raphael asked him.

Leo nodded.

"What?"

Leonardo took in a deep breath. "I don't know. But I didn't like it. Something…dark." He frowned. "I'm worried about Don. I think we should backtrack. If he's ok, he's bound to be heading back now."

The two set off, circling again, bare feet silent against the cool, wet leaf forest floor, eyes searching the ferny green for the green of their brother.

* * *

By nightfall they had broken into teams, each searching a different area from the western ridge to the lower waterways lying to the south, and each returning with no news of the missing Donatello. After a grimly quiet dinner Casey had drawn first watch. Sean had begged and cajoled and pleaded to be allowed to go with the search party, and surprisingly, it was Leonardo who finally relented.

"Just stay close. Keep you eyes peeled, but don't leave my side."

"I'm watching your back, man," Sean had asserted with a confidence that belied his age and size.

Mike and Raph took off in one direction, and Leo and Sean in the other. Casey, hockey mask pushed back up on his forehead and baseball bat in hand, paced restlessly around the fire, discontent with having to remain behind. Jake, as timid and quiet as ever had retreated to the trailer to sleep, and Splinter, on unofficial "Jake Watch", was with him.

April, Lia and Rose sat on the picnic table, and watched Casey pacing and grumbling to himself.

"Does he make you nervous when he's like that?" Lia asked April.

"Like what?" asked April, handing Rose a slice of her apple.

"Like that. Like he's angry, or agitated."

"Casey?" April tossed back her wavy mass of dark hair. "Oh, no. He's harmless. At least to all of us. I wouldn't want to be a mugger in an alleyway when he's in that kind of mood, but," April paused and looked at Lia. "Does he scare you?"

Lia shrugged. "I'm beginning to think that all men scare me. I don't like it. I don't like feeling this way."

April tilted her head, watching Lia thoughtfully in the campfire light. "Your marriage was a really bad experience, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess so, But you know, the weird thing is, that at the time I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought Alex was doing wonderful and positive things. You know, teaching people, and helping them." She shook her head. "He always said he was serving some higher good. I think he really believed it."

April took a bite of apple. "What do you think now?"

"It seems like he got more twisted as time went on. Like he got more violent, more brutal, but," Lia ran her hand through Rose's hair. "I keep thinking that there's always hope, for everyone, you know? Not that I would ever want to be married to him again, I don't even want to ever see him again! But maybe, someday, he will be able to see where he went wrong. Find redemption. Maybe that's crazy. But he is Rose's father…"

"I don' wan' go Fader!" announced Rose vehemently.

"No, we're not going back there," Lia reassured her. "We're going home now, Rose. It's gonna be just like it was. You and me and Belladonna."

"You an' me an' 'Nonna an' me?"

"Mh hm."

"'kay."

"Sounds like Rose didn't have a very good experience, either," said April softly.

"I don't even want to think about it."

* * *

Michaelangelo and Raphael had taken the farthest western loop of the circuit. They covered a series of low ridges running north south, cut into the rock long ago by glacial movement, and worn down through the thousands of years of rainfall and watershed. In the lower areas the forest grew thick, a rich mix of evergreen and deciduous, thinning at the higher elevations.

They had paused at the highest point they could find, and gazed out over the untouched forestland shimmering in the moonlight.

"Man," breathed Mike. "It's really beautiful, isn't it?"

Raphael nodded. "I'd like it a lot better if we knew where the hell Don was."

"Yeah. Me too." Mike stared out at the vast land stretching below them. "I can't imagine him getting lost. Maybe he found something so interesting he's just lost track of time and -"

"Get real, Mike."

Michaelangelo looked quickly over at him.

"Don wouldn't be gone this long unless he was in trouble. You know that. I know you don't wanna know that, but you know it."

Mike sighed and looked down. "My head doesn't hurt anymore…."

Raphael didn't say it, though they both thought it. _That could be good. Or very bad._

Raphael sank down on his haunches, resting his arms on his knees.

"Raph," said Mike softly. "I think he's ok."

"I hope so, Mike"

"I mean, look around. This is kinda like our natural environment, you know?"

Raphael looked up. "What are you talking about? We don't belong here. We don't belong here any more than in the city. We don't belong anywhere."

"Come on, Raph-"

"No. I mean it. We don't."

"Well, we belong with each other, wherever that is."

Raphael shrugged.

"And with April, Casey…" Mike went on encouragingly.

"Yeah. Whoever'll take us."

Mike sank down in the wet grass next to him. The quiet of the night forest made his ears ring. He took a breath. "Did you love her?"

Raphael looked down. He shook his head slowly, as though trying to decide how to answer or whether to answer at all. His mouth moved a little before he finally spoke. "She was good people, Mike. I don't wanna talk about her."

"Ok, Raph. I understand."

"No. You don't."

"Ok. Um...I don't."

"Y'know, maybe...maybe it was just one of those weird things. A fluke."

"Fluke?"

Raphael hissed his impatience. "Ok, here's how I see it. What do you think we're ever gonna have goin' for us?"

"What do you mean?"

"Just what I said. What do we have goin' for us? An' how long before something catches up with us, hm? A stray bullet, a gas line explosion-? Hell, we don't need the Foot tryin' to kill us off. All we need is one good infection." Raphael scowled. "The way I see it, if something good comes along, I'm gonna grab it. Get it while I can, 'cause who knows if we're even gonna be here tomorrow. We could be gone in a heartbeat. And you know, no one's gonna care when we are. We are gonna pass out of this world without a trace. I'd be a fool not to take whatever good things happen to come my way. So I took it."

"I hope you don't mean that, Bro."

Raphael stared at the ground, scratching his forehead with his finger tips. "I dunno what I mean. It's all pointless anyway."

"That's what I love about you. You're such an optimist," said Michaelangelo with a dry little grin..

"I'm a realist, Mike."

* * *

"What do you suppose it is?"

"I don't know...is it dead?"

"Yeah. Good Lord, it's huge." Cryssie gingerly laid her fingertips on the hard shell.

"Don't touch it! It might be carrying rabies or something!"

"Adam, reptiles don't get rabies!"

"You sure it's a reptile?" Adam straightened up and readjusted his backpack frame. He surveyed the animal they had stumbled across lying in the muddy stream. The young couple had taken refuge in a cave along the banks of the narrow ravine when the thunderstorm hit, and had not ventured out until dawn.

Cryssie pushed her knit watchcap up further on her forehead. "Yeah, sure it is. Look, it's some kind of huge turtle." She pulled her handkerchief out of her parka pocket and wiped some of the mud from the creature's skin. "Not really like scales, but kinda…and weird legs. They look human."

"Will you stop touching it!" Adam despaired. "Looks like it's got something wrapped around its middle." He bent closer. "It looks man-made. And look at these things." He pointed to the thick pads on the elbows. "Weird."

"Maybe it belongs to someone?"

"Belonged. Looks like it's been lying here for a while."

"Help me roll it over." Cryssie reached under the creature's forelegs.

"Oh man, Crys!" Adam's curiosity was winning out, despite his protests. He took the back legs and the side of the animal's carapace and heaved it over onto its back. "Ugh!" he grunted. "It weighs a ton!"

"Wow!" yelped Cryssie as the animal's mouth lolled open. "Look at those chompers! Turtles don't have teeth like that!"

"I don't think turtles have teeth at all." Adam moved around to the head and held his palm over the slack-jawed mouth. "No breath."

"Adam!" whispered Cryssie, her voice suddenly hushed. "What if its an alien?"

Adam started to dismiss the thought with a grumble of disgust, then stopped and tilted his head thoughtfully. "Does seem sort of human like, in a weird way. And it's green."

"Let's pull it back into the cave."

"Why?" Adam frowned.

"Well, if it some unknown life form, maybe we should turn it into some scientists. If we leave it out here in the open, some other animal, like coyotes will get it. Maybe it's something very important. I know I've never seen anything like this."

"Neither have I. But we don't want to make the six o'clock news, do we?"

"So we'll contact the rangers anonymously. Not that my dad is going to be watching the news from Canada anyway. Come on. Help me drag it back to the cave. We can make a barricade with all these broken tree limbs and go get the ranger."

"This is great, Crys," muttered Adam, hauling the animal through the mud by it's ankles. "This thing is probably radioactive. The baby's probably gonna be born all green with three fingers and no hair."

"Shh! Don't talk like that!" Cryssie rubbed her belly. "She'll hear you!"

"He."

"She."

"He."

**Authors note: **Information on Ashmedai, or Asmodeus, "fiend of the wounding spear" can be found here: wiki/Asmodeus

in case you've been wondering what Lia and Skylord keep talking about. :o)


	13. Chapter 13

_The Journey Home_

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen**

Leonardo and Dodger Sean McCulley returned to the camp at dawn. The boy was exhausted, but he had followed Leo gamely through the night, down every gully and draw, and over each hilltop through the woods and open fields. With his long, black blowgun tied across his back he looked almost like a small, slender, shadow of the katana-armed turtle. He stood numbly next to Leo who surveyed the sleeping forms around the long-cold fire.

"We didn't find anything," said Michaelangelo quietly. He sat on the picnic table, behind them, wrapped in a blanket.

Leonardo turned to him. "How long have you been on watch?"

"Since we got back. A few hours, I guess. Raph and Casey just went back out again."

"Go to bed, Mike. Everyone will be waking up, soon."

"You haven't exactly slept either," said Mike.

"I'm fine. You get some sleep. You too, Sean. You did real good, kid."

"Thanks," said Sean, stumbling off to his bedroll.

Leonardo sat next to Mike on the table. The world began lightening to a chill gray. A soft mist was rising off the ground, wafting around the trunks of trees surrounding the small clearing that made up the campsite. They sat in silence together for several minutes. Both turned simultaneously, to see Splinter emerging from the shadows of the underbrush behind the trailer. In the gloom, the pale gray blue of his cloak appeared nearly colorless, and his dark face beneath the cowl gave him a wraith-like appearance. He moved toward them on silent feet.

The rat joined them on the table, laying his stick across his lap, his expression grim. His eyes were focused on some place unseen, beyond the ring of sleeping bags in the dim dawning light.

"What is it, Master?" asked Leonardo.

Splinter said nothing for a moment. When he spoke he kept his gaze fixed straight ahead, dark eyes luminous. "There is a Presence here. I do not understand its source. I feel though, that it is here because of us, that it has an intention, and that this intention has something to do directly with us. I believe it has followed us here, that it is not part of this wood or this place. I do not feel that it is in any way part of this world at all."

"Not part of this world-? What kind of a presence, Master?" asked Michaelangelo.

"Something darker than I believe I have ever felt." Splinter turned to him, as though coming back from someplace far away. "I do not wish to upset you, my sons, but I have no other words with which to describe this. I feel an intention. A dark and evil intention."

Leonardo watched his teacher's face. He felt a cold reaching towards him, a chill somehow separate from the air temperature and the dank forest mist. "I have felt that, too," he said. "Master, what about Donatello?"

Splinter's whispery voice was low. "I cannot say, Leonardo. I have not found him. I have not felt an awareness of Donatello, since the storm. And I have been searching. We must all use all of our senses as I have taught you. I feel this may be a battle we will need to fight in many ways, not merely in the physical sense. What of you, Michaelangelo? It has seemed many times you are acutely aware of what your brothers are feeling. Have you felt anything of Donatello?"

Mike looked down and sadly shook his head.

The day passed with painful slowness. As though to match the mood of the those in the small campground, a high, dull, cloud cover hung overhead, and the wind played fitfully in the tops of the tallest trees. Early in the morning Casey had unhitched the trailer and taken the car back down the access road to the campground entrance to the ranger's station. He returned with a topographic map, and several maps of neighboring areas.

April, Lia and Sean made sandwich lunches for the searchers with a military efficiency matched only by Leonardo's precise plotting of the areas to be searched. With the topo maps in hand he was able to mark out quadrants and clarify which sections had been overlooked. No one questioned his taking command of the search strategy, and he proceeded with comfortable authority into organizing the entire search party operation.

By nightfall, still no sign of Donatello had been discovered. Leonardo traced over the maps once again, pencil in hand, meal uneaten, as the mist had returned, and thickened into a deep fog, blanketing the campground and the forest for miles around.

Sometime around midnight Lia awoke to the sound of voices speaking low nearby. She had been tossing around more than sleeping anyway, and had also became aware she needed to get up for a moment. She poked her head out of the bag and caught sight of three turtles in the orange glow of the banked campfire.

"I'm not tired," Raphael was saying. He stood over the other two, arms crossed, pale eyes reflecting the firelight.

"There's no point in going out again tonight with this fog," Leonardo answered. He was rubbing the blade of his katana with a chamois.

"Yeah, we should wait until morning," Mike agreed looking back over his shoulder into the trees.

Lia pulled the black sweater over her head and wriggled out of the sleeping bag. She carefully tucked Rose in.

"Where are you going?" Leonardo whispered to her.

"Gotta find some friendly bushes," she whispered back.

"I'll go with you," offered Raphael.

"No way."

"I'm on watch. I'm going with you."

"I don't need a chaperone. I can handle this by myself, thanks."

"Lia," said Leonardo. "Someone needs to go with you."

She stopped and glared at them. "Leo, I do not need any help."

"Lia, uh, look, just to be on the safe side, we don't want anyone going into this fog alone."

"Come on, Lia," said Raphael stepping forward. "I'm not gonna watch or anything."

Lia crossed her arms. "Forget it."

"What? Is it me?" Raphael gestured expansively, eyes wide in mock innocence.

"Fine, I'll go with you," said Leo, resheathing the katana.

"No!"

"Ok, ok," Mike shrugged. "I'll go."

Leo nodded at him. "Yeah, Mike. You go."

"Argh!" Lia spun on her heels and ducked off into the mist-shrouded trees, the sodden pine needles muted under her moccasins.

Michaelangelo hurried after her. "Hey, wait up," he whispered. Lia slowed a little, exhaling in exasperation, allowing him catch up. She made her way through the gloomy shapes of trees and undergrowth, the fog lit with an eerie yellow by the reflected glow of the fire. On the far side of a thick trunked pine she paused.

"You stay there!" she hissed at Mike. "On that side."

"No prob, Lia. I'm not even here, ok?" He gazed up, whistling, and trying to make out the branches overhead, lost in the thick fog. It swirled around, damp and cold.

A strange, high, bird-like cry got Michaelangelo's attention. He frowned, cocking his head. A branch snapped, and the cry sounded from the other direction. Quietly he took a few steps toward the sound. He heard a second sharp snap of brush under foot. He lowered his body, trying to pinpoint the locations of the sounds, and crept a short distance in what seemed the right direction. A thick band of fog circled him, and he glanced back, seeing nothing. Disoriented, he turned the other way, having lost sight of the tree where Lia was. All he could see was fog, floating around him, impenetrable. He started in one direction, peering blindly into nothingness, then turned and headed in the other direction. Michaelangelo stopped again and drew his nunchucks, growing uneasy. He strained his ears, unable to hear anything. It was like a deep gray void, a sense of nothingness—

_There! _A sound. Mike moved in the that direction it seemed to come from, every sense reaching to detect some clue with which to orient himself.

Lia snapped her Levis and glanced around, suddenly unable to see anything around her, as if the swirling fog had congealed into a single dark mass. _Weird…_

Something sharp rammed into Lia's throat, striking with enough force to throw her back against the tree. She choked on her scream, her voice a strangled croak, and the world suddenly spun around at a sickening angle.

At the campfire Leonarado looked up, looked at Raphael, and then into the woods. "Did you hear something?"

Raphael frowned and shook his head.

"I'm not sure I did either, but…" Leonardo walked quickly in the direction Mike and Lia had disappeared. The fog had all but erased the surrounding forest, minute water particles swirling senselessly, reflecting back the faint light. The dark shapes of trees loomed up, barring his path, all sound hushed, he pressed through, guided by only a sense that something was wrong.

Ahead, the mist parted briefly, he could make out a dark figure standing over Lia, lifting her up into its grasp. Leonardo reacted, sprang forward, drawing a katana, and it looked up. The face was too dark, indistinguishable in the murky blackness. It dropped Lia and melted into the night.

"Mike!" Leo yelled. "Raph!" He stood over her, scanning about, eyes straining into the night.

Raphael came crashing through the brush an instant later. "What?"

"Something was here! Where's Mike?"

"What happened?" Raphael cried, seeing Lia lying still on the ground in a crumpled heap. "Oh, shit! Is she-?"

Leo bent over her, gently raised Lia's head, and felt for the pulse at her throat. He found the dart.

"Oh, man…Raph, take her to the trailer - we need Splinter-I'll look for Mike."

"Lemme look for Mike, Leo," Raphael was already heading into the deeper shadows. "_Mike!"_

Leonardo lifted Lia into his arms and ducking through the brush, rushed for the trailer.

"Master!" Leonardo shoved through the small door. Splinter was on his feet, switching the small electric light on.

"Leonardo-?"

"Dart. She was hit with a dart." He laid her on the low bunk.

"Let me see." Splinter took the small metal tipped weapon. He sniffed it and narrowed his eyes. "Hot water. Quickly."

Leonardo turned and grabbed the matches from the cabinet, lighting the small propane stove and filling the teakettle with water from the plastic tank on the counter. He moved swiftly, with deliberate calm. Splinter knelt by the unconscious Lia, feeling her pulse, and laying his head against her chest, listening.

The door swung open and April stepped in, carrying a teary-eyed Rose. "What happened? Rose woke up and was crying and, oh my-!" April's eyes widened.

"Mommy!" wailed Rose.

Outside Raphael ran through the underbrush, heedless of the branches tearing at him. The fog lifted some, and he called again. Far off to the right, he heard an answering call. He ran in that direction nearly stumbling as the terrain abruptly sloped downhill. At the bottom he found Mike, struggling to his feet.

"It was here - I almost had him!" Mike gasped.

"What? Who was it?" Raphael hooked an arm through Mikes, pulling him up.

"Someone-and he had the worst breath I've ever smelled!"

"Did you see who was it?"

Mike shook his head. "Couldn't make it out. Soon as I had him cornered he took off. I think if we head that way-" Mike pointed with his chucks.

"Mike," Raphael gripped his arms. "You left Lia up there. She got hit with a dart."

"Lia…?" Mike looked confused. "Oh...damn…hit with a dart? Is she-?"

"She's alive. Come on. What the hell happened?" Raphael began guiding Mike back up the hillside.

Mike shook his head. "I dunno…I was…I followed this guy, and …" He stopped. "Oh, man. Oh, no."

The two hurried up the hillside to the clearing to the trailer, the small, lighted window glowing fuzzily through the fog. Voices spilled out into the night in anxious tones.

Inside Casey stood by the back door, bat in hand, April held Rose. Raphael pushed his way through, followed by Mike.

Michaelangelo stopped and stood still, looking stunned.

"Mommy s'eep?" asked Rose.

"Has the water boiled?" asked Splinter over his shoulder.

"Almost," said Leonardo.

"Where's those kids?" asked Raphael.

Leo looked up suddenly. "Sean has a blowgun-"

"I'll get 'em-!" Raphael was back out the door, Casey with him. Leonardo started to turn.

"Wait a moment with me, Leonardo," said Splinter. "Hand me the herb bag in the top cabinet, and a ceramic cup, please. As soon as the water boils, I want to prepare an infusion."

"Master," said Michaelangelo, his voice barely a whisper. "Is she going to be alright?"

"Her breath is shallow, and her pulse is very weak," said Splinter, not looking up. "I will know better when we are able to give her the tea."

April shivered, holding Rose close. "It's going to be fine. Don't worry. She'll be fine," she whispered.

Outside Raphael nearly ran into little Sean as he came barreling around the side of the car. He grabbed the boy by the shoulder and shoved him back up against door. "What the hell are you doin' out here?"

"Whoa—takin' a leak dude, whaddaya think?"

"Where's your blowgun?"

"In my jacket in the trailer. Why?"

"I got this one," Casey appeared around the far side of the car, hauling Jake by the jacket. "Where have you been, kid?"

"Wa- ha- ha-ah-n-na-" Jake answered, shaking.

"That ain't Japanese," Raphael turned on him threateningly. "How long have you two been out wanderin' around? What have you been up to?"

"N-nothin'."

"Yeah, right." The two frightened boys were dragged into the crowded trailer. Casey stood in the doorframe, still gripping Jake's sleeve. At the front, Splinter held Lia's head up, allowing her to breathe the steam from a small cup. Her eyes were closed and her face unresponsive. Leonardo sat next to him, his expression wooden, and very still, except for a small muscle in his jaw moving rhythmically.

Sean took in the scene inside the trailer. "What-? Did someone attack her? You think it was me? Oh, cripes…." He knelt on the floor and scrounged through his small heap of raggy clothes as many eyes watched him. "It's here, hold on," he muttered. "Uh, well, it _was_ here."

"There it is," Jake pointed to beneath the right side cabinet. Sean reached and pulled it out.

"Darts," said Leonardo, extending his hand. Sean handed the blowgun and seven darts to him. Leo sniffed the darts and handed them to Splinter, who did the same, eyes narrowed.

"It is the same," said Splinter, his voice low.

"I didn't shoot her!" squeaked Sean.

"Yeah, well, someone did," snarled Raphael. "And this punk knew where the blowgun was," he jerked his head toward Jake who shrank back toward Casey.

"I didn't do it, I swear. I didn't! Why would I?" quavered Jake.

"That's just what we would like to know," said Leonardo evenly.

"Look," Jake went on pleadingly. "If the dart gun was in here while Sean and I were outside, how could we have done it?"

Raphael stepped up to him. "Hold him," he said to Casey, and patted him down. Mike gestured to Sean who raised his arms to be searched.

"Ok, they're clean," Mike said.

"Alright," said Leonardo quietly. "If the only blowgun was inside the trailer with Splinter, while the boys were outside the trailer, it seems unlikely that they did this."

"Unless they tossed the second one in the bushes," said Raphael.

"Unless there is a second one," Leo agreed. "Mike, what happened out there?"

Mike shook his head. "I…I don't know. One minute I was standing there, and then there was this sound, and then I was chasin' this awful smellin'…." Mike blinked. "Oh man," he looked at Lia. "She's gonna be alright, isn't she?"

"As long as..." Splinter paused as a sudden gust of wind rattled gravel and debris against the trailer, rocking it violently.

"Whoa!" exclaimed Casey, hanging on, and swinging himself back inside, the door slamming behind him. With an electric crackle the light went out as the wind from out of nowhere rose and shook the trailer. April yelped in fright and Rose started crying again.

"Holy Moly!" exclaimed Mike. The trailer shook and darkness swallowed them. The wind whistled in through the window like some mournful demon. After several moments the shaking stopped, the wind subsided and the light came back on.

"That was weird," said Sean, voicing everyone's thoughts as they looked at one another.

"What the hell is going on?" asked Casey, determined to bully any fears away.

"Well, I'll tell you one thing," said Raphael. "I'm not letting you two punks outta my sight. I am gonna be in your faces twenty-four seven startin' right now."

"Does that mean I'm finally gonna get my lessons?" asked Sean.

"Yeah, smartass. We want you to be more deadly."

Sean sobered. "I didn't do it, man."

Michaelangelo, still looking shell-shocked, glanced up. "You know, if whatever I ran into down the hill did this, it wasn't anyone in here. I'd know. I'd be able to smell that."

"What did it smell like?"

Mike looked down and rubbed his chin. "Like…like something that was, uh, dug up. Totally gross. Like something that had died." He shivered. "Too weird."

Raphael grabbed both boys by the shirt collars. Jake stood head and shoulders above him, Sean was not even Raph's height, and both shrank in his grip. "You're outta here. You're gettin' back in your bags now, an' I'm watchin' ya!" He paused and glanced back, something other than anger in his eyes for an instant. "She's ok, right?"

"I believe so," said Splinter. "This is a very fast acting poison. Had the dosage been high enough to be fatal, she would have already been-" Splinter glanced over at Rose and refrained from finishing the sentence. "Raphael, someone, something, has followed us. As you stand watch, you must be prepared for the unexpected."

Raphael exhaled sharply and shoved the two boys out the door, Casey following.

"You gonna come back out to sleep, April?" asked Casey. "I'm staying on watch with Raph tonight. Nothing's gonna get past both of us."

April nodded. "Is it alright if I leave Rose here with you, Splinter?" she asked. "She might settle down better if she's near her mom."

"Here, I'll take her," offered Mike, reaching out.

"Mommy s'eep?" Rose asked again, snuggling into Mike's arms.

"Yeah, she's fine, don't worry. You need to go to sleep, too." Mike tousled the little girl's hair and she gave him her most endearing little smile.

Leonardo brought a hand to his brow. "I can't believe I let that happen."

"You didn't let it happen, Leo," said Mike, sitting on the opposite bunk, holding Rose. "I was drawn off by something. It's like I forgot what I was doing. It was my fault."

Leo shook his head. "No, I should have-"

"Rather than seeking to blame yourselves, I believe your time would be better spent in seeking to understand who or what has done this, and prepare for the next attack." Splinter lowered Lia's head onto the pillow. "I should like to spend the next few hours before the sun rises, in meditation." He laid one slender hand over his eyes. "I feel this attack on Lia somehow involved Donatello, though my rational mind cannot imagine why."

Michaelangelo's eyes grew round. "You don't mean you think he did it?"

Splinter waved his hand absently. "This is not something I can explain as yet. I must go out. I will not be far." He set the cup in Leonardo's hands. "If she regains consciousness, she must drink as much of this as possible. Until then, inhaling the fumes will be of some help. Raphael and Casey are on watch. I want you both to rest if you can." Splinter looked pointedly at Lia and then back at Leo and Mike. "Onegai shimasu."

Leonardo dropped his head in obeisance.

Michaelangelo nodded solemnly as well. After Splinter had closed the door, he smiled at Leo. "Like you _wouldn't_ handle things…."

It was nearly two hours before Lia drew in a deep breath and made a small sound in response to the unexpected pain in her lungs.

"Oh, ow…" she opened her eyes and then quickly closed them.

"Lia, here, sit up. You need to drink this." Leonardo put an arm around her shoulders, gently raising her up a little. She took a sip from the cup and made a face.

"Tastes awful."

"How do you feel?"

"Sore." She tried to move. "Ow. All over. Hurts to breathe." She blinked and focussed on his face for a moment and then looked around the trailer. "What happened? Where's Rose?"

"She's over there, asleep with Mike. You were hit with a poison dart. You're gonna feel sore for a while. Here, drink this, it'll help."

"Poison?" Lia's brow knit in confusion. "Who? Who hit me?" She struggled to sit up, adrenaline suddenly bringing her fully awake.

"We don't know who, but they're gone now."

"Was it Alex? Did he find me?" Her eyes widened with fear. "He did, didn't he? Leo? Tell me-"

"No, we don't know that."

"It was him. I know it was him. He can always find me. He always does." Lia fought to sit up again, feeling the panic starting to rise as her aching limbs moved too slowly.

"Lia, you're ok. You're safe."

"No, he's here somewhere!" Lia tried to push past him.

Leonardo caught her in his arms and pulled her close. "Lia, stop. You're safe," he said softly. "Nothing, no one, is going to hurt you."

Lia exhaled shakily. It did feel safer, much safer, in that powerful embrace. His hand pressed gently against her back, and she slowly let her face rest against his hard shoulder. Hesitantly she slipped her arms around him, and then hugged him back.

Leonardo felt her heart beating against him. He closed his eyes and held her, feeling her cling to him, feeling her warmth, feeling his own heart pounding.

"You know what's really stupid?" she said, not raising her head.

"Hm?"

"I don't think I'm nearly so afraid of him when I have to deal with him face to face."

"It's not stupid. Maybe that's just telling you that the worst fear is in your mind."

She closed her eyes, her cheek resting against his skin, holding him. "Thank you," she whispered.

_Oh God, that's not what I want to say, that's not what I want to tell you. I want to tell you more than that…_

She could have stayed like that, wrapped in his arms, for a long time. And she already felt like she had hugged him for a bit longer than was proper. Reluctantly she let go, and sat back on the bunk. She smoothed her hair, shrugged self-consciously and smiled.

With some effort, Leo brought his own breath under control. A funny little smile moved across his face. "You don't have to thank me, you know. But, I'd like to know, is there any way to get one of those without you having to go through something bad first?"

" 'One of those?' You mean a hug?"

He nodded.

Lia dropped her gaze for an instant, considering, then looked up and smiled. "Sure. Just ask."

"Just ask?"

"Yeah. Just ask."

"Ok. I'll remember that."

* * *

Red droplets on the gleaming surface of polished wood. Deep red wine. Like blood. Blood of life. Blood of sacrifice. Blood unto blood, Father to Child….

He ran a pale finger through the droplets, slowly running them together, all one, all none. As if they had never been.

Those were his words. _It will be as if you had never been._

_Oblivion._

Ironic, he thought. That the quest for immortality should end with the ultimate death. But what choice did he have? Such was the price of failure. It was all he had left. It was all that would be accepted in payment.

His immortal soul.

And he would not be denied what was his.

So now it was done. The final contract signed, sealed. He made his bargain.

And this time he knew exactly with whom he was dealing.

Now it was promised to him. The death of his enemy. And her return.

There was nothing more he needed to do. It would come to pass.

Alexander Skylord would slay the one who barred his way.

And he would have his wife at his side for the rest of his life.

And after that….

After that, nothing mattered anyway.

* * *

"Alright, Ma'am. Please. One more time. How long have you known Mr. Jones?"

"And I told you, young man, I am not answering a single question until I have an attorney here."

"Ma'am, please. You don't need an attorney. You haven't been arrested."

"I know my constitutional rights. You can't keep me here. I have to get home. Mr. Davis will never remember his heart medicine."

The man in the black suit seated across from the woman dropped his face into his hands and rubbed his eyes. The man standing slightly behind him in the small, sparsely furnished room took another sip of coffee from a paper cup and cleared his throat.

"Mrs. Davis, please. If you would just answer our questions we will take you back home…"

The white-haired woman in the lavender and blue housecoat glared at them through her thick glasses.

"What were you doing at the Jones residence this morning?"

Mrs. Davis pursed her lips.

The second man, dressed in an identical black suit with an identical haircut, came around and pulled up another chair before her. "Mrs. Davis, maybe you don't remember how long you've known Mr. Jones. Maybe that's why you're hesitating to answer that. Let me just ask you this. Have you ever seen anything, oh, _unusual_ at the Jones residence when you were there?"

"You two are about the strangest thing I've seen in Northampton in 75 years. Look at you. You two look like you were pressed out of the same cookie mold!"

The first man nodded, feeling encouraged. "Well, yes. I can certainly agree with you there. Tell me have you ever seen any, ah, large animals when you were there?"

"Large animals? No."

"Any unusual animals?"

"Mister, I have yet to even see the gol'derned _cat_!"

"There's a cat?" The two men exchanged glances. One opened a notepad and quickly wrote in it.

"A cat…I see," said the first man. "What kind of cat?"

Mrs. Davis snapped her mouth shut and sat back, crossing her arms.

They weren't going to get another word out of _her._

And they didn't.

* * *

Casey Jones and Raphael had taken the lower route, moving upstream through the creek bed. The afternoon sun had disappeared shortly after they had left the camp, swallowed once again by heavy gray and white clouds. They slogged through the cold water that ran slowly through the narrow ravine, glancing skyward with some dread.

"Heh, looks like yer gonna get that shower you been whimperin' about after all, ol' buddy," Casey smirked behind his mask.

"Swell." Raphael paused to pull a long and unusually straight tree limb from the water, and seeing it wasn't any part of a bo staff, threw it aside with disgust. "This is stupid."

Casey stopped and turned back to look at him. "Why?"

" 'Cause we've been over this same area three times now."

Casey shrugged. "You know Leo."

In the distance, the low rumble of thunder could be heard.

"Oh, _man_," Raphael shook his head. "I say we pack it in. Let's climb out of this stupid bog up there," Raphael pointed ahead of them where the ravine wall leveled off to a more gradual slope. "We can back track that way." He indicated downstream. "And cover the stream bed from above. Maybe we can get back to camp before we're frickin' drowned or some-" He turned back toward Casey again and was smashed violently across the face with a baseball bat.

Raphael staggered back wards, stunned, bleeding and astonished. He caught himself against the rocky side of the ravine as a shadowy form leaped at him again and brought the bat crashing down on his head. Raphael fell into the stream, managing to dive forward, tackling his assailant around the knees. He grappled blindly as his head was forced underwater. He found purchase on an arm and wrenched the limb back at an impossible angle. Raphael came up gasping, blinded by mud and his own blood running in his eyes. He spun around in the water, sai in hand, seeing no one, hearing a crack of thunder breaking so close it seemed to shake the canyon walls.

It leaped down on him from above, seemingly from out of nowhere. Raphael caught him this time, hooking the sai prong into the attacker's shoulder. He also caught the stench from the face, an awful, musty, rotting smell. Raph slammed onto his back in the stream, both feet ramming into the other's stomach, and threw him behind him. Leaping back to his feet, he crouched in a fighting stance, sai at ready. Raphael set his back to the canyon wall. There was no one in the water where his attacker should have landed.

"Casey!" he shouted, his voice hoarse and thick. Dizzily he stared around the darkening ravine while the rain began pelting down, cutting his vision.

Something bit into his flesh behind his shoulder, low, close to his armpit. He gasped, reaching for it with his other hand, but his arm suddenly seemed to disconnect from his body. His legs went numb, his breath stopped in his lungs, and darkness engulfed him. Raphael fought to move, fought to breathe, and collapsed into the streambed as thunder rolled across the blackened skies.

* * *

Casey got back into camp late in the afternoon some time after the storm had blown over. His hockey mask hid his face, but by his posture and movements he was in a sour mood.

Leonardo met him at the car. "Where's Raph?"

Casey stopped abruptly and cocked his head. "Whaddaya mean where's Raph? He's not here?"

Leonardo shook his head.

"You sure? Sucker took off without me. Big funny. When I find him I'm gonna kick his ass."

"How long ago?"

"Hours ago. He took off, yellin' somethin'. Hell if I know. I spent a lot of real cold, wet, time tryna catch up with him." Casey opened the car trunk and threw his golf bag with its assorted collection of improvised weapons in. "An' just now, I'm gonna get out of these wet clothes and catch a few z's."

Casey slammed the trunk shut and stomped off toward the trailer, still grumbling. Leonardo watched him, feeling strange, feeling a chill, feeling once again as if something cold and dark was reaching toward him from some unfathomable place.

Michaelangelo quietly appeared at his side. "Raph's missing?"

Leonardo nodded slowly.

"This is not good, is it?" said Mike.

"I think it's hunting us. It almost feels like something is hunting us, trying to pick us off, one at a time."

"It?" asked Mike. "As in not a 'he' or a 'she', but an 'it'?"

Leo nodded. "I'm not sure it's human, Mike. Splinter isn't either. Something feels so strange here."

"Gack," Mike looked around into the surrounding trees. "That really creeps me out, ya know." He looked down at the shiny red paint of Casey's car, and rubbed a water spot with his finger. "I hope they turn up soon," he said quietly.

"They will. We will find them. I'll have Casey take me to the place he left Raph. You hold the fort down, ok, Mike?"

Michaelangelo nodded.

* * *

"We have to go into town for supplies," April announced to Lia and Sean, though it was patently obvious to both that this was the case. "After tonight's meal, that's it. We weren't planning on staying here this long. But it looks like we might be here for a while longer now..." April trailed off, worry etching her face. Distractedly she tapped her nails on the large tin pot holding a massive amount of noodles. "Wish we at least had some sauce."

"We still have some butter?' asked Sean, poking his head in the cooler. "Garlic powder? Ah, here…" he produced a small plastic tub of Not-Quite-Butter. "Fettuccini Alfredo a la Stewpot!"

"You learned a lot at that soup kitchen, didn't you?" asked April.

"I learned a lot from Sunni," he said, his face drawing into a small knot.

Lia sat on the bunk where Rose was busily coloring with a yellow hi lighter marking pen on a paper bag.

"Mommy, yook!" Rose enthused. "Dis is a turtle!"

Lia watched her and sighed. "Oh, pretty. What's the turtle's name?"

"Dis is Don. An dis is Waph, an' dis is Don." She pointed happily with her marker.

"That's…really nice, Rose…" said Lia, her voice catching.

"It'll be ok, Lia," said April reassuringly. "I'll take the car in tomorrow, and get some supplies. You can come, too. It'll do you some good to get away for a while. Hey. Look." April turned to her with a look of determination. "We've been in tighter spots. The guys always come through. I know its awful not knowing, but I've learned I have to have faith in them." It was a shade more optimistic than April was actually feeling, but she wanted very much to bolster Lia.

Lia looked up. "I know...I mean…it's just…April, this is my fault. I know what's going on here. I don't know how to explain how I know the things I know. I just do. I know its Alex. He's trying to get to me, and he's going to keep on hurting everyone around me, just like he always has, until he gets what he wants."

Sean was scraping the last of the margarine into the noodle pot. "So you don't think it was me that shot you with my dart, then?" he asked Lia.

She shook her head. "No. I know who it was." Lia bit her lip, blinking, and then looked quickly up at April "Yeah. Ok. That's a good idea. Rose and I will go with you to town tomorrow."

Lia slipped back into the trailer after dinner and washed the dishes, chasing out Mike who offered to help. When she was done she latched the door and began carefully stuffing her backpack with as many of her things as she could fit in it. She slid the pack under the bunk, out of sight, and went back out to the campfire.

Leonardo and Casey had returned just after sunset from a search that had begun to take on a desperate feeling. They joined the rest of the grimly quiet group at the fire.

"I can't believe he just disappeared," said Casey, running a hand through his hair. "I'm tellin' ya, he just took off. I was sure he'd be here." He shook his head. "I'll take the first watch tonight, guys."

"No one goes out tonight," announced Leonardo. "We'll resume searching in the morning."

"Let me help you guys, ok?' asked Sean from under his bedroll. "Come on. You know it wasn't me. And you need us."

Jake, half hidden under his bedding, spoke up also. "I'd be willing to help. Really. I owe you guys. And, uh, I'm worried about those guys, too. Really."

Splinter had been gently probing Michaelangelos' ribs, feeling around his unprotected sides between the carapace and plastron. Mike was trying hard not to wince. Splinter raised his nose to regard the two who had spoken. "I believe your offers have been made in good faith. Let us see what the morning brings. For now, it is late."

Lia sat with her back to the fire, holding Rose who was nearly asleep. She kept her head down, avoiding eye contact with everyone as much as possible. Partly she didn't want anyone to see she had been crying, and partly, she didn't trust her eyes not to reveal anything.

She was still sitting up long after everyone else had settled down. Crickets sang all around in the cool night, and a great chorus of frogs filled the air from somewhere. As she was staring numbly into the darkness, she felt someone near.

"Don't do it," Leonardo whispered, lowering himself next to her.

She turned quickly, startled, meeting his eyes.

"I know what you're thinking, and you're wrong."

"How do you know what I'm thinking?" she whispered back.

"Because I know you. I'm right, aren't I?"

Lia looked away.

Leo shook his head. "Lia, don't you leave. There is more going on here than you think. We have to find Don and Raph. We _will _find them. Please don't make me go looking for you, too. Because if you leave, I will look for you. Have that much faith in me."

Lia covered her eyes with her hands, trying not to cry, trying not to cave in on herself.

"_Promise me_," he whispered emphatically.

"Leo-"

"_Promise_."

She nodded, still hiding her face. "Ok…I promise," she managed in a very small voice, and then started crying.

He exhaled. "Thank you." He laid a hand on her arm. "Don't cry, ok? It's going to be alright."

* * *

"Wonder why the ranger hasn't been out here yet," said Cryssie.

Adam shrugged and poked at their fire, crackling and snapping on the shore of the stream where they had made camp. "Well, they weren't sure if they'd have a truck available 'til tomorrow. When I told them how big it was, they said they might have to wait." He paused a moment, gazing up at the stars twinkling in the inky blue blackness of the night sky. "Did you check on it while I was gone?"

"Yeah. It's still there. Thank God it hasn't started to smell."

"Crys, you really think we should give it to the rangers?"

"Yeah. I think so. I know that there's gotta be a biologist somewhere who'd just love to take credit for discovering some new species."

"Aw, hell, Crys. You know they're just going to want to dissect it."

Cryssie frowned, then shrugged, dismissing the images that came into her mind with that remark. "Well, maybe. But I dunno. I just got it into my head that we _had _to report it to someone. Seems really important."

"Tell ya what, Crys. After the rangers haul it off, lets move on. This park is kinda creepy somehow, ya know?"

"Yeah. You know where I'd like to go?"

"Where now?"

"California."

"California?"

"Yeah. You know, sunshine, warm weather. Get the hell out of all this rain."

"Ok, babe. You got it. Next stop, California."

* * *

The morning dawned blood red above the high treetops. The sky promised rain. A restless breeze sent leaves and bits of forest debris swirling around the campsite. Michaelangelo and Leonardo set out before breakfast; not there was any breakfast available. They took to the highlands to the north, at the far border of the mapped areas. They hadn't traveled more than three miles when the clouds came together and rain began slowly at first, then gaining force. The two turtles tried to stay under the trees, though there was little actual shelter even there. The wind moaned and swayed the tall evergreens, far overhead, and rain hissed over the leaves of the underbrush. They followed a deer trail, skirting the side of a sparsely vegetated slope, Leonardo in the lead. The cold wind drove the rain into their eyes, and they lowered their faces, pressing forward into the teeth of the new storm.

A strange footprint in the mud caught Michaelangelo's eye on the uphill side of the trail. He paused for a moment. "Hey, Leo!" he called, bending to look. It was wide, humanoid, and two-toed. There were two of them. "Leo!"

Something dropped onto Michaelangelo from above with the force of a tree falling on him. He slipped and lost his footing for an instant. His hands flew up and back, grabbing at it, reaching for where a head should be. A chain suddenly tightened around his neck. He gasped and clawed at it, unable to get a hand between his throat and the cold steel links. The chain wrenched back, choking him with a super human strength. Mike gagged and flung himself backwards, smashing into a tree, trying of dislodge whatever it was that clung to his back. It held on, and Mike clutched at the chain tightening relentlessly against his throat. He reached back, grabbing for his 'chucks tucked into his belt behind him. The thing on top of him kicked viciously at his hand.

Mike tried to cry out, tried to see where Leo was. No sound escaped his mouth. All he could see was the rain-drenched forest darken several dizzy shades grayer. He staggered, feeling himself beginning to pass out.

_Oh, damn!_


	14. Chapter 14

_The Journey Home_

**Chapter Fourteen**

* * *

"Ahkk! Jeez…" Casey winced as he gingerly peeled off the thermal shirt. He looked at the huge rip in the front, shrugged and balled it up and stuffing it into the black plastic bag.

"Whoa!" exclaimed April looking at his shoulder. "Look at that. No wonder it hurt."

Casey looked down at the angry red gouge running from below his collarbone up to nearly his shoulder.

"How'd you do that?" asked April, stuffing the rest of the clothes on the bunk into the bag.

"I don't remember. Probably when I was chasin' after Raph. Musta run into somethin'."

April leaned a little closer, frowning at the wound. Casey sat back, a grin twisting across his face. "Ya know, any time you wanna look, I'd be happy to take off my shirt."

April looked up suddenly, blinked, and then playfully socked his arm. "I bet you would!" She raised an eyebrow. "It's a good thing we're going to do some laundry today, other wise we'd all have to be running around…" she paused. "Oh, never mind. Casey, you are just awful!"

"Me?" he grinned even wider. "Why me? What'd I do?" He leaned toward her. "Gotcha all distracted, didn't I?"

"No, you didn't." April kept her eyes averted. "Ok, is there anything else? Oh, I know." She stood and went to the trailer door, calling out "Lia? You got anything that needs to be washed? Oh my, here it comes again."

"What's that?" asked Casey.

"The rain."

Lia ducked into the trailer, Rose on her hip. "Yeah, I do actually." She set Rose down and pulling the overstuffed pack out from under the bunk, added to the growing laundry pile. "Thanks, April," she said.

"You sure you don't want to come with us?" asked April.

Lia shook her head. "They all thought I should stay here, with Splinter. It's ok. I'm still pretty sore from that dart. Splinter said it was a paralyzing drug, and that's why my muscles hurt."

April frowned. "You going to be ok?"

"Oh, yeah. They want me to keep drinking that tea. Blech. Tastes really bad, though."

"Well, if the rain keeps up everyone's going to have to cram in here I guess." April peeked out the small window. "Wonder where Splinter and the boys are."

"I don't know where they are. I haven't seen Sean or Jake since Leo and Mike left. I guess Splinter's with them."

"Hell," said Casey standing and pulling on another thermal shirt only slightly less grubby than the one he had taken off. "We never know where Splinter is anyway."

"Dat was dat mans," said Rose, pulling off the too-large ball cap Lia had borrowed from Sean.

"Who was that man?" Lia asked.

"Dat bad poo-poo mans."

"What man? You mean Casey?" Lia asked again, reaching for Rose. Rose jerked away.

"No! Dat _udder_ mans. Dat bad, bad poo-poo mans!"

"Where was the man, Rose?" asked April, catching Lia's concern.

"Out dere!"

Casey stood. "I'll take a look around before we leave. Don't worry," he said to both of them. "I know he looks old and small, but I don't think anyone could catch Splinter unawares."

"Rose," said Lia, trying to keep her voice calm. "Did you see daddy out there?"

"No!" Rose leaned toward her mother and spoke loudly as though perhaps it was Lia's hearing that was the problem. "Dat _udder_ mans!" Rose climbed up onto the bunk, crossed her little arms in front of her. "Hmf!" she pouted. It was plain she was through trying to explain this to these silly people.

"I feel kind of funny leaving everyone here," said April as she and Casey started off down the narrow dirt road through the dense forest.

"Well, I sure as heck wasn't gonna let you go by yourself. Don't worry. Mike and Leo will be back in camp soon. And they'll probably have those other two zip-heads with 'em. It's gonna be alright."

"This trip is going to take awhile, isn't it?"

"Yeah. We won't be back til after dark."

April settled back in the seat, watching the windshield wipers rhythmically swipe at each new splattering of raindrops. For once she hoped that Casey would launch into his story-telling mode. It would give her something to think about and distract her from her fears and growing sense of dread. _They'll be alright. Of course they'll be alright. They always are._

* * *

Leonardo leaped down from uphill, airborne flying sidekick, his foot smashing into the side of the black form on Michaelangelo's back. All three went tumbling, thrown down the hillside by the force. Michaelangelo ripped the chain from his throat and lay choking, gasping for breath, as Leonardo and the dark attacker locked together, rolling downhill through the wet underbrush. They crashed up against a tree, coming to a jarring stop. The man in black raised a dagger; Leo grabbed the blade hand and fought to free his other hand pinned beneath the man's body. He loomed over Leo; the dagger poised between the two as each struggled for control of the weapon.

* * *

"This is just terrific." Cryssie shivered, wrapped in her green army fatigue jacket. She watched Adam's third attempt at starting a fire in the mouth of the small cave. Outside the rain thundered down, singing on the surface of the shallow stream.

"Well, Princess, if I'd have known it was going to be so cold here this time of year I'd have brought an electric blanket," grumbled the young man.

"Don't call me that!" snapped Cryssie. She looked down hugged her knees to herself. "Oh well. I know it's not your fault. It's supposed to be warm and humid here in June."

"Humidity we got!"

"Probably just as well," Cryssie glanced toward the far back end of the low-ceilinged shelter, though it was too dark to see anything. "If it was warm that thing _would_ probably be stinking to high heaven by now."

Adam was leaning down, blowing on the bit of pine needles as they smoked. "Oh, look. There we go…." He added a bit more kindling, and the small, smoky fire grew slowly. There was a good bit more smoke than fire.

Cryssie coughed. "We're going to asphyxiate!"

"Wait, wait," said Adam, also coughing. "Give it a chance. It's getting better." He threw another handful of stuff on.

"I don't think so!" Cryssie choked.

"We probably need is more dry stuff," said Adam as the cave continued to fill with smoke.

"You need to change the angle of the draft."

"What?" asked Adam waving his hands to chase the smoke.

"I didn't say anything!" Cryssie took off her hat and waved it blindly. "I can't see!"

"I said you need to change the angle of the draft."

"What?" Cryssie squinted her eyes against the stinging smoke.

"If you had something like a tarp you could rig it like a chimney and draft the smoke out."

"Who said that?" Adam waved his arms blindly.

"Me. Your dead turtle."

"Aaakhhh!" screamed Cryssie jumping up and hitting her head on the roof of the cave.

"Holy shit!" yelled Adam, grabbing Cryssie's arm and the two of them tumbled out of the cave, scattering their smoking pieces of wood.

"There was probably a better way to have done that," sighed Donatello, following them out into the rain.

Cryssie and Adam stumbled back into the stream. Adam fell and landed in the shallow water as Cryssie slipped and landed on top of him. Splashing and slipping they scrambled backwards, staring at the muddy creature emerging from the mouth of the cave.

"Take it easy," said Donatello, rubbing his eyes. "Ow. Man. I'm starving. You guys got anything to eat?"

The two young people sat in the water, staring in mute terror.

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry." Don looked down at his mud-caked body. "Guess I look pretty bad. My name's Don. Uh…hi. I'm not really dead."

"What- what the hell are you?" asked Adam.

"You know, I get that a lot. I'm a turtle," replied Don, bending over and washing himself in the stream.

"H-how can you talk?" stammered Cryssie.

"Air being forced over my vocal chords as I exhale, combined with the movements of my mouth and tongue." Don stood up, shaking the water from his hands. "Whew. That was nasty. Did you put me back in that cave?"

Adam gulped nodded.

"Well, you may have saved my life. I thank you. Would it safe to assume you have just drenched your only clothing?" He smiled disarmingly at the two humans sitting forlornly in the icy cold water. They were dressed identically in army fatigue jackets, baggy khakis, and knit caps over short-cropped bleached blond hair.

_"What?"_ asked Adam, utterly confused.

"You're all wet. I know some folks who may be able to loan you some…" Don paused and frowned. "How long have I been in there?"

"A-about three days."

"Whoa," Don cupped his chin. "Boy, I bet everyone's wondering what happened to me. I need to get back to my campground." He looked around in the water. "You, uh, didn't happen to see a long, wooden stick anywhere around here, did you?"

* * *

"Shh. Just sit quietly, sweetie," said Lia and gave Rose the yellow marking pen and a sheaf of paper. "Why don't you draw me something," she whispered. Rain drummed steadily on the tin roof of the travel trailer.

Rose pulled the cap off the pen and sat on the floor. "Where's Yeo?" she asked.

"With Mike," Lia whispered.

"Where's Shawm?"

"I don't know…"

"Where's um…where's um…Jake?"

"I…I'm not sure."

"Where's S'pinter?"

"I don't know, sweetie. We just looked for them, remember? I don't know where anyone is. Why don't you just draw for a while." Lia quickly moved back to the door and locked it.

_Ok, ok. I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for why everyone seems to have disappeared. I'm sure._

She glanced around the trailer, tapping her teeth with a fingernail. Lia considered the lightweight, blue-spackle camp cookware, wishing she had one of Belladonna's heavy cast iron pots. Remembering something large she saw under the bunk when she had retrieved her pack, she knelt down. Lia reached and pulled out a black-sheathed sword. "Oh my," she murmured.

She sat cross-legged on the bunk laying the weapon across her lap. It didn't look like Leonardo's katana. The sheath was black lacquered wood, with a delicate red dragon painted on the side. The hilt guard was oval, and ornately fashioned in gold in the form of a tiger, instead of a naked silver square. Lia slowly unsheathed the sword. The blade certainly looked sharp enough. She gripped the hilt in both hands, holding the sword upward before her, feeling its weight, and took a deep breath.

Everything is just fine. Everyone will be back in just a few minutes. It's all ok. But just in case it isn't….I'm ready.

_Yeah, right. _

* * *

The attacker was bearing down, pressing down on him, the dagger flashed, inches from his eyes, as Leonardo fought to hold it off. The man was impossibly strong. The lower part of his face was swathed in black fabric, but for an instant Leonardo had the impression he recognized him. The almond shaped eyes; they were -no! They were all wrong. Flat black, no whites, no irises- inky black pits—

_How could a man this size weigh so much?_

Leo set his teeth, flexing his trapped arm, fighting to free his legs to kick. Every muscle in his body bulged and strained to escape.

The man hissed, a gleeful, mocking expression burning across what could be seen of the face. Leonardo's nostrils were filled with the stench of something long ago dead, something rotting. He gagged despite himself.

Flattening himself down, sinking back into the soft earth beneath him, as if relenting, he relaxed his body, though not the hold on the arm that held the knife so close to his face. He paused, and then snapped up, arching, lifting the man on top of him a fraction, enough to get a leg under him, enough to jam a knee up into him—

He savagely threw him aside and leaped to his feet. The dark assailant scrambled backwards, unnaturally fast, like a video on rewind, and plunged into the dense undergrowth down the steep hillside.

"Do we follow?" gasped Mike, suddenly at his side, his voice rough and breathless.

Leo stood, breathing hard, eyes on the hillside below them. "No, not that way. You ok?"

Mike nodded. "S'all good," he croaked.

"I think we need to get back, quickly. I have a really bad feeling."

* * *

Lia listened to the rain drumming steadily on the roof. It drowned all other sound. Rose was engrossed in her drawing. That was good. She wasn't chattering. Lia wanted to hear everything. She was feeling less and less at ease, and while part of her mind was angrily berating herself for her fear, another part was whispering that this time it may be justified.

Justified, but not helpful.

_Not afraid. Not afraid. Not afraid._

She focussed on the spine of the sword she held before her, wondering if perhaps this was Splinter's weapon. What was it he had said that night? Learning to overcome fear took much practice.

_How do I practice being not afraid? I'm not even sure what ' not afraid' feels like._

The rain seemed to get louder. It pounded on the tin roof. Outside it grew darker. Rose looked up suddenly from her scribbling.

"What was dat, Mommy?"

"What was wha-?"

The electric light popped and shattered, plunging the trailer into shadow. The wind suddenly rose outside and the trailer swayed with a groan. Something outside thumped. Lia gripped the sword, and turned to the door just as it blew open with a crash, rain and icy wind howling in.

Rose shrieked. Someone dark and huge flew in through the open door, on the roar of the wind. Lia swung wildly at him with the sword, and was flung back onto the bed, the weight of his body crushing down on top of her, the hilt of the sword suddenly turned and pressed up against her throat. Lia screamed, and fought to push it away. She found herself staring horrified into black, soulless eyes, flat and empty, like a shark's. His face was shadowed, hidden in black fabric. The man held her down, crushing her nearly breathless beneath his weight. She could hear Rose, huddled somewhere on the floor, whimpering in terror. Her hands were held fast, his weight and strength overwhelming. He brought one knee up between her legs, and the face twisted into a leer.

_"No!" _Lia gasped back in his face. He leaned closer and she caught the scent of dark, dank catacombs, moldering with rotting flesh - -

Lia nearly retched, felt as though she was falling backwards, dizzily close to fainting. Her vision went gray and she felt his ropy arms around her, lifting her.

_No…!_

The door again - Lia's captor leaped back, releasing her. She struggled up onto her elbows, saw him crouch, perched oddly on the counter, too large to be there, Michaelangelo reaching to grab him, Leonardo crowding in behind him, shouting at him to stand back, Donatello in the doorway—

_Donatello!_

The man leaped feet first, against the opposite wall, clinging like a lizard for an instant at an impossible angle on the storage cabinet door. He sprang again, somehow eluding Leonardo's blade and jumped for the door, bowling Donatello over as he escaped.

Lia slipped off the bunk and curled protectively around Rose, backing far into the corner.

"Mommy—d- d- da –da- dats dat mans!" Lia held her, rocking, soothing Rose, and trying to calm herself.

"Don! Wait! Don't chase him!" she heard Leonardo's shout outside the trailer. Mike knelt next to her. "You ok?"

Lia nodded wordlessly, hugging Rose.

"What happened?" Leonardo was back inside the trailer.

Lia looked up "He just – just came in here. I tried - I tried to -"

"Did he hurt you?"

"No."

Donatello stepped back inside.

"Don—you –you—are you ok?" Lia asked.

"Yeah…I'm fine, thanks, Lia. It's a long story. Uh, where is everybody?"

"I don't - I don't know where anyone else is," she realized she was shaking almost too hard to talk.

"We'll find them. Come here," Mike helped Lia to her feet. Rose still clung to her like a small fluffy blond primate.

Leonarado picked up the ornate sword lying on the bunk and looked at Lia. "What did you …?"

"I-I tried – I tried to- but I couldn't-" Lia took a deep breath and got some control back, and nodded her head at the sword in his hands. "Leo, you are going to have to teach me how to use that."

Leonardo looked at the sword, and then back at her. "Ok," he said. "I can do that."

"I mean it, Leo. I hate this. I hate being so- so- I couldn't even protect my own child!"

"Ok," Leo repeated, watching her color flush as fear turned to anger.

Mike sucked in his cheeks, suppressing a smile. His eyes danced as he glanced over at Leonardo. "Come on Don, let's find your new friends before Splinter does and gives 'em something else to freak out about." Mike put a hand on Leo's shoulder, giving it a meaningful squeeze.

"I dunno," said Don. "They were right behind us, but if they saw any that, they may have already split. Poor kids." Mike and Don slipped back out.

"I'm gonna go and help them look for…" Leo paused. "Are you ok?" he asked Lia.

"Yeah. I am now. I'm just so mad at myself…"

"Lia, this will never happen again."

"I don't think you can say that, Leo. Alex sent that man. I know it. He's not going to give up. I have to find a way to…"

"No. I mean I made a mistake before. I won't make it again. The next time Skylord is anywhere near you, it will be his last time."

Lia blinked. "What do you…?"

"I mean there's only one way to be sure. There's only one way I can know you'll be safe."

Lia looked down, moving little Rose to one hip. She bit her lip. "Don't... please don't do something like that for _me_."

"I'm not. I'm doing it for me."

He took a step back. He had to get out of there. He had to stop watching her face, stop staring at her mouth trembling like fragile, pink flower, stop looking at the curve of her slender shoulders and needing to pull her into his arms again—_just stop! _

_"Leo!"_ The shout came from outside. He pushed open the door and started out, and froze.

Mike and Don were hurrying toward him, Mike helping a stumbling Sean along. In Don's arms lay the small, still, body of Splinter.

* * *

Raphael first became aware of his body being unable to move. He drifted in and out listening to the rain hitting the surface of water somewhere. He felt cold, freezing cold, and then he felt the dull pain in his legs, arms, and shoulders. For a very long time he lay face down in a shallow pool of water, unable to lift his head. Then he heard something besides the rain.

It was a snuffling sound, and the soft squashy noise of feet in the mud all around him. The snuffling sound came closer. Feeling a warm breath on his face, Raphael tried to lift his head. There was a sudden movement as something leaped back and splashed in the puddles. It approached again, sniffing and panting.

Raphael was able to put together a coherent thought. _Some animal wants to eat me, and I can't move._ He managed to close his hands into loose fists, and tried to brace them against the muddy ground. With every ounce of will, he fought to make his frozen muscles obey. He raised his head enough to turn to one side, letting his cheek drop weakly back into the mud. He snorted the creek water out of his nostrils and sucked in his first breath of air in ten hours. His next breaths were painful and sharp. He opened his eyes. Through the blur of muddy water Raphael found himself gazing into a pair of bright golden canine eyes. A large timber wolf sat on the bank above him, less than six feet away, watching him curiously.

The paralyzed turtle tried to make a noise in his throat, hoping for something growlish to scare the predator off. No sound came. He tried again to move, but found with his head turned to one side, he had even less leverage and strength in his arms. His legs lay like stone.

_This,_ thought Raphael, in his second coherent thought, _is just completely fucking wonderful. _

The wolf stood again, and approached. He snuffed at Raphael's head, his breath warm on the turtle's neck, then stepped back uncertainly. He circled the motionless reptile, and whined a little. He moved in closer again, and nosed Raphael's arm pit. He shoved his nose further under Raphael's arm, and pushed it, as if trying to get under him. His wet nose moved all around the cool reptilian skin of the turtle's arm, until his teeth found something. Raphael felt the animal licking and worrying one spot behind his shoulder, and then felt the wolf's teeth, pressed against his skin. He felt a tug, and a sharp pain, and realized the wolf was pulling on something buried in Raph's flesh.

The animal jerked back on the poison dart, dropped it, and cocked his head, looking at it. He put his nose in the water, making a strange snurfling and bubbling noise as he tried to smell it underwater. He yipped at it, splashing his front paws at it, then whined a little and shook himself off, more water droplets flying through the drizzle. The wolf then turned and trotted over to the bank of the creek again. He lay down in the grass, as the rain began to lighten and dissipate. The clouds slowly yielded to small brave patches of blue as the morning's storm passed.

The timber wolf kept a silent vigil over Raphael as the turtle slowly began to feel the blood move into his limbs again, and the fierce beating of his heart grew stronger and stronger.


	15. Chapter 15

_The Journey Home_

**Chapter Fifteen**

* * *

"Shh!" hissed Cryssie sharply. She frowned at her watch and pursed her lips. "Ok, ok, I found it…." Her brow furrowed in concentration as she held Splinter's slim wrist in her hand, fingers pressing for a pulse that to her seemed far too fast and weak.

The small group of silently fearful humans and turtles watched her, crowded close together in the confines of the travel trailer.

"What did you say he was? A rat?" she asked.

"Yes, he's a rat. Why?" asked Leonardo.

"It's just so…it's fast that's all. The heart rate seems really fast. At least for an adult….person. A child would be faster….."

"He's old," blurted Michaelangelo. He's not-"

"I'm thinking of his size and weight. I don't know what else to gauge this by."

"Here," Leonardo moved the cup of steaming tea closer to Splinter's nose.

"Don't try and force that down him," said Cryssie sharply. "Not while he's still unconscious."

"Inhaling this should help…"

"I can't imagine what good that would do," Cryssie answered, but took the cup. "What kind of poison was in the dart?"

"Paralyzing," said Leo, squatting close to the bunk where Cryssie sat by Splinter.

"It's a central nervous system depressant," clarified Donatello.

"Great," muttered Cryssie. "We should really get him to a vet…"

"We can't go to a doctor," said Leonardo. "Splinter wouldn't want us to risk going public, even for him."

Cryssie gently parted the fur on Splinter's upper leg where the dart had struck. "At least it wasn't deeply embedded. Looks like it barely scratched the skin under his coat. Hopefully he didn't get a lot of it in his system."

Adam stood leaning back against the door. He crossed his arms over his chest and exhaled sharply.

"You ok, man?" Michaelangelo asked him.

"I'm just waiting to wake up and find out this was all caused by that freeze dried stew we ate last night. Good thing you know medicine, Crys."

"I'm not a doctor."

"Her dad is, though," Adam said to no one in particular. "Should count for something."

Cryssie ran a hand through her boyish blond hair and turned toward Sean. "Ok, kid, let me see your head. Where did you get hit?"

Sean gingerly touched the back of his head. "I don't know what hit me. Like I said, I saw - ow- I saw Splinter go down, and then something whacked me."

"Ok, good, the skin isn't broken. You've got a lump here, though. You feel nauseous?" Cryssie asked, looking closely into Sean's eyes, at the same time lifting his hand to check his pulse.

"Not now. I already puked out there. I'm ok. Really."

"And you didn't see Jake?" asked Leo.

"I don't know where the hell he went."

Cryssie sat back. "Well, I don't know how we'd get any of you guys to a doctor anyway without a car. We'd have to carry-"

Casey and April will be back tonight with the car," said Mike, kneeling next to Leonardo.

Adam looked up. "What are April and Casey? Are they like-?"

"They're human," said Don. "At least April is."

"What about you?" Cryssie asked Leonardo, glancing over at his shoulder. "How long have you had those stitches in there?"

Leonardo looked at them and shrugged. "Week, two weeks maybe."

"They need to come out."

"I can get them, Leo," offered Michaelangelo.

Cryssie looked at him. "Can you do that? You know how?"

Mike nodded and smiled warmly at her. "I can cook, too."

Cryssie frowned, unsure how to respond. "Well, regardless, they need to come out right away."

"We don't worry about me until we know Splinter will be ok," said Leo.

"Whatever. And you?" Cryssie looked down at Mike.

Mike touched his throat and shrugged. "I'm fine. Its nothing."

"What's nothing?" Cryssie bent closer. "What's that?"

Mike shrugged "Chains. The guy – never mind. It's nothing."

"Let me see," Cryssie, gingerly touched Mike's chin as he lifted his head to expose his throat, obviously enjoying the attention.

Adam readjusted his position restlessly, but stayed close to the door.

"Well, it's not too bad an abrasion. Hm. OK, you, Lia, that's your name, right? Did you get hurt at all?"

"No," said Lia from the opposite bunk. "I'm fine, but Mike's got three cracked ribs he's not talking about. Is there anything we should be doing about those?"

"This guy broke your ribs?" Cryssie's eyes widened.

"No," said Mike. "That was someone else."

"I'm hungry!" announced Rose.

"Alright, who's next?" said Cryssie still with an edge of acerbic officiousness. "You guys are a mess. Y'know, I didn't even think to check you out, uh…Don. You being dead sort of threw me off." She turned toward him.

"I'm fine. I slept for three days, remember?"

"Hibernated, you said."

"The net affect is the same."

"So…what the hell is going on here?" asked Cryssie. "Some guy is after all of you, or what? Poison darts, and getting attacked? I mean-?"

"How about: _what are _you guys? Some kinda traveling circus?" asked Adam.

Don nodded reflectively. "That's not entirely inaccurate."

"Look," said Leonardo. "What we told you before is just how it is. We are traveling, and it is extremely important you not tell anyone about us. It's unfortunate you were placed in this situation, but now we must insist you honor our request for secrecy."

Despite the polite formality in Leonardo's tone, the term "insist" was not lost on Adam. He eyed the twin katana on the turtle's back and said nothing.

"They'd come after you, wouldn't they?" said Cryssie thoughtfully. "They'd have you locked up at some facility in Area 51, huh? Poking around at you to see what makes you tick…."

"Or worse," said Don.

Michaelangelo shuddered.

"They'd still have to catch us, first," said Leonardo. "But public exposure would make our lives much more…difficult."

"You say there's one more of you still missing? Do you think the guy that's been attacking you guys is from the government or something?"

Donatello shook his head. "The guy that attacked me was definitely not a government agent."

"Any ideas?" asked Leonardo.

"It wasn't human, Leo. I know that. And I know that doesn't make any sense."

It was Lia's turn to shudder and feel every hair on her arms stand up. She fought down the sudden chill she felt, biting her lip. _I'm not any good to any one wussing out. And I've wussed out, and wimped out, and run away, and acted like a damn idiot—_

Lia looked up suddenly, meeting Leonardo's eyes. He held her gaze for only a moment, before returning his full attention to Splinter. His expression left her wondering if she had spoken her self-berating words out loud, instead of merely thinking them.

* * *

They found Jake eventually, unhurt and sound asleep under a picnic table in the next campsite, not far. There were too many other concerns to spend much time worrying why he was sleeping under a picnic table in the rain. The decision had been reached to not send any one out after Raphael again until Casey had returned. That would at least guarantee two strong fighters in both the search party, and standing guard at the camp. Once the rain had stopped, the afternoon's project was building a nice roaring campfire, and drying out Aaron and Cryssie's things.

Leonardo remained at Splinter's side, Donatello and Michaelangelo taking turns sharing his watch, with the humans checking in every so often as well.

Late in the afternoon Mike, poked his head in the door. "How is he?"

"The same."

Mike came over to sit next to his brother. "Why don't you take a break?"

Leonardo shook his head.

"Hey, man. Come on." Michaelangelo said softly. "Don't try and carry this whole thing yourself."

"It was my responsibility, Mike."

"Leo, you can't be in two places at once."

Leo said nothing.

"And actually, I was kinda glad you were with me at the time."

Leonardo looked over at him, returned the little smile. "Yeah. I was glad there were two of us there, too."

There was a rustle of blankets, and Splinter drew in a long throaty breath, and opened his eyes.

"Master!"

"Splinter!"

Leonardo helped to raise Splinter into a more upright position. "Are you alright, Master? Do you feel ok? You were hit with the same kind of poison -"

Splinter raised a hand, stopping him, and grimaced slightly. "I am fine, Leonardo. As well as can be expected. I have a fairly good idea what has happened." He looked around the trailer, sitting up with some effort. "Where are your brothers?" he asked.

When Splinter had been brought up to date on the events of the morning, and everyone else had had an opportunity to be reassured he would be alright, Cryssie gave him another quick check.

"Please," the Splinter protested as she again took his pulse. "I'm quite alright, I assure you." He sat cross-legged on the bunk; alert and smiling tolerantly at her serious ministrations. "I do appreciate your concern, child. And I am most grateful for the help you and your friend were to Donatello."

The young woman gently set his arm back down. "This is…so amazing," she said, shaking her head. "Where have all of you been hiding? How have you all managed to -?"

"Hey, ya know how ya hide an elephant in a China shop?" asked Michaelangelo suddenly.

Cryssie shook her head, looking mystified.

"Very carefully." Mike grinned and tossed his head toward the trailer door. "C'mon with me. I'll tell ya a story."

Both Leonardo and Splinter turned quickly and shot him a warning look.

"Don't worry," Mike raised his hands. "Just, you know, the basics. I won't give out our address and phone number, ok?"

"_Michaelangelo_," said Splinter sternly. Cryssie looked from one to the other quickly, and rose, mumbled something about checking on the fire, and prudently slipped out the door. Michaelangelo dropped his gaze to the floor.

"Michaelangelo," Splinter fixed him in a fierce glare. "_Never_ forget who you are."

"I know, Splinter. I just…"

"In these past few weeks," Splinter went on, "we have had more contact with more humans than ever in your lives. While much of this contact would appear not dangerous, some has proven to be quite deadly. Do not forget all you have been taught. Do not grow careless merely because you are in a new place, and you see a new face before you."

Michaelangelo looked chagrined. "I'm sorry Splinter. I—I won't do that. I won't tell anyone anything...I just…I didn't want her, I mean them, to think we were weird, or freaks…or…" His voice trailed off, and stopped. Michaelangelo blinked and heaved a deep sigh. "I guess they're gonna think that no matter what." He looked at Splinter. "I won't forget who I am, sensei."

Splinter's severe expression softened. "Go, then, my son. You may speak with her. But please, think before you speak."

Mike perked up. "I could just tell her some jokes. I could –oh! I know!" Mike chuckled and ducked out the door.

Splinter stroked his chin whiskers, and sighed. "It pains me to stop him in his…enthusiasm like that. And yet it must be done."

"Caution in dealing with humans is something we all have to learn to accept," agreed Leonardo.

"Caution, yes, and maintaining a safe distance…." Splinter was gazing off into some far corner of space, beyond the walls of the small tin trailer. "And this is not difficult for you, is it, Leonardo?"

Leo looked up quickly, found his eyes locked into Splinter's. "I know what I need to do…or not do…I understand…." he began hesitantly.

"That is not what I asked you, Leonardo. I asked if this was not difficult for you." Splinter fixed his student in a rapier gaze. "There are things, my son, we have not spoken of. And perhaps it is time we did."

Leo felt he had been somehow backed up against a wall, as if the Splinter's conversation with his brother had been a deliberately choreographed to maneuver him into this position. He ran his tongue over his suddenly dry mouth. "Difficult?" he echoed, aware of how faint his voice sounded.

Splinter laid a slender hand on Leonardo's. "You are at war with yourself, my son. Age has not dimmed my eyes so much I cannot see this. Though I'm certain you had hoped I would not see."

Leo swallowed.

"Raphael, too, thought himself quite invisible. Many questions are left unanswered for Raphael, as well. Though perhaps for him those answers will be simpler to find. It is a great worry to me, but I know that if Raphael chooses to seek companionship with humans, male or female, he will simply go forth and do that, as he always has. Raphael's greatest gift is his will to survive. And that has brought him through whatever hazards his lack of foresight brings upon him." Splinter's brow furrowed. "I do worry for him now, as well, though Donatello's return has given me new reason to hope he shall soon be back."

"We will find him, Master. As soon as Casey returns, we're going back out, and we will find him," Leonardo quickly assured him.

Splinter raised his nose, pinning Leo in his gaze once again. He was not about to be distracted from his original intention. "But you, Leonardo. It is your situation I wish to discuss. For you cannot go on as you are, divided. You must resolve this conflict. You must make a decision."

"I'm trying to follow the right path. Splinter, I _know_ my duty comes first. I know what it is I must do. I know who I am responsible to, and for-."

"I am not today speaking of what you _know_, Leonardo. I am speaking of what you feel. And I see you are feeling torn in two. This is not like Michaelangelo, wishing only to be social and accepted. Something much deeper has happened between you and Lia. She spoke to me of this some time ago. You have chosen not to come to me, but I can feel it. I see it in your eyes, whenever you look at her."

Leo gulped in a breath at the mention of Lia's name. He could no longer hope against hope that they might be talking about anything else. He looked down.

"This has created a conflict for you," Splinter went on. "Such inner conflict creates distraction. It places you in danger. And it places Lia in danger as well."

Leonardo moved closer to the bunk, dropping to both knees, lowering his head. "Tell me, please," he said softly. "Tell me what you want me to do."

Splinter watched him for a moment, and then gently rested his hand on the top of Leonardo's head. "There are some things my son, which I cannot decide for you. This is one of them. You must make your decision, and then make your peace with that."

April was spreading mustard on the sandwich rolls as Lia sliced the cold roast beef. They had hastily set out the food and were making sandwiches assembly line style. Casey and April had returned in the early evening, laden with groceries, but everyone was far too hungry to wait for something to cook. They had been met with the good news of Don's return, the unhappy news of Raphael's continuing absence, and the harrowing tale of the attacks on Splinter, Sean and Lia.

The sun had sunk below the trees, though the very tops of the tallest evergreens still glowed with the last golden rays. Around the camp, the chill of evening was settling amid the blue shadows. Everyone had drifted closer to the fire, once again, for comfort and warmth.

Across the campsite, Casey whistled and called for April from where he was rummaging about in the back seat of the car.

"I hate it when he whistles to get my attention," April grumbled to Lia. "WHAT?" she yelled back. Casey's answer was muffled, as his head was still in the car.

"You go on," said Lia. "I'll finish up."

"Thanks," April said, and wiping her hands headed for the car.

"Could I have one of those?" asked a familiar voice behind Lia. She began to absently pass a sandwich behind her, annoyed that one of those unnervingly quiet turtles had snuck up on her again, when she realized which one it was.

"Raph!" she yelped and spun around, hugging his neck.

"Heh…yeah. Raph," he grinned, putting one hand around her waist, and grabbing the sandwich with the other.

"Where have you been?"

"Aw, honey, I'm sorry. I ran into a couple of the guys on the way home from work, and we stopped in at the bar, you know…." He popped the whole sandwich into his mouth.

Lia laughed. "Very funny. Really though, what happened to you?"

"Well, I did make a friend." Raphael chewed and grinned rakishly, still holding her. "Is everyone else ok? I saw Donnie over there-"

"Splinter got hit with another dart. He's ok, now, but…"

Raph's expression sobered. "Where is he?"

"In the trailer."

Raphael reached around her, snatched up another sandwich and hurried off in the direction of the trailer. Lia had a moment to catch her breath, and realize everyone was back. _We're all here…we're all ok._

Hoots and war whoops and happy shouting began to fill the dusky air. People were running. The trailer door slammed open, and one dark green turtle form came hurtling out, tackling Casey. The two went crashing down, and another piled on top. Splinter emerged from the trailer, small and dark, and silently watchful. A third, then the fourth turtle, and another human, Sean, were dragged into the tussling heap of bodies rolling in the dust and pine needles.

Casey stood, rising up from the pile of bodies like Godzilla rising from the sea. He lifted his fists, roaring triumphantly: _"We are OUTTA HERE!" _

Lia sank down onto the picnic bench, closed her eyes and offered a prayer of thanks.

* * *

"What day is it?" asked Casey, stuffing the last sleeping bag into the car trunk.

"Saturday," said April

"Man," Casey stood and looked up at the brilliant cloudless blue of the morning sky. "It _feels_ like Saturday! Feels like we put in one helluva rough work week!"

"Yesterday felt like a whole week all by itself," added Lia. She stepped closer to April and Casey and lowered her voice. "You know they want to come with us?"

"Adam and Cryssie?" asked April.

"They got any money?" asked Casey, and then shrugged and looked sheepishly at April's scowl.

"What do the guys say?" asked April.

"Well, I think Mike's in favor of it…." Lia nodded in the direction of the campfire circle where Mike was dramatically reciting the entire garbage compactor scene from _Star Wars _for any one who would listen.

"Who is he now?" asked April.

"Han Solo. No, wait. Now he's Chewie."

_"Grronnkk!" _howled Mike.

"Heh, he's in fine form," grinned Casey.

April rolled her eyes.

"Aw, come on, April," Casey poked her with his elbow. "She's got blond hair, blue eyes. She looks like a cheerleader having a real bad hair day."

"She's _attached_," Lia pointed out.

"That probably makes her all the more attractive," said April, watching Mike's antics.

"Why?"

"Safer that way. For him."

"Oh." Lia watched Mike pratfall off the rock rim around the campfire into the Death Star's sewage_. _

"Yeah, well," shrugged Casey without much sympathy. "Let's get the map and figure out where we're going."

The three of them approached the campfire, burning low after breakfast. Three turtles lounged on or against the low benches they had dragged from the picnic area. Sean, Jake, Adam and Cryssie had gathered around as well. Rose was busily climbing from one lap to another, chattering important two-year old things and getting at least as much attention as Michaelangelo. Mike stood and brushed himself off, a silly smile still on his face. Even if no one else had appreciated his performance, he at least had enjoyed it.

"Ok, listen up," Casey unfolded the map on the one of the benches. "I dunno about you guys, but I think I'd like to head south. I think we've ditched any cops that might've tried to follow-"

"Cops?" asked Adam. "There's cops after you guys?"

"Nah, that's what I'm saying," explained Casey. "I think we've lost 'em."

"I...uh…" Adam glanced over at Cryssie who returned his look impassively. "We said we'd like to come along with you guys, if you're going to California. We'd share expenses and everything, but we, uh, don't want any cops…"

"Cops are the least of our problems, don't worry," said Leonardo, which didn't seem to reassure him either.

"So, look, " said Casey. "I think if we go west first, into Ontario here, and come down this way, we can drop back into the US at Lake Superior, and be at this big old park in two days, and spend a night kickin' back."

"What's this, the highway?" asked Mike crowding in to see.

"No, that's a river," April narrowed her eyes. "The…Outaouais River, but we're not there, we're up here."

"Gee, I thought we were _way_ out-a-ways," said Mike.

Raphael groaned.

"Anyway, this looks like a good route. It'll take us south, and maybe the weather'll warm up some. I'm so sick of wearing these thermals I could puke." Scowling, Casey tugged at his jeans. "I think they shrunk when we washed 'em, too. I got a major long john wedgie goin' here."

Mike looked at him and blinked. He looked down, and snatching up a long stick, brandished it with great flourish. "Avast me hearties! 'Tis the fearsomest pirate what ever sailed the seven seas- the terrible Captain Long John Wedgie!"

He leaped aside quickly enough to escape Casey, but not quick enough to escape Raphael. As the two went down, tumbling across the ground, Donatello carefully stepped around them and peered at the map.

"What about going this way?" he pointed. "We could be at the National Forest here by Monday-"

"That's what I said, Don-Boy," grinned Casey, snatching up the map and trying to fold it.

"Here, let me," April took the map.

"How come you're the only person on the whole planet I've ever known who can refold a map the right way?" asked Casey.

"April is magical," suggested Mike from the ground, spitting out dirt.

"April has an organized mind," said Don, heading for the trailer. "You guys ought to try it sometime."

Adam looked again at Cryssie; a meaningful, pleading look.

In answer Cryssie silently mouthed _"California!"_

Adam glanced skyward in despair and followed the rest of the gang to the car.

* * *

It took nearly two hours to get off the park's dirt access road and out onto a paved road and from there onto anything resembling a highway. By noon they had turned west, emerging from the maple and aspen and evergreen forests and cutting across a broken rocky terrain with sparse and stunted looking plant life. Lichen grew on the granite boulders in bright orange and green tones.

Casey pulled off the highway and onto a side road, which took them up onto an overlook. Fortunately the area was as forsaken looking as the environment.

"The map calls this Glacial Rock National Park," April announced, as everyone emerged from the car and trailer.

"This is kinda exposed," said Mike, glancing around the open treeless land.

"I dunno. I was gettin' kinda claustrophobic in all those trees," Raphael kicked idly at a pebble, then picked it up and threw it over the edge of the steep drop.

"Well, we eat here." Casey looked around as well. Behind them the forested area rose in the east and to the north. To the south many small lakes and waterways gleamed in the noon sun. "No one's around, looks good to me."

They laid out three large plaid stadium blankets, and unloaded from the trailer sandwich fixings and sodas.

"Wanna soda!" said Rose, reaching.

"Food first," said Lia. "Then you can have some of mine."

"I wan' my _own_!" Rose argued.

"Rosie, here," said Mike. "Have some grapes."

"You got chips?" asked Donatello.

Raphael threw a bag of Doritos at his head. Don caught them neatly. "How is your head, now, anyway?" Raph asked him.

Don paused for a moment. "Really clear," he said thoughtfully. "No headache. Ever since…y'know," he turned to Splinter. "I think whatever it was, is really gone."

Splinter regarded him for a moment. "Let us hope that is true. I too, have not felt its presence since we left the camp."

"Well, I think we musta left him, or it, behind, huh, Bros?" said Casey.

"I hope," April passed the platter of lunchmeat to Sean.

"Oh yum!" enthused Sean.

"What's 'it'?" asked Adam, looking from one to the other.

"Could I have a soda?" asked Jake quietly. April handed him a coke.

"What did you mean by 'it'?" repeated Adam.

"Thanks," Jake smiled a little.

"Man, I could eat a whale," said Casey.

"I'm starving, too," Cryssie admitted.

"Well, _here!" _Michaelangelo offered her his enormous mayonnaise and mustard-dripping sandwich.

"Uh…I don't know about meat…." Cryssie gulped and abruptly stood and bolted for shelter behind the trailer.

"Oh, man…" Adam stood and grabbing a handful of napkins, followed her. When they came back Cryssie looked pale.

"Are you sick?" asked April with concern.

"Only in the mornings," Cryssie answered wryly.

"Hey, that's a myth." Adam supported her arm as she sat again. "You get sick any old time of day. How long's that supposed to last again?"

"Three months," said Cryssie looking like she might get sick again.

"Are you pregnant?" asked Lia.

Cryssie nodded. "Two and a half months."

All other conversations momentarily paused.

"Oh, wow…" breathed Michaelangelo.

"Congratulations," Lia beamed.

"Thanks," said Cryssie. It was the first time any of them had seen her smile.

Lia was aware, as the conversations drifted around her, of an absence. The more she tuned into it, the more she was aware of it, like a tangible thing, or lack of the thing. An emptiness. She had been too distracted in the trailer earlier, first with Rose, and then with listening to Raphael and Donatello describe as best they could, what had happened to each of them. Now it drew her in, as surely as nature will seek to fill a vacuum.

Lia looked at him. Leonardo's head was slightly down. He sat next to Splinter, eating, glancing over for a moment to listen to something Don was saying. His expression was neutral, still. Usually she was so aware of him. Usually, she realized, just looking at him would cause him to look at her. Where is he? Not present, but not withdrawn, not anything—

Invisible.

They were packing up the last of the picnic stuff when April took a nose count. She frowned and counted quickly again.

"Ok," she said loudly, hands on hips. "Now where's Raphael?"

* * *

He sat morosely on a cool, lichen-painted rock. The soil was thin and rocky, and the vegetation low and scrubby. He knew he was too exposed out there, but the barrenness suited his mood.

Something was bothering him, something demanding his attention, and he couldn't be around everyone else. He wasn't really sure what it was, but it seemed the events of the past few weeks were piling on top of him, as if all interconnected, and weighing him down. The picnic lunch had made the feeling inescapable. That couple that had found Donatello. Lia happily congratulating Cryssie, and Adam watching over her protectively. Something….

He drew a sai and absently poked at the pattern of orange lichen at his feet. The idle carving gradually took on a shape, an "R", and looking at it only made him sadder.

His mind wandered back to Sunni again. He had pushed all of that aside, he thought. He found himself falling into the same thought loop he had been running through, over and over, when he first learned she had been killed. Part of his brain wanted to tell him there was nothing he could have done, another part telling him he had done something wrong, somehow caused it.

That's Leo talking in my head.

_Shit._

The conversation he had had with Mike came back to him. _Silly, soppy Mike, asking if I loved her_. What had he said? He'd pushed Mike's question away.

He thought about Sunni's personal fight to feed hungry people, her own little grass roots campaign. She had given the term "taking it to the streets" a new meaning. She was determined and stubborn, and she didn't care which side of the law she fought on, as long as she could help people. She was as much a fighter as her cousin, she just threw her battle into the service of her ideals.

He thought about her teasing smile, thought about how she looked at him. She hadn't been afraid, she had challenged him, then drew him to her and given herself to him—

She wasn't afraid. She was—

_Damn…_

Raphael let the sai go, dropped his face into his hands and cried.

Voices-! And the crunch of footsteps approaching. Raphael dropped onto his belly, drawing his limbs in close, poised. It had been years since he could actually draw them into his shell, but to the unobservant, his carapace would look like just another rock. In his experience, most humans were appallingly unobservant.

Some two hundred yards below Raphael, two men picked their way over the broken terrain, carrying armloads of equipment. They weren't speaking now, but seemed to be attempting some sort of stealth as they moved slowly in his direction. Raphael raised his head slightly, hazarding a look. They carried guns of some kind, and packs. They stopped and crouched low, one opening a sack from which he produced a slab of red meat. Raphael could smell it. They tossed the hunk of meat off to the right. It landed just before a dark crevice in the rock. The two men readied their weapons, and settled down to wait.

Raphael listened. He could hear something else now. It was a faint muffled whining and a whimpering below him. It occurred to him he could rush down there now, and bust up what looked to be a poaching party in a public park, but something about the guns didn't look right. The ammunition they had loaded into it was long, with a bright red feather–like marker. Tranquilizer guns. Maybe these guys were legit. Naturalists, like those people on TV, who tag wild animals to observe their migrations or whatever. He had to fight down a visceral response to seeing any more dart-like things.

_What is it, National Dart Shooting Month? Ok, slow down. Don't do nothin' stupid. Yet._

After sometime, a tawny gold and white animal emerged from the crevice. She hesitated, backed up, stepped another foot out, and whined softly. Her black nose sniffed all around the ground in front of the hunk of meat. She pulled back into safety again. To Raphael she looked like a slightly smaller version of the timber wolf that had sat with him as he recovered from the attack with the poison dart. He wondered whose side he was supposed to be on. Did he owe the wolf some protection, even if these guys' intentions were good? He remembered watching something about Canadian wolves being released in the US and how their population was now increasing. That was a pretty cool thing for humans to do…

The crack of the shot split the air and Raphael jumped. The wolf leaped up and spun, yelping and biting at her hindquarters. Her back end collapsed under her as she kept trying to turn and bite at the dart. She kicked as she went down, sending gravel and dust flying. Her struggles became feebler, legs running slowly and uselessly as the tranquilizer took effect, and then she was still.

Raphael's heart pounded in his chest. Even if he know it was for the good of the wolves in general, it was hard to watch. _It's cool. It's cool…_

The two men approached cautiously, slowly climbing the incline to the lair, and the unconscious wolf. One had drawn a pistol, which he kept aimed at her as they moved in. The other got closer, and kicked her over.

"Yeah, she's young," one of the men observed. "She'll be good for quite a few litters."

Raphael frowned. Something was not feeling right about this again. They left the wolf lying there and turned their attention to the lair. While one man stood guard with the pistol, the other crawled into the rock, out of Raphael's line of vision. He couldn't see, but he could hear the pups whining and yipping. The man emerged with two small, black fuzzy creatures.

"Damn, they're awful young," said the other.

"So what? They're still worth eight hundred apiece. Hand me the sack. There's one more in the back."

Not cool.

Raphael exploded from behind his hiding place with an ear-shattering cry. He leaped down upon the two poachers with a fury unequaled anywhere in the animal kingdom. The two men paused for a frozen instant, eye and mouths wide, before dropping the pups, the sack, the guns, and everything else and running pell mell down the hillside.

Raphael watched their retreating forms and decided not to give chase. He lifted the frightened pups and crawling in as far as his shell would let him, replaced them in the cave. He leaned over the female wolf and pulled the dart from her flank. Laying his ear against her side he made sure she was breathing, then he gently lifted her and set her back inside the cave as well.

Raphael surveyed the equipment the men had dropped lying scattered on the ground. He chuckled in black delight and set about smashing to pieces the tranquilizer gun, the pistol, and tearing to pieces the packs and sack.

Sighing with satisfaction at the broken bits of twisted metal and ripped fabric that were the fruits of his destruction, Raphael settled down at the mouth of the cave, to stand guard until the wolf revived. He could hear the pups scuffling and whimpering, nosing their sleeping mother. Raphael grinned, rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck. Then he saw the other wolf.

He sat above the lair, on a little rise off to the right, less than a hundred feet away. The wolf lowered his head, bright eyes watching.

"Hey, fella…" said Raphael softly.

The wolf cocked his head.

"Tell ya what. I'll just be on my way now. Your old lady's gonna be ok, an' I'm pretty sure those jerks won't be back." Raphael stood, as did the wolf. "Guess we're even now, huh?" Raphael grinned and set off down the hillside.

He met Casey about a quarter of a mile from the wolves' lair.

"Hey yo, Raph!" Casey greeted him. "Say, you wouldn't know anything about two extremely panicked dudes runnin' through here, would ya?"

"Nope."

"Hmm."

Raphael's deadpan expression began to dissolve as his mouth twisted up into a smirk. "But it's probably a good idea to blow outta here about now."

"Yeah, I figured."


	16. Chapter 16

_ The Journey Home_

**Chapter Sixteen**

* * *

April yawned and reached again for the travel cup. The last swallow of coffee at the bottom was cold. The road had become a long featureless black face before her; the white dotted line provided her only sense of navigation.

_Have to stop and pull over soon, or I'm gonna lose it._

She glanced over at Sean sound asleep between her and the loudly snoring Casey Jones. The boy was half-curled around the gearshift, his tousled head fallen against April's arm.

_I wonder where his parents are._ _I wonder if they're looking for him_. _I would be._

She looked in the rear view mirror at the quiet group in the back seat. Mike's head was tilted back, mouth parted, oblivious to the harmony his snoring added to Casey's. Leonardo sat up, eyes closed, arms across his chest. He didn't look like he was really sleeping. Next to him, Cryssie leaned against Adam, both looking blissfully angelic in sleep.

I'd like to turn the radio on. Help me stay awake. But I don't want to wake those kids up. Especially not Cryssie. Wonder what their story is. Well, what ever it is, at least they've got each other.

When we stop, I'm going back into the trailer and throwing someone off one of those bunks and getting some sleep!

_We should have let Leo drive. He'd have probably done just fine. Just like he does everything._

* * *

I wish they had let me drive. At least for a while, while they highway is so empty like this. April could use the sleep. And it would be better than sitting here not sleeping and driving myself mad…

I can't shut it off.

I have no more control over my own mind than Raphael has over his….

Shuttup.

Discipline.

Breathe.

Focus.

Quiet mind….

And all I see when I close my eyes is her smile, and her body moving….

I'm a disgrace to Splinter's teaching.

I have to do better than this.

I will do better than this.

I…oh god….

I have to stop feeling this. Better to feel nothing at all.

I've made my decision. I know what I have to do.

Walk away….

….I think of walking away, and it feels awful. Heavy, like a weight, an ache in my chest. I try to stop feeling this, but like water, it only changes, seeking its own path, unstoppable.

Somehow that exquisite perfection, I know is right there, right before me, is just beyond my grasp… seems like it's always just beyond me. Why can't I do this? It happens so often. I reach for some goal, some level in my training, and I fall short…

And Splinter tells me the enemy is desire. I've never really understood that paradox, except conceptually. I can't really grasp it, in my gut. "Attain perfection without desire for perfection". It hangs before me, taunting…beyond my ability to understand.

And again, I cannot quiet desire…only now, now my body has gone mad as well. And what I want…what do I want? I don't even know. I only know, I cannot have what I want. It's the same thing. It floats before me, this delicate and unobtainable vision.

Splinter…sensei…I've made my decision. And I cannot do it.

I cannot shut this off.

_I'm failing at this._

* * *

I wonder what time it is. I don't think I've slept more than twenty minutes all night. Must be close to morning. Which means I've been obsessing for hours.

What happened? What did I do wrong?

I know there is something important between us…

…no. I must be crazy. What would he want with me, anyway? It was all my imagination. He was just worried about me. That's all. He worries about everybody. It wasn't you, silly. Get a grip.

But I know we have a connection. I know ….

Forget it. No. This is impossible.

_Did I say something wrong?_ _Why isn't he even talking to me now?_

I shouldn't have hugged him so close. I shouldn't have made it so personal….

What's the difference? He's not stupid. He can see what I am. Teenage mom. Slut. Everybody can see that.

No one's ever going to want me, except for one thing.

Especially not someone like him. He would never want anything to do with me. He's just too…good.

What does that mean, 'good'? Innocence? Can someone be innocent if they've killed someone? Can how they be good? But that's what it feels like. It's like he is just good.

And what am I?

Damaged.

I just wish he would talk to me….

Oh, no. Stop. Don't start crying again….

_Oh, hell…._

The motion slowed, a slight bumping shook the bunk as the car and trailer left the road and pulled over to the shoulder. She looked around the gloom of the trailer. No one else was moving. Carefully, Lia pulled the quilt up around her sleeping daughter, and slipped off the bunk, her bare feet on the cold linoleum of the floor. As quietly as she could she pulled on a sweatshirt and flannel, and stepping carefully over someone who slept under a heap of bedding on the floor, slipped out the door into the chill air.

Dawn had barely illumined the horizon, and a mist lay all around amid tall rushes and reeds. They were parked on the shore of a vast body of water. The surface of the lake was still, the color of pewter. The low lying, misty fog muted the sounds of traffic on the nearby highway, creating a dreamlike isolation, removed from the world. She shivered in the damp, penetrating cold. The dark sky overhead was clear, and she watched the morning star glitter over the black trees silhouetted against the pearly light to the east. Somewhere a water bird warbled its morning song, and another answered.

Behind her the trailer creaked with someone moving inside. The door swung open, and Raphael burst out, tying on his mask, one sai clamped in his teeth.

"Extra hungry this morning?" Lia asked him.

Raphael made a noise like a strangled snort, spun the sai around and stabbed it into his belt. "Dammit –what are y'doin'-"

"Sh…come here, look." Lia pointed out over the lake. Ducks flew and dipped into pearl gray surface of the water. Farther down along the shoreline a heron took off, graceful and elegant, from the reeds. The far side of the lake, miles away, was shrouded in mist and invisible. "It looks like one of those Japanese paintings in your home. So beautiful…"

Raphael exhaled and moved next to her, gazing out over the immense lake. The great bird flew with long slow wings to perch on a twisted tree, extending from the shore out over the water. "What is that, a crane?" he asked, subdued.

"It's a Blue Heron," said Lia. "Same family as a crane." They watched the bird arch its neck, its long bill reaching under its wings, grooming itself with a ballet-like grace. "They're supposed to be the guardians of the Underworld. Cranes are supposed to be able to move between worlds. Probably because they live on land and air and water."

Raphael watched the bird quietly. "The Underworld? You mean like the land of the dead or something?"

"Yeah. There are a lot of legends about birds being able to pass into the spirit realm. They can fly, and you know, you think of flying, like something spirits can do."

Raphael didn't move. "What made you think of that?"

"I don't know. Maybe the mist, how still the water looks. It looks so ethereal and dream-like here."

"You think death is like that? Dream-like?" he asked.

Lia looked at him quickly. He was still gazing out over the water.

"I don't know, Raph." She hesitated, wondering what he wanted to hear, and knowing better than to give him any response too sweetly optimistic that he could argue with. "What do you think?"

His jaw tightened. "I think its nothing. Like oblivion. When you're dead, you're just dead. But who the hell knows."

She sighed and leaned back against the side of the travel trailer. "Yeah. Who really knows."

His mouth drew back into a cynical smile. "Birds flyin' to the Underworld, huh?"

Lia shrugged. "That's what the ancient Celts thought."

"They ever bring anyone back?"

"I think so. I think that was the point. Like Orpheus and Eurydice."

Raphael swallowed; his eyes fixed on the distant shrouded shore. "That's the chick that looked back, huh? She didn't make it, did she?"

Lia found herself wishing she could have thought of another example. "No. She didn't."

"Nice fairy tale."

* * *

"I think I've realized something," said Donatello. "I think I know why I was attacked the way I was."

"What's that?" asked Leo.

"The psychic sucker punch."

They were sitting under the shade if three immense fir trees at the far end of an open meadow. They had re-entered the U.S. at Minnesota, and found a campground adjacent to the Superior National Forest that was spacious and isolated enough in places they could take a well-deserved rest from nearly three days of constant driving. There were hot showers, and a washing machine within walking distance. Everyone was elated by the amenities. While the humans had fled to the showers, Splinter and the four turtles had retreated to this dark and shadowed area. This had been their first opportunity in days for a private conversation apart from the rest.

"What the hell's a psychic sucker punch, Don?" asked Raphael. He was lying on his back, gazing up at the towering trees overhead, and chewing on a pine needle.

"Back at the cathedral-" Don began.

"What are you eatin' bushes now, bro?" interrupted Mike, snatching at the pine needle.

"Hey, watch it!" Raphael snatched it back. "They're good. Kinda tangy."

Donatello sighed.

"Go on, Don." said Leonardo.

"Back at the cathedral, remember when Skylord zapped me, just before Leo knocked his lights out?"

"Shoulda killed 'im," grumbled Raphael.

"Well, I think he did something, like set me up somehow so he could keep doing it. I really don't know how I know this. It doesn't make any sense, but it seems like he made some kind of a connection into my head, 'cause every time afterwards, when I'd get those headaches, it would feel like that first zap somehow."

Splinter nodded. "It pleases me, Donatello, that you are willing to trust your intuition on this, and not demand a logical explanation. I fear that in the realm of magic, where we find ourselves with this Skylord, logic may hold little sway."

"What do you think, Don?" asked Leonardo. "Assuming this guy—thing—whatever it was- that physically attacked us has something to do with Skylord and his zapping you, do you think he could strike again?"

"Well, I only know I do feel better just now than I have since that night. Maybe whatever it is really did give up." Donatello frowned and rubbed his chin. "I don't know how I would know that, though."

"It may not be a matter of being able to know. It may be a matter of feeling," said Splinter. "We receive information through many channels. I have always taught you not to rely on only one. The eyes may deceive. The logical mind upon which we usually depend, may make an error in judgment. You must learn to use all your physical senses, your logical minds, and your intuition, together. A Ninja's mind and body must be as a finely tuned receiving instrument."

"You mean like a radio?" asked Michaelangelo concentrating on the small fir cones he was juggling. "Hey, look: four!"

"In a sense, Michaelangelo. Though I fear that what you may be receiving at the moment amounts to little more than static."

Mike stopped juggling as Splinter's words registered. He set the cones down and sat up straighter, at attention. Leo gave him a withering look. Mike cleared his throat.

"Casey wishes to spend two nights here, resting," Splinter went on. "This does appear to be a safe place to pause. From here he wishes to drive on steadily until we reach Montana, and then take another brief respite. I see no fault with this plan."

"I like it," said Raphael. "Push hard, kick back, push hard."

"Very well, then," said Splinter, rising to his feet. "You will decide with Casey how you will handle the night watch. We will meet for practice at dawn tomorrow. Then the rest of the day will belong to you." Splinter turned. "Come Leonardo. It has been brought to my attention that those stitches must come out immediately. And you, Donatello, are next."

"Cryssie?" asked Mike, brightening.

"She was quite insistent. And unfortunately, quite correct."

Leonardo and Splinter headed toward the trailer, skirting the edge of the wide, open meadow. There was no one around, save their own small party; still they stayed well in the shadows of the encircling trees.

"I'll go get Cryssie," said Mike, standing.

"Mike," said Raphael, thoughtfully chewing on his pine needle. "Don't make a fool of yourself, ok?"

"What? She wanted to help."

"You know what I mean."

Mike blinked.

"I think what Raph means," said Donatello gently. "Is we don't want to see you get hurt."

Mike opened his mouth, started to say something, and closed it. He shrugged, waved his hand in a small gesture of dismissal, turned and jogged off.

Don shook his head, and looked down at Raph, still lying on his back. "Love is blind, heh?"

Raphael closed his eyes and grunted a monosyllable response.

* * *

The afternoon sun had warmed the wood of the picnic table where a small audience had gathered. Splinter sat perched on the table, eyes narrowed in concentration, as he removed the stitches from Leonardo's shoulder. Cryssie had in fact wanted to oversee the operation, and had arrived armed with Neosporin and iodine. Mike stood holding a small bowl of an herbal healing infusion Splinter had prepared, and which Leo had voiced a preference for. Rose had run over to see what was going on, which had given Lia an excuse to join them. She sat on the picnic bench with Rose who watched the proceedings with wide, serious eyes.

"I am certain that the older you get, the faster you heal, Leonardo," said Splinter, trying to get a sharp claw under the thread as he angled the tiny scissors against the green skin. "Though it is true these are long overdue. They are putting up quite a fight."

Cryssie dabbed the blood with a washcloth. Leonardo was doing his best not to wince.

"Hurt?" asked Cryssie unnecessarily.

"No."

"Sure." She was making an effort to be gentle. "If you don't fight it, it won't hurt so bad, you know."

"If I decide it doesn't hurt, it won't!" The edge in Leo's voice indicated his perfect control was fraying a bit.

Rose leaned closer.

"Oh-oh. Mommy. Yook! Yeo's got blood!"

"It doesn't hurt," he told her automatically.

"Yes, it does," she argued quite sensibly. "Blood _hurts_."

Leo closed his eyes.

"Last one," announced Splinter with a snip of his scissors.

Cryssie dabbed and pressed on the wound as Rose leaned over and kissed his arm.

"Dat makes it all better!" she told him.

"Yeah, it does, Rose. Thank you." He looked up quickly at Lia and Cryssie, suddenly serious again. "Not that it hurts."

Lia rested her cheek against her palm and gave him a teasing grin. "Of course not."

He found he couldn't hold back the little answering smile that nudged its way around his mouth. Nor did he want to. Lia smiled back at him.

Cryssie wrung out the cloth. "What's in this water anyway? It smells really sweet."

"A bit of myrrh and comfrey root," said Splinter. "A mild disinfectant."

"You sure you don't want any Neosporin?" asked Cryssie, frowning. "It doesn't sting and it really is the best for preventing infection. Leo? Um, Leo? You want this?"

"Huh?" Leonardo turned toward her and away from Lia with some effort. "Uh, no. No thank you. I'm fine. Splinter knows what works for us."

"Well, I'm sure this works fine on turtles, but whatever."

"Hey," said Mike suddenly. "What did the snail say when he rode on the turtle's back?"

No one answered.

" 'Wheeee!' " grinned Michaelangelo.

Lia giggled. "That's dreadful, Mike."

"I don't get it," said Cryssie.

"I'm hungry!" said Rose.

Lia sighed resignedly and stood, brushing her hair back. "Ok sweetie, let's go find you something to eat."

"I could stand a little something, too," said Mike. "Come on, I'll fix us a snack. You hungry, Crys?"

"Always."

Michaelangelo fairly bounced off the bench and led them back towards the trailer.

Leonardo stared after their retreating backs moving across the bright green field.

"Leonardo."

Leo turned back to face Splinter. "Master?"

"Leonardo, what are you doing?"

Leo dropped his head and covered his eyes with one hand. "Failing miserably."

Splinter waited patiently.

"I made my decision, like you asked. And I decided ….but I can't seem to…it's like it's so…"

"Perhaps, my son, if you were to stop trying so hard to swim upstream and simply allowed this river to take you where it will, you would have an easier time."

Leonardo looked up. "But you said -"

"Making a decision does not mean you must fight the current. There are waters all around us, far stronger and swifter than any of us. The small twig clinging to the rocks may find itself ripped apart. The twig which surrenders and follows the watercourse, may find itself new soil in which to grow."

Leonardo shook his head slowly, confused. "Surrender…?"

Splinter shrugged, white teeth glinting beneath an enigmatic smile. "Or not."

* * *

Lia couldn't sleep. Dinner had been huge, long, and leisurely. In many ways it had been a celebration. The flight from the seemingly haunted forests in Quebec had finally ended at this new, large, campground. It was as if they had looked back, and seeing that no one appeared to be chasing them, breathed a collective sigh of relief. The moon had risen enormous and glowing brilliantly over the trees. It lit the campground well enough that the frisbee game in the meadow went on long past what must have been midnight, if anyone had cared what time it was. The play and horsing around had at last quieted, and the sleeping bags and bedrolls laid out in a circle around the campfire. One by one each had eventually drifted off into slumber.

_The moon always does this,_ she thought, listening to the trill of crickets, the occasional hoot of an owl, and the low drone of someone snoring. _Everyone's asleep but me._ _I can never sleep when the moon is full_. Even Raphael, the last to go to bed, who had wandered off at some point and been gone for over an hour, was now lying in the sleeping bag next to her, his breath slow and rhythmical. A breeze gently stirred the trees overhead with a whispering sigh. The dying fire popped. She heard another sound, a soft scraping, like rock against steel. She rolled over onto her stomach to look.

About thirty yards away on the picnic bench, Leonardo sat, honing a long knife. She could see him in the light of the moon, illumined with perfect clarity as if it were daylight. Masked, katana across his back, the old wool blanket over one shoulder. Head bent forward; he appeared intent on his task.

Lia drew in a breath.

_Now._

She wriggled out of her sleeping bag, straightened the flannel shirt and tugged it down over her bare legs. As quietly as she could she tiptoed across the dew-dampened grass to the picnic table and paused, a few feet away. He looked up.

"Hi."

"Hi.

"You want some company?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said softly. He sheathed the knife and slid it into his belt as she climbed up onto the table and sat next to him. "Nice night, hm?"

"Mm hm. She looks beautiful," said Lia.

"Who?"

Lia nodded skyward. "The moon."

"Tsu Yomi."

"Who?"

"The Japanese Moon Goddess," he explained. "Tsu Yomi."

"I didn't know there was a Japanese Moon Goddess. Hm." Lia gazed up into the almost blinding silvery white of the full moon. "I guess that's a universal thing, seeing the moon as feminine."

"Actually, Amaratsu, the Sun Goddess is female also. They're both very old legends. Those beliefs go back to way before Buddhism, or even Shinto."

She glanced over at him. "You really have read a lot, haven't you?"

He shrugged a little. "I guess. Mostly just different things that interest me. I do like Japanese history and culture. Splinter taught us a lot of that, too, of course."

"You mean about Japan?" she asked.

"Yeah. Traditions. Principles. Especially the ideas that are important to the kind of training we had."

Lia nodded.

"Ninjitsu really encompasses a lot more than combat," Leo went on. "There's more to it than what most people think of as martial arts."

"What's that word? Bujo?" Lia frowned. "I read that somewhere, that there's like rules or a code…"

"You're thinking of Budo. Or Bushido, which is the Way of the Warrior. It's a code of Honor. They're terms usually associated with the Samurai culture, but Ninjitsu has its own code of Honor. It's not as well known, in fact there's a common misconception that Ninjitsu has no code of any kind. That's partly a result of the secrecy of the tradition. But I think back in feudal Japan, the idea that Ninja were without Honor, and capable of anything, was capitalized upon."

"You mean it kept people afraid of them?"

"Eh…I suppose partly. Though the Samurai were more likely to use fear, I think, to maintain control in the towns. They were the only class allowed to bear weapons."

"That's why the peasants used farming tools, right? Because they weren't allowed to have swords?"

"That's right. Kobudo, weapons style, was developed in Okinawa, himitsu no, ah…in secrecy."

Lia recognized the Japanese phrase even if she didn't know what it meant. She gave him a little smile. "You know, it seems like you guys, you and Splinter mostly, go into Japanese when you don't want me to know what you're talking about."

"Hm…well, maybe sometimes."

"Yeah, right."

"Ok. Yeah. We do. But it's for a good reason."

Lia shrugged and gazed off into the trees. "Guess I'll have to take your word on that."

"Mh hm."

"So…was it hard to learn Japanese?"

"Actually, we learned it first. It was all Splinter knew. Then we dragged that first TV down into the sewer and we started learning English. We learned a lot from the TV. That, and discarded books. It's amazing what people throw away."

"I guess so. You guys managed to furnish a whole house underground."

"Yeah, we did."

They sat quiet for a moment. Lia sighed and shivered, hugging her arms around her.

"You cold?"

Lia shrugged.

"Here." Leo slipped the blanket around her shoulders.

"I don't want to hog it all." She scooted closer to him until her bare leg brushed against his. "Aren't you cold?"

He pulled the blanket around both of them. "Not now."

Lia almost giggled. She certainly didn't feel cold now either. She cleared her throat. "You know, I don't understand; how did Splinter know all that stuff? I mean, if he grew up at first just as an ordinary rat, when he would have been exposed to the language and customs and everything, but then was transformed afterwards, how could he have remembered that?"

"Well, Don's got a theory. What does he call it…uh, latent learning something or other. He thinks every creature learns whatever they're exposed to, but the level of understanding isn't there. When Splinter was exposed to the mutagen, like we were, the information he had been exposed to was accessible to his enlarging brain."

"Whew…" Lia shook her head. "Whatever it was, it's pretty amazing. I think I'm kind of in awe of him still."

Leo nodded. "Well, I know I am. And I've known him my whole life."

Lia looked down at her clasped hands, then at his face next to her. "He told me once he had taught you how to be who you are."

Leo looked at her quickly. "Yeah. That's that's pretty much what he has taught us. It's what he's still teaching us. Splinter's wisdom is profound."

"I wonder what he would be like if you guys could live, you know, out in the open. He's probably be like a famous philosopher, or a leader…."

"He'd probably be dead."

Lia frowned. "Why do you say that?"

"The human world tends to kill off their bravest and their best."

"You mean like martyrs?"

"Socrates, Jesus, Joan of Arc, Lincoln, Kennedy, King…"

"Oh. Well, I guess I can't argue with you about that." She tilted her chin toward him. "But it's not like you guys are particularly non-violent."

"I'm not violent-" he protested.

"You're not?"

"No, not like in the sense of being out of control. Like violence being an end unto itself."

"You mean violence is different if it's directed toward some goal?"

He paused, watching her face. "I'm not sure you would understand what I mean."

"I can try to."

"Ok. I'll try to explain. What we have been trained to do, raised our whole lives to know how to do, is something very precise, something very exact and controlled. Yes, it is about delivering death, but not some machine gun wholesale slaughter. It's more like surgery. It's the clean removal of someone from this life."

"But the end result is still the death of another being."

"Yes. That is what Splinter raised us to do, to be the instruments of his revenge upon Oroku Saki. It was my purpose, the task I was trained for. It was Splinter's duty to avenge his Master's death, and so it became ours, even if it meant our deaths."

Lia closed her eyes. "I don't know. I guess I just have a real hard time with this…trying to imagine Splinter…I mean, he would sacrifice you for revenge?"

"For Honor. For the Honor of his Master, Hamato Yoshi, for his own Honor, and ultimately, for our Honor."

"That's just so...foreign sounding…it's so…" Several words came to mind she decided not to use. _Anachronistic, primitive, brutal, insane_. "I don't think I understand the Honor thing at all. The idea of killing for Honor. It almost makes it sound like you're a…a…"

"An assassin."

She tried not to react. She held her breath and bit her lip.

"Compare that to what humans did at Hiroshima and Nagasaki."

Lia shook her head. "I don't know. I think…it's all violence. It's all on the same continuum, Leo, isn't it?"

"The mass slaughter of women and children?"

"I don't know…"

"I'm sorry." He looked out over the campsite to the trees beyond. "I guess I sound pretty prejudiced against humans. It's not all humans. Just some of them. You do understand that, don't you?"

Lia glanced sidelong at him. "Next you'll be telling me some of your best friends are human, right?" she teased.

"Well, they are!"

Lia rolled her eyes.

Leonardo was serious. "There are some people who are very important to me." He paused and swallowed. "You're one of them."

She stopped and caught her breath. Everything seemed to stop.

"You know that, don't you?" he asked.

"I know...well, I thought…" she felt her throat tighten.

He waited as a kaleidoscope of emotions danced across her face in the moonlight.

"I was afraid for a while…I thought you weren't talking to me. I thought I had done something wrong…" she stammered.

"Oh, no…"

"And it really matters, what you think. It's important to me how you feel about me…"

"You've said that before."

"Well, it really does. It really matters to me, because you, I mean-"

Leonardo shifted, turning to her. "Lia…ah…can I..._tell _you how I feel?"

Lia nodded, not trusting her voice, face to face, watching his bright eyes behind the mask.

"I mean, I want you to know. I want to show you." His voice was low. "You once said I could just ask. Well, now I'm asking."

She tilted her face toward his, and felt his breath, and then his hard mouth against her soft one, and their breath together, and warmth, and his arms around her, and her body softening and yielding into him as he pulled her closer, and her lips parting –

They drew back, breathless. Leonardo glanced quickly back, his hand for an instant touching the surface of the table, his mind racing.

It's flat. We have the blanket- we could-

And then a second thought:

_Leonardo, are you out of your mind?_

Lia was gazing at her hands in her lap. "Mhm..." she murmured "Who...who taught you how to kiss?"

"Heh…well, you just did."

"Oh." Lia smiled at him.

He pulled her into his arms again, and searched her face.

"You don't have to ask," she whispered.

They kissed again, sweetly, melting, warmer and deeper.

He caught his breath, brushing back her hair with one hand. "I'm not going to be any good on watch if we keep doing this. I'm not even sure where I am right now."

Lia smiled. "Good."

"No, no. I really mean that."

She sighed. "I know you do."

He pulled the blanket up around them again. They sat quietly together for a long time. Lia, as happy and safe as she could remember ever feeling, at last felt sleepy enough to begin to doze off in his arms.

Close to dawn he nudged her gently.

"Hm?"

"Lia, I'm sorry. It's past Don's turn at watch. He's going to wonder why I didn't get him up."

"Oh…ok…"

They stood and made their way back to the circle of sleeping bags. Lia as quietly as possible slid into hers. Leo knelt beside her, glancing around for an instant. "You going to sleep now?" she whispered.

"Yeah. After I get Don up."

"Well, goodnight."

"Oyasumi nasai," he whispered.

"Oyasumi…?"

"...nasai." He touched her cheek, and kissed her, then stood and silently slipped away.


	17. Chapter 17

_The Journey Home_

**Chapter Seventeen**

* * *

Morning practice was going well. The turtles' focus was sharp. Their strikes and blocks were swift, strong and controlled. Splinter was pleased. He was especially pleased that his four students appeared to be doing so well despite the admiring audience, which had gathered in the small meadow to observe. They had been working hard since dawn, and just finished an hour of empty handed sparring. Now, paired off with four bo staves, one of which had been hastily improvised from a tree limb, Michaelangelo faced Donatello, and Raphael, Leonardo. On Splinter's barked command, they bowed to their respective partners, and assumed fighting stances, left feet forward, bo at ready. With Splinter's next word, they attacked, the crack of wood on wood and loud ki-yahs filling the morning air.

April, Lia, Sean, and Cryssie sat on a blanket on the grass watching. Nearby Rose skipped around in the grass, hunting for buttercups and interesting bugs.

"So," Cryssie leaned over to whisper to Lia. "Is this like a Karate class?"

Lia nodded, her eyes never leaving the four turtles. "Something like that."

"It's not Karate. It's Ninjitsu," whispered Sean.

April ducked her head to him, speaking quietly. "Actually Ninjitsu takes techniques from all different styles. So what you see them doing could be some things from Karate, some from Kung-fu. Lots of different things."

"Man, they _rock_," said Sean.

"Well, I don't think you can get much better than this," said April with a clear note of pride in her voice. "These guys have been doing this their whole lives."

Cryssie frowned and scratched her cheek. "Why?"

"Cause it's what they do!" hissed Sean.

"But, why?"

April lifted a hand to quiet them "It's a long story. You can ask them about it later."

Adam walked up with a steaming cup and a handful of soda crackers. He sat behind Cryssie, putting his legs around her and setting the cup and crackers on the blanket.

"Thanks," Cryssie leaned back against him. Adam wrapped his arms around her, sliding his hands down over her belly. She tilted her face back and he kissed her.

There was the loud smack of a bo finding its mark, and Don yelped "Mike!"

Michaelangelo was on the ground, Don kneeling at his side.

"Mike, you ok? Jeez, why didn't you block that?"

Mike mumbled something unintelligible as Leo, Raph and Splinter gathered around him.

April jumped to her feet. "Mike? Is he ok?" she called.

"He's fine," shouted Raphael over his shoulder. "Got a head like a battering ram."

They helped him up and Splinter guided him to one side as he protested that he was ok. Splinter glanced back at the others. "Leonardo and Donatello, two on one against Raphael."

Raphael grinned with glee, as much at the odds, as the fact that Splinter's back was turned. He dropped to all fours and spun low, catching Donatello unprepared and swept him off his feet. He snapped the bo back, and bracing it under his arm, pivoted, trying to catch Leonardo across the plastron. Leo blocked as Donatello rolled and slipped his bo between Raphael's legs, handily throwing him off his feet. Snarling, Raph leaped on top of Don, knocking him back down. Leo leaped onto Raph, hauling on his belt.

"C'mon, Raph! We're supposed to be sparring-!"

Raphael half-turned, still pinning Don under his bo. "Sure, Leo, you wanna piece of me?" He drew up one leg sharply and kicked Leo, hard, square in the face.

Leonardo staggered back, caught himself, and with a low growl, leaped on top of Raphael. By the time Splinter turned to look, there was nothing but a thrashing pile of green arms and kicking legs and rolling carapaces.

Splinter stood, folding his hands and watching the noisy melee for a moment. He spoke at last in a hoarse, resounding tone. "Hai yame!"

The three turtles came apart as though a switch had been thrown, leaped to their feet and stood at attention. Leo's eyes dropped to the ground. Donatello glanced at him, and followed suit, lowering his head. Raphael looked from one to the other, then did the same.

Splinter let them stand for several long moments, under his unblinking gaze. Just watching the silent reprimand left Lia squirming inwardly. She didn't have to wonder what they were feeling. The morning sun shone down, growing warmer by the minute.

Cryssie and Adam came up for air and blinked at the silent tableau before them; Mike sitting on the ground, bruised head in hand, Leo, Don and Raph looking quite chastised, and no one saying a word.

"What happened?" whispered Cryssie.

"Shh!" hissed April, Lia and Sean.

Splinter let them stand in the glare of the morning sun for a good five minutes before quietly declaring "Kyo no benkyo wa, kore de yameru koto ni shimasho."

"What did he say?" whispered Sean.

April frowned. "Just something about ending the lesson now, I think."

"That's all?"

April raised an eyebrow. "He said everything he needed to."

His eyes still down, Leonardo cleared his throat. "Gomen nasai…," he began softly.

Splinter ducked his head in an abbreviated bow that seemed more a curt dismissal. The turtles bowed deeply, and Splinter turned away. "Michaelangelo, please, come with me."

Raphael raised his head, watching Mike and Splinter move off across the field. He closed his eyes. "Ooh, yeah," he muttered ruefully. "He's pissed."

"No thanks to you," snapped Don.

"Hey, what? I was doin' it all by myself, right?"

"Ok, stop," said Leo. "We all screwed up. We're going to have to make it up to him, that's all." He shook his head and ran a hand over the back of his neck. "Damn."

"Leo," said Raphael. "He'll get over it."

Leonardo closed his eyes. "Raph, don't start…"

"Hey!" called April standing up and brushing off her jeans. "You guys hungry? Casey and Jake have been slaving away at the fire pit and we should probably go over there and try and eat whatever they've concocted."

"I could sure eat," said Raphael.

"Well, come on then!"

The turtles gathered up their weapons and, walking a little apart from the humans, headed for the campsite.

Lia hurried to pick up Rose, who was wielding a stick of her own.

"Come on Rosie, let's go see what's for breakfast."

"Hai yah!" retorted Rose, swinging her stick at her mother.

"Oh, no you don't. We don't hit." Lia took the stick and lifted her daughter to her hip. "I hope those guys aren't going to be a bad influence on you," she muttered, breaking into a jog to catch up. She caught sight of Leonardo heading into the trees rimming the meadow, and slowing to a walk, followed him.

In the deep shadows of the conifers it was cooler. Lia paused for a moment, listening for the crunch of needles underfoot she knew she wouldn't hear. She saw him though, through the dappled light, leaning against a tree trunk, waiting for her.

"Hey, you ok?" she asked when she was close.

"Yeah, I'm ok."

"Looks like you guys are in trouble…"

"Oh. Yeah." Leo looked down. "I hate doing that to him."

"What?"

"I hate disappointing him like that."

Rose wriggled in Lia's arms and she set her down. "I don't know that you did anything. I mean, from where I was sitting, it looked like it was Don and Raph mostly."

Leonardo shook his head. "No, it was me, too. I know when it happened. There's a moment, you know? When you have a choice, and then, its like you have no choice."

Lia leaned against the tree. "You know what I think?"

"Hm?"

"I think you guys are so connected that when one of you loses focus, it's like a chain reaction. As soon as Mike got hit-"

"Mommy, let's go," Rose tugged impatiently on Lia's hand.

"Ok, hold on, Rosie..."

Leonardo turned. "Lia, I have to talk to you later. I want to talk to you. More than almost anything. But right now I have something I must go do."

She smiled. "Duty first again, huh?"

"Duty is always first. It has to be."

"I know…. I understand." Lia bit her lip. "Just one thing. You remember you said you could teach me how to use a sword?"

Leonardo nodded.

"Do you think you could show me while we're here? I mean since we're going to be here for a couple of days?"

The small smile came back. "Yeah. Yeah, of course I can. But what exactly is it you want to know? I think you want to know how to defend yourself, right? How to deal with someone attacking you?"

Lia nodded.

"Ok, then, I don't think you want to learn how to use the sword necessarily, unless you plan to carry one around all the time."

Lia smiled. "No, I guess it wouldn't fit in my day pack…"

"Right. So what I think you really want is to learn some basic self-defense?"

"Ok. I just …" Lia swallowed. "I don't want to be afraid anymore."

"I can tell you what I know about being afraid, ok? And I can show you some stuff you can do." He looked into her face. "Ok?"

"Yeah…" She was lost in his eyes again, the last sentence barely heard.

"Alright. I can meet you back at that meadow at one o'clock, will that work?"

She nodded. "Alright, I'll get Rose down for a nap then…"

"Don' wanna nap!" said Rose quickly.

"I'll see you then." Leonardo slipped off into the shadows of the forest.

Lia stared after him for a moment and then leaned back against the tree trunk. She gazed up at the deep green canopy overhead. _Oh dear Goddess…I have never…in my life, ever…._

"Mommy!" Rose was tugging at her hand again, shattering her thoughts. "Lets go!"

* * *

He was there before she was, waiting alone at the far end of the meadow. The sheathed katana were leaning against a boulder, but otherwise he was in full gear. Lia glanced at her cut off jeans, cotton chambray and undershirt and for a moment felt uncomfortably unprepared.

_Oh well…it's not like I've got a karate gi to wear anyway._

"Hey…."

"Hi." Lia shrugged self-consciously. "Ok. I guess I'm ready."

"Ok," Leonardo smiled, then looked serious. "Well, the first thing I want to show you is just some real easy escape techniques. It's just a place to start, to get warmed up."

"Escape techniques?"

"Yeah, you know, like on the street, if someone grabs your hand, or grabs you from behind. See, the idea for you isn't going to be to try and overpower anyone. It's safe to assume anyone who is going to try and attack you is going to be bigger and stronger. Your whole game plan is going to be about not getting hurt, and getting away. You want to escape, make as much noise as possible, and run like hell."

Lia frowned. "That's not what you do."

"No," he smiled a little. "I'm not a 98 pound girl. No offense. Come here." He sat on the grass, and she sat opposite him. "This is the same stuff we taught April. The most important thing is to know who you are, and what you have, and use that. You need to know both your strengths and your limitations." He took a breath. "The first thing is to not look like a victim. Predators look for easy prey. If you're looking insecure and not confident in a potentially dangerous situation, it's like drawing a bull's eye on your forehead. But if you walk with confidence, with an attitude, the bad guy is going to look for someone easier. April said she walks down a dark street now acting as if her car keys are a set of brass knuckles. Do you know what I mean?"

"Yeah, but what if it's someone who already knows he can win?"

"We'll get to that. But the place to start is from the inside. With attitude. Ok?"

"Ok…but how do I have an attitude of not being scared when I really am?"

"You fake it."

Lia nodded dubiously.

"Lia, do you really think I've never been afraid?"

"You don't act like it…"

"Exactly. Ok. So stand up, let me show you these."

They worked on escaping from different grabs for nearly an hour. Lia finally took off the long sleeve cotton shirt, tying it around her waist. The sun was hot, and the undershirt clung to her damp skin. Most of the maneuvers were simply ways to pull her hands and arms free from another's hold, but she was surprised at how complicated such simple techniques could be. Of course, her instructor went over and over each one until he was satisfied with how she did it. As he was correcting the angle of her hand for the sixth time she started to giggle.

"See, this is the weakest point of my grip; here, between my thumb and…what?" he looked up at her.

"Oh, I just remembered Michaelangelo calling you a "slave driver". I think I'm beginning to understand why."

"Are you tired?" he asked. "You want to take a break?"

"Yeah."

"Here…" Leo turned and produced a water bottle from behind the boulder. "Take five."

"Five," repeated Lia dropping onto the soft grass. "Ok. Five." She glugged down the cool water and passed the bottle back up to him. He scanned around the meadow again before taking a swallow. Lia looked too, seeing nothing more than the brilliant green of the grassy field, and the deeper, varied shades of emerald trees. Birds called and sang from the trees and meadow and the buzz of insects droned from all around.

Leo sat down cross-legged. "I'd like to start you on some slightly more involved techniques. Just remember that you are not trying to use force against anyone. What you are going to be doing really is using a principle called wu wei. It means literally non-resistance. Practically speaking, what you do is use your opponent's own force, or strength against him."

Lia brushed a strand of hair from her eyes. "That's like someone running at you and you step aside, and he keeps going, right?"

"Yes, that's an example. But before we start doing stuff like that I want to teach you how not to get hurt while we practice. So I want to show you how to fall first."

"Fall? You mean like fall down?"

"Exactly. There's a right and a wrong way to fall." He stood up. "Come here."

"Break is over?"

"Break is over. Watch me." He did a couple of effortless looking falls, landing lightly with a soft, breathy "hai!" Lia watched, shaking her head. "Don't worry." He motioned her to join him. "This is how you start: crouch down…there, and just roll back. Real easy. We'll work up to falling from a stand. First just try and roll back from there."

Lia rolled back from a crouch a couple of times.

"OK, now when you fall back, hit your arms down flat, like this, palms down, and exhale. Don't hit your head. When you hit the ground, slap your arms to absorb the shock. Say 'Hai!' as you let the air out"

"Hai!"

"Good. Do it again."

Lia practiced a few more times. "What exactly am I saying?" she asked from the ground.

Leo knelt over her, correcting her arm position. "Nothing, really. It just creates more force when you exhale. Technically 'hai' means 'yes'.

"So…I'm supposed to throw my arms open, fall on my back and yell 'Yes!', right?"

Leonardo looked at her face. Lia's mouth had curled up into a little pixy smile. He looked away quickly, trying to suppress his own smile. "Come on, Lia. Be serious."

"I am being serious."

"Right."

She clapped a hand over her mouth to keep from giggling.

"You're not being serious."

"Yes, I am," she said, her voice muffled behind her hand.

"Lia, you want to do this, right?"

"Yes. Yes, I really do."

"Ok, then."

She started giggling again. She tried covering her mouth with both hands. It had really gotten terribly warm now. The heat burning in her cheeks was radiating over her whole face and throat and she knew it wasn't entirely from the rays of the sun.. She cleared her throat, trying to rearrange her features into a serious expression. "Ok. I'm ok now."

"So we can do this, right?" he asked, now having some difficulty keeping a straight face himself.

"Yes."

"Ok, sit up. Let's try it again."

She didn't move.

"Lia…"

She lay still, her eyes dancing as she watched him.

"Lia, look, we came out here to…ah…." He looked away for an instant, and then back at her. "Oh, hell. Who am I kidding?"

Leonardo leaned over her, his hands on the earth on either side, enclosing her. She lay very still, looking up into his eyes, her breath catching in her throat. At a measured pace he lowered has face to her, his mouth barely touching hers for an instant. She closed her eyes. He pressed down on her, hungrily kissing her mouth. Lia pulled him down closer, clinging to him as if he might suddenly leave, kissing him back with equal urgency. She touched his face, her hands ran over the ridge of his carapace, his arms, trying to touch as much of him as she could, all at once. He slipped his hand under the small of her back, pressing her against him. Lia whimpered, moving, her body reaching to answer his.

Trembling, she slowly moved her hands behind his head and began untying the knot that held his mask in place. He paused, raising his eyes to hers.

"No masks, ok?" she whispered, lifting it off.

"Ok. No masks." Leonardo buried his face in her throat, his heart thudding against his breastplate, thudding against her body-

He suddenly stopped moving and froze perfectly still.

He looked up. "Wait…"

"What?"

"Shh. Someone's coming…"

"Who-"

Leonardo covered her mouth with his hand. He was very still for a moment, listening. He quickly stood, lifting her with him, and grabbed his katana, slinging the strapping over his shoulder. He ran, dragging Lia with him, as she tried to run with him into the shelter of the trees. They ducked behind a clump of flowering brush. For several long moments he crouched was motionless, listening.

Lia sat close to him, eyes wide, trying to slow her breathing and watching his face.

"It's ok…they're leaving," he finally whispered. "It was Jake and Sean. Down at the other end of the meadow. I doubt they saw us."

Lia exhaled. She sank down onto the deep piled bed of leaves and forest debris, handing him back his mask. "Thank goodness…"

"Still not good."

"Well, at least it was someone we know."

"No. Not really." He sat down turning to face her. "This is something I need to talk to you about. Lia, you know I would trust my brothers with my life. I do, in fact, everyday. And I know we can trust April and Casey, but only to a point."

Lia frowned. "What do you mean…?"

"I mean, they're fallible. Someone who wanted to could get information from them…"

Lia shook her head, not understanding.

"What I mean is, that we still have enemies. And anyone who gets close to us is in danger. Just being associated with us puts you at risk."

"You're thinking about Sunni?" asked Lia. "But that wasn't Raph's fault. The Foot were after Jake, remember?"

"No. Why were the Foot after Jake in the first place?"

"Because they thought he had….oh."

Leo nodded. "Because they thought he had let _us_ go. It was about us. Sunni died because of _us_. She may have been only caught in the line of fire, but we were the reason. Her cousin almost died because of us, too. April was nearly killed because of her friendship with us. And the thing is, the Foot already know who you are. If they ever thought you were someone that I … cared about…" Leo closed his eyes. "I don't want to have to live with that kind of fear for you."

"But who's going to tell them? I mean, how would...?"

"We don't really know anything about these other people who are traveling with us. We don't know that much about Sean, we know nothing about Cryssie and Adam, and what we do know about Jake tells us we should have killed him a week ago-"

Lia started to protest.

"Not that we're going to. See, here's the thing. They _will_ catch him. The Foot will eventually catch up with Jake, and they will kill him. But if they think he knows anything, they'll torture him first, to find out, then kill him."

"Know what? What does he know?"

"He's been living with us for a week now on the road. He's had plenty of time to learn things about us. Better he doesn't know anything more about you. Better no one does."

"So what you're saying is we have to keep…this…you and I… a secret?"

Leo nodded. "Yes."

"Ok…from April and Casey, too?"

"They're better off not knowing."

"Your family?"

Leonardo held his breath and didn't answer for a moment, knowing he couldn't tell her 'no' just so her could save face with his brothers.

Lia lowered her eyes. "Ok, then" she said quietly, drawing her conclusion from his silence. "We tell no one."

"Lia, I'm sorry I have to ask this of you…"

"No. It's ok. How ever you want it to be."

"It's not what I want. It's the way it has to be."

"Leo…I would do anything for you. I owe you everything, and I would do anything-"

"You don't owe me anything."

Lia took a deep breath. "Ok. But I mean that. I would do anything you wanted me to."

Leonardo frowned a little and nodded thoughtfully. "Yes. I believe you would," he said softly.

He felt as though he had just stepped off some great precipice into the uncharted wide open blue, and was falling free. Touching her made it feel real. So real. The salty warmth of her skin. He still could not imagine where this could go, or what the outcome could be. The difference was, he no longer cared.

"Rose is awake by now, I'm sure…" she was saying. "I should get back."

"Ok."

"You can still…you know, teach me self defense, right, Leo? I still want to learn. I know we got a little distracted today but…"

"A little," he smiled faintly. "Yeah. Of course we can still practice. We have time."

"Good."

They headed back through the trees and where the trail split, they separated, and made their way back to camp on two different paths.

* * *

"Hey, Mike. C'mere."

Michaelangelo paused and turned toward the direction of Raphael's voice.

"Over here."

Raphael was lying on his back in the deep grass, half hidden behind several large boulders in the field.

"Oh. Hey. I was going to go help with dinner." Mike tossed his head toward the brick barbecue from whence wonderful aromas were drifting.

"Well, come here a minute."

Mike shrugged and joined Raph on the ground. "How's your head?" asked Raphael.

"Fine. Sure was a lame-o move, huh? Whack! Heh…"

"You got just what you deserved, Mike."

"Huh?"

"We all know how that happened. Don't go playin' dumb like you don't."

"Aw, c'mon Raph. Don't do a Leo on me. Splinter already chewed my ass…"

"Ok," Raphael sat up. "I'll do a Raphael: Knock it off. You're acting like a damn fool. That chick and her old man are practically married. She's frickin' pregnant! You don't wanna try and get between somethin' like that. Not that you could. An' you know what the worst thing is? She don't give a damn. No matter how big a deal she made about Don's and Leo's stupid stitches. She doesn't even see us. She's one of those people that just….she looks at you an' she sees nothing, nobody. She sees some freak show animal. Like 9/10ths of every human you're ever gonna meet. Pisses me off." Raphael paused in his tirade and turned back to Mike, saw the look on his face, and was suddenly sorry he had said anything at all. "Oh…jeez…Mike...Mike don't do that."

Michaelangelo looked down, blinking. "She's just a nice girl, Raph. That's all."

"Ok, ok. Forget about it. Forget I said anything."

There was a squeal of laughter and the light thumpering of little feet as suddenly Rose came running past them, followed closely by Lia.

"You can' get me!" Rose taunted as Lia pretended to grab at her. Michaelangelo feinted at her as she came close and she screamed in mock terror, angling off in another direction across the field.

"Runaway princess, heh?" grinned Mike.

Lia laughed. "Actually I'm hoping to wear her out. Maybe she'll go to sleep at a decent hour tonight."

"Tricks of the trade?"

"Survival."

They both watched Lia as she jogged off at a leisurely pace behind the small child running as fast as her little legs would take her.

"Don't even think about it, Mike," said Raphael.

Michaelangelo turned to him. "What?"

"That one."

"Lia?"

Raphael nodded.

"What are you talking about? She's not…" Mike's eyes widened. "Is she?"

"Lia an' me have an understanding."

"But I thought-" Mike stopped and snapped his mouth closed. It occurred to him that he might not have any idea at all what was going on. The only sense he could make of Raphael's cynical assessment of Cryssie was to write it off as just more Raphael negativity. And at this point, he really didn't feel much like talking to Raph anyway. He shrugged. "Whatever, Bro. Hey, I'm gonna go help with the dinner." Mike stood up and turned to go.

"Hey, Mike…"

"Yeah?"

"Nothin'. Never mind."

* * *

Lia was never so happy with having after dinner cleanup. Actually, she would have been just as happy not having dinner cleanup. She would have been happy changing the oil in the Chevy. She sang to herself as she filled the two pans with hot water from the kettle and swished the soap in one. Setting the pans on the picnic table she slipped the first pile of plates into the soapy one. Rose climbed up onto the table.

"Wanna help," said the two-year old and slid a few pieces of silverware into the pan.

"Ok, but lets not get it too full," Lia cautioned as she looked up at the long field before her. It was scarcely even twilight yet and the chaotic football game was still in full swing. From where she stood, it would be hard to tell that half the players on the field weren't human. Not that it even mattered. No one had taken the other campsites that were positioned around the rim of the field, so they still had the luxury of all the wide-open space to themselves.

"Oh -oh! Careful, sweetie!" Lia was brought back to the dishes as Rose's enthusiastic help slopped warm water on her. Lia exchanged the sponge for the scrub brush that had just splashed her and wiped her front with a dishtowel.

"I'n ok," said Rose confidently squeezing the sponge between both small hands. "I'n helping!"

Someone cleared his throat. Lia spun around.

In back of her, by the brick fireplace stood Jake, looking furtively around.

"Oh!"

"Hey, what's up?" Jake asked, not looking at her but over his shoulder.

"Nothing. How're you doing?"

"Well, I think I'm doing pretty good. I need to talk to you."

"Ok," Lia leaned back against the table, keeping Rose, who was happily absorbed in the warm water, behind her.

He took a few steps closer. "Look, this seems to be working. I think it's going to be ok. No one suspects me, not even Sean"

"Um…Jake…uh…I really think you should tell them the truth. I mean, it would be better if you were up front about it before they find out anyway. They'd have less reason to think you were up to something if you just told them the truth."

"Oh yeah, right, and get chopped into sushi. No way." He came closer. "How would they find out, anyway? Unless you were to tell them."

Lia bit her lip.

"Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks. I had my doubts about you, you know. I was really worried at first, knowing who you are and who your husband is. And all that stuff you did."

"All what stuff?"

Jake frowned. "Well, the weird magic ritual stuff…and then killing those guys…"

Lia's eyes widened. "Wha-? I didn't do that!"

"Yeah, right. You can say whatever. But we all knew about it."

"I suppose Alex told you that?"

"Well, yeah, when he was explaining how uh…unpredictable…you were. I couldn't figure it out, but seeing who your friends are, I guess I understand it better now."

Lia angrily brandished the soapy scrub brush. "It's a lie, dammit! Alex killed them, not me!"

Out of absolutely nowhere, four turtles seemed to materialize, circling Jake and Lia.

"What's the problem, Lia?" asked Raphael, though he wasn't looking at her; he was looking at Jake.

Jake gasped, turned ashen, and backed up right into Michaelangelo. "I didn't do anything!" he yelped, jumping away from the turtle. "I didn't touch her! Tell 'em Lia; I didn't do anything!"

"Oh, no, you better _not_ have," said Raphael, his voice dangerously low.

"Just tell us what's going on," said Leonardo, cool as ice.

"N-nothing. Really. I was just going...really…I was…we were just talking…" Jake stammered. "Lia, tell 'em I didn't do anything to you!"

Raphael grabbed Jake by the collar of his polo shirt, jerking him down to eye level. "Look, you little puke! You're lucky to even be alive! If you've stepped half an inch over the line, I'll send you back to your Foot Clan in several small containers!"

"Raph!" cried Mike too late.

Jake went another shade paler. "You know-" he choked. "She told you-!"

"Raph- he wasn't doing anything- it isn't what you think-" Lia blurted, suddenly much more afraid for Jake than angry at him.

Raphael released Jake, who stumbled back two steps.

"It's over then," whispered Jake hoarsely. "So finish it." He dropped to his knees and bent his head down. "Finish the destruction of the Takimoto family that you began with the death of my father."

The turtles looked at him kneeling before them, his forehead touching the ground, and then at one another. Lia sucked in a breath, and inched back, shaking. _They wouldn't, they couldn't…._

"Who was your father, Jake?" asked Donatello.

"Takimoto Hiroshiyama, Ninja Warrior of the Foot Clan, Elite Guard. He stood alone, the last to fall before the chamber of Oruko Saki."

There was a deadly silent pause. Leonardo drew himself up.

"He fought well, and bravely. Your father died with Honor."

Jake raised his head slowly to look his father's killer in the face. Leonardo held his gaze steadily. Jake's shoulders began to shake and he dropped his face into one hand. "I didn't know him…." he said, his voice hushed. "The Foot told me more about him than my mother had."

"What is your real name?" asked Leonardo.

"Lucas Mathew Takimoto."

"Get up, Lucas Mathew Takimoto. We will not kill an unarmed, defenseless man."

He cautiously rose, stood for a moment, and then sank down on the edge of picnic bench; too shaky to remain standing. Lia stood rooted to the spot between Rose and the others as Rose carefully poured cupfuls of soapy water into the rinse water. Jake/Lucas took a few shuddering breaths and wiped his eyes with one hand. "What are you going to do with me?"

"Depends. What are your intentions?" asked Donatello. "Why did you stay with us when you feared we would hurt you if we knew the truth?"

"I just want to get to the West Coast," he said to the ground. " I knew I'd be safer from the Foot, with you guys than anywhere else on the planet. I want to send for my Mom. I'm afraid for her, and I don't dare go home. She's safe there as long as she doesn't know where I am. The Foot want me dead…I guess you know why." He looked at Lia.

"Well, I gotta say, this was damn convenient for ya, huh?" Raphael paced between the fireplace and the table. "Free ride, free meals, free protection. Almost perfect, huh?"

Lucas/Jake hung his head. "I didn't know what else to do…I promise you, I mean you no harm. I just want to get away, get some money together and get my mother out of danger. Listen," he looked up at them pleadingly. "I only got hooked up with the Foot last January. They had this big recruitment drive after…after Oroku Saki went down. A bunch of smaller factions were trying to pull it back together. They went after family members. They came to my Mom's house. We hadn't seen my father in seven years. They talked me into joining up. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time." He shook his head. "Mom was bummed…."

Splinter had joined them, quietly seating himself on the picnic table next to Rose who was still entirely occupied with the dish water. He spoke very softly, so softly Lia wasn't sure in which language he was speaking, but the turtles obviously heard him clearly. Raphael's eyes widened in clear surprise, and Michaelangelo looked from one to the other, checking his brothers' reactions. Don looked at Leo, and Leo drew both katana.

Lia gasped.

Lucas blanched in utter terror. He looked as though he might fall off the bench.

"Stand up," Leo told him

Shakily, he obeyed.

Leonardo faced him. "Lucas Mathew Takimoto, you may remain with us and under our protection on one condition. You must disavow all loyalty to the Foot Clan, and forsake any oaths sworn to the Foot in the past. And instead you must swear absolute loyalty to the four of us, as your Masters, even after we part company, and for as long as you shall live. And this you must swear by your ancestors, and by your own blood." Leonardo turned one katana, handing it hilt first to Lucas.

Lucas carefully took the sword. He stared down at it, his breath uneven and ragged. He stole a glance up at the turtle warrior standing before him in the deepening shadows of dusk, katana at ready. Lucas licked his lips. "I swear," he said slowly, his voice a whisper. "I do now forsake all loyalty to the Foot Clan, and instead, vow absolute loyalty to…you four…for as long as I live. And this I swear by my ancestors, and by my own blood." He laid the weapon across his left palm, closed his hand around the blade, and drew it through. He watched the blood run from his closed fist, down his wrist and drip onto the ground.

Leonardo resheathed his katana, and took the other back from Lucas. He removed the dishtowel from Lia's hand and wiped the blood from the blade, then gave the towel to Lucas who numbly closed his hand over it to staunch the bleeding.

"Understand," said Leonardo, "that you will continue to be under our constant scrutiny, as you have been since you first joined us. The slightest indication of any disloyalty, any treachery-"

Lucas shook his head "No…I swear-"

"-and we will kill you."

Splinter nodded slowly, again saying something understood only by his students.

"Come with us, please," said Donatello to Lucas. "We do have some questions for you now."

Lucas left with the four turtles and Splinter, looking far more like the prisoner of war that he was, and only just now realizing that he had been all along.

Lia was left standing stunned, still clenching the scrub brush.

Rose looked back over her shoulder for a moment. "Jake gots a owie?" she asked.

"Yeah...but his name isn't Jake…." Lia shook herself out of her numb shock and tried to refocus on the dishes. "Ok, Rose, let's see what kind of damage you've done here."

* * *

Someone had put a new log on the campfire. The fire took a few moments, licking around the sides of the wood with a gassy blue greed before settling in to feast. It crackled and snapped in the night air, lighting up the campsite with renewed brightness. Those who were still awake were gathered around Splinter, listening to him speak. Cryssie, wrapped in her army fatigue jacket, leaned against Adam who was nearly asleep, lying on one side. April sat between Leo and Mike. Casey Jones, on watch, perched on a boulder a short distance off, half- listening to what was being said. Lia sat by Donatello on her sleeping bag, with Rose asleep under a quilt before her. Raphael lay on his side, propping his jaw up with one hand, turning a soda can pop-top over and over between his fingers with the other. Fatigue was winning out at last over his restlessness.

Cryssie had sought Splinter out with pointed questions about himself and the turtles and how they had come to be. Splinter told the story of their strange origin and their early years in isolation without ever mentioning what city or state they had been in, or much less the kind of housing they'd had.

Listening to this version of the story, Lia was struck by how guarded Splinter was, without, of course, appearing so. By contrast, they had all seemed far more candid and open with her when she had come stumbling into their lives. She wondered why that was, for certainly they'd had no idea who she was, or who she might have betrayed them to, when they had first met.

Cryssie was shaking her head in disbelief. "I don't understand how this could have happened. I mean, ok, I come from a scientific background, so I guess I need really hard evidence before I accept things. But how could you all have evolved, like you say, from animals, to this level of intelligence? And how could you have retained information you couldn't have understood before…"

Donatello smiled. "I understand; I know it does sound fantastic. Think of it this way: You download a program into your computer, but you can't open the file. You can't access the information because you don't have the right program. That's kinda how we began. The potential was there, it's there in every sentient creature, but the individual's level of development determines its ability to be expressed. So getting back to the computer metaphor, you install the right software, in this case, the introduction of the mutagen, which enhanced our mental capacity, and then you have the ability to access the information."

"That's the latent learning theory you were talking about, huh, Leo?" asked Lia across the campfire.

Leonardo nodded. "And that's why we let Donatello explain these things."

"I don't understand," Cryssie said. "What kind of chemical could that have been? There isn't anything that could have done that. I took years of chemistry, plus bio-science in high school and college. I've never heard of something that could accelerate growth and intellect like that."

"We have reason to believe it was extra-terrestrial in origin," said Don, and looked at Splinter who nodded almost imperceptibly his approval.

"It was _what_?"

"What if," Don went on, "there were beings from another planet living here on earth, trying to adapt, trying to blend in? Suppose they had been experimenting with human genetics, not just the chemical gene splicing we can do, but working with blanket applications of chemicals that could predictably alter their DNA patterns, assuming they had DNA composed of the same amino acids as humans-"

"Adenine, guanine, cytosine and thymine," provided Cryssie.

"Right. Suppose their intention was to alter their own physiology and form, in order to survive on earth, or even eventually become human-like enough to participate in society? Then suppose some _other _creatures came into contact with this DNA altering goo?"

"Yeah, but chemical gene splicing is done under very controlled conditions, with an isolated cell, and the new material is introduced right into the nucleus. You're talking about physical contact of your entire bodies with this stuff, and somehow it penetrated each cell? Sounds like science fiction to me."

"Yeah, it does. But how do you then explain us?"

"I dunno," said Cryssie. "I think I'd believe some kind of convergent evolution before I'd believe random contact with some chemical…"

"But that would take generations, and we were all hatched in a pet store aquarium."

"So, you're saying as a result of your contact with this ET goo, your genetics have been altered, hybridized I guess, to approximate human DNA configuration?"

Don shrugged. "We don't know that for sure. We've never had a sample under the microscope."

"It'd be simple enough to do. All I need is a good chem lab and a couple of drops of blood." Cryssie tapped her forefingers together, thinking. "You know what would be even more interesting to see would be the number of chromosomes in your reproductive cells. That would tell you right off if there had been some introduction of a human-like DNA configuration. Easy enough to get, too, since you're all males." Cryssie paused, frowning. "You do have that, right?" She looked up.

Donatello's expression froze in near mortification. Even in the uncertain light of the dancing campfire it was obvious that his face color was deepening to an odd burgundy hue. "Ahbh – ah – well, yeah." He readjusted his position and sat up a bit taller, recovering his composure. "Well, yeah, yeah, that is the question, isn't it? I mean the real answers would be there, in the, ah…reproductive cells. Yeah." He exhaled sharply. "Of course we have that."

A muffled snicker came from Michaelangelo's direction.

Cryssie gave Don one of her rare smiles. "Sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you. You take enough biology classes and you get pretty academic about everything."

"Yeah, well, we're not one of yer lab rats, Cryssie," sneered Raphael.

"Ya never know, Raph," Mike said brightly. "You might like it." He ducked quickly as a soda can flew in his direction.

Cryssie watched, nonplussed. "Well, don't worry, I'm not going to have an opportunity to find out for you anyway. I don't think I'll be going back to school any too soon."

Splinter raised his head to her. "You intend to make motherhood your full time occupation?"

"If I can…"

"I believe that is wise." Said Splinter. "I'm sure you will be able to return to your studies at some future time."

"Yeah…" Cryssie smiled cynically. "Also I don't think the department head at my university would appreciate me showing up now in this condition."

"Why not?" asked Lia.

"He's my father."

"And he does not know he is to become a grandfather?" asked Splinter.

Cryssie looked down, shaking her head. "He'd kill us both. He didn't approve of Adam in the first place."

"No kidding…" mumbled Adam from where he as lying.

"See, I was supposed to be the next doctor in the family. Or at least marry well…. My oldest sister did that. My next older sister is doing her internship at Johns Hopkins. And I'm the screw up. Every family's got one, I guess."

"Yeah. We got one of those, too," Mike deadpanned. He looked up as though anticipating more incoming missiles. "You out of soda, Raph?"

"Just remember you gotta sleep sometime, Mikey."

"Oooh, I'm shakin' now, Bro…"

"So this child was unexpected?" Splinter asked Cryssie.

"Yeah. Not that I'm unhappy about it. You'd think a biology major would have a better handle on things, but, oh well."

"Oh, well," echoed Adam, yawning.

"Such things are not always within our control," said Splinter softly. "We may bring ourselves into harmony with ki, we may be able to learn to work with it, and guide our ki to work toward our efforts, but it may not be altogether controlled."

"By 'ki', you mean like energy?" asked Cryssie.

"Ki is the vital energy that runs through our being and all through the universe. It is the life stuff of existence." Splinter folded his hands over the top of his stick, and rested his chin there. "The two of you are blessed in this, though you may not see it now. When the ki of one person is linked to that of another, it is called kimusubi. This is a state which fosters new life. When the ki of a man and the ki of a woman come together in kimusubi, a new being is created."

Cryssie leaned back against Adam. "That's a nice way to look at it," she murmured as Adam wrapped his arms around her.

Lia peeked over at Michaelangelo, but he appeared cheerfully preoccupied with annoying Raphael, who appeared determined to ignore him. She realized she was the one feeling suddenly alone in the shadows, watching Cryssie and Adam snuggle. She hugged her arms around herself, drawing her knees up.

And she knew at that moment she didn't dare hazard so much as a glance in his direction.

Nor could he, in hers.


	18. Chapter 18

_Journey Home_

**Chapter Eighteen**

* * *

Her eyes followed him, moving silently in the moonlight between the mounded shapes of their sleeping companions. She had woken up when he stirred, and watched him quietly lay back the sleeping bag, and rise. He dressed, pulling on his belt and pads, and then had lifted the blanket next to him, retrieving the sheathed katana beneath it. He fastened them in place against his back, tightening the leather through the brass rings at his shoulder. For several long minutes he had disappeared, and she had listened over the chorus of frogs, the trill of crickets, and the soft rumble of assorted snores, to the low murmur of voices. Then he had come back.

"Leo…" she whispered.

He looked in her direction, his almost shy smile curving his mouth, and motioned for her to follow him. As quietly as she could she scrambled out of the sleeping bag, and lightly hurried behind him. On the far side of the brick fireplace, out of sight of anyone who may have awakened, he took her hand. He raised a finger, signaling for quiet, and led her further off toward the shelter of the trees. Once they were deeply in the shadows and out of the light of the moon he stopped and turned to her, still holding her hand.

"Hey…" he said softly.

"Hey you, too. What's going on?" she whispered.

"It's my turn for watch, but Casey wants to keep at it. Not a good idea. Fatigue makes you less alert." Leo shrugged. "Heh, I wasn't going to fight him for it. But I am going to keep an eye on him."

"It's almost morning, isn't it?"

Leo nodded.

"Before you go back, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"I've been thinking about this since Splinter told Cryssie your story. I was thinking how cautious he was, and how he never let on where you live, or how, or anything. But when I met you, you brought me right into your home, before you really even knew who I was. I was just wondering why."

"Remember you asked if it was all my idea to help you?"

Lia nodded.

"Well, when you had gone with Mike and Don for pizza, I knew I was going to have to deal with Raphael and I knew he was going to fight me very inch of the way. So basically what I did when I got home was get down on my knees in front of Splinter and pleaded with him."

"Why?"

"Because I knew…I felt… you were there for a reason. I told you I couldn't have left you there anyway, but also it felt like _something _was supposed to happen. Helping you right then seemed important, not just for you, but for us. We were drifting, we had been drifting since we fought and defeated Oroku Saki for the last time. As a team, we were falling apart." Leo smiled a little. "I think I thought maybe you would give us something to work on to help us focus."

"Like an Honor Scout project?" Lia asked with a wry smile.

"I don't know what an Honor Scout Project is. And I think I've got a better idea now why you were there."

"You do?"

"Mh hm."

She looked down at her hands, lost in his. "You believe in fate?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Destiny. I do. Do you?"

"I don't know. I think the idea of free will appeals to me more."

His face grew serious. "Well, I think we do have the freedom to make choices. Otherwise there wouldn't be any mistakes."

"But you believe in destiny. Is that another paradox?"

He smiled in the dark. "All the good stuff is."

They stood quietly for a while in the night shadows at the forest edge.

He finally spoke. "I do need to go check on Casey."

"Ok…"

She reached for him, and he drew her close. They held each other, tightly, an incongruous match, fitting together perfectly.

In the Shadows the Dark eyeless Pits watched with

Envy, and Fury

Against the Living

Against the Souls who Dare Love,

Who Dare to Fly

In the Face of Death.

Death Claims All in the End.

Demon of the Wounding Spear

Master of the Storm Furies stirring Wind and Discord,

I, Ashmedai Shall Prevail

And Serve My Master.

* * *

Casey was not in good spirits. He was up early, despite his insistence on keeping watch all night.

He scarcely sat still for breakfast. He dumped the paper plate into the fire pit, stalked off to the car, and returned to the wooden picnic table, spreading the maps and impatiently going over them.

"Why the sunglasses, Casey?" asked April pouring pancake batter onto the flat grill.

Casey shrugged with an annoyed grunt. "Got kinda a headache."

April tried to remember if he had been drinking the night before, and decided he probably had, but at least he had been very quiet about it. It also occurred to her that she was starting to become far too concerned with when and how much he did drink. She waved the smoke from her eyes as the breeze shifted.

When the turtles returned from morning practice, laughing and fairly bouncing in the morning sun, Casey announced it was time to pack up and hit the road.

"I thought we were going to stay here one more day?" asked April.

"Nah. I think it's time to head out. I wanna make Montana by Friday."

"Aw, man!" Michaelangelo complained as he hovered near April. "Come on Casey. Let's hang out here one more day. It's so nice. We saw three deer out in the meadow this morning. One was this fawn, and it still had spots…."

"Montana?" repeated Lia with concern in her voice. She looked up from cutting Rose's pancake into small pieces. "Do we have to go through Montana?"

"Yeah, well, see," Casey pointed to the line he had marked across the United States with his yellow highlighter. "It's this big old state that lies between here, where we are, and there, where we are going." He said it a good bit harsher than was necessary.

"Oh." Lia looked down.

April glanced over at Casey again, one eyebrow raised. Loud, rude and rowdy Casey could be, especially with the guys or in the company of other men. With women he was almost invariably polite, with, if anything, a little boy charm that smoothed the edges of his rougher sides. Something obviously was bothering him.

"You don't like Montana?" April asked Lia.

"Well, it's just that Alex's primary compound is there. He's got three. The big one is in Montana."

"Sweet," said Raphael. He held out his plate for April to load up. "Maybe we should go pay him a visit."

"Let's not, ok?" said Lia weakly.

Standing next to Raphael by the fireplace, Leonardo set his empty plate back down. "Where is it, Lia? I remember you told us about a place in Montana. Where exactly is it?"

"Why?" Lia turned quickly around to look at him.

"Because I don't want us to be at a disadvantage. I don't want to go rolling into his backyard not knowing where he is, especially if he knows we're there."

Lia swallowed. "How would he know?"

"I don't know. But I want the upper hand. Where is this place?"

"About 90 miles west of Great Falls. North of a little town called Keddie."

"Can you show me?" Leo moved over to the table where Casey had the map spread out.

Lia leaned over and pointed. "It's here…there's a road that runs through here, but I don't see it. Probably too small…"

A sudden breeze lifted the map, folding it over on itself. Leo flattened it back down and set a plate and the bottle of syrup on two corners to prevent it from leaving.

"What're you worried about?" asked Casey "We're goin' through Bozeman, on the Interstate, see? It's way south of there. We're not gonna be anywhere hear 'im."

"I know, Casey," said Leo. "It's just a precaution. Lia, can you draw me a map of the road going in, and maybe a sketch of as much as you can remember of how the place is laid out?"

"You're not planning on going in there, are you?" asked Lia, searching his face.

"No. We just need to be prepared."

"Aw, Leo," grinned Raphael "I think we oughta go kick a little sorcerer ass, don't you? Just fer old times' sake?"

"I wouldn't mind," agreed Michaelangelo. "I think we owe him one. Or three or four..."

Donatello joined them at the table. "Well, not to sound too much like a wet blanket here, but if we do that, we should do some real mental preparation. That sorcerer damned near cleaned our clocks."

"Damned _near._" Raphael stabbed at his pancakes. "But we won. You worried Donnie?"

Donatello snorted. "I think I already beat the best he's got."

"We're not going looking for him," said Leonardo with as much conviction as he could muster while another part of his mind told him that a final solution was the only one he could live with. "Draw me a map, ok, Lia?"

"Ok."

Casey gave no one a moment's rest until everything was packed and readied for their departure.

"What's got into him?" Sean asked, speaking for nearly everyone.

"I don't know," said April. "But I think today it's probably best just to humor him." She beat a rhythm on the table with a pen she found, looking around the campsite for anything she had missed. Something caught her eye under the grill of the fireplace and she lifted it to see. Half-charred amid the coals was the carefully drawn map Lia had made. "Oh drat. Someone must have tossed this…"

April pulled it out, brushed it off and carefully folded it, slipping it into the back pocket of her levis. As she did she felt a small breeze kick up, and with it, a chill in the morning air. _Not as warm as yesterday_, she thought, glancing up as the wind sighed and hissed through the tallest evergreens above her. _Probably just as well we're leaving now_.

"You got your drawing?" Leonardo asked her as they settled into the travel trailer.

Lia nodded. "Yeah. It's in my pack, stowed under that bunk."

"Good."

Four Turtles, Splinter Lia, Rose and Jake rode in the trailer. April, Sean, Adam and Cryssie rode with Casey in the Chevy as they bumped over the rutted campground road.

"Damn!" said Raphael hanging onto the edge of the upper bunk in the trailer. "Casey's gonna trash the suspension drivin' like this."

"Kinda weird," said Donatello peering out his high window at the Chevy hauling them. "That car is the one true love of his life, I think."

"He would appear to be in a hurry," agreed Splinter thoughtfully from the bunk beneath Donatello's perch. He coiled his tail in a neat half circle around his legs.

Michaelangelo, sat cross-legged on the floor with the silently withdrawn Jake-who-was-now-Lucas. He rummaged in one the bags, finally finding his battered Game-Boy. "Oh well, you know Casey. He can't stay still for too long."

"You should talk," grinned Don.

"Hey, I got a restless mind. It's a sign of superior intelligence," Mike settled down with his game.

"Yeah, Mikey, an' you know what they say; a mind is a terrible thing to waste," said Raph.

Mike patted the lower part of his carapace and blew Raph a kiss.

Rose slid off the bunk and clambered over to join Mike. "Wanna play," she announced.

Mike pulled her into his lap. "Ok, I'll show ya what we gotta do here…see here's the button that makes the good guys fly…yeah. You got it. Uh oh. Watch out for those guys…."

Seated on the floor, next to the rear bunk where Lia sat, Leonardo turned to her. "Tell me what's at this compound of Skylord's, ok? What's it used for?"

Lia drew in a breath. "Why do you want to know that?"

" 'Cause he's frickin' obsessive," answered Raphael.

" 'Cause maybe planning ahead is a good idea, Raph, if we're gonna go in there?" suggested Donatello.

"You guys need to learn to be more spontaneous," said Mike distractedly, most of his attention focused on Rose and the Game-Boy. "Carpe Diem. Shoot from the hip. All hands on deck…."

_"Leo,"_ said Lia pleadingly.

"We're _not_ planning on going in there. You have my word. Just tell me what is there. Please."

Lia looked down and rubbed her forehead. "Everything. Food, supplies, power generators, it's an armed survival camp built into the mountainside. It's Alex's answer to Armageddon. The schools in California and New York are only the first step. That's where students are taught that all stuff I told you about Alex's philosophy: the power of the will, domination by the strongest, survival of the fittest, the weak must be subjugated to insure the survival of the species. He uses all those esoteric teachings to prove his beliefs about the natural order of things. And they learn some basic martial arts, some weaponry. But the real survival training happens in Montana, after they graduate from one of the other two places."

"Weapons?"

"Yeah, lots of weapons. The whole place looks like a garage sale at a military base. Alex's big plan is to survive the End of the World and for his followers to be the seeds for the Next World. He will, of course, be the supreme ruler. Like I said, he's a little grandiose…"

"What kinds of weapons? How many?"

Lia shrugged. "I don't know…there's like maybe two hundred people living there at a time, and all the men have guns…"

"Guns?"

"Yeah, lots of guns. I don't know what they all are. Machine guns, automatic rifles. I think he's even got some weird rocket launcher things. He wants to keep the hoards from the cities out when the computers all crash and the infrastructure collapses and the black helicopters start rounding everyone up into internment camps." Lia grinned. "You know, I actually used to buy in to all that?"

Leonardo was deadly serious. "How long since you've been there?"

"Almost three years." She looked down at her hands and tore at a cuticle.

Leonardo looked across the trailer at Splinter. "So if he was still amassing weapons and equipment, he could have even more now…."

"So what were you doin' there, Lia?" asked Raphael. "Not learnin' how to shoot a semi-automatic machine gun, I'm guessin'."

Lia kept her eyes down, and said nothing for a moment. "All that stuff, Raph, that you read in my manuscript…that's where it happened."

Donatello tapped the edge of the bunk pensively. "I guess we can understand why you don't want to go back there," he said quietly.

Mike looked up for a moment. "I never did read that…"

"You don't want to, Mike," said Raphael.

Leonardo felt it first like a knot in his stomach, then like a white heat rising in his chest and head, his heartbeat and breath speeding up. He could feel it in his hand, the comfortable weight of his katana, the grip against his palm, the imagined motion in his arms, clean, swift, the smell of blood and the scream of pain, as in his mind he watched Alexander Skylord fall. He would let him lie there a while, bleeding, before delivering the _coup de grace…._

He exhaled sharply, and blinked, shaking off the suffocating rage. He had known for weeks exactly what Skylord had done to her, and usually he managed not to think about it. Certainly he didn't need to be reminded of it just now. Leo looked up and met Splinter's concerned eyes.

Suddenly ashamed, Leonardo quickly dropped his gaze again, wondering how Splinter seemed to know so well what he was thinking.

_This is not how we were taught. Not rage, not bloodlust…._

* * *

Somehow they had gotten on the subject of death. They had been rumbling on for hours, and it had seemed everyone was all talked out, and growing drowsy with the endless drone of the tires beneath them on the highway. Then Donatello had said something about oblivion, and the ultimate loss of self in death, and Splinter had said something about the illusion of self-hood. Lia had said that that was perhaps what frightened her the most about Death, that even if there is reincarnation, we forget who we are, and we ultimately lose our selves, and everyone we know.

"That just seems so…sad," she said. "To lose everyone. I don't like thinking about Death." She was sitting on the floor next to Leo, both with their backs against Raphael's bunk, both making an effort not to sit too close.

"Aw c'mon, Lia," teased Raphael, lying behind her on his back on the bunk. "You said Death was the place where birds can go and bring you back…."

"Say what?" said Mike, sprawling on his side on the floor of the trailer.

"Lia thinks little birds can bring back the dead."

Lia gave Raph a playful poke in the shoulder, and he grinned. "That's a legend. It's Celtic folklore," she explained.

Mike sat up, looking around at everyone in the trailer. "I wouldn't like losing everyone…." No one answered him, and the unasked questions hung in the air for several moments.

"Death must be like….the most intense…I dunno…." Raphael was lost enough in thought to have forgotten his usual taciturn withdrawal from anything philosophical. "…intense experience. The final big bang, y'know?"

"We _know_ you have a death wish, Raph," said Don.

"No. Not a wish…" Raphael stared up at the ceiling of the trailer.

"This is important to you guys, though, isn't it?" asked Lia. "The whole idea of dying with…with Honor? Seems like death is very important to you in a way that isn't like how most people think of it. I think most people see it as a bad thing to avoid for as long as possible."

Donatello propped his chin on one hand, looking down over the side of his bunk. "I think the difference is that most people don't see their death, or their lives for that matter, as having an impact on others. People seem so disconnected, from their families and from who they are. Dying with your dignity intact, not losing your sense of purpose, is as much for those you leave behind as for yourself."

Lia's brow furrowed. "You mean like leaving behind a legacy for your family?"

"Or like honoring your family, honoring your parents."

"I don't even know where my parents are," said Lia, trying not to sound like it bothered her.

"Think of it this way," said Leo. "It's like dying in the act of upholding what you hold highest. Does that make any better sense?"

"But could you have that kind of control?" asked Lia. "Seems like you'd almost have to plan it out, like know what was going to happen, and arrange for death deliberately. That'd be like suicide."

"Death by choice is an option, if it's the only honorable way," said Leo.

Lia closed her eyes and shuddered.

"Death before dishonor," said Lucas very quietly. It was the first Lia had heard him speak since the confrontation at the barbecue pit the night before.

"You know what we're talking about, don't you?" Don asked him.

Lucas nodded, and raised his eyes. "Yeah. I wish I didn't, but I do."

Lia looked over at Leonardo. "Yeah, but _suicide_? You wouldn't ever…do that…?" She saw the look on his face and wished she hadn't asked.

"Bottom line, if you've lived your life in accordance with what you believe, then that's how you will die." Leo's eyes were unfocused, far away. "There's a quote; its Aristotle. 'Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do.' It's like if your life speaks for who you are, so should your death."

Lia sighed deeply. She didn't like the conversation much. Death already felt like a constant specter with these four warriors; always near. If not theirs, someone's death.

"Lia, if you had a choice, how would you want to die?" asked Leo quietly.

"I wouldn't!" She thought for a moment and then said, "with love." She kept her eyes down, afraid of what her face would reveal. "I mean, I don't really know what I mean by that. But I know, at the end, I would want to be doing, being, some how, an act of love…."

"Perhaps," said Splinter from the other side of the trailer. "That is what you hold highest."

Lia gazed across the interior of the travel trailer. Splinter's luminous dark eyes shone back at her, and she knew in that moment, beyond any shadow of doubt, that he knew. He knew everything. It struck her as odd that she didn't feel alarmed, but rather reassured.

They rode in silence for a while as the shadows of the phone poles and the sunlight flashed hypnotically light and dark, light and dark through the window.

"Do you think Casey's gonna drive straight through the whole day?" asked Michaelangelo.

"Sure seems like it," mumbled Raphael.

"Does anyone else think he's acting weird?"

"Not for Casey."

Donatello sat up and looked out the small window over the upper bunk at the red car flying down the highway. "No, Mike. I think you're right. He's acting weird even for Casey."

* * *

Casey finally pulled off the road somewhere in the middle of North Dakota. They had stopped only once for gas all day at a station which, while it served the humans' needs well enough, left no possibilities for the mutant passengers to relieve themselves.

Where he had stopped now was almost as bad. It was a tiny weather-beaten café, sitting like an odd carbuncle on the endless pale green of the plains. There was an outside pay phone, and a battered Ford pick up truck parked outside. The tinny strains of some sad country song drifted from the screen door. The late afternoon sun washed the landscape in a soft gold, and the air smelled of dust and fresh green growth.

"There is not so much as a bush out there, much less a tree!" groaned Donatello, his nose pressed to the small window above his upper bunk. "There's no cover at all for miles."

"There damn well better be some food out there somewhere," growled Raphael.

"Well, there's a lot of wheat…" said Mike, peeking out the door.

It turned out to be much less of a problem than it had appeared. No one had any trouble making his way to the facilities around the back of the building. While one by one the invisible passengers stepped out to stretch their legs, and Casey paced impatiently outside the trailer, April and Cryssie used the phone.

"Well, that's just great," announced April as she hung up and Cryssie slipped into the phone booth.

"What's that?" asked Casey, looking down the long stretch of highway to the west.

"Robyn's phone is disconnected. Oh, I knew I should've called her sooner. I just had so many other things on my mind."

"You think she's moved?" asked Lia, wrapping Roses' Popsicle stick in several layers of paper toweling.

"No, she probably just forgot to pay her bill. My sister can be a real flake sometimes." April sighed with annoyance. "Oh well, we'll try again when we get a little closer."

Cryssie was on the phone for quite a while as Casey walked around restlessly. He finally went inside the café and reappeared with a beer in hand.

"So, am I driving now?" asked April. Casey waved her off with an indifferent grunt. He still wore his dark glasses.

"Um…I can drive," offered Adam.

"Nah. Ferget it." Casey threw back the beer and went back inside for another.

Cryssie got off the phone looking thoughtful. "Now, that's weird," she frowned.

"What's up?" asked Adam.

"Well, I called my little sister, 'cause I know she wouldn't tell anyone where I was. She told me Mom and Dad are moving. They're in this big rush to get everything together and relocate. I guess Dad's been offered some pretty important position with a research corporation in Nevada, called D.A.R.P.A. Just kinda weird, you know. I didn't think Mom and Dad would ever leave their comfortable suburban home. Shows what I know, huh?"

"D.A.R.P.A., huh? I might have heard of them…something like Department of Advanced Research something," said April.

"Ok, let's roll!" announced Casey heading for the car.

"Is everyone back in the trailer?" asked April, sheltering her eyes against a sudden dusty gust of wind.

"I'll check," said Lia, scooping up the sticky- fingered child.

"Here," said April, handing Lia two large white bags. "For the guys. And Jake. I mean Lucas."

* * *

She leaned against the rough bark of the tree, hugging her arms around herself, and staring at the mountains rising in smoky shades of purple and gold to the west. The sun had not yet climbed over the lower ranges behind her, though it's light illumined the landscape, and the early morning mountain air still snapped with the evening's chill. They had stopped in an isolated town nestled in a little valley, and surrounded by low-lying mountains. The small burgh boasted a market, a gas station, a five-and-dime, a feed store, three bars and two churches. It was in the bare dirt parking lot of one of the white clapboard churches that Casey had finally pulled off the road and stopped. Poplars bordered the lot that the church sat on, isolating it from the surrounding houses. April had stepped out of the car looking half-asleep, her wavy black mane in disarray, and her attitude was thoroughly disgruntled.

"Now he's sleeping!" April grumbled at Lia. _"Now_! He drives all night, then passes out here in the middle of next door to nowhere, and I can't even get him to move over so…oh, _grr_!" She gestured in the direction of the market half a block down. It was housed in an arching white Quonset building, looking more like a small 1945 airplane hangar than a grocery store. "I'm gonna see when they open. Assuming this town wakes up sometime before noon!"

"Hey, uh, April?" Lucas poked his head out the trailer door. "Can I come with you? They, uh," he glanced back inside the trailer. "They say it's ok."

April nodded. "Yeah sure, Jake, I mean, Lucas. C'mon."

Lia watched them walk away, and then turned her attention back to the mountain range before them. It made her uneasy, and the uneasiness was oppressive. The Rockies were too close.

"Where the hell are we?"

Lia jumped and spun around, heart thudding.

"Aw, jeez. Don't look at me like that, Lia."

"Like what?" She caught her breath, managing to smile at Raphael.

"Like you think I'm gonna eat you or something."

"It's not you, Raph. I'm just a little jumpy." She rubbed her eyes and then frowned at him. "What are you doing out of the trailer? We're right in town."

"Yeah, like anyone's gonna see me."

Lia looked across the street at the neat little houses, and then down the block where Luke and April had gone. Where they stood they were fairly well concealed behind the travel trailer. "It is sort of a ghost town at this hour. I have no idea where we are, but up there," she pointed to the West. "That's the Rocky Mountain Range, I'm quite sure, so we're somewhere in the middle of Montana."

Raphael was quiet for a moment, gazing at the mountains. "You scared?" he asked.

"No. Yes. Being this close to…it just makes me uncomfortable, that's all. Like remembering a bad dream. It gives me a bad feeling."

He scratched his chin. "Look, uh, Lia, I, I'm not real good at this, but I wanna apologize fer that night, y'know, at the campground."

Lia blinked at him.

"I've just been, you know, thinking about it, an' I know I tried to put something on you, an', I didn't think…I get an idea in my head sometimes, and I just do things. Everyone tells me that. I just wanted to…you know, ah..."

Whatever he was trying to say battled for a moment in his head. A strange expression had come into his pale eyes she hadn't seen before. She wondered if she was finally getting a small glimpse of the Raphael that hid beneath the rough bluff and bluster he wore more often than the red mask. He swallowed hard.

"I didn't mean to scare you. I'm sorry, ok? That's it."

"It's ok, Raph. You didn't do anything bad. I mean, _I_ felt bad afterwards 'cause I had freaked out on you."

"Really?"

"Hey, is this a private conversation?" Michaelangelo asked, joining them cautiously. He glanced around the deserted street for a moment.

"Well, it was," said Raphael, sounding annoyed.

"Cool." He bit into the apple he was holding and gestured back at the trailer. "Leo an' Splinter are into some major soul search in there, an' I just had to bail."

"What are they talking about?" asked Lia.

Mike shrugged.

The car door opened and Adam, Cryssie and Sean emerged.

"Hey, what's going on?" Raphael asked as they walked up. "Where's Casey?"

"Sound asleep," said Cryssie. "Look, I've got to find a bathroom before I explode."

Adam tossed his head toward downtown. "We'll try the gas station."

Sean rubbed his eyes and yawned enormously, nearly falling against Michaelangelo who caught him. "Yow…"he mumbled. "Your homey is one spun freak."

"Whatcha mean?" asked Mike.

"He wouldn't stop. April was finally yellin' at him an' he yelled back an' told her to shuttup."

"Case _yelled_ at April?" Mike's eyes widened.

"Nah…" said Raphael. "He wouldn't…did he?"

"I'm not jivin' you. He's bent. She tried to tell him he'd went the wrong way and then he just went all cold an' quiet. Creepy. I think it scared Adam and Cryssie. They wanna split. I may go with 'em."

"I'll check it out." Raphael headed for the Chevy's driver side door. Across the street a black sedan pulled up and stopped in front on one of the houses and Mike lowered himself to a crouch beside the trailer's rear wheel.

Lia looked from Mike to Sean. "You said he went the wrong way? Where are we?"

"April said we were on Route 2 or somethin' and we were supposed to be on the Interstate, but we're not. I dunno…."

Lia swallowed "We're North. We're way far north. I knew it…."

"Take it easy, Lia, it's ok," said Mike reassuringly.

She looked around suddenly. "Where's Leo?" Her voice shook.

"I'll get him, ok? It's ok—" Mike turned and looked in the direction Raph had gone. "Uh oh…"

A block away, April and Lucas were being escorted back to the car by three men with long barrel shot guns.

Mike dashed to the trailer door, and Lia realized the fear she had felt had not been for herself. She ran after Mike, and Sean ran after her, all three jamming into the trailer.

"We got trouble," Mike announced. Leo and Splinter were already on their feet

"Three men, with guns on April and Lucas," said Don from his lookout perch.

"Quietly!" whispered Splinter. "Where is Raphael?"

"Out there still, somewhere."

Outside by the car they heard the crunch of gravel underfoot, and then voices.

"Well, just so we don't have any misunderstanding here, this here's a peaceful, God-fearin' town, an' we want to keep it that way," said one older man.

"Listen," April's voice was a bit louder than usual, as though she wanted to be heard. "Like I said, we're not looking for trouble. We were driving all night and just needed to rest."

"Well, ma'am, our church parking lot ain't no rest stop. So we'd just appreciate it if you take Charlie Chan here, and that other dark skinned individual Thomas saw lurkin' around, and head on out of town now."

"What are they talking about?" whispered Sean, pressed up against the sink.

"Ah…I think we're in a very intolerant corner of the world," said Don. "One of the locals must have seen one of us and didn't know what he was looking at-"

Leo exhaled sharply. "We have to get out here somehow, and take them down without causing a scene. Damn guns."

"I can go out and get Raph, Leo," whispered Mike.

"Don, where are they exactly?" Leo asked.

"Can't see 'em now. Hold on…"

Standing over the bunk where Rose was beginning to wake up, Lia looked at Leo. "You don't like guns, do you?" she whispered.

"Hate 'em." Leo was peering out the tiny window over the sink.

"Why?"

"They're clumsy. Any fool can become deadly. There's no skill, no art, no …ah…"

"Honor?" she asked.

He almost smiled. "You said the "H" word."

"So who've you got hidin' in here?" the man's gruff voice was suddenly right outside the trailer door. Everyone froze.

"No one," said April, her voice shaky. "Just some kids."

"Kids, huh? More kids like this slope head?" The man's tone had an ugly sneer.

Silently Lia mouthed, "I'll go out."

"Mommy?" mumbled Rose, sleepily lifting her head.

"Shh, sweetie. Stay here just a minute." Lia's hand was on the latch. Leo laid his on her arm, stopping her. "It's ok, I have an idea. I'll get them away from the door," she mouthed, and slipped out the door.

Two of the men appeared to be somewhere in their 40's, weather beaten, and grim. The third was younger, 20 something. All three held rifles, the barrels pointed downward, but menacing nevertheless. April looked pale, though perhaps more from anger than fear. Lucas stood very still, eyes lowered, appearing once again to do his best to look invisible. He was wearing Casey's sunglasses.

"Excuse me," said Lia in her snippiest, most aggravated tone, carefully closing the door behind her. "Do you mind keeping your voices down? You're waking up the baby."

"Well, Miss, we surely didn't mean to do that. You see, we just want to make sure there's no trouble here-" one of the older men began.

"Look," Lia went on haughtily. "You just take this conversation over there!" she pointed toward the street.

The second man looked slightly abashed, and took one step back. "That'd be fine, Miss, but you will have to move the vehicle-"

_"Look out! They're shooting!"_ yelled Lucas, suddenly diving for the ground, as a sound like gunfire shattered the air. In a panic the three men turned and opened fire on the trailer, gunshot ripping into the thin aluminum walls. April screamed and stumbled back.

Lia shrieked _"No!"_ and Lucas grabbed her violently from behind. She screamed as a black bag came over her head and his hand tightened around her throat, choking off her cries. He dragged her, kicking and fighting across the parking lot, the thunder of the guns and the metallic ringing of bullets riddling the walls of the trailer, and April's screams filling her ears. She heard a car door open, and the arms around her shoved her into the back seat, holding her down. The car jerked into motion, and the engine roared. Smothered inside the bag, her face rammed against the seat, one arm was twisted behind her, everything spinning crazily. She couldn't scream- she couldn't move-gasping- dizzy-

Blackness.


	19. Chapter 19

_Journey Home_

**Chapter Nineteen**

* * *

Through the velvet warm depth she heard a voice. Muffled voices, conversation, television? No. Men's voices. Droning, movement, sensation…so deep a place to come back from.

_Ow. Head hurts._

"Come on, take the hood off her. She's out cold."

The reply, which sounded less like language than an echo, was closer, but garbled.

"Look, we don't want to her to suffocate. Take the damn hood off." His voice was familiar…someone…long ago….

"Your concern for her is not merely on behalf of your Master, is it?" The second voice had a strange, hollow sound, like different voices all speaking at once.

"Just _take it off_."

Lia felt rough hands jerk the black hood off her head, heedlessly pulling her hair in the process.

Cool air. She gulped in a breath, and tried to open her eyes. They wouldn't cooperate, and what she could see made no sense. Burgundy red leather… She tried to say something, a soft moan seemed the best she could do.

"How much of that stuff did you give her?"

"Enough to make sure she's no bother."

Lia squeezed her eyes shut and opened them again. She could make out the back of a car seat, and the curly black hair of the driver above her.

She looked down the length of her body at the person sitting next to her, nearly on top of her. It seemed to be Jake, but it wasn't somehow. There appeared to be two faces, one superimposed over the other, like a double exposed photo, like_…that's not possible. My eyes aren't working._

"Ja- Lucas…?"

He swiveled his face in her direction, a strangely mechanical movement, and she could see his eyes. They were black, flat black, like a shark's –like that Thing that had attacked her-

Her heart pounded, she jerked, and found she couldn't move. Her hands were tied behind her back, her legs immobilized-

Jake opened his mouth. Something long and black slithered out of his mouth- a long sinuous tongue, sliding out of his hideously grinning lips. _That smell-_

Lia shrieked and convulsed, terrified, and the Jake Thing laughed, the tongue snapping back into his mouth like a rubber band. She fought to pull her hands free, trying to move- trapped –

"What the hell are you doing?" shouted the driver, twisting his head around to see.

"Playing…" was the low, multi-voiced reply.

Lia turned her face into the car seat, panting, shuddering, trying to think. _Where am I? What's happening? This is not a dream…._

"Lia," said the man in the front seat. "Lia, don't be afraid."

She tried to slow her gasping breath, cleared her throat. Now she knew whose voice that was. "Sam?" she rasped.

"Yes, it's me. It's Sam. Don't worry. It's going to be all right. We're taking you home." He turned back for an instant giving her a forced, optimistic smile.

"Home…?"

"Yes. Alex wants you back, Lia. Everything is going to be fine."

Lia felt a chill of fear wash over her far more profound than the terror she had known moments before. She found herself trembling violently, shaking so hard her teeth rattled.

_No, please, no …_

* * *

Crouching concealed next to the open driver's side door Raphael had watched the grim parade pass by. Three men, carrying a rifles, walked purposefully behind a tight-lipped, angry, April O'Neil, and an expressionless Lucas. Raph had shaken Casey, who was sprawled over the steering wheel. He shook him again, harder.

"Mmph? Murphel mzzp?" Casey had a finally begun to come to. When the shooting started, Casey's eyes flew open.

"Holy shit!" Raphael stood, looking back at the trailer and the sudden chaos erupting. He jerked Casey out of the car by his arm, giving him barely an instant to grab a baseball bat from the floor.

Raphael bounded from the trunk of the car to the roof of the trailer, and Casey came running up from behind. His bat connected with the first man's skull, as Raphael leaped down from above, landing on the second, and sending him crashing to the ground. Raphael ripped the gun from his hands, and spun around as the third gun barrel was leveled at him. He caught it with his sai, snarling, shoving up and back, and throwing its owner off his feet. Casey knocked the man on the ground back three feet with the violent force of his blow, and the handle of Raphael's sai smashed into the jaw of the third. It was over very quickly.

Casey caught April in his arms as Raphael tore open the door to the trailer. The inside was in shambles, cabinets and windows shattered, the walls resembling Swiss cheese. Three turtles and a rat lay flattened on the floor, protectively covering a screaming two-year old and a trembling ten-year old.

"Everyone ok?" cried Raphael.

"We're fine," Michaelangelo answered from the heap.

"Cool. Uck. Can I get up now?" said Sean.

"Master?" Leonardo reached for Splinter.

"I am unhurt."

The pile of bodies disentangled themselves, Mike lifting the sobbing, hiccupping Rose into his arms. She clung on to him, burying her face in his neck.

"Where's April?" asked Don.

"She's fine," said Raph. "Where's Lia?"

"M-m-mommy?" gulped Rose.

"Where is-What the hell were they shooting at?" asked Raph, looking around at the devastation.

Mike gestured at the wall. "The trailer. Did a darn good job, too."

April stepped inside, shaking, Casey still holding her. "How is-? omigod!" Her eyes swept around the inside of the trailer.

"We're ok, April," said Leo. "Where's Lia?"

April gulped. "Lucas—Lucas grabbed her, he dragged her off into a car- "

_"What?" _cried Leonardo_._

At the far end of town, a wailing siren rose and fell.

Casey leaned out the door, looking in the direction of the fast approaching police vehicle. "Time to make tracks guys!"

"Wait!" Both Leo and Raph pressed past him to stand outside, looking up and down the street.

"Lucas grabbed her?" repeated Leonardo.

"Sonovabitch!" snapped Raphael, taking a few tentative steps toward the street.

"April!" shouted Leo. "Which way did they go?"

"Get back in the trailer, guys!" shouted Casey, jumping out. One of the three gunmen was raising up unsteadily to his knees. Casey paused to punch him hard in the nose, and he dropped again like a rock to the ground.

The siren howled, someone slammed a house door nearby, and someone else yelled.

"We gone!" shouted Casey leaping into the Chevy. Leo shoved Raphael back into the trailer as it jerked into motion. Spinning a wild turn in the church parking lot, spraying rocks and gravel, Casey took off, the trailer bumping madly over the curb.

"What about Cryssie and Adam?" yelled Sean.

"They're gonna have to catch the next bus," said Raphael, hanging onto the bunk with one hand and April with the other.

"This sucks…" muttered Michaelangelo, sitting on the floor holding Rose close to him.

Leonardo leaned up against the bunk, looking stunned.

The trailer careened wildly to one side, turning, and again everyone was thrown forward as Casey came sliding to a stop, brakes squealing.

"Oh, crap," Donatello pulled himself up onto the upper bunk to see out the window. "Never mind," he called down. "We've got Cryssie and Adam."

The sirens grew louder around them. The trailer lurched into motion again, accelerated, turned a wide angle leaving everyone clinging onto one another and what was left of the trailer's interior before straightening out and roaring back out onto the two lane.

Leonardo was staring numbly into some distant corner of the universe. Raphael, standing at the opposite side of the trailer turned a furious look on him.

"Real smooth, Leo. Just frickin' terrific."

Leonardo looked up, uncomprehending. "What?"

"Leo, you've done some stupid shit, but not killing that little puke when we had the chance is about the stupidest!"

"Raph," said April reproachfully.

"Uh, oh," said Mike quietly.

"If anything happens to her, Leo, it's your fault this time!"

"Raphael!" said Splinter sharply. "That is enough. What's done is done."

Raph's eyes widened, unbelieving. "Aw, Splinter! Why do you always gotta take his side?" His voice cracked.

"You speak with respect to Master-" Leo began angrily but Splinter waved a hand to silence him as well.

"As I recall the decision to quietly observe Lucas' actions was mine," said the rat. "If you are angry, Raphael, you may direct that anger at me."

Raphael sank back against the bunk, drew in a sharp breath and jammed the heel of one hand against his brow, closing his eyes. "Ok…ok…" He took in two more deep breaths. "But you know where they're going, an' you know he's gonna kill her this time."

"We don't know that, Raph," said Donatello.

"The hell we don't. _I _know it."

No one spoke for some time, each lost in their own thoughts, and holding on for dear life as the trailer tore over the highway, nearly catching air as it hit rough spots. The sirens began receding in the distance.

"They're giving up," said Don, sounding puzzled. "That's really weird."

"Don't complain," cautioned Michaelangelo. "Does Casey know where we're going?"

"I doubt it," said April. "And I can't figure out how a 1956 Chevy hauling a travel trailer could have outrun a police car." They listened, and indeed, that seemed to be the case. The sirens were gone.

"Ok, then…" said Leonardo slowly at last. "We're all on the same team, here, right?"

"Yeah."

"Yes."

"Let's go do it."

He moved over to the rear low bunk, dropping to his knees on the floor and pulling out Lia's backpack. After looking in every section and zipper pocket and sorting through her clothes and writing pads, he paused. "It's not in here. She said she put it in here…"

"What's that, Leo?" asked Mike.

"The map she drew to Skylord's fortress."

"Oh!" April reached into her back pocket. "You mean this? Someone had thrown it in the fireplace back at the campground."

Leo took it from her, unfolding the discolored paper.

"She threw it in the fire?" asked Mike, watching Leo's face.

"I guess she still doesn't really trust us, huh, Leo?" asked Don.

Leonardo shook his head, and swallowed hard, staring at the paper in his hand. Things were bad enough. He wished Donatello, just for once, would keep his thoughts to himself.

* * *

Lia didn't know how long they had driven. The discomfort of her awkward position, lying tied up hand and foot, and the pounding in her head, was little more than a distraction from the horrible sense of dread she felt. All she could see through the dark tinted windows were the trees, flying past, all around, but she could tell they were climbing in elevation. She finally remembered the gunfire, moments before she had been grabbed, and that brought a still greater despair. Putting all her energy into prayers for the safety of everyone else proved to be the best she could do for herself, as well as them. She didn't have to think about where she was going.

The sharp right turn off the main road and up the rutted drive brought back the stomach crunching fear. She knew this road too well, a mile and a half of dusty washboard through the open high meadow to the main house, and behind that, carved into the wall of the mountainside, lay Alexander Skylord's little kingdom. And she knew, too, that after their last encounter, when the turtles had defeated him, after she tricked him, and drugged him, this time there would be no quarter granted. He had appeared quite ready to blow her to bits that night in the cathedral, after awakening from the sleeping powder. Who knows what he may be planning to do now, after having had two weeks to think about it.

She felt the car pulled around the loop in front of the house, and stop. Samuel turned around to the back seat.

"It's going to be alright, Lia, really. He just wants you back."

"Right…"

The Lucas Thing hauled her out of the car and threw her across his back. Lia looked at the huge pine wood house, gleaming in the afternoon sun. Warm wood tones and large windows, the high peaked roof painted a sky blue; it was an oversized cabin built in a heavy style Lia had secretly dubbed Neo-Viking. Lia watched the surrounding mountaintops, barren gray above the timberline, bobbing up and down against a brilliantly blue sky, as they climbed the stairs.

_Don't think, don't feel…._

Through the heavy carved doors, into the entry hall, and a left turn to the dining room, the Lucas Thing carried her. The walls, the ceiling, the floors, all the furnishings were wooden, decoratively carved and massive, intentionally larger than life. Stained glass decorated the windows, splashing bright colors against the gleaming floor and walls.

_I hate this room…._

Samuel, scurried ahead to announce their arrival, though he knew he needn't have bothered. Their presence was picked up by Skylord's surveillance equipment long before they had even turned onto the dirt road and passed the heavily armed guard shacks scattered across the meadow.

Alexander Skylord sat in his great, carved wooden chair before the dining room table. He leaned back, stroking the long, fair moustache that concealed his mouth. He was dressed in black, his long blond hair tied back. His eyes glittered darkly beneath his fierce white brows. Skylord was obviously not in good humor.

Lia was dropped unceremoniously to the floor before him. He gazed down at her with a look an iceberg could have warmed.

"Ah, my wife," he said with a false mildness.

The Lucas Thing sidled up and leaned close, the long black tongue slipping out for a moment, licking its lips. Skylord regarded it with disgust, but when the Thing snickered and withdrew its tongue, he allowed it to whisper something in his ear. It apparently was not good news. Skylord's face darkened and his breath quickened.

Samuel stood at his side, glancing between Lia, crumbled on the floor, her eyes down, and the increasingly agitated Skylord. "Uh...Alex…" he began hesitantly.

Skylord fixed his gaze on Lia and spoke. "You may go, Samuel. You have done well. I thank you. I would like some time alone with my wife now."

"Alex, I was thinking that perhaps-"

"I said you may go now." Skylord stood, and lifted a long hunting knife from the oaken table. "Go. Both of you."

Samuel and the Lucas Thing slowly backed out of the dining room. "Close the door," ordered Alex. "But wait at the staircase until I call you."

The double doors shut with a resounding finality.

Skylord bent over Lia, roughly lifted her arms behind her back, and cut the ropes at her wrists, then the rope around her ankles. She rubbed her wrists, but still dared not look up. He stood over her, his breathing hard with suppressed rage.

"Do you have any idea what you have done?" he asked, his voice shaking with emotion.

Lia shook her head, trying hard not to tremble, trying to keep her teeth from rattling in her head.

_Don't act afraid…_

"LOOK AT ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU!" he shouted.

She looked up at him, knowing what came next.

"You are _MY WIFE_, DAMMIT!" He struck her with the back of his hand, hard, across her face. She went sprawling onto the floor, dizzy with the shock.

"What the HELL do you think you're doing? I was ready to forgive you, Lia, for running away. I was ready to let it all go and start over. But you," Skylord bent over her and grabbed her hair, pulling her face up. "You had to get clever. Slip something into my drink! What the hell was that, anyway?"

Lia closed her eyes, waiting.

"ANSWER ME!" He shook her.

"Valerian, belladonna, and mandrake…"

"Argh!" Skylord threw her down. She caught herself, hands braced against the floor.

"Do you have any idea how close I came to killing you that night?"

_Yes, and I know who stopped you…_

"I probably should have, but I didn't. For that you should be grateful! And now I hear, what's this? What the hell, Lia?" He caught her by the jaw in one hand, closing off her throat, jerking her face toward him. "You are allowing some _animal _to TOUCH you? Some… unholy _freak-?_ ARRGH!" His fist struck her and her head snapped to the side. She felt the world turn a dizzying gray, saw stars and blacked out.

He snatched her up by the shoulders, shaking her violently. "What the HELL is the MATTER WITH YOU? After everything I've done for you! After I save you from your miserable little life on the streets and brought you into this Holy Place! AND THIS IS WHAT I GET?"

His face was livid, his eyes wild. Lia knew he was long past all reason. She opened her mouth to speak and he punched her in the stomach. She doubled over. The heel of his hand came down hard on the back of her head and she collapsed to the ground, gasping, sobbing.

She wasn't going to beg, she wasn't going to give him that, but it tumbled out of her mouth. "Alex…stop...please…" she gasped.

"SHUTTUP!" He drew back a booted foot and kicked her. She yelped and curled into a tighter ball. "You'll do more than plead with me before I'm through!" Skylord turned abruptly away, paced across the room, tugging on his mouth, steadying himself, struggling for control. "_Now_ you will listen to me. _Now_ it will be all my way. I have been generous before. No more." He circled the heavy dining room table, and turned toward her. Lia shrank against into the wall, hiding behind her hair. Shakily she lifted her arms, to shield her face, knowing the futility in the gesture.

"There is something you need to know," said Skylord, moving close to her, speaking slowly, deliberately. "I have been granted a boon, a reward, if you will, for my service to certain entities. First, _you _have been promised to me. There is nothing you, nor anyone, may do about it. You will remain with me now for the rest of my days. Second, that….creature…will die. This was my desire since that night at the cathedral, but now, in light recent events…more than ever, it must be destroyed." He knelt down and she cowered as he roughly took her face in his hands. "Your supposed friends are on their way here now. I have put the word out on the Militia Network that they are to be allowed to come in. We have the cooperation of law enforcement now, Lia. And we are ready for them. They come here now to meet their doom. And _that_ one's death has been _promised."_

Lia shook. One cheek stung where the salty tears touched the open cut, the other throbbed with a dull pain. She could taste blood in her mouth. She knew the price she might pay if she spoke, but she couldn't hold her tongue. "Wh-who promised you this Alex?" she asked unsteadily.

He straightened. "A power greater than any on Earth. A power which cannot be defeated and which, I have come to see, will triumph in the end."

Shuddering, Lia covered her face with her hands. "Alex, you don't mean that…"

His hands closed around her shoulders again and he jerked her to her feet. "I do, Lia. More than any words you have ever heard me utter." He turned to the door. "SAMUEL!" he bellowed, making her jump.

Sam's fearful face appeared at the double doors.

"Take her upstairs to my room. Make her ready for me."

The horrified expression in Sam's dark eyes verified what she suspected she must look like. He braced her around the waist with one arm and guided her toward the staircase. She tried not to lean on him, tried to walk on her own, but her legs were weak and rubbery. She had to let him almost carry her. When they were well out of earshot he whispered to her. "Why didn't you just go along with him, Lia? Why didn't you just agree with whatever he said?"

"Sam…" Lia whispered thickly, as she swallowed a mouthful of blood. "Shuttup."

"Alex."

Skylord spun around. "N- What are you doing here?"

"Observing."

Skylord quickly wiped the spittle from his mouth. "You know what she did?" he asked, gesturing toward the staircase.

"Actually she has done nothing, so far. A word of caution. Ashmedai would just as soon you killed her outright. That would suit him."

"You mean he lied?"

"No. He didn't lie. He was aware, though, of the effect that information would have on you, that's all. I believe I told you that that turtle would be problematic. I just didn't tell you why." N took a long breath and moved slowly around the dining room table, eyes hidden behind the ubiquitous dark glasses. "This will be our last visit, Alex. Before I leave though, I have some information I need to give you."

Alex took a long breath, feeling suddenly deflated. He gestured half-heartedly at a chair and sat opposite N.

"There have been some changes in certain situations, Alex. The opposition has upped the ante."

"Who is the opposition, N?"

"Our rival organization."

Skylord reached for the wine flask. "And they would be?" He looked up. "A name, N. The least you can do is give me the name of the organization I am working in opposition to."

N smiled, running a hand over his mouth. "Very well. If we call our organization Thanatos, the opposition might be called Eros."

"Eros. Love."

"Life's desire to grow, expand. The instinct toward life."

Alexander Skylord shuddered. With unsteady hands he poured himself a glass.

"I have one final assignment for you."

Skylord looked up. "Go on."

"With regards to your wife, the little Fairy Princess you have up there: You must not allow her to leave here without bearing your seed."

Alex's features relaxed. A mirthless smile twisted his mouth. "Once again, N, we are in complete accord."

N didn't smile. "But I am very serious. This matter is not in my hands, it rests in yours. And it is vitally important. You must not let her leave here, without your child in her womb."

"But she will not leave here. I have been promised she will be with me for the rest of my life."

N rose. "I am going now, Alex. It has been my great pleasure doing business with you." N extended his hand and Skylord took it. N smiled icily. "Just be sure of that, Alex. Farewell."

* * *

Four turtles sat on the floor of the trailer, Lia's neatly drawn map in the middle of them, along with the road map. Adam and Cryssie sat on one bunk, Rose now in curled Cryssie's arms and April and Casey stood, gazing down at the map. They had pulled off the highway, taken a side road into a darkly wooded area not far from a rushing stream. All around the mountains rose, challenging, fierce.

"Ok," said Casey. "So it looks like we're gonna have to double back along this road and pick up the highway here," he pointed to the larger map. "Damn. Wish I had known that when we took off outta that town. They're gonna have about a two hour lead on us."

"Well, just drive like you did yesterday and we'll probably pass them," said Mike.

"How was I driving yesterday?" asked Casey.

"So you really don't remember?" April looked up at him.

"No…I dunno. I just remember thinking we needed to get going. It was like really important to get to Montana as soon as possible." He shrugged.

April bit her lip. She sighed and patted his arm. "Well, I was really angry at you. Now I think I'm just worried."

"Yeah, well, let's worry later. _Now _we need to get moving," said Raphael.

Casey scowled and ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know what it was. It was something weird. But it's gone now."

"I'm guessing whatever _it _is, it's got Lucas now," said Michaelangelo.

"I've got a pretty good idea what it is," said Donatello.

"Yeah, well, _it _can _keep_ him. Rotten sleazeball, double crossin'..."

"Ok," said Leonardo. "This isn't productive. Let's get back to working out this plan. It's gonna be dark by the time we get up there as it is. Now, assuming this guard shack is still here, and it's connected to the main house by an intranet system, Don you'll be the first to move in, from here."

"Come on Leo," said Sean for the fifth time. "Let me help. If Raph and Casey are one team, and Don and Mike are another, that leaves you without a partner."

Leo shook his head. "No. Thank you, Sean, but it's too dangerous. We can't ask anyone else to risk their lives. These people are very serious."

"Look," said Adam. "I know I seem like I don't care, but I do. If you want me to help here, I will…"

Cryssie turned to him wide-eyed.

Splinter lifted a slender hand. "Your concern is appreciated, both of you. And we thank you for your offers. But without training, your presence could prove to be a far greater danger, not only to yourselves, but to all of us."

"So Raph and I come in from here?" asked Casey, pointing to an area to one side.

"Yeah, and then once Don gets into the system, I want to move toward the main house, from here, and here."

April brought a hand to her brow. She had been through this before, and it never got easier. First, the bizarre events at the campground in Canada, then there was the frightening change Casey had undergone the day before, now, the sudden abduction of the young woman they were supposed to be driving home. Here was another reminder that the four, no, _five_ guys she cared about more than almost anyone in the world, were going forth to risk their lives again. It was almost overwhelming. Her mind wandered back to a thought that had over the last few months been an increasingly familiar theme.

_What if I lived a normal life, with normal people? What if I knew people whose lives weren't always on the line…?_

With an effort she pushed the thoughts away, feeling traitorous for even thinking like that. This was her family. Period. And now, especially, they needed her support.

"Ok," said Leo. "Everyone understand what their position is?"

"Yeah Leo, alright, we got it. Come on, let's get rollin'!" Raphael was going a hundred miles an hour standing still.

"We need to be sure- we have to get this right-"

"Let's GO, already!" shouted Raphael.

Mike gazed down at the map. "We've got about 200 armed men in here, right?"

"Right."

"And some kinda high techie surveillance system, right?"

"Surveillance and communications," said Don. "Which hopefully we'll take out in the first five minutes."

"This is crazy…" murmured Adam.

"Actually," Mike smiled brightly. "This is becoming our area of expertise."

"Can we please just GO NOW?" Raphael grimaced between clenched teeth.

"Hey," Casey knocked Raph lightly on the carapace. "You got it bro. Head 'em up and move 'em out!" Casey swung open the door. "Yee-hah!"

Casey, April and Aaron and Cryssie headed back to the car, and they set off, pulling onto the highway, to backtrack until they could get back onto the main road heading up the mountainside.

Leonardo sat cross-legged on the floor of the trailer and closed his eyes. He breathed in deeply, sank deeper into himself, and found the in words of Sun Tzu a quiet mantra.

In movement, be as swift as the wind;

In slow marches, be as majestic as the forest;

In raiding and plundering, be as fierce as fire;

In defense, be as firm as mountains;

In camouflage, be as impenetrable as darkness;

When striking, be as overwhelming as thunderbolts.

Repeating the words, gently setting aside all else, repeating the words until the words faded, and he slipped into a deeper, still quieter state.

Splinter watched him, and far back in his mind, found again the darkness that had haunted him now for a week. Something foreboding, something heavy and gray, lying below the surface, just outside his awareness.

* * *

The cold water stung. She had been dreading looking in the mirror, but it was inevitable, she would have to.

_Ok…that's not too bad….well, ok, it's pretty bad...it's…_

She stifled a sob, and quickly splashed the water on her face again. At least it would wash away the blood from her split lip, and cheek, maybe help the swelling to go down…

_Don't think about it._

"Lia," Sam called from the adjacent bedroom. "He wanted you to wear this."

She didn't answer.

"I'll put it on the bed here…"

Lia stared in the mirror. _Maybe that eye won't turn black…._

"Lia, there's something I want to tell you…"

_Not now Sam, please…._

"Something Alex told me about a year ago. I don't know if you know this. He didn't seem to think you did. But it seems really important, and I thought, before you make any hasty decisions, you should know…"

Lia opened the bathroom door, leaning against the door jam, looking at her long ago friend. He looked much the same as he had four years ago when she had first met him. He was short, slight, warm and friendly as ever. Only now she saw in his agreeable helpfulness a self-serving manipulation.

"He uh… well now, you look better now…" Sam cleared his throat. "Come on out. Sit here, ok?"

Lia walked numbly out and sat on the edge of the massively carved four poster bed. She fingered the pale sea foam green nightgown Sam had set there and suppressed a shudder of revulsion. _Don't think about it…_

Sam sat next to her. "Alex told me this because he said he needed one more person to know, besides himself. He told me, when he first met you - remember that night I brought you to that first presentation in the auditorium?"

_I was thirteen years old, and I thought I had met God…._

"He said he knew immediately there was something special about you, something uncanny. And later he recognized what it was. Lia, do you know what your ancestry is?"

"Irish, Sam. That's all."

"Alex said you are of Faerie blood, Lia."

"Fairies?"

"Not like Tinkerbell. He meant like descended from the Picts, the old race that lived in Ireland and Scotland before the Romans came."

"So?"

"He said it made you special. I'm not sure exactly what he meant, but he thought it was important. It was one reason he knew he had to get you back; to help you develop those qualities." Sam looked down. "Lia, you _do_ know, I _hope_ you know this: Alex truly loves you."

Lia rose abruptly and flew back into the bathroom.

"Lia?" called Sam. "Are you ok?"

She hung onto the sink, looked again at her bruised reflection gazing back at her, and fought to steady her voice. "No, Sam. I'm really not. Will you please leave me now? Please?" She wouldn't want anyone to see her like this. She wouldn't want-

For an instant she could see _his_ eyes, light, light, crystal blue—

"Lia-?" Sam stood in the open door.

_"Get out!"_ she screamed, grabbing the first thing she could, a ceramic vase, and flung it at him with all her strength. He ducked and it shattered against the door. "Get out! Get out! Get out!" Lia charged at Sam, flailing her fists against him. He stumbled hastily back across the bedroom, fumbled with the door and fled. She heard the latch click on the outside.

Lia stood, staring at the heavy door, shaking, her heart pounding, panting. And then it was too much, she covered her face, sobbed, turned and collapsed onto the bed, curling into a small little ball.

* * *

Only his breath now, slowing, in and out, slowing, deeper, into the emptiness, released from his body, floating, slowing, in and out, Ego Mind falling away, slowing…

_Pain_— jarring him out of the deep still place- pain and despair- sharply driving into his heart- a black, black hopelessness— _Ah gods, no! Don't let her be feeling this—no! Not like this…._

* * *

She lay back on the great bed, staring at the high beamed ceiling. Looks kinda odd right now. Someone changed something in her room for some reason. She closed her eyes. There, that's better.

Mom should be calling me down to breakfast soon. It's Saturday, right? Feels like Saturday. I can smell the waffles. Cartoons….

And Daddy's coming this weekend. Right Mom? This is the weekend Daddy is coming to visit…He's coming, isn't he, Mom?

Mom?

This isn't real. My body hurts…I'm not…

I _am_ twelve years old, and lying in my bed, waiting for Mom to call me down for waffles and Daddy's coming this weekend…

Some Other voice whispering. From someplace…there is a choice here. I can make a choice….

Saturday morning and waffles is such a nice place to be...but...not exactly right….

There's some great doorway, like an archway, and I'm standing there, and I can pass through this now, and it will be my room and I'll be twelve and waiting for my Daddy to come for me…

That other voice is calling behind me. If I look back there – it hurts. It hurts there, but this Other is standing there…

_Turn around._

She opened her eyes. The high beamed ceiling again. The dull ache. She moved her hand and found the silky fabric of the green nightgown.

Alex said he'd come back again, later.

She pulled the nightgown back up around her shoulders, covering herself.

He'll be coming back any moment now, and there is no way out of here…unless I go back to twelve years old, to that other place...

No, wait. There's that broken vase. There's probably a few sharp pieces still lying on the floor. It wouldn't be that hard. I could even pour a bath. Pour a bath, find a good sized shard…

_Don't do that._

She brought her hands to her face, covering her eyes. I can't do this. There has to be some way out. Madness, Death…there must be a third option. They always come in threes.

_Fight._

Fight? Fight for what…?

_For yourself. _

My self...

_For your self. You have to fight._

I can't…

_Yes, you can._

I don't know…

_He cannot take you from yourself._

He cannot...

_You're not alone._

Not alone…

_You can do this._

I can...do this.

Being deeply loved by someone

gives you strength, while loving

someone deeply gives you courage.

**Lao Tzu**

**Quotes: Sun Tzu from ****_The Art of War_**** and Lao Tzu from the ****_Tao Te Ching_**


	20. Chapter 20

_The Journey Home_

**Chapter 20**

* * *

The water pump gave out two and a half miles past the last gas station, and fifteen miles short of their destination.

Up until the moment the vehicle slowed to a shaky halt, Splinter had attempted to take command of the clamoring emotional states of his four students by insisting they all follow him in meditation. Only Leonardo had agreed without protest.

Once the four had finally settled in and were sitting quietly on the bouncing and jolting floor of the trailer, Splinter closed his eyes, centered, and breathed deeply. He took himself down to the quiet place within, and once there, and no longer aware of the trailer's movements and noise, he focused on each of his students in turn. He had hoped the exercise would help them to center and focus their intention before going into battle. This proved not to be the case.

Michaelangelo, always so aware of his body, and of others around him, drifted in and out of intention. He made some effort at the task, but was far from struggling with it. For him it was fine if he succeeded, but also acceptable if he didn't. In one way Splinter approved of the non-judgmental manner in which Michaelangelo viewed his own shortcomings, in another way he recognized it as something fueled more by laziness than spiritual wisdom.

Beneath the casual attitude toward the meditation exercise, worry hung like a weight around Michaelangelo's heart. He had no illusions about the dangers that they faced, though he was not overly concerned with that. His concern was for the vulnerable humans he and his brothers were committed to keeping safe. And especially for the one whose life seemed in peril, perhaps more now than ever.

He told himself it would all go well. They knew the enemy; they had faced him before, and won. Yet he could not shake the anxiety he was feeling, the sense that something fateful was going to happen tonight.

Donatello, with deliberate and careful intent, tried to silence his ever-questioning mind. In meditation, Donatello's favorite playground became a battlefield as he fought to eradicate the very process he most dearly loved. And the problem, though he didn't like to admit it, was that once he was able to reach a point where the constant dialogue in his mind quieted, what surfaced were some less than pleasant feelings. In truth, as much as he loved thinking, meditation was uncomfortable for him. Too often it opened him to a melancholy he usually managed to avoid.

Tonight though, there was no danger of his reaching that deeply into his soul. Tonight his mind could not be stilled, as his thoughts returned first to the plan of action he and his brothers had plotted, and then back to the strange entity that had seemed bent on consuming him six days ago. He wanted an explanation, the logical understanding of what had happened to him when he had battled both with his body and his mind against something that had felt like pure evil. He could find no answers.

Raphael was awash in a sea of roiling emotion. It was all he could do to remain seated, much less try and control his thoughts and focus on Splinter's assignment. One instant he felt rage and hatred for the enemy who had somehow gotten the better of them, the next minute his anger was directed at his brothers for having allowed it. Then the anger turned inward, though only briefly, and was felt as the familiar black resentment at who and what he was, and the hand he had been dealt. Beneath it all, a dark fear gnawed at him. Though he could not, or would not, identify it with words, it was the fear that history would repeat itself. It was a fear that one more person, one more female person, for whom he had allowed himself to have feelings, would be lost to him. And beneath that, was the fear that another loss like that would force his heart behind an iron wall, from which he would never emerge.

Raphael, so powerless against his own power, could find none of the peaceful respite Splinter hoped for them.

When Splinter focused his attention on Leonardo he found to his surprise that his most earnest, most dedicated student, was not there with him at all. Splinter frowned inwardly; a flicker of confusion, and then zeroed in on him, looking for him, trying to find where his star pupil's attention had gone.

It was true, Leonardo was deeply involved on concentrating on something, but not the assignment Splinter had given them. The sensei narrowed his focus, pinpointed and followed the young turtle's attention. Carefully, unobtrusively, he entered his mind without touching his conscious awareness. He found Leonardo was gathering from within himself, and sending somewhere, great amounts of emotional energy. Splinter did not have to look further to see where it was going. He understood where Leonardo's psychic gold was being expended, and he gently withdrew.

And then the car and trailer bumped to their untimely stop.

Now, off the road, in the shelter of an aspen grove, Casey Jones stood snarling over the steaming engine, a greasy rag in one hand and a wrench in the other. Everyone else had gathered around, keeping a respectful, if not wary, distance as Casey cursed the makers, and the fathers and the sons of the makers, of the V-8 265.

"Well, face it, Casey," said Don blandly. "We were really pushing the poor old thing pretty hard. It's been uphill for miles now."

"That ain't the point, Donnie!" said Raphael, pacing back and forth. "We can't afford the time." He looked at Leonardo who stood with one arm crossed in front of him, the other hand against his eyes. "Leo, how long you figure it'd take to go in on foot?"

Leo looked up. "I don't know. Two, three hours maybe?"

"If I hoof it back to that service station," said Casey, "and _if_ they even have a water pump for this engine, and they don't have to order it from who knows where, we're lookin' at three hours, minimum. An' that's after I take this thing out. Which is gonna mean takin' off the hoses, drainin' the radiator, takin' off the fan belt, the fan, the pulley-"

Mike looked at Raphael. "On foot?"

"On foot."

_"What?" _Casey turned around; the wrench now brandished like a weapon. "You guys are gonna leave me here?"

"I'll go," said Adam. "I'll go and get the parts."

"I can take the old one off," said April. "I've been under this hood before."

"Oh, no. I'm not leavin' this car for anyone to mess with -" Casey paused. Everyone was looking at him. He looked down at the wrench. "Ah, the hell with it. Look, just take the old pump off first an' take it with you. You wanna get the core deposit."

"Screw the fuckin' core-!" Raphael stopped in mid sentence. "Never mind. Don't matter. We're goin'."

Leonardo nodded. "We're going. Get your gear, guys."

"Where's Mommy?" asked Rose from Cryssie's arms.

"Hey, ya know what, Rosie?" said Mike, bipping her on the nose. "We're gonna go get her right now. No problemo. We'll be back in just a little bit."

"Where's _Mommy_?" Rose whined, not much placated.

"Just up the road, kid," said Raphael.

"Wanna go!"

"You stay with us, Rose," said Cryssie, with a forced calm. "They'll be right back."

The shadows were lengthening, the eastern side of the slopes bathed in deep purple. Already the sun was sliding behind the rugged granite peaks. Leonardo looked at the five humans who would remain with the disabled vehicle, parked by the side of a mountain highway. "Splinter will be with you," he said. "You'll be safe."

"I'm not worried about us, Leo," said April. "It's you guys that need to be careful."

* * *

Lia sat on the edge of the bed. The sunlight no longer glinted between the slats of the shuttered window. It was growing dark. She was certain Alex would come back, because he had not yet derived any pleasure from his brutality. He would come back because he had not broken her. She had not crumbled; she had not surrendered. He would come back because he was determined to win.

At first she had feared he would kill her. Then it had seemed that the kind of triumph he wanted, the only thing that would satisfy him, would necessitate her remaining alive in order to suffer. Her death would only end the game, and leave no one the victor. It had become a war of wills, with Lia drawing upon her fragile connection to Leonardo to sustain her. Alex's driving need to control her kept the game going, but only as long as a spark flamed within her to resist.

Now she was no longer sure she could count on that. Alexander Skylord seemed driven further from whatever humanity he may have once possessed. His eyes seemed vacant and soulless, as one already dead, his touch as cold as a killing frost. The only emotion she could feel from him was a methodical rage aimed directly at her. Perhaps, now, only her death would give him the victory he demanded.

And there was no one else in the entire 40-acre encampment that made up the Brotherhood's home, on which she could call for help.

The creature that inhabited the body of Lucas Takimoto, the demon Ashmedai, bore her nothing but malice. And who could say what had become of Lucas himself during the possession.

Samuel, for all his assertions that he still cared for her and would never allow harm to befall her, was powerless to do anything to protect her. Samuel could see only what he chose to, and what would guarantee his own survival. He still believed that what was good for the Brotherhood was good for Lia. A slave to the will of Alexander Skylord, it seemed he had surrendered his humanity as well.

Lia searched through her mind, sent her thoughts out, beyond the confines of the darkening bedroom. She couldn't find the one she sought now. She shuddered inwardly, telling herself she could hold on, telling herself she could keep this up just a little longer.

* * *

"You know, guys," said Donatello as they trudged single file, uphill over the broken terrain paralleling main road. "One thing we need to keep in mind is that these people who are Skylord's students, aren't really the enemy."

"That's cool, Donnie," said Raphael. "I was thinkin' the same thing. Maybe we should bring 'em a gift basket and a bottle of wine."

"What I'm trying to say is," said Don patiently. "Is that they are the blind followers of a charismatic cult leader and-"

"Y'know, that's true," interrupted Mike. "He is very charismatic. Don't ya think? Hey Leo, don't you think Skylord is a very charismatic kinda guy?"

Don exhaled in exasperation. "What I mean is that they are brainwashed. What has happened is not their fault. Most cult members are looking for something to give their lives meaning and they get sucked into these things. Just like—"

"Idiots," said Raph.

"No. Like Lia was," said Don.

"So what're you sayin', Don-Boy?" asked Casey.

"I'm saying I don't think we should use excessive force against these people. I mean, respond to what we have to, but remember who they are."

"Oh, I'm gonna remember just who they are," said Raphael darkly.

"No," said Leonardo, at the lead. "Don's right. There are women and children in this place. We neutralize any threat. That's it. Use force only as we are met with force, and then with the least damage inflicted. Understood?"

"Got it, Leo," said Mike. "We aim to maim."

"Right. No killing."

"Except for one of 'em," said Raphael.

Leonardo glanced back at Raphael, and met his brother's cold gaze, mirroring it back to him. His nod was almost imperceptible in the deepening gloom.

* * *

"Anything yet?"

"Not yet." Samuel's fingers clattered over the keyboard and the view on the overhead television screen changed again. "That's camera seven now. I picked up some movement about an hour ago there, but it was just a deer."

Skylord crossed his arms over his chest. "The lights came on?"

"Yes. You know, Alex, I'm still not sure the lights are such a good idea. We have enough moonlight tonight, and it will warn them that we know they're here."

"I have thought of that. And if they assume the obvious, yes, it might make them more cautious. But if they are able to reason two steps beyond that, there is an advantage to be gained which outweighs that negative."

"Very well." Samuel watched the computer monitor as he ran through a system check. "All stations at ready and on alert. Dorms are on lock down. The only personnel abroad now are our Class A Defense units."

"Check the Stronghold's system one more time."

"Yes sir." The television screen image changed again to the south facing wall of a granite mountainside, darkly ominous in the dusk. In the center near the base was a steel door, reflecting the yellow glow of incandescent lights mounted high on poles along the quarter mile access road to the mountain. Sam's fingers clattered over the keys, his eyes on the monitor. "Everything checks out fine. All systems operational." Samuel glanced up at his Teacher's face, and realized he hardly recognized him. He looked leaner, somehow. Bloodless. The great mane of blond hair had a colorless white caste to it. He wondered if Alex had performed any kind of rituals, any strength gathering spells in preparation for this confrontation. In recent weeks Alex had spent many long hours in consultation with the enigmatic N, and had neglected much of his usual routine. The hair on the back of Samuel's neck prickled at the thought of N. He had been a disturbing presence.

"Alex, I hope you won't think this impertinent, but I've been meaning to ask, and now that he is gone, I was wondering, can you tell me something about N?"

"Once we know they are here, we will prepare to go to the Stronghold." Skylord said, oblivious to the fact that Sam had even spoken. "You will continue to conduct defensive operations from inside there. We will draw them in and close the noose about their necks."

Samuel drew in a breath, decided to drop the issue. Instead he asked, "You are sure they'll be here tonight?"

"Of course." Skylord's eyes narrowed as he watched the television screen. "I've all but invited them."

* * *

The sun had long ago set, and the misshapen moon, slowly rising through the trees, barely lit the eastern sky with a redly tinged glow. Clouds scudded across the sky, coiling like wisps of burnished smoke, alternately dark and illuminated.

Five figures moving under the cover of darkness had angled further away from the main road, deeper into the pine and juniper forest. The needles and broken granite crunched beneath their feet, the sharp scent of evergreens wafted on the cold night air. From all around, crickets shrilled their harsh song.

Once they reached it, the perimeter of the Brotherhood's property was immediately obvious. A 20-foot high cyclone fence, topped with rolled razor wire, confronted them.

"You think it's electrified?" asked Mike. "Kinda looks like there might be a T-Rex on the other side."

"No," said Don. "But we should test it."

"Anyone got a goat?" Mike dead- panned.

"For an electric charge, Mikey, not dinosaurs." Raphael drew a sai and threw it at the steel fence. It struck with a metallic clang and a notable lack of electricity. "Heh," he smirked and stepped out of the shadows to retrieve it. Suddenly the darkness evaporated and the area was awash in blinding electric light from overhead. They all scrambled back again into the darkness under the trees, and crouched beneath a thorny hedgerow. The lights buzzed noisily from the fence top.

"Shit!"

"Motion detectors," whispered Don. "Very likely cameras mounted up there too. Give me a minute."

Donatello surveyed the fence line, pacing off the distance several feet back from the fence, between the tallest poles that held the equipment and talking to himself. "Lets see…if we have a seventy five, no, hundred yard distance…reaction time, less than seven seconds… twenty-five and five-eighths less eight- percent margin of error… probably set to...ow!"

"What?" whispered Leo.

"Nothing. Walked into a tree…"

"Ninja Stealth," grumbled Casey.

"Ok, guys," said Don, ignoring Casey. "Here's the deal. These lights are mounted too far apart to cover every square foot of the perimeter. There should be a minimum thirty-foot dark stretch between any two lighted sections even if they all go on at once. So even if each motion detector is equipped with cameras, they're gonna have blind spots."

"Hey, I wonder what ol' Skyschmuck paid the contractor," said Mike. "Ya think he got ripped off?"

Leonardo gazed up thoughtfully and rubbed his chin. "No, I don't think so. I'm not sure that these lights are here with the expectation that someone is going to be able to see everything. This whole compound is too big for that to be practical."

"You mean he's settled for half-assed security?"

"No. I think the lights are here to make intruders _think _they are being seen. I think his intention is primarily intimidation."

"More psycho-voodoo?" asked Mike.

"Exactly."

"So the only question is;" said Casey, reaching back into the golf bag slung over his shoulder. "Do we go over, under, or-" He pulled out a large set of bolt cutters. "-through?"

"Go for it," said Don, pointing to a spot in the fence. "Right about…._there_."

Casey tipped back his hockey mask and set to work carving a hole through the heavy chain link. "Like a hot knife through butter. Hyuk-hyuk."

* * *

"There!" said Samuel. He pointed to a diagram on the monitor showing the western boundary of the Brotherhood's compound.

Skylord leaned close. "Where are they?"

"Sector nine. They did elude the cameras, but not the heat detectors."

"How many?"

"I'm reading five bodies. One at 98.9 and four at…hm… 88.9, 86.5, 87.2, and 88.8. Interesting."

"So they are cold blooded."

"No. These body temperatures indicate the ability to self regulate."

"No matter." Skylord ran a hand over his mouth thoughtfully. "So we have all four of the turtle beings and one human?"

"Yes."

"Good. Even better if the human proves to be the other one Ashmedai has already gained entry to."

Samuel swallowed and hesitated. "Alex, you do still maintain control over him, don't you? Ashmedai, I mean."

Skylord took his eyes from the overhead monitor for a moment. "Does he trouble you, Sam?"

"If I may speak honestly, sir, yes, he does."

Skylord chuckled dryly. "Well, that is good. He should, given what he is. But he is no threat to you."

"I was thinking of Lia," said Samuel quietly. "I fear he would harm her if he could."

"He would kill her if he could, Samuel. But I stand between Ashmedai and Lia. It is My Will that shall prevail. Lia's fate is in my hands alone."

Samuel swallowed. He knew he didn't dare ask what Skylord's decision would be. He forced himself to believe that Alex was not so enraged with his wife's obstinate behavior that he might actually do her harm. "Why would Ashmedai want to-?"

"Ashmedai, and all those others who fell from on high, loath the living. He despises that which represents the hope of Creation."

Samuel looked down at the keyboard for a moment. The conversation was becoming more and more distressing. He scratched his ear. "Alex?"

"Yes?"

"You have always worked on behalf of Creation, in the service of the Light…."

"Samuel, do not lose faith in me now." Skylord's voice rumbled with the power of his conviction. "This is no time to quail, when we stand so close to our goal. Yes, I summoned Ashmedai from the bowels of Hell. Yes, he carries with him all the powers of the Darkness. But I control him. He is but a pawn. I have learned to harness that Power, and bend it to my will."

Samuel closed his eyes, pushing aside his doubt. He knew he must be like a little child, the trusting children that Alex had told them they must all be. "Forgive me, Master.

"Good, Samuel. That is good."

* * *

Once on the other side of the fence, and inside the compound, the turtles and Casey Jones broke into teams, and fanned out in three directions, moving silently, cautiously, through the dark meadow. Crickets rasped, and a soft breeze hissed over the grasses. High above, wispy clouds moved across the sky, obscuring the stars, darkening the moon, and casting a blood red glow over the landscape.

Donatello and Michaelangelo crept across the flat field, low to the ground. Scattered across the area were numerous small buildings, with light glimmering from the windows and doors. It was evident from the soft conversations that could be heard within that each held least two occupants.

Dropping down into a narrow creek bed the two turtles sank low to reconnoiter.

"Looks like there's more than one lonely guard shack," whispered Mike.

"No kidding. There's hm...probably fifty or sixty of these things, if they're evenly spaced."

"Well, we're supposed to be eliminating a guard shack, so I guess one's as good as another to get started."

They climbed back up along the bank of the streambed, and crawled forward, looking more like their original species than the bipedal threat they had become.

The nearest building held two men, visible through the open door. Both were dressed in khaki shirt and slacks; a rough approximation of a uniform. One sat with his feet up on the desk. The other stood, leaning against the near wall. The low electronic hum of a computer caught Donatello's ears, and a grin spread across his face.

"Cool…" he murmured.

The two turtles drew up, hugging close to the sides of the shack, on either side of the door. Mike knelt and tossed a handful of pebbles onto the ground in front of the door. The man who was standing turned toward the doorway, looking puzzled. He paused and stepped out.

Donatello grabbed him around the throat and mouth, dragging him back while Michaelangelo sneezed loudly two times. Don kept a hand tightly over the man's mouth as he struggled. Mike sneezed again passionately.

"Randy?" said the man still inside at the desk.

"Hey, check this out!" called Mike, deepening his voice. He pressed his carapace against the wall, close to the door.

The second man stood, and looked out the door, an automatic weapon in his hands. "That you, Randy? What the-"

Mike's fist slammed into the second man's jaw and he dropped like a stone.

"Don't move, don't make a sound," Donatello hissed in Randy's ear. He stared, frozen in fear, at his fallen companion. He nodded silently. The turtles dragged both men into the shack and bound, blindfolded, and gagged them.

Mike pointed to the two guns lying up against opposite wall.

"AR-15s," said Don. "The lunatic survivalist's weapon of choice."

"They're not doin' them much good now, are they?"

"People put too much faith in their stupid guns." Don shrugged and turned his attention to the computer sitting on the neat steel desk. A cheery grin slowly spread across his face as he cracked his knuckles and sat down. "Y'know, Mike, it was darn thoughtful of old Alex to install these terminals in his guard shacks…"

"I think the duct tape in the desk drawer was a nice touch, too," said Mike glancing back at the two captives.

"Mh hm.…" said Don already completely focused on the computer. His fingers on the keyboard, his eyes intent on the screen. "Ok, I'm in. Good thing this program was already running…now I just need to …hmm…"

"Yeah?" Mike peered over Don's shoulder.

"Password…. ok…that's not it. How about…no…."

Michaelangelo glanced between the computer screen and his brother's face. "Is this gonna take a while you think?"

"It could. Ah, wait, I can try this…." Donatello kept a running dialogue, talking softly to himself, as he began to systematically break through Alexander Skylord's electronic defense system.

Michaelangelo moved over to the doorway. He scanned the broad alpine meadow in the shifting moonlight. Dozens of small identical shacks stretching across the landscape threw small semi circles of light on the ground. A chilling breeze brushed Mike's face. He shivered and told himself it was just the cooling night air, and not the ominous sense of dread he felt that made him shudder. He didn't like this place one bit. For a moment his mind touched the image of the feisty little blond girl who carried in her body new life. He shook his head, shaking it off, and shaking off his discomfort and uneasiness. The sooner they could get Lia out safely, and get back to the others they had left at the side of the road, the better he would feel.

* * *

Casey and Raphael made their way across the dark field toward the main house. It was hard to miss even with the clouds passing over the face of the moon. The chalet's tall, peaked roof extended through the nearby pine trees, and lights shone from the downstairs windows. They picked their way across carefully, avoiding the small buildings that dotted the entire field. The sudden loud flapping of an owl's wings sent them both onto their bellies, flattened against the cool grass.

"Bird," whispered Raphael.

"Damn." Casey turned toward his companion, his voice nasal and muffled behind the hockey mask. "Hey, I don't know about you, but it seems to me we oughta be takin' out all these damn guards on our way to the house."

Raphael looked in the direction of the house, and then at guard shack that sat 20 yards in front of them. The urgency he felt to keep moving and get to the house as fast as possible fought his impulse to hurt someone, anyone, right now.

"Kickin' butt on some sentry comes under 'neutralize any threat', doesn't it?" Raphael's teeth flashed in the moonlight.

Casey's white mask nodded in the dark.

"And Leo thinks I never listen to him."

They crept forward to the closest shack, and scurried to the back wall, pressing up against it. Inside two men were speaking.

"I don't know," one voice was saying. "It's got to be right. I just checked with Units F and D and they've got the same thing."

"Hm," said the other. "I wonder why he would have called off the alert."

"Yellow Sector is saying it was never even a real alert. Just another drill."

"Son of a gun. Well, I'm kinda relieved. I wasn't really sure what we were supposed to be looking for."

"Me either. Oh, look, there it is. The 'Situation Normal' light."

Casey and Raph exchanged looks, and Casey jerked his head toward the door to indicate he was ready to move in. Raphael nodded.

Like an enraged two-headed dragon they burst through the doorway into the shack. The two guards had no time to even react. Raphael toppled the one that sat at the desk, leaping onto him and bludgeoning him with the handle of his sai. Casey sprang at the second as he reached for his shoulder holster. With a loud crack, Casey knocked the Ruger from his hand with a hockey stick, and on the back swing smashed into the man's jaw. The two men lay unconscious on the floor of the small building, a tall hockey-masked man and a turtle standing over them in low, ready stances.

"Two down," said Casey. "These guys are punks."

Raphael felt little satisfaction with the small victory. "Doin' this'll take too long." He spun his sai and jammed it back into his belt, scanning around restlessly. "We gotta book for that house."

"You're pretty pumped, aren't ya, bro?"

"I don'twanna talk about it. I just wanna do it."

One of the guards' shoulder-mounted radios crackled. "Unit J, check in please. Unit J, do you copy?"

"Oh shit." Casey squatted on his haunches, looking warily at the radio. "You think we should answer?"

"Oh sure, yeah," said Raph sarcastically. "We're cool as long as they don't need some special code or somethin'."

Another voice came over the small radio. "Unit M this is Unit D. Unit K has reported transmission difficulties. Disregard non-response."

"That's Don!" Raphael's eyes widened.

"Copy, Unit D," crackled the radio.

"Don's already doin' his thing," said Raphael. "Come on already!"

"What about these guys?" Casey gestured to the two guards on the ground.

Raphael snorted impatiently. "Tie 'em up!"

"You gonna help?"

"Argh…"

They found a coil of telephone line and knelt to their task.

"Y'know," said Casey glancing over at his friend. "This ain't gonna be that hard. 'Specially if they're all as pitiful as these two losers."

Raphael shrugged, his eyes on the knot he was tying.

"We get in, we bust a few heads, we get the chick out. What're you so hyped about?"

"Nothin'."

"Yeah, sure. C'mon, bud. I know you better'n that."

Raphael gave the knotted phone wire one last good tug around the guard's wrists and stood up. He looked at Casey for an instant and then headed for the door. "'Cause he's gonna kill her if we don't get our butts up to that house and stop him. If he hasn't already."

Casey hurried after him. They dropped low to the ground and moved across the open field several feet to the shelter of a low growing rabbit bush. "You think?" Casey whispered. "Why would he do that?"

Raphael grunted.

They crept forward, moving as far as possible from the light of the guard shacks and closer to the sheltering trees ahead. The moon slid out from behind the clouds, momentarily bathing the field in its amber glow. They froze.

"Not enough cover out here," muttered Casey. "We shoulda skimmed the perimeter an' stayed by the trees."

"Take too long."

"Hey Raph, tell me something."

"No."

"How come you never told me nothin' about that Sunni chick?"

"There wasn't anything to tell."

"Y'know, I never thought you were serious when you were askin' me about women."

Raphael said nothing, scanning ahead for the next low place that might offer some concealment.

"I mean, I guess I shoulda known. Who else is there, really, huh? It's not like you were gonna go down to the zoo an' mac on some hot Galapagos babe…"

"Casey, shuttup."

"Hey, no offense. Ok, look, I can do my Sensitive Guy thing like April likes if ya want."

"Shutt_up_!"

Casey finally looked over at Raph. He could see his rough attempt at humor failed. "Ok. I'm sorry, man. You, uh, you really liked her, huh?"

"Let's move," said Raphael.

Casey shrugged and the two moved forward again, using what little cover they could find, across the broad, grassy flat.

* * *

Leonardo slipped silently down the slope, thigh deep in the waving grasses. The wooded glen below him held the four long dormitories, which made up the living quarters for the members of the Brotherhood. A fifth one lay hidden in the trees on the other side of a small footbridge across a creek. From the odors Leo decided that one was the kitchen and dining facility. All the structures were built like long log cabin barracks. Faint light shone from some of the windows, but all was quiet within. The murmur of the creek, the rhythmic song of the frogs and the occasional sigh of the wind in the trees were more than enough to cover the turtle's footfalls

Moving like a shadow through the dappled patterns of the blood-dark moon, Leo circled the buildings, listening at the windows. From snatches of hushed conversations, he was able to discern that the doors were already locked from the inside. Now he needed to make sure they were secured from the outside as well.

He found a pile of steel poles, and moving so slowly as to prevent detection by sound, Leo barricaded the doors on either end of the dormitories. It occurred to him to cut the electrical lines, but then decided that it would only create an alarm. Best to leave whatever reinforcements Skylord had, to their ignorant slumber.

Sitting low on his haunches in the darkness, waiting for the signal to rendezvous at the mountain Stronghold, Leo was invisible to all but his own internal judge. Alone in the stillness, the Judge now sought to condemn him. He had managed to set aside the emotional turmoil he felt by channeling all his energy into his task. Now, with battle-honed discipline, he silenced the condemning voice, and any others that would distract him. He knew he had to make better use of his mind. Instead he focussed on the mission and analyzing the enemy's defenses.

Skylord had taken measures to be sure his most vulnerable followers, the families of his men, were not put in the line of fire, whatever he imagined that to be. To Leonardo that spoke well of him, though he knew perhaps Skylord's rationale was only to minimize distractions for his own fighting men, with little concern for the safety of the women and children on his lands. The man had strategically placed the weaponry where it could fire upon vehicles coming in by the road, or even overhead, should an attack come from the sky. He had armed his small battalion with semi-automatic weapons, and constructed a surveillance system throughout the encampment, which would have been highly effective against an advancing army.

_The problem for Skylord is that the enemy is not an advancing army,_ thought Leo. _This enemy is silent, invisible. And we have already penetrated his defenses and breached his walls, hopefully without his knowledge._

* * *

"This is strange," said Sam, repeatedly hitting the Enter key. "Something is over riding the system."

"What is overriding the system?"

"Well, it looks like its me. But that's impossible."

Skylord stroked his moustache thoughtfully.

"I can't get it to respond. I'm getting locked out from every command file-"

With a sharp electric clink, the computer shut down, and the room went dark. Skylord looked up.

"Alex, it won't reboot—"

"Of course it won't. The power to the house has been cut." With a studied calm, Skylord turned and opened the door. He motioned to the dark presence lurking in the hall. "Go get her," Skylord told the entity that resembled, yet was not, a human. "Bring her to the transport down at the small pond. We go to the Stronghold now"

The dark form moved, snake-like, as though uncoiling itself. An oily smile slid across its mouth, the rank odor released into Skylord's face. "With pleasure, Young Alex," it hissed in a voice that echoed as if from some deep crypt. It turned and started up the unlit stairs.

* * *

"Ok," said Donatello. "I sure hope Raph appreciates everything I'm doing for him here."

Mike hovered over Don. "Is it goin' ok?"

"Well, I still need another password or two, but it looks like I can control the main gate to the mountain from here as well."

"The gate to the mountain?"

"Yeah. The Stronghold. Here, at the north end of the field." Don pointed to the schematic image on the computer monitor. "This is the place Skydude keeps all his supplies for the end of the world. Hm. Looks like it's also got emergency living quarters in case they have to wait out the next nuclear winter."

"Cool. I had been thinking about Florida, but it's nice to have a back up plan."

"Yeah, well, speaking of which, there is another entirely separate central control system in there, somewhere. We were planning on rendezvousing up by there, but I think I need to try and make sure everyone is locked out. Someone could bypass and override what I'm doing here, from inside there."

Mike crossed to the open door and looked outside. "You think Raph and Casey are at the house yet?"

"Hope so. Soon as I threw that switch Skylord's gotta figure something's afoot."

"I wonder where everyone is. Sure is quiet."

"Yeah. Too quiet."

'That was a freebie, ya know."

Donatello grinned.

* * *

With an ominous click the bedroom door latch turned.

The door swung open. Lia sucked in a breath and froze. In the dark she could see no one. She narrowed her eyes peering into the black, open doorway, her heart suddenly racing.

On the floor she caught a movement, like snakes slithering into the room. The shadowy shapes rose up, grew taller, and the shadow took form, congealed, and the Lucas thing slipped into the room.

"Get away!" Lia gasped fiercely.

It moved toward her, wordlessly, the long black tongue lolling obscenely out of its mouth.

Lia took two steps back. "Get away from me!"

It grinned in the darkness. "It would seem we are alone now, Lia Ana Hanrahan," Ashmedai hissed hollowly. "I've been anticipating this moment."

Lia steadied her voice. "What do you want?"

"Many things…."

* * *

Skylord paused in the dark archway before the dining room, nearly invisible in his black garments, except for his pale hair. He heard someone descending the staircase and looked up.

Abruptly from out of the shadows a baseball bat swung at his face, attached on the other end to a crazed man, nearly as large as Skylord, in a white mask and sweats.

With lightening speed, Skylord caught the stick before it hit him and jerked it from Casey's grip, throwing him off balance. He drove his knee into Casey's crotch, doubling him over and delivered a sharp upper cut to his jaw. Stunned, Casey fell backwards.

Raphael leaped down from the stairway chandelier onto the Thing on the stairs, sai drawn, teeth gnashing. Ashmedai caught him one-handed, effortlessly flinging Raphael off of him, and sent him crashing down. Raphael's head split the wall where he hit and he sank dazed to the ground. His world turned a nauseating, dizzy gray. He saw the Thing looming over him on the staircase above, and saw the deep gash in its cheek where the sai had missed its eye. Ashmedai's tongue slid out and licked the blood from its own wound.

"You cannot harm me, stupid creature. All you can do is damage the host's body," it leered, perching on the banister, ready to spring.

"Hold!" Skylord rumbled. "Leave them be. Come."

Raphael's head spun and his vision blurred.

Blackness…

"Get up! Get up!" yelled Casey, suddenly hauling on Raphael's arm. "They're getting away!"

Raphael swam woozily back to consciousness. He staggered to his feet with Casey's help and swallowed down a sickening urge to vomit.

"M'ok…" he mumbled thickly. "Where…?"

"This way!" Casey led him back out through the kitchen, and out the sliding glass door. Below the grassy slope, by the moonlit pond, three people were climbing into what looked like an oversized armored golf cart. A fourth lay still in the arms of one of them, and was loaded into the transport. With an electronic buzz the vehicle started up.

Casey and Raphael broke into a run, crashing downhill in pursuit. The transport car spun around and took off in the direction of the great mountain Stronghold at a high rate of speed.

"Damn!" Raphael paused at the foot of the hillside.

"That was her, wasn't it?" asked Casey, lifting his mask.

"Yeah, yeah, that slimey little puke had her! Chicken squat punk asses runnin' away-" Raphael swayed with a dizzy combination of rage and confusion.

Casey caught his shoulder. "Come on! Come on! We know where they're goin'!"

* * *

The sound of the approaching electric transport car reached Leonardo's ears. He turned and saw it flying up the narrow road to the steel door built into the side of the mountain. Leonardo took off down the hillside, through the trees.

* * *

"Uh oh…" Donatello hit the same keys three times in a row. "Oh, damn."

"What?" asked Mike.

"There's another way to operate the steel doors. It's not connected to this system -oh damn!"

"What?"

"He got it open. He's going in. See? Up on the screen, you can see the doors."

"Now what?"

"Now I have to hold open the doors so everyone else can follow."

"Can you do that?"

"We'll find out."

Don's fingers flew over the keyboard. "I know there's got to be another entrance. There's got to be another way in."

"Like a back door?"

"Yeah, only I can't find it. There wasn't anything on Lia's drawing, either."

"Don, you know they're gonna need-"

"Yeah. You go on and join 'em. I've got this covered. "

* * *

The hollowed-out mountain that served as the Brotherhood's Stronghold lay at the far northern end of the open high meadow. The steel doors which were built to allow access for equipment as large as D-9 Caterpillars and anti-aircraft guns mounted on truck beds, slid open and shut from above. A narrow body of water lay like a moat between the doors and the sloping field leading to mountain's base. Across this was built a heavy bridge of rock and steel. The naked granite walls rose up sharply from the rolling hills on either side.

The electric transport zipped over the bridge and into the gaping maw of the mountainside. The interior was lit with electric fixtures mounted in the granite and sending light upward to the high rock ceiling some 100 feet overhead. To the rear of the huge room, a stairway was carved into the stone wall, with a heavy wooden door at the top. A narrow catwalk skirted the wall, running from the top of the stairs around the circumference of the cavern. On the ground level, to either side, passageways framed by steel doorways were built into the rock leading to other chambers.

Several men in khaki uniforms rushed forward from the passages to meet the car as it swung around the wide, open, area just inside the doors. Samuel set the brakes as Skylord stepped out.

"Shut the side doors and secure the back sectors," barked Skylord and looked around. Some twenty-five men stood at attention. "Adams, where are your men?"

"Sir, we sent the others back, sir, when you cancelled the Code Red Alert."

"I never cancelled- " Skylord scowled "Never mind. Ignore the computer commands. Verbal only now. " He quickly scanned the brightly lit cavern, assessing his men and their positions.

"You two," he pointed. "You will need to operate the gates manually. They need to be lowered three-quarters of the way. And you." He turned with a sweeping gesture. "Alert the rest of the men within the Stronghold that we are proceeding with Operation C-16/7, as planned. Everyone in position. I want all weapons at ready should by chance any of them escape."

The three soldiers he had addressed bowed crisply and set off.

"Samuel," Skylord went on. "Get to the command center. See what you can do with the system. Salvage whatever programs will respond to your commands. I want all available visuals."

Samuel ducked his head and hurried down the far left-hand passageway.

Skylord waved a hand at two more armed soldiers. "You two, go alert the Command Squadron Unit Leaders, this is not a drill, the alert is in effect until I say different. We are under attack."

"Sir?"

"Stay off the radio and ignore any commands from the electronic communications systems until you hear directly from me. Go! Plan C-16/7- In effect now! The rest of you fall back, into your positions."

The soldiers took off on foot, running through the great cavern door to alert the rest of the encampment.

They made it just a few feet past the rock bridge.

Bat in hand, Casey squatted down next to the soldiers where they lay in the grass and tightened his glove buckle with his teeth. "Wimps."

"What d'ya suppose is up with the doors?" whispered Raphael, watching them descend several feet, jerk to a halt, go back up, then down again.

"I don't know, but I bet Don has something to do with it," said Leo.

Casey squinted up at the massive doors as they groaned in indecision. From the five hundred yards where they hid among the large rocks at the base of the bridge, the doors were an imposing sight. "Those things are frickin' huge…"

"We need to move in," said Leonardo, glancing over his shoulder. "Now."

"Hey, guys!"

They each jumped, reaching for their weapons as Michaelangelo slid down the embankment to join them.

"Hey, Mikey!"

"Where's Don?" asked Leo.

"Still in the guard shack, playing with the computer."

"What should we do with these guys' guns?" asked Casey, pointing at the two still bodies lying in the grass.

"Throw 'em in the water," said Leonardo.

"Hey, we could _use_ them, ya know!" Raphael protested.

"Throw them in the water."

"Leo -"

Michaelangelo was already gathering the two guns up and heading for the water's edge.

Raphael turned away in disgust, muttering to himself, and climbed over the rocks up onto the bridge. "Always gotta be in charge, always gotta have the answer, always thinks he's right…." He turned back to the others. "You guys comin' or what?"

"Stay low!" hissed Leo. The four crept over the bridge, hugging the low shadowed wall on the right. The brilliantly lit interior of the cavern forced them to move to one side of the doorway. The steel frame offered little cover, but the jagged, broken rock surrounding the door allowed them a moment to pause.

From where they hid, to the left of the opening, they could see only part of the inside of the cavern; the open passageways that led deeper into the mountain.

"Can't see a damn thing," said Raphael. "At least, I can't see any damn people."

"When we move, Raph, you and Casey cut right, Mike and I will go left," whispered Leo. "I wish Don could take out the lights."

"Hey, he's keepin' the doors open," said Mike. "He might even be able to see us from there."

"That means someone else might be able to, too," said Leo. "You sure?"

"I don't know. There's a camera up there somewhere pointed at these doors."

"Damn." Leo pressed against the rock wall.

"Come on Leo, let's go, already." Raphael's voice shook.

"I don't like this."

"Leo, we need to get in there while we still have an open door," said Casey. "We go right, right?"

Abruptly the lights within the cavern dimmed.

"Boy, that's service," whispered Mike. "Way to go, Brainiac."

"Hold on…"

"Leo, Don's got the lights! What are you waitin' for, a damn invitation?" snarled Raph.

Leo nodded the ok, still not liking it, and they moved forward and slipped through the opening, the mechanical steel doors grunting uncertainly overhead.

Leo watched Raphael and Casey start across the front of the empty cavern, toward the far wall, as he and Mike crept along toward the left. Over the rumble of the doors, he peered into the gloom, trying to see, trying to hear, trying to sense what lay ahead-

_Too easy, too exposed. He knows we're here…._

From above them came a snapping sound. All four looked up. Something whistled through the darkness overhead, plunging down at them. In a single movement, they turned and dove for the doorway behind them, as a huge square of rigid steel mesh dropped down onto them. They sprawled onto the floor, knocked down by the impact, trying to escape as it closed around them like a net. The steel mesh crackled with electricity and they were jolted with a powerful charge that knocked them nearly senseless. Shocks ran through them in waves; a five second pause between jolts; paralyzing, painful, incapacitating. Every muscle in their bodies was jerked taut, flexed, leaving them helpless and wracked in pain, under the grasp of the metal grid.

With a loud groaning, the steel doors came sliding down and clanged shut. The lights came back up to full intensity in the cavern.

At the top of the carved stairway, Alexander Skylord stood, arms folded across his chest, gazing down at his captives. At the mouths of each of the adjoining passageways stood armed men, guns at the ready. The hum of the lights was punctuated by the electric crackle of the steel net.

"Now we have come full circle, creatures," spoke Skylord. "You have returned to me what is mine, that which you had stolen. And now I take possession of you as well."

Skylord strode along the platform above them, pausing at the top of the carved stairway.

"I want you to know this little game has been somewhat amusing. Toying with you, watching you fall so blindly into my trap. I suppose you thought the other member of your little party had cut the power to this Stronghold. Hm? No, as a matter of fact, he has been located and is being rounded up even as we speak. I have maintained complete control over the Brotherhood's compound, and unbeknownst to you, I have had complete control over you fools as well. But now, all good things must come to an end."

Skylord moved restively a few steps along the platform, his form casting a bat-like shadow along the wall. "Now I will inform you of your fate. I have through my business associations made contact with certain agencies that are interested in unusual life forms for research purposes. They will pay a fine price for you. My arrangements call for only one live specimen. The dead ones will be a happy bonus for them."

"You, young man in the mask, you have outlived your usefulness. Unless Ashmedai decides he can make use of you again, I will simply dispose of you."

Skylord stroked his moustache in mock thoughtfulness.

"I suppose you have some questions about the fate of my wife. Not that it should concern you." A slow, hard smile twisted his mouth. "She is once again my happy bride, my loving bed mate. Of course, you pathetic, deformed creatures would know nothing of this sort of thing. But perhaps you would like to know what she is really like?" Skylord chuckled brutally. "Perhaps I should tell you what she does so willingly for me…"

Writhing and jerking under the surge of the net's electric charge, the captives could do nothing but listen to Skylord's gloating. While they could only catch parts of what he was saying between the jolts of electricity, what they did hear had the desired effect.

Trying to think in five-second segments, trying to focus on something, Leonardo fought to block Skylord.

Don't listen.

_This is what he does…_

Suddenly everything went pitch black.

For an instant Leo thought he had passed out, but then he realized the electric current was gone as well.

Men shouted in alarm.

"Yaahhh!" Raphael snarled, staggering to his feet.

"Arghh!" roared Casey, pushing the steel mesh aside.

* * *

_"Wooo Hoooo!"_ hooted Donatello, from the captured computer terminal in the guard shack. "It worked! I got it! I got it!" He sat back down, fingers skipping over the keys. "That was too easy; that was so obvious. I should have known! What else would it be! _Yeeeh haa!_ Of course, Skylord's personal password would have to be _'God'_!"

* * *

On the floor of the cavern two panicked soldiers opened fire blindly in the sudden blackness, the roar of machine gun fire filling the air, and sending strobe-like flashes through the dark.

Someone screamed.

"Don't shoot! Don't shoot, you idiots!" yelled someone else. Another round went off and someone else howled.

"Cease fire you fools!" bellowed Skylord from above.

With adrenaline-charged instinct, Michaelangelo leaped at the soldiers, seeing what they could not, 'chucks flying.

Silent, swift, and feral, Leo and Raph attacked.

Dull thuds and thumps, startled cries of the blinded soldiers echoed in the dark. Weapons clattered to the ground.

The auxiliary power cut in and five dim yellowish, lights came up, allowing for some visibility. Seven soldiers of the Brotherhood who remained standing were engaged in fierce hand to hand combat with three incredibly fast turtles and one hockey-masked man. Two dropped and lay still at Raphael's feet; another slumped to the ground before Leonardo. Michaelangelo trapped the last Ak-47 and ripped it from the hands of its owner with the chain of his 'chucks. He turned and flew at another, landing a bone-cracking sidekick square in his chest.

Skylord stood on the platform, eyes on the chaos below.

"Fools…" he muttered, and turned quickly for the doorway into the upper chamber.

A strident voice stopped him.

"Skylord! Face me!"

Leonardo stood on the stairway behind Alex, katana drawn.

Skylord stopped and slowly turned. He gazed down at his reptilian adversary, an ironic smile playing on his lips. "You would attack me, unarmed like this?"

"No," said Leonardo evenly. He spun one katana in his hand turning the hilt toward Skylord. "Use this."

Skylord raised a brow. "Quite confident, aren't you?"

"Honor demands no less."

An eerie howling scream rose in the air and from out of nowhere, Ashmedai leaped between the two of them, shoving Skylord back. He raised a heavy ornate broadsword, the blade flashing in the half-light, and brought it singing down at the turtle.

Leonardo parried the blow, pinning the heavy sword against the wall with his own small, light one. He swept one leg under Ashmedai faster than the demon could react, and knocked him off his feet.

Ashmedai sprang back up, two stairs above the turtle. He raised the broadsword overhead and struck downward, over and over, forcing Leo to keep one katana high, deflecting the blows. With the second katana he struck a lateral slice across Ashmedai's midsection. The Lucas body dropped lifeless to the stairs, limp as a discarded garment.

Leonardo paused, confused.

From somewhere Lia screamed and Leonardo forgot about Ashmedai. In two bounds he was at the top of the stairs in the doorway.

Skylord stood in the middle of the small control room, surrounded by counters and tables piled with electronic equipment and firearms. He held Lia, gripping her from behind, one hand around her throat, the other around her slender waist. Lia's frightened eyes met Leonardo's.

"This is what you have come for, is it not?" leered Skylord. "Too late. She is mine once again, and mine until the end of our days. There is nothing you can do. Now put up your weapons unless you want to watch her suffer." Skylord tightened his grip on Lia's throat until she gasped.

Leonardo slowly re-sheathed his katana, steadying his breath in order to control his own fury.

"That's better," gloated Skylord. He released the chokehold on Lia's throat and gently stroked her cheek. His other hand slid from her waist up her body to hold one breast. A smug grin spread over his face.

Lia fixed her eyes in Leonardo's. He held her gaze and watched her face as it shifted from panicked, to controlled, to resolute. Her jaw set, she raised her chin a fraction, her eyes never leaving his.

Lia abruptly jerked her head to one side and bit down hard on Skylord's hand. He yelled, more in rage than pain, jerking back. Lia turned and with every once of strength she had, kneed Skylord in the groin. He doubled forward, grunting. It was all that Leonardo needed.

Leo leaped at an angle to the right, his feet hitting the edge of a counter, and ricocheted off, twisting around to drive feet first into Skylord. His feet hit the man's head with the full force of his weight and strength. Skylord staggered dizzily to one side, his legs buckling. Leonardo took Lia up in his arms, bolting for the door.

He carried her, clinging to him, down the stairs.

"Leo! Here!" Raphael met them at the bottom. "Don's got the doors jammed open. You can take that transport car thing and get her the hell out of here! Where'd Skylord go?"

Leo surveyed the area. Mike was handily wrestling the last man to the ground, and ten feet away Casey was in the cab of the transport, finishing up hot-wiring the starter. He stepped out of the humming transport and signaled thumbs up.

"OK, we need to-" Leo looked into Lia's bruised face, and drew in a sharp breath. In that instant he knew it was time to end it; to finish this, once and for all.

"Take her." Leonardo pressed Lia into Raphael's arms. He turned toward the stairs again, katana in hand, murder in his heart. He looked up, and froze.

Skylord stood at the top of the stairs, a small gleaming assault rifle in his hands, taking aim at Raphael and Lia as they started across the floor to the transport.

Leonardo spun around, ran three steps and dove at them, knocking them to the ground, as the gunfire ripped through the cavern.

Lia hit the ground hard, Raphael landing on top of her. She heard Leonardo's deep guttural cry, and saw him slide across the floor from the impact of the bullets. She screamed as Raphael covered her, his arms over her head, forcing her to stay down. They heard Casey's roar of rage as he charged up the stairs, the dull thuds of a wooden bat striking a body, and the clatter of the assault rifle falling to the ground.

Casey leaped off the stairs, leaving a broken Skylord lying on the platform, and sprinted toward Leonardo.

Raphael pulled Lia to her feet with him.

"Oh God! Oh no-!"

They ran toward the fallen turtle. Mike was at his side and already raising Leo's head as Lia dropped to the ground next to them.

"Oh no, oh no oh no…." Lia whispered.

Leonardo lay on his back, a pool of blood spreading beneath him.

"Leo?".

"Agh…"

"Hang on. We're getting you out of here. I got the transport goin'- " Casey looked up, the heavy steel doors were beginning to move again, slowly groaning downward. "Oh, damn."

"Hold on," Raphael helped Mike pull Leo up so they could assess the damage.

The bullets had struck Leonardo's carapace at an angle, splitting it from above his left shoulder to nearly the center of his back. Blood poured from deep within the cracked shell.

Lia clapped a hand over her mouth to keep from crying out.

Raphael exhaled sharply. "Oh, boy…."

Mike bit his lip.

"What?" asked Leo, his voice low and weak.

"It's ok. You're gonna be fine," said Mike, though the catch in his voice betrayed him.

"Don't move, Leo," said Raphael, hooking his arms under Leo's. "We'll carry you."

The sound of running feet diverted their attention. Four more armed soldiers burst into the chamber, looking around, their expressions wild with alarm, their weapons drawn. Casey and Raph leaped to their feet to intercept them.

"In there!" Mike lifted Leo under his arms and with Lia's help dragged him, leaving a trail of blood, into a small alcove to one side of the chamber.

"Stay with him! We'll be right back!" cried Mike, turning to join Raph and Casey.

Lia gestured helplessly and sank down at Leo's side.

"Hang on," she told him when she could trust her voice. "We'll get out of here in just a minute."

"Lia-"

"Shh. Its ok," she whispered. Lia raised his head and slid under him, cradling his head in her lap. Just outside the doorway, Raphael, Casey and Michaelangelo fought off the small group of men. She could feel the blood, warm and thick soaking into her gown. Lia looked quickly down at Leo's face. His mouth was parted, his breathing fast and shallow, his pale eyes looking unfocussed and far away.

"Lia-" he said again.

"I'm right here. Don't try to talk." She touched his cheek. It felt clammy and far too cold. "You're going to be ok…."

"No…" He raised an unsteady arm, grimacing, and reached behind his right shoulder, grasping his katana hilt.

Lia moved to one side, confused. "What are you doing?"

He unsheathed the weapon, drawing it over him.

"Not by some bullet. No gun….by my own hand…."

Lia realized what he was trying to do and gasped. "No! Leo! Stop-!"

He turned the katana, laying the razor sharp tip against the hinged center of his breastplate.

"Leo- wait!"

He was growing too weak to hold the sword poised over his plastron, much less thrust it into himself. "Get Raphael…" he gasped. "Bring my brother here…"

Horrified, Lia looked up. Outside the small alcove where they hid she could see Raphael was locked in combat with a khaki–clad soldier.

"I can't. I can't get Raph. Leo, please, hang on-"

"I need Raphael…"

"Leo wait—please—

Help me do this..."

"No- I can't do that- Leo...please…"

"It's alright…Lia…" he sighed, his voice barely a whisper. "It doesn't hurt…" The blade slipped from his hand as he lost consciousness.

Lia held him and sobbed and rocked.

She looked up half-blinded by tears, and saw Raphael gazing at her wide-eyed. Lia opened her mouth but no sound came out.

Raphael took in the scene; Leonardo lying still in a pool of blood, Lia's desperate tear-streaked face, and felt everything inside him turn cold. He took a step back, and turned, and ran toward the stairway.

At the top of the stairs, Alexander Skylord had pulled himself to his feet. He stood leaning against the wall, one hand on a control panel, the other arm hanging useless at his side. He fumbled with the switches and watched as all the remaining passage doors lowered.

Raphael leaped up the stairs and faced Skylord. Teeth bared in rage, his breath tearing raggedly from his lungs, Raphael lowered his head, blazing eyes locked on his quarry.

Skylord leaned back against the doorjamb, forcing a mocking smile. "It has come to pass, as was promised me, has it not? You fools. The doors are closing and one will escape-"

Raphael sprang forward. His first strike opened Skylord's belly. The second slashed upward ripping through his chest. Skylord slumped forward, a look of astonishment on his face as his entrails spilled onto the stairs.

Raphael stood over him. "For my brother, Leonardo."

Lia heard an electric hum. She looked up to see the door to the small alcove slide shut from above, trapping her and Leonardo inside as he slowly bled to death in her arms.

_No…._

Alone in the tiny, sealed room, she bent over him, holding him, shaking, her mind crying 'no' over and over to whatever gods might listen.

She heard a single final breath escape him. She pressed her body against his, feeling her own heart beating against his quiet chest, beating against the stillness, as if her heart's own fierce pounding could somehow keep his beating.

As if there was anything at all that she could do.


	21. Chapter 21

_The Journey Home_

**Chapter Twenty- One**

* * *

April woke up with a start.

Disoriented for a moment, she moved on the cot, and rolled to one side. Then everything came back. On the bunk at the opposite end of the trailer, little Rose was sleeping on her stomach, one leg hanging over the edge, the blanket over her head. Sean slept on the bunk above her, burrowed in his bedding like a small bear, hibernating. Moonlight streamed in from the window above him, turning everything a stark black and white.

April lay quiet for a moment, wondering what had woke her up. Her mind leaped to the possibility that they had returned and she sat up awkwardly, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

Pulling her denim jacket on, she quietly rose and made her way through the narrow trailer door and stepped out into the cool, night air.

The mountain stillness filled her senses as she gazed around. Above her, the black spiky shapes of evergreens towered overhead. Twenty yards away, she could make out the small tent where Cryssie and Adam were sleeping. April stood very still, scarcely breathing, listening in the darkness and hoping against hope to hear footsteps; the crunch of branches underfoot, something to tell her that those who left them at dusk would return before dawn.

Instead she heard a soft sighing sound, a quiet scraping sound of wood against the earth.

April turned and saw Splinter seated on the ground not far from the tent. His slender hands were folded over the top of his walking stick, and he gazed out into the darkness of the woods.

She walked toward him and he didn't move.

"Splinter?"

April sat down quietly next to him on the ground, watching his long rodent profile, ears perked forward, as he continued to stare into the unseen. She waited for him to speak.

At last her turned to her. His face seemed at first an unmoving mask in the deep shadows. A closer look startled her. She could see something shining in the depths of his eyes. Something raw, like pain.

"April," he said, his whispery voice deepened with emotion.

"Splinter, are you ok?"

He drew in a deep breath, turning again to look into the woods.

"Splinter?"

After a long pause he spoke, his eyes fixed on the deepest shadows before him. "I have always believed April, that death is but a transition. It is an event which marks the passage from one form of existence to the next."

April chewed her lip; unsure what Splinter was telling her. "Yes…?"

"April, when they bring the body to me, I want you to remind me of that."

"What? Splinter, what do you mean-?"

Splinter rose quickly and walked silently off into the trees, leaving April to stare after him, confused and frightened.

* * *

The blow sent Michaelangelo nearly to his knees. He gasped at the sharp pain in his shoulder, caught his balance and spun around, his flying 'chuck returning the strike. The man went down howling, clutching his arm, and unlike Mike, didn't get back up.

Focus Michaelangelo!

More men had suddenly appeared from nowhere, running into the large chamber. For the moment at least, he had to force himself to not think about Leonardo and Lia trapped behind the small steel door.

Raphael had already brought down two of the four stragglers when the next wave charged into the chamber from the opposite side. These men were dressed in overalls, rather than the quasi-military attire of the others, and fortunately were armed only with pipe wrenches and two-by-fours.

"Take 'em out boys!" whooped Casey, leaping into their midst.

With one more anxious glance in the direction of the steel door, Michaelangelo charged into the fray.

* * *

She sits alone with him in the small, locked room.

She pleads with the gods, begs with the angels, rails against the universe at the injustice. She screams her outrage. She cries to every deva and daemon she has ever known until there is no longer any line between the pain twisting her heart, and the wrench in her gut, and the shaking of her arms. Her physical self becomes her anguished cry and she cries until she is exhausted. She sobs helplessly and holds his still, cold, body in her arms.

Not Leo.

Not him…

Please…

She doesn't know how long she lies there, the same words running through her mind like a mantra, knifing through her heart. Her shuddering breath quiets. She feels her heart beating, throbbing. Her ears pound with her own pulse. The sound fills her ears, until it becomes the sound of wings beating against the air. She feels dizzy; the tiny space begins to spin.

She drifts from consciousness.

She dreams she is flying. She dreams of her wings beating across a grim sky. She is chasing something, just ahead, not seen, but felt, like someone fleeing just ahead of her, like a bright light flying swiftly, just beyond. Blood red wings beat against the half-light between night and day, flying through the Between Times, chasing. She follows on outspread wings, her long neck extended, flying low, skimming over a barren landscape, racing in pursuit.

The world below her is yellow and lifeless. Great mounds of earth, darkly brown, dot the desolate land like freshly dug graves. The yellow earthscape slips away, the dark mounds pass by beneath her. The wings beat rapidly, swiftly pursuing.

A dark crevice in one of the mounds of earth gapes open and she plunges down into it. She flies blind through a black tunnel, twisting, turning, never slackening the pace. At first the sides of the cave are earth-black, then they are shot with glimmers of deep green, where hard crystal formations thrust through the walls. Then, turning another corner, the walls become pure, gleaming emerald. She flies past walls of brilliant carved verdant, leading deep into the earth. She follows, down, down, down.

The tunnel opens up, and she is in a Place. It is a chamber of carved emerald, yet it is also a wood; a richly dark, Oak Forest. Overhead, above the trees, stars glitter.

She stops in midair; the wings beat a backstroke. She hovers, searching, and sees him.

He is kneeling, motionless. His head is down; he seems bound by invisible fetters. He doesn't look up. He doesn't move.

And then she is aware of the Others before her, within the Chamber, within the circle of Oaks. She feels their Presence before her, and she knows they are the Ancient Shining Ones to whom she must petition.

She flutters to the stone floor, lowering her head, bending low, the feathers spread around her like a gown as she falls into a deep curtsey. The red wingtips brush the ground. She waits silently, her eyes downcast, for the Shining Ones to acknowledge her.

There is a movement; she raises her eyes to Them. They are shimmering light, barely visible as forms, translucent shades of forest greens and mountain purple and shadowed blue. Their voices chime softly like water running over stone, like glass bells echoing in a deep cavern. She understands their speech, and they ask her why she has come. She senses they must surely know this, but answers them.

_I come for him, O Blessed Ones. I come to plead for him._

The reply whispers as wind through the trees. They want to know why.

_Because you …you cannot mean to take him now. Ancient Ones, forgive me, please, don't take him…not him._

They question again. They want to know why she asks for this.

It's not for me. I don't mean for me, but for him. He doesn't deserve to - he doesn't deserve this. He is good, he is -Look at him! He's new. He's brand new; a being the world has never seen-

They have said something else, but now she is looking at him, kneeling so still.

_Why doesn't he move?_

They tell her he cannot move; he cannot see or hear. He is between worlds. Waiting.

Her ethereal voice breaks like a sob. _Does it hurt him?_

They tell her gently, reassuringly, there is no pain.

_Please let him go!_

They say they cannot. An agreement had been reached, a decision already made. So much is out of their hands. Their authority is limited.

_Please! _She arches her neck, hides her face under a wing, hiding what would be tears if she were in her usual form.

The Ancient Ones speak among themselves. She hears the murmur of water over crystal, of deep sighing breezes moving across the living planet. She cannot understand what they are saying. She is crying.

She stops for a moment and gazes at the floor before her, blinking back invisible tears.

She realizes why she has come.

She looks up.

Take me.

Take me in his place. Let him go. Take me instead. Please. I beg you. I implore you. Please, take me instead. I know, it's not a very good trade, he is good, he is everything good, and I am nothing, but please, please—

She tries to hold her emotions in check, tries to make sense.

You have to let him go back to his family, let him go do whatever it was you intended for him to do. I know his life was no accident. I know you intended him to do something. Let him do it- please-

She breaks down and cannot speak for a moment.

Please…

Her voice is a whisper_._

The Shining Ones murmur. They speak of free will and sacrifice. They want her to understand. There are circumstances; exceptions can be made. Under certain conditions they are allowed to accept an offer of a sacrifice.

It will not be what she imagined.

She tries to follow what they say, but she keeps looking at him, and the ache in her heart is deafening.

They ask her if she is willing.

She tells them_ Yes._

The world spins, the colors and light and sound run together in a pastel pinwheel, until awareness dissolves into emptiness. She feels herself being drawn away.

Wingless now, she free-falls through darkness, spiraling, spinning round and round the void.

There is a light somewhere ahead and she knows she must follow that.

* * *

"We have to get these damn doors open!" Michaelangelo kicked the smooth steel door in frustration. "What if there's no air in there?"

"How long have they been in there?" asked Casey behind him. He tipped back his mask to wipe the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand. His eyes narrowed as he gazed around at the fifteen disarmed and defeated men they had herded back into a far corner of the Stronghold's front chamber. Some lay on the ground, some cowered against the wall. One or two were helping the wounded. Someone somewhere moaned, and another man called for help. Another coughed and gagged. Casey raised his hockey stick, squinting in the gloom in the direction of the voices. "Stay down, you low life punks, if you know what's good for ya!" he yelled.

"I don't know how long they've been in there. For as long as we were fighting. Twenty minutes? Half hour? Oh, man! I told them to wait in there-" He pounded on the door and it echoed coldly through the of the mountain chamber. "Leo? Lia?" he shouted against the door.

"Leo's gone, Mike," said Raphael. He looked exhausted, bloodied, defeated despite the fact that he alone stood among the fallen.

Michaelangelo looked back over his shoulder at him. He started to open his mouth, then shut it, turning back to the door. "Leo! Lia!" he shouted again.

"Look out." Raphael sprinted toward the door, half-turned, leaped, and landed a loud flying side-kick into the door.

"Ow! Damn! Shit!"

"It's a steel door, bro," said Casey.

"LIA!" bellowed Raphael.

Michaelangelo looked up, exploring the rock wall with a hand. "Maybe we can find some kinda controls for this."

"All the doors are sealed," said Casey. "Puke-Head up there shut everything down. He used something up in that other room up there, but it's closed off now too."

Raphael ran his hands along the edge of the door, searching for some weak spot.

"I wish Don was here," said Mike. "Leo!" he called again.

Raphael paused and stared ahead numbly, hands still against the door. "Mike," he said huskily. "Leo can't hear you."

* * *

In the small guard shack, Donatello stared into the monitor, scowling in concentrated effort, the tip of his tongue protruding slightly from his pursed lips, all attention on the next combination of commands he hoped would unlock the protected program. So intent was he on his work he almost didn't hear behind him the click of a .45 caliber shell sliding into the chamber.

Almost.

Donatello rolled to the floor, onto his back, and launched the chair he had just vacated at the doorway with both feet.

The soldier crashed back against the doorframe, the rifle going off through the ceiling as the flying chair struck.

Don leaped onto him, knocking him senseless, and then slid to one side as a second armed soldier appeared in the doorway and raised his rifle. Don caught his legs in a scissor hold and dropped him, ripping the gun from the man's grip. He swung the weapon around and clubbed the soldier unconscious with the butt of his own gun.

Hurriedly dragging the two soldiers into the guard shack, Don laid them by the first two, and tied them as best he could with the rest of the duct tape.

"Hey!" shouted someone from some distance down the meadow. "Everything ok in there?"

"Ah….yeah—it's cool. Just a misfire…." Don shouted over his shoulder. "Getting a mite crowded in here, though," he complained under his breath, stuffing the four men unobtrusively as possible against the inside wall of the shack.

"Ok. You know we're still supposed to stay off the radios, right?" the far-off voice shouted.

"Yeah, that's right," Don answered authoritatively. "You should probably shut down your computer terminal, too."

"Oh—ok. Thanks. _All Praise to Skylord_."

"Yeah…anytime. Heil Hitler. Whatever…." Don muttered, picking up the overturned chair and returning to the keyboard.

* * *

Samuel Levinson stared at the monitor, uncomprehending. He knew there was something very, very wrong, but he couldn't quite identify what it was. He was sweating profusely, and shaking with cold. He felt disconnected from his body.

Since the moment he had bolted himself safely inside the command center he had monitored the events inside the cavern on the screen. He had been able to wrest back control of the Stronghold's security program from whoever had been tampering with it, and by shutting down several systems, had effectively sealed off his terminal from the others, giving himself complete autonomy.

But something was wrong. Something unexplainable had happened. He didn't know what it was, but it had something to do with the picture the central chamber camera was sending him. There was this thing; a dark thing lying awkwardly at the top of the stairway, a bloody mess_._

Samuel decided not to look at it. Better to block from his awareness what he could not comprehend, what he refused to comprehend. Another thought, though, did break through his consciousness. While he could not fathom Alexander Skylord's death, one enormous consequence of that leaped into his mind.

Ashmedai is free.

Ashmedai is free in the World to do whatever he wants.

Samuel shook as though he were freezing cold. He tried to focus on what he needed to do. Of utmost importance was that he maintain the lockdown, and keep the enemy trapped within the Stronghold until reinforcements arrived. If he could do nothing else, he had to control the network until the rest of the camp was alerted and could take action.

Samuel stared at the monitor. Something else was wrong. He blinked.

_Wait, oh, no_.

This can't be. I'm an isolated terminal. The only shared systems remaining are the aqueduct automatic controls and no one could get into this computer through that- that's not possible…No! No! No!

* * *

"Yessss!" hissed Donatello between his teeth. "Yes, yes, yes…."

* * *

The narrow steel door hissed open from below, air rushing into the vacuum within as it rose.

"It's open!" cried Michaelangelo, pressing around Raphael. The dim light from the outside fell on the two figures within the alcove. Both lay still as death, surrounded by a small, dark, lake of thickening blood. Leonardo lay on his back, arms akimbo, mouth parted, one katana at his side. Lia was curled around and halfway on top of him, as though shielding him, one arm flung protectively across his chest, her face hidden beneath her hair.

Mike knelt beside them, lifting Leonardo's head. "Leo?" he whispered.

There was no response.

"Leo?"

Mike's hand went to his throat, seeking a pulse.

Raphael stood motionless in the doorway, staring at the two silent bodies. He was only barely aware of Casey stepping in closer to stand behind him.

Casey's hand dropped to Raphael's shoulder. "How's it look?" he asked.

Raphael shook his head.

"Mike…" Raph began.

"No!" Michaelangelo's voice shuddered. He dropped his face to Leo's mouth, feeling for breath. "Leo, come on…." He gently shook his brother.

"Mike…"

"No!"

"Mike, he's not gonna wake up…" Raph brought a hand to his eyes. Had someone asked him, he could not have said which was more painful; seeing Leonardo lying cold and dead, or watching Mike's refusal to believe it.

Michaelangelo swallowed hard, looking around the room as though it might hold the answer. He brushed back Lia's hair and absently pulled the slender strap of the blood-soaked green gown back up over her shoulder. She didn't move.

Raphael turned away. "We need to get the hell outta here…" he muttered more to himself since he knew Mike wasn't listening.

Michaelangelo was shaking now, his breath coming in little gulps. "Come on, Leo…please…"

"I -ah- I'll get the thing," offered Casey for lack of anything else to say.

Mike squeezed shut his eyes, biting his lip.

Leonardo's mouth opened a fraction wider. He drew in breath.

"LEO!"

Raphael was on the ground at his side. Leonardo breathed again, choked, and opened his eyes. His arms moved awkwardly as he struggled back to consciousness.

"Leo, easy, don't try to move-" Mike pulled him up to a reclining position and Lia slid limply off of him. Raphael caught her in his arms.

Leonardo gazed around, disoriented, his eyes unfocussed.

"Wha—where-?" he started.

Mike hastily wiped his cheeks. "You're ok, Leo. You're gonna be ok."

Leo nodded, a veil of confusion fogging his awareness. "Yeah, I am…"

Raphael was shaking his head, astonished, rapidly blinking back his own unwanted tears. "You lost so much blood, Leo. We thought…"

"How you feelin'?" asked Casey, still standing in the doorway, one wary eye on the fallen men of the Brotherhood.

"I'm ok…" he rasped weakly.

"Listen guys," said Casey. "I don't mean to rush you, but this door is liable to close again an' we still got a roomful of dissatisfied customers out here."

"Hold it." Leonardo turned to Raphael, propped himself on his elbow, and reached out. "Lia?"

Raphael looked down at her, slumped against his chest, supported in his arms. She didn't move.

"Lia?" Raph echoed.

Lia's head lolled back, lips parted, eyes closed, like lifeless deadweight.

"Lia!"

"What's wrong with her?" asked Casey. "She wasn't hurt, was she?"

"No air," said Mike his eyes wide. "I-I told her to hide in here but I didn't know-"

Painfully Leonardo pulled himself upright. "No, wait…."

Raphael held Lia up and lifted her face, cupping her chin in one hand. He stared, scowling fiercely to hide the fear, and gently shook her shoulders.

"Raph, is she breathing?" Mike blurted.

"I can't tell…no…no. I don't think so…damn."

Casey looked around from one to the other. "Wha- how the hell could that've happened?"

Leonardo made a small, strangled sound in his throat and reached out again but his elbow gave way and he dropped weakly back into Mike's arms.

"Wait," said Raphael, his fingertips resting at Lia's throat. "She's got a pulse…I think." He moved his cheek close to her mouth. "I think she's just – like in a coma or somethin'."

"Ok, look," said Casey. "I suggest we get the hell out of here first. We can't do anything for her here anyway."

"Oh my God..." murmured Michalangelo.

* * *

"Oh my God. This is incredible…" Donatello hit the Enter key again and the image on the screen before him changed again. Before him unfolded diagram after diagram of the labyrinthine network of tunnels and chambers within the mountain that was the Brotherhood's Stronghold.

"That main chamber is like the tip of the iceberg...wow." Don's eyes widened. "I found it…I found the back door...I have to-" Don looked up and around. There was no way to tell them, no way with the radios down, that he could contact the others and tell them what he had found. He wasn't even sure where everyone was, only that he had seen them enter the Stronghold, and not come back out.

Don stared at the screen, eyes tracing the topographic forms and complicated interlacings of lines that marked the passageways, as he committed to memory the information.

When he was sure he had the route memorized he shut off the machine, stood, and taking up his bo, set off across the meadow in the direction of the Stronghold.

* * *

"Come one, come on," urged Casey as he and Mike helped bring Leonardo to his feet. Raphael lifted Lia, avoiding looking at her, biting back any feeling. She lay still in his arms, the blood-soaked gown trailing to the ground. They moved slowly and unsteadily out of the alcove to the main chamber, Casey and Mike supporting Leonardo under his arms, amid the wounded men of the Brotherhood. Casey hefted a hockey stick, and glared at them menacingly, but none made a move to stop the small group of mutants and humans.

"Bleeding's stopped, Leo," said Mike, as much to reassure himself as Leonardo. "It's not lookin' bad at all. We gotta get you some water quick, though. Raph, is Lia…?"

"No. I don't know. Let's just get the hell outta here."

Leonardo, his chest heaving, only in part from exertion, tried once more. "Let me see her."

"I got her Leo. Don't worry."

"No, she did something…"

"Leo, come on. Let's keep moving," said Mike.

They stopped before the main doors, looming over them, shut fast and barring all hope of escape.

"Whaddaya wanna do?" asked Casey. "You think there's another way out? I don't wanna hang around here hopin' the Boy Wonder finds the right button again."

"Run the perimeter," said Leonardo. "Check the wall all around."

"Right." Casey began exploring the carved rock walls of the main chamber. "Watch them!" Casey warned, pointing at the Brotherhood's men.

"Fer sure," said Mike, still supporting Leonardo.

Raphael, clutching Lia's still body in his arms, circled the chamber in the other direction.

Desperate searching yielded nothing. Every group of steel doors was shut fast, and the rock walls revealed no secrets.

"Damn," said Raphael. Casey approached, raising his arms in an exasperated gesture.

"There's gotta be a way out," said Mike. "We gotta get Leo to Splinter. Maybe he can still help Lia, too-"

Raphael shook his head and looked away quickly.

"Oh, man," Mike was nearly in tears again. "Leo, this is my fault."

"Don't, Mike," said Leonardo, his voice low, eyes closed. "It's not…she did something…"

"Ah hell, Mike, you can't blame yourself," growled Raphael roughly. He held Lia tightly, though he didn't look at her. He was also avoiding eye contact with anyone. Whatever was roiling through him he was determined not to let it show.

"Raph, let me see her," said Leo with effort as he struggled weakly to pull away from Mike.

There was a sudden hiss of a pneumatic door opening and a cheery voice called from one of the side passageways "Hey guys!"

"Don!"

"Come on—over here! This leads to the back door!"

"How'd you get that door open?" gaped Casey.

"The button out here on the other side. Come on!" Donatello's grin faded as he caught sight of Lia. "Oh, no. What happened to her?"

"We don't know," said Casey.

"Is she gonna be ok-?"

"We don't know that, either. Come on. Let's get the hell out of here."

"Leo?" asked Don, his eyes widening as he watched Mike help the injured turtle.

"M'ok," said Leonardo.

"Let's move," said Raphael.

"Holy Moly…" whispered Don. "Ok, let's roll. Casey-" Donatello held what looked like a large square battery with wires and a small remote control. "Can you keep this in your bag?"

"What is it?"

"Little something I picked up on my way here. Remote controlled charge. I figured it might come in handy."

Casey grinned and took it.

"Not a very big firecracker there, Donnie," said Raph.

"Hey, beggars can't be choosers," Don tossed back as he led the way out into the dark escape passage.

The cave-like passage through to the other side of the mountain was dark and unadorned. It looked like it had been recently opened and was composed only of raw earth and rock. They quickly filled Donatello in on the events within the Stronghold and then moved on in silent caution. The familiar cool dankness of the underground followed them through the darkness, strangely comforting now. The damp dirt and gravel crunching beneath their feet was the only sound.

A light appeared at the end of the tunnel, and the light grew as they approached and became the rose-gold glow of dawn. They emerged from the tunnel to a gently sloping grassy bank that fell away to a gleaming alpine lake. The surface lay still without a ripple, reflecting back in a perfect mirror image the surrounding rocky, granite mountains.

"Whoa…" breathed Michaelangelo.

"If I'm not mistaken," said Donatello, pointing. "There's a trail head about two hundred yards off that way. It joins a dirt road that should meet the highway pretty close to where we left the car."

"How'd you find this?" asked Mike. "It wasn't on Lia's map."

"She might not have even known about it. It was in the system. Once I found the right files it was easy. Speaking of Lia…."

"Yeah, Raph, come on," said Mike.

"I don't see why we just don't get goin'." Raphael stood his ground, some fierce stubbornness holding sway.

"Let's check her out before we go on," said Don as reasonably as he could. "We need to know how badly she's hurt"

Raphael exhaled sharply. With obvious reluctance he moved to the shelter of a cedar and gently lowered Lia to the ground. She lay still as death. He stood and crossed his arms as his brothers gathered around.

Michaelangelo lifted her wrist. "Come on…." He felt at her throat for a pulse and then put his ear to her chest, listening. "Ok…so why doesn't she wake up?"

"If she really did go without air for too long she could be in a coma, like Raph said," suggested Don. "Which could be serious, since there's a possibility of permanent brain damage-"

"Jeez, Donnie!" snapped Mike.

"You want me to get some cold water from the lake?" asked Casey helpfully.

Mike sat up, shaking his head.

"No." Leonardo touched her cheek. "Lia," he said so softly that Mike barely heard him. "Don't do this. Please don't do this."

Silence answered him. No one moved.

Overhead, over the morning stillness, a small songbird chirruped her morning song. Another joined in. And another.

Leonardo looked up, Mike's gaze following his. Bright birds, yellow, black and red, fluttered half-concealed overhead, skipping among the needled branches of the cedar. Their voices chorused like tiny bells.

Leonardo watched them. _Don't you leave…you promised me you wouldn't leave…._

With a sudden tremble of the branches, the birds darted away. Leonardo watched them go and swallowed hard.

Lia made a small sound and drew in a deep breath.

Mike yelped and Don whooped and Raphael spun around.

"Great oogly moogly…." said Casey, and then grinned.

Leonardo took her hand and watched her eyelids flutter open.

"Leo…"she murmured.

He nodded, holding her hand; nothing betraying the emotions that rampaged through him.

Casey Jones stepped back and lifted his rag-tag golf bag off his shoulder. He fished inside the side pocket for a moment and pulled out the small explosive device. Donatello looked at him, questioning, and Casey tossed his head in the direction of the mouth of the cave.

"Good idea," agreed Don.

"They're not gonna follow us," said Mike, watching as Casey and Don headed up the slope to set the charge.

"Better to be sure," said Raph between his teeth.

"He will…" said Lia. "Alex. He won't give up…Alex will follow…"

"No, he won't," said Raphael, his voice very low.

Lia sank back, closing her eyes, plainly exhausted, and squeezed Leonardo's hand with what strength she had.

Mike shot Raphael a significant look.

"Lia, are you ok?" asked Leonardo.

Lia nodded, not opening her eyes. "He always finds me," she whispered.

"Don't worry," said Leo. "He won't follow. We won't let him."

Raphael started to open his mouth and a quick look from Leo stopped him.

"It can wait, Raph," said Mike softly.

"Ok, move it! Move it!" shouted Casey from the cave entrance. He and Donatello came sprinting down the hillside. They leaped over a fallen log and dropped down low behind it. Further downhill, Mike, Leo, and Raph put themselves between Lia and the direction of the blast. She closed her eyes and covered her ears.

The low rumble of the explosive going off deep within the mountainside sent the songbirds flying from the trees, and ducks took off noisily from the surface of the lake. A cloud of dust coughed out of the cave, billowing on the morning air.

The rolling echo sounded off the surrounding mountainsides.

Raph looked up with a half-grin. "That should fix 'em!"

"Oh, yeah," said Don standing and brushing himself off. "That tunnel is sealed off for sure."

"So, is this a wrap?" asked Michaelangelo looking around brightly. "We're all here, we all got out—"

"We still need to get the hell off this mountain and back to the car," said Raphael.

"Yeah," said Casey. "Time to hit the road."

With Raph and Mike's help, Lia stood. She leaned on Raphael's arm for support.

"Come on," said Casey. "I'll carry ya, kid."

Leonardo stood and staggered against Mike. "Sorry," he mumbled. "Little light- headed…"

"Heh, who's gonna carry you, ya big lug?" asked Casey.

"I'm fine," said Leo. "I can walk."

"Yeah, I've heard that before. You know you lost about a gallon of blood back there, Leo," Mike pointed out. "Maybe you should rest a minute. Drink some water."

Leonardo nodded. Casey pulled a slightly squashed but half- full water bottle from his golf bag and handed it to Leo. Leonardo offered it to Lia.

"I wonder," said Don, "if it wouldn't be quicker to let Leo and Lia rest here while we go down and get the car and come back for them. Neither of you two are in very good shape to hike a couple of miles."

"Yeah, and neither of 'em are in very good shape to take on any creeps that might have followed," said Raphael.

"I'm fine," repeated Leonardo. "That's a good idea, Don. I'll stay with Lia."

"An' who's gonna stay with you?" asked Raphael.

"Coming from the other side of this mountain, someone would have to go all the way around, which is like half a day's hike. And the tunnel's sealed off. And besides, with Sky -ah-" Don stopped and nodded his head toward the bank of the lake. "C'mere."

Don, Mike, Raph and Casey moved off to confer as Lia sat gratefully back down on the soft turf beneath the tree.

Once out of earshot, Don asked, "She doesn't know Skylord's dead, does she?" Mike shook his head.

"What, you think she's gonna mind?" Raph asked incredulous.

"No…well, who knows? But I think we can save it for later. Meanwhile-"

"Let's leave 'em here." Michaelangelo was watching Leonardo crouch down next to Lia.

"You think?"

"Yeah," said Mike. "They'll be fine. We kicked those guys' butts. And like you started to say, Don, with Skylord dead, the last thing they're gonna be thinking about is chasing us."

Casey grinned. "They did look sorta .._disheartened,_ huh?"

Michaelangelo mirrored his grin. "Yeah. Disheartened." He cleared his throat and attempted a serious expression. "I think Leo and Lia will be, you know, just fine here."

Raphael, having missed whatever Mike was trying to convey, rubbed a hand wearily over his face. "Ok, fine, whatever. Let's roll, then."

They sat together beneath the sweeping boughs of the cedar as the sun slowly climbed over the eastern slopes and lit the treetops with a fiery gold that chased back the shadows of the night. Bird songs filled the air. They sat in silence, side by side, shoulders touching, leaning against the tree trunk, gazing at the placid stillness of the lake. For a long while there wasn't any need to talk.

Leonardo spoke first. "He hurt you, didn't he?"

Lia chewed on her lip and narrowed her eyes watching the water. "He was crazy, Leo. One minute it was like he wanted to kill me and the next all he wanted to do was…um…you know, get me pregnant."

"Did he?"

Lia looked at him and then quickly down, the look in his eyes making her sorry she ever brought it up. "I won't know for a while," she said quietly.

"Oh." Leo dropped his gaze, fought to get his emotions and breathing back under control. "I'm sorry," he said after a moment. "I wasn't there. I should have been there."

"You _were_ there, Leo. I felt you there, the whole time. I'm here now because you were there. And because you came for me. He could have killed me this time. But more likely I would have killed myself. You stopped me."

"I had promised you this would never happen-"

"There was nothing you could have-"

Leonardo looked down. "I promised."

"Leo, how could you have known what was inside Jake? How are you going to fight a demon that can occupy another persons' body? We never knew who he was-"

"Demon…?"

"Ashmedai. One of the Fallen Angels. He had taken over Jake's body. And Casey's, too. He can move temporarily from person to person. And if he is granted permission to occupy a person's body, he can stay indefinitely. You couldn't have known that. I didn't. Alex was so full of himself he told me everything."

"A demon," Leo repeated uncertainly.

"Yes. Alex summoned him up from…wherever it is that demons are. I don't believe in Hell, but I don't know where else it could have come from."

"Was it really a demon, though? I thought all of Skylord's so-called magic was illusions and mind control."

"This, I think, was real. I didn't know Alex's magic was that strong, either." Lia closed her eyes. "There is something so much darker about him now. He keeps growing darker, and stronger. It's like, like there's something pushing him, driving him further into….that."

"But Skylord didn't use magic against us this time. I kept expecting it, but he didn't."

"I think that holding Ashmedai under his control took everything he had." Lia paused. "Leo, how do you feel?"

He blinked, not sure if she meant his body or his heart.

"I mean, are you in pain?"

"Not really."

"You wouldn't tell me if you were."

He smiled slightly. "A little stiff."

"Can I…?" Lia leaned back, one hand touching the ridge of his carapace behind his head. Leonardo hesitated, then leaned forward.

The split in his shell, angled down from his shoulder to the center of his back. Nearly an inch wide, it was caked with dried, black blood.

"Well?" asked Leo.

"It looks like it's pretty well closed over. Not bleeding at all anymore…." She touched the cool, hard surface. The mottled, rippled skutes were rutted with scars. Lia cleared her throat, forcing down the tightness that had formed there. "It looks ok, Leo."

He leaned back again against the tree. "I need to ask you something," he said softly.

"Hm?"

He pulled a charred piece of paper from his belt. "April found this in the fireplace at the campground."

"What is it?"

"The map you drew of the Brotherhood's compound. I have to know. Did you throw it in the fire?"

Lia looked puzzled. "No. Why would I do that?"

"I don't know. I was worried that you were having second thoughts. That you didn't trust us. Didn't trust me."

"Leo, I trust you." Lia swallowed. "I've never trusted anyone the way I trust you."

He caught her eyes in his, and held them. Green child's eyes gazed back into his, guileless. He drew in a breath and looked down. He began thoughtfully folding the paper in his hand. He turned it, slowly folding again, and again.

"What are you making?"

He opened up the graceful paper wings. "It's a crane."

"Origami?"

"Mh hm."

"A paper crane…" Lia frowned. "Wasn't there some story about paper cranes and Hiroshima?"

Leonardo nodded, staring at the crane in his hand, furrowed his brow. "I just saw this, just recently, like in a dream…I remember something. Lia, what did you do?"

"What?"

"What did you do, last night, while we were in that little room? What happened?"

Lia shrugged and shook her head. "Nothing. I cried and yelled."

"No, you did something. I know you did. Lia, I was gone. I felt myself leave. And I know you were there, somehow…you spoke with someone…."

Lia looked at him quickly. "They said you couldn't hear."

"Who?"

"It was a dream. I had a dream."

"And I dreamed the same thing."

Lia looked again out over the mirrored surface of the water.

"Lia, look at me. I can't -I'm not hiding anything, I can't hide anything from you anymore. What you see is who I am. Don't hide from me."

She turned to him and fell into his clear crystalline blue eyes.

"You offered them—you offered something to someone, in exchange for me. I know you did that. Lia, what did you give them?"

Lia shook her head. "I don't know. They didn't take what I offered. I don't know."

"You offered yourself."

Lia looked down.

"Why?"

"Because your life is important—because you – because-" Lia bit her lip, tears clouding her vision. "No. Because I wouldn't want to live in a world where you were not, anyway."

Leonardo inhaled sharply. He reached for her, drew her to him. She held him, dropping her face into his shoulder, muffling a little sob in the warmth of his skin.

"Shh, its ok," he said, wrapping his arms around her. He couldn't explain how it could be ok; it didn't matter. She pressed against him, her arms circling his neck and he held her tighter.

"Oh god, Leo…" Lia buried her face in his neck, breaking altogether, clinging to him, her shoulders shaking.

Leonardo squeezed shut his eyes, holding her as fiercely as she held him. He silenced the wild promises, crazy vows, that thrust their way up inside him before he could speak them. But he couldn't silence the thoughts, or feel anything but overwhelmed by his own heart.

"Lia…." His voice was thick in her hair.

Lia made a small sound and he answered with another.

"Hm?"

"I think I've been wrong about you."

"What do you mean?" Lia lifted her face.

The creases in his cheeks deepened. "I mean, all this time I thought you needed my protection. I thought you were so….helpless. I think I underestimated you."

She lowered her eyes.

"I think there might be a lot more to you than you let on. I never asked you about that tea, or whatever it was, that you gave us at the Cathedral."

"That was Belladonna's recipe."

"Ok. But this…"

"Prayers get answered, Leo. That's all."

Leonardo shook his head, still holding her. "Lia, please tell me what you haven't told me."

Lia looked down and started to bite a nail, then waved her hand as though chasing back some unwanted thought. "Ok. It's just that….ok. Leo, you remember I told you about Jimmy, my Mom's boyfriend?"

"You didn't like him."

"He scared me. He used to try to come into my bedroom at night. I used to push my furniture against the door to keep him out. Or jump out the window."

"What was your Mom doing while this was going on?"

"She was usually passed out."

"So you ran away."

Lia nodded. "Yeah. Lots. But one time, something happened to him. Something bad happened to him…."

"Good."

"No. See, I caused it to happen. And um…" Lia's voice dropped to a whisper. "I made a promise to never do that again. It scared me. I mean, I hated him, he was a jerk, and a drug addict, and he really hurt my Mom, but I never meant -I never meant to hurt anyone like that. But I did. So I never did anything like that again."

Leonardo said nothing for a moment. He cleared his throat. "You think what you were able to do- call me back- or whatever you did, was somehow like the same thing as what happened to him?"

"In some ways it felt the same. The same kind of emotional…intensity."

Leo frowned.

"Outrage. Like absolute primal outrage."

Leonardo's eyes widened and then a tiny smile tugged at one corner of his mouth. "Remind me to not to get you mad."

Lia giggled. Leonardo pulled her closer, away from the tree trunk. Holding her, and he gently laid her down on the soft, needle-carpeted earth. Her hair spread like a red-gold fan on the ground. He leaned over her, lowering his body gently down as his mouth found hers.

She held his face, his wide jaw in her hands, then ran her fingertips over his shoulders, over their hardness. She wanted to cry and laugh and drink him in all at once, drown in his scent and forget everything else in the delicious pressure of his weight on top of her, lose herself in him and his immediate, powerful, aliveness.

"You ok?" he whispered.

She nodded.

"You're crying."

"I know." She moved her body against his and felt him shudder. "Maybe you're right, Leo. Maybe there is such a thing as perfect…."

"They'll be back soon, you know," he said.

"Do you care?"

"No."

He brushed away her tears and kissed her again. Warm and deep, where nothing else existed but their shared breath, their mouths together, and the swiftly rising heat of the force that had brought them there.

A sharp breeze kicked up, hissing over the cedar needles, moving the branches with a sudden uneasy jerkiness. Leonardo became aware of something other than Lia when a spiky switch struck his leg. He raised his head and was hit with a handful of pebbles and wind driven dust.

"What the-?" He looked back over his shoulder

A great black cloud was rolling over the top of the mountain on the far side of the lake, darkening the morning, blotting out the sun.

"Leo-?"

"That's not—that's not natural."

Lia raised herself up on her elbows and gasped. In shock both stared as a cold wind hit them in the face, dank and foul smelling, sending leaves and dust flying. A sound rose; the slow, rhythmic throb of great wings, flapping – and a hideous metallic shriek shattered the air.

"NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo!"

Ashmedai is Free!

And Ashmedai Forbids This!

Come now to Me and Die,

Abomination!

A huge creature, leathery-winged, with the face of a charred hawk's skull, flew toward them from out of the cloud. It reared back above them grunting and snorting, its body bony, black and hard, more skeletal than flesh. The wings beat the wind into a fury, ripping through the tree branches. Its voice howled on the air.

Leonardo leaped to his feet, drew his katana, and moved toward the water's edge. The blinding wind ripped at his bandana, dust pelted his face.

"Leo!" screamed Lia.

"Stay there! Don't worry. I've taken him before."

"Leo!"

Leonardo gazed up at the thirty-foot tall creature looming dizzily before him in the blackened sky.

He is a little bigger this time. But as they say, the bigger they are…


	22. Chapter 22

_**The Journey Home**_

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

* * *

"So what're we going to do?"

"Well, by law we cannot continue to hold her here."

"By _law _we had no grounds to bring her here in the first place."

The two men gazed out through the narrow slates of the blinds. The darkness of the small office contrasted sharply with the brilliant sunlight of the Massachusetts morning. The first cleared his throat, took a last drag on his cigarette and stumped it out.

"Let her go."

The second man, distinguishable from the first only by a somewhat younger appearance, cleared his throat. "Jay…."

"They've shut us down, Ham. There's been no activity at the house in over a week. All resources have been routed back to the home office except us. It's not like we've got a lot of choices here. Maybe she really doesn't know anything."

"She knows she's been questioned by the government." Ham gave his partner a significant look.

"We can't deep six every potential witness."

The younger man shook his head in disagreement. "That's a discretionary issue."

"And that's our new Central Ops talking."

"He's instigated several policy changes."

"And he's probably the reason we're getting called back out of the field, you know."

"He seems pretty effective. What division did he come from?"

"I don't think anyone in our section knows. He arrived the same time that new research administrator came on board."

"That's right. Doctor Emmerson and…what's his name? They used a code letter to identify him. What is it...?"

"N."

"That's right. Just N. Very mysterious."

"No mysteries, Ham. Remember that. Only unknowns waiting for us to find the answers."

"Right. So?" Ham glanced again in the direction of the door.

Jay rose and crossed to the door, opening it. The elderly woman in the adjoining room jumped in her chair and blinked at him through her thick glasses.

"Mrs. Davis. You're free to go."

"I am?"

"Yes, ma'am. Go feed that invisible cat."

* * *

Ashmedai circled, wings beating the wind into an erratic cyclone of dark, blowing dust. The trees bent before it and the sky darkened.

Lia stood and braced herself against the rough bark of the cedar tree behind her, the boughs twisting and whipping around her. She raised her arms against the wind-driven debris, at the same time trying not to lose sight of the turtle warrior where he stood before her, challenging the immense winged demon. Through narrowed eyes she could see the wide, black crack running at an angle through his carapace, from the left shoulder inward, forming an X with the skin-wrapped sheathes. He held both katana aloft, and pivoted, following Ashmedai's course.

The demon dropped in close, banking at an angle, his neck snaking out, mouth wide for the attack, claws reaching for the turtle that blocked his path. Leonardo stuck out at its throat; a backhand slice with the right followed by a lateral strike with the left. Ashmedai veered and rose suddenly upward, avoiding the blades by mere inches. He wheeled over head, ripping the air with another shrill, metallic scream.

Leonardo drew back, collecting himself, softening his grip on his katana, ready.

Ashmedai flew down again, diving in very close and again, only barely escaping Leonardo's weapons. The force of the shock from the heavy wings against the air was nearly enough to knock the turtle over, yet the demon continued to dive in and veer away.

Leonardo squinted against the flying dust and plant debris. He knew Ashmedai was not randomly striking at him only to miss and fly off again. Each feint brought him closer to the water's edge, and he would have to make his move soon. Leonardo felt his own cold determination strengthen him, steady him, preparing for the kill.

Darkening gray clouds closed around Ashmedai, eerily obscuring him from sight. The morning air took on a strangely chilling cold. Leonardo waited.

Nothing, for a long moment, as the black clouds rolled and boiled overhead. And then, a tear in the darkness, and the black, bony, shape came screaming out of the clouds, drilling toward him, dropping out of the sky like a cast stone.

Leonardo leaped forward to meet him, running into the shallow, cold water. An instant before they came together, Ashmedai shot upward another 20 feet over his head, veered, and dove for Lia.

"No!" Leonardo spun around, and then stumbled, his legs suddenly unwilling. He looked down and saw the water solidifying around him, changing even as he watched from an icy slush to a solid frozen mass.

With not a moment wasted in astonishment, Leonardo hacked furiously at the ice encasing his legs. Hard ice chips flew from the surface, but his legs remained trapped.

Lia stood stock still, braced against the trunk of the tree as Ashmedai closed the space between them. Her bare toes curled into the soft earth, she listened to her own breathing, slowing, pacing, reaching inside herself. She fixed her gaze on the demon's face, and stared unflinching into the black pits where its eyes should have been. She felt a gentle tingle from the soles of her feet up her legs, into her body, and with it a strong, assured, calm. Time slowed, leaving space, leaving a pause.

Slowly Lia raised her arms overhead, and as she did the graceful branches of the cedar began to sway before her, back and forth, with a hypnotic rhythm, matching Lia's breath.

Ashmedai slowed in his flight, and then stopped. Black leathery wings held him suspended not seven feet off the ground. His head darted from side to side as though he was trying to find her, as though he had lost her amid the swaying branches.

He raised his head, arching his neck, and drawing himself up. The hooked beak face grimaced into something resembling a hideous grin.

I see you.

You cannot hide.

You are Mine, little witch.

Now let Me In - !

With a sudden horrible squawk, Ashmedai convulsed. He rolled to one side, claws frantically tearing at his side where a gleaming, silvery katana was embedded to the hilt. His back legs tore at the earth as he struggled to remain airborne. Winds whipped in a cold frenzy. He twisted, jaws snapping at his small, fierce, adversary.

Ashmedai screamed again, foaming blood and froth. Leonardo jumped clear, recovered and spun, second katana aloft, closing in, looking for his opening. The demon suddenly wrenched and twisted the other way, backing up, desperately reaching behind, where a second reptile warrior clung to his back, a pair of sai thrust into his flesh. Ashmedai lost his footing, back legs entangled in the wooden weapons of two more turtles, and Leonardo flew at the beast. His blade cut deep into Ashmedai's throat. The demon's scream became a choking gargle as black blood spurted. Raphael leaped away; Mike and Don rolled. Ashmedai convulsed and shuddered, again clawing at the sky, as his head bent to one side and swung loose. The turtles fell back, staring.

The demon slid down heavily to the ground, kicked feebly, and then lay still. The body began to smoke, the black flesh buckled and shrunk as though burning. With a stench –filled, gassy hiss, the entire thing imploded in upon itself, leaving nothing but a dark, smoldering place on the earth.

Four turtles gathered slowly around the black spot. After a moment Leonardo carefully withdrew his katana; Raphael picked up his sai. Don and Mike exchanged looks which could have been interpreted as a silent "wow'.

Lia closed her eyes, heaved a sigh, and slumped back against the cedar.

From the little hillside above, Splinter, upon seeing all four sons alive and whole, stumbled to his knees. Casey caught him under his arm, steadying him. The old rat regained his composure, nodded his head and absently patted Casey's arm.

April held Rose to her, keeping her face averted as the child clung to her.

And Cryssie, gazing awe-filled at the spectacle, clutched Adam's arm in one hand, and Sean's with the other. She stared speechless as the gray smoke rose off the spot where the demon's body had been, and then felt a sudden sensation in her abdomen. It was like a small shock wave, a thump in her womb, and had she not been so distracted she would have concluded her baby had given his first kick.

Raphael turned to Donatello. "They'll be ok, huh, Donnie?" he snarled. " No one's gonna follow, huh?"

Don looked from one to the other, "Well, we _are _all ok, right?"

"Lia! You ok?" shouted Mike over his shoulder.

From beneath the tree, Lia grinned wanly and raised a thumb. "Yeah…no problem."

"See?" said Mike.

Raphael grunted in disgust and turned away.

"Well?" Mike persisted.

Leonardo rolled his eyes, and Don shook his head.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," said Mike, agreeing at least with himself.

* * *

Lia lay on her stomach in the soft new grass in the morning sun. The heat felt delicious on her back, radiating deep. She could imagine energy passing right through her, into the earth, relaxing and melting her, bringing a pleasant, drowsy sense of well-being.

Despite everyone's exhaustion, Casey had driven for nearly 24 hours straight. The turtles and the rest of the humans had managed to sleep most of the way, while Casey, with his iron will, pressed on. He never returned to the main highway, but took instead back roads and odd routes until at last they had pulled over on National Forest land on the western reaches of Idaho.

Lia could see Rose, not far off, giggling as she ran between Mike and Cryssie. With a sigh, Lia sank her head back into her arms, grateful for the moment of peace. For as much as she could imagine, she felt safe. There was distance between her and the source of all her fears now.

She felt only the faintest vibration, heard the soft bending of the grass. She opened her eyes.

Two green toes. Two more on the other side. Lia looked up, squinting into the glare of the sun. Raphael.

He squatted down in front of her and wordlessly gestured to her left hand. She looked at it, not understanding. Raphael lifted her hand, and gently slid the ring off her third finger.

Lia gasped.

He took her ring, bearing the sign of the Kether, her wedding ring, which had once been impossible to remove, and dropped it over the point of his sai. It clinked melodically against the other ring, the larger one on the center prong.

Raphael looked into her face for an instant, then slid both rings into his hand, and pressed them into Lia's.

"He won't hurt you anymore, Lia."

She stared at the two rings, identical except for size, gleaming in her palm. She found herself trembling.

"Raph…is he…?" she whispered, unable to say any more.

"He's dead." Raphael looked at the ground, ran his tongue over his teeth then abruptly stood and walked away.

Lia watched him leave then looked down at the rings. She closed her shaking hands around them and lowered her head, trying not to cry, trying not to give in to the overwhelming emotion breaking over her. She couldn't identify what she was feeling. Is it shock? Shock that he could be gone? She didn't love him; she hated and feared Alexander Skylord with a sort of visceral depth that grew out of terror for her life. Even before his demanding need for control had spiraled out of control, she had come to understand that she would never be allowed to be even superficially herself with him, and her innermost self would never be safe with him.

But he had always been there. Like a monolith, like this great highway across the country, he had been a part of the architecture of her mind for so long. Since he had saved her from the path she had begun to walk when she fled her crumbling family, he had been the central figure, the most important force in her life.

Helpless to stop it, her mind rolled back to the first time she had seen him. It was the first lecture that Samuel had persuaded her to attend. Alexander Skylord had taken the dark stage, draped in a long black cape, his pale blond hair falling about his shoulders. By the end of his presentation he had, with a perfectly timed sense of drama, seduced the entire audience. He spoke low and deep, and as the lights came up slowly, the urgency in his voice heightened with each pronouncement. At the climax he had ripped open his shirt, baring a powerful chest and pounding his fist over his heart, driving home his message of quasi-spiritual hope and self-empowerment.

Lia thought she had seen God in the flesh.

He _was_ her god, the all-powerful one, and the feared one. The one who ruled her life whether he was with her or not, a constant to be accounted for in every plan, every movement, every decision.

A sudden sense of loss washed over her.

We all must ground against something. I have set my ground against the gravitational pull of this man for so long, without him I don't know—how will I know who I am?

_I lost myself in Alex. Or did I find myself in him? Who was I before Alex? A frightened 13 year old, on the run. Even these past three years spent with Belladonna were spent in reaction to the time I spent with Alex. My baby, my own child, the one being on the planet who is more connected to me than anyone, is half Alex. Who am I, if not the young girl in awe, in love, in terror of him?_

And now he's gone. Have I let him take me with him, then? How do I pick up the threads, reweave a life that never was before?

She squeezed closed her eyes, and tried not to cry. Her ears sang with the force of unshed dropped her face into her bare arms, hiding. She clenched the rings in her fist until her palm hurt and sobbed silently.

_Am I crying for Alex or am I crying for myself? I don't even know…._

Someone else was sitting nearby. She could feel him. Lia hiccupped and then held her breath, listening.

She knew who it was.

Wiping her eyes she looked up. "I-I'm sorry," she mumbled.

"Why are you sorry?" Leonardo was sitting cross-legged beside her.

"I shouldn't be crying. I should be…I don't know…" Lia gazed down at her hands. "I don't understand. It's like there's a big hole somewhere now- "

"Raph told you?"

Lia nodded.

He sucked in his cheeks, watching her face.

"I don't know why I'm crying."

"I think I do."

Lia sniffed and shook her head. "It's not what you think, Leo. It's not because I miss him, or ever would want to…No. Never. I just- "

"Lia, I think I do understand. I killed my worst enemy. Remember?"

Lia nodded. "But…"

"Just listen, ok?" he said softly. "I killed the man who had shaped our lives since before we knew. Long before we could understand, Oroku Saki was defining for us who we were to become. Splinter had raised us with that as the primary mission of our lives. We were too young to understand that there could be anything else." Leo took a breath and looked down for a moment. "I told you once there was satisfaction, but no happiness for myself in that moment, remember? I think I know better why that was now. He and I were bound, by fate, by destiny, so connected, that Saki was a part of me. His death was also the death of a part of me."

Watching him, Lia's eyes filled again_. _

"So what do you do…with that loss?" she asked.

"The 'loss'? Hm. I don't know. I think I just live with it. I think at some time in the future, more could be revealed. I'll either understand better, or I'll get past it. I know that may not help you much. I wish I knew better what to say." He paused and scratched his nose. "You know, I don't think I ever thought of it exactly that way – like a loss."

"Yeah," said Lia. "You used the word 'death.'"

"It seems more like a death. 'Loss' I think of like losing face, you know?"

"What exactly does that mean, 'losing face'?" asked Lia.

"Like shame. Like being exposed. When you lose, like," Leonardo gestured with his hands like a shield in front of him. "That dignity, the face you wear before other people."

"Is that a bad thing?"

Leo blinked.

"I mean," she said. "Seems like dropping the façade is a good thing. It would let people see you. Let people get close to you."

"I guess…" Leonardo frowned a little. "Maybe you need to, sometimes…"

"Like you would have to lose face in love. Or like maybe love would force you to."

He was watching her eyes, the small shy smile curving his mouth. "Yeah, I think it forces you to…"

She suddenly ached to reach for him and hold him, and she knew with everyone else so near, she dared not. She wanted to tell him, right now, how much she felt for him. Just tell him, now-

_"Mommy!"_ Rose came tearing up, smiling happily. She leaped at her mother. Lia caught her up and rolled onto her back. She held her daughter against her, laughing and tickling her. Rose squealed and giggled, struggling to escape.

Leonardo watched their gentle tussle, his small smile thoughtful, and a little sad.

* * *

Wind again. Now it was dry and hot and dusty. If anyone in the traveling party had had a fondness for the wind at some time in the past, they certainly did not now. For three weeks it had been the harbinger of bad tidings. Driving into the barren, northern end of Nevada with the dust and grit blowing in through the many shot gun holes in the travel trailer was not comfortable, but the mood among the small group remained positive and happy. Mike and Don had done as much repair work on the walls as they could with duct tape, but the truth was, the interior of the once clean little trailer was destroyed.

Cryssie seemed to be suffering the most. Between the blowing dust and the increased motion in the trailer causing her nausea, no one expected her to ride anywhere but in the car.

Leonardo had finally convinced Casey he should drive and had taken the wheel in the late afternoon. Donatello had appointed himself navigator. The hope was to drive through the night and then make camp and rest somewhere cool during the heat of the day.

The passengers in the trailer were taking advantage of the evening cool and were sleeping; some crowded on the floor, some in what was left of the small cots. Lia was curled on the lower bunk, facing the rear wall. From out of a deep sleep she became aware of someone slipping onto the mattress behind her. She stirred, dreamily reaching back with a hand. Instead of encountering her daughter, as she expected, her hand touched a smooth, hard surface. She started to turn over.

"Shh. It's ok," a male voice whispered. "Too crowded on the floor. Just go back to sleep."

Lia stiffened, realizing who it was. Then she scooted closer to the wall.

Raphael pressed in closer, his hard plastron against her back, and Lia swallowed nervously.

I can't tell him to get out of here. He can't sleep on the floor where there's no room. I guess it's ok. He's not doing anything…

She felt Raphael's hand settle lightly gently on her hip, his fingers closing gently, holding her.

"Um…" she whispered.

Raphael began softly snoring.

Even after her heart slowed to a normal rate, Lia did not go back to sleep.

* * *

It was mid-morning when they pulled up at the outskirts of a small town next to a mobile home park. There was a little market, gas station, and restrooms. A stand of trees nearby afforded some cover for those who should not be seen by the trailer park residents.

Cryssie leaped out of the car and headed for the phone booth. Adam climbed out next, looking frazzled and worried. Coming from the trailer, Lia approached him, Rose holding her hand.

"What's up?"

Adam half-shrugged and gestured in Cryssie's direction, looking confused. "She's been having a rough time-" he began. He glanced uncomfortably over at Casey who was shaking his head as he climbed out of the back seat.

"Is she sick?" asked Lia.

"Mommy!" Rose tugged on her mother's hand. "Gotta go potty!"

"No. No. She's decided she wants to see her family. She…ah…" Adam looked helpless. "I don't get it. Last week all she wanted to do was get as far from them as possible. Now she wants to reach her dad at his new job. She's, like, desperate."

Lia frowned. "Where's her dad?"

_"Mommy,"_ persisted Rose with greater urgency.

"Some research facility place in Nevada. What was it? DAP…?"

"I think she had said it was D.A.R.P.A.," said April, joining them. April was not looking very well rested either. She brushed back her wavy black hair with one hand. The wind blew it back into her face.

"Yeah. That's it. D.A.R.P.A.

To Rose's frustration, Lia followed Adam over to where Cryssie was practically shouting into the phone.

"What do you mean? Then put me through to someone who can tell me! Emmerson. That's right; Dr. Stephen Emmerson." Cryssie looked up from the phone. "I can't believe these people," she said to Adam.

"You sure you have the right number?"

"Yes, I'm sure. It's the number my sister gave me….Hello? Yes? No-wait! Don't you put me on hold again!"

Adam rolled his eyes and stood by her. "You want anything to eat?" he asked.

Cryssie shook her head impatiently. As she waited for someone to come back on line she absently stroked her belly.

"Hey!" called Casey. "Leo's gonna move the car." He pointed to the small group of trees and brush that clustered a low area on the far side of the mobile home park. As he pulled out, Lia took Rose to find the restrooms.

The tree-sheltered area turned out to hold a rather deep ravine with a small stream running through it. Tall grasses provided some cover for the turtles so they could stretch their legs. Splinter had slipped away as well, saying he would return in an hour. Lia wanted to talk to at least two turtles and set off into the brush to find them. In the deep grass, Leonardo passed by her as he was heading back to the trailer. She opened her mouth to say something, but saw Donatello was with him and stopped.

"I need to sleep," Leo said quietly, catching her eye. She could almost hear the unspoken _"we'll talk later"._

She watched them climb the embankment and quickly slip back into the trailer where Sean still slept. Lia exhaled with frustration. She needed to talk to him and there seemed to be no way, just then, to get him alone.

With Raphael at her back, she had spent a long sleepless night thinking about what she had allowed to go by at the campground in Canada. She had left Raphael hanging on his own assumption that at some time in the future she would consider being closer to him. She was not entirely sure what Raphael wanted, or if he even knew what he wanted from her, but she knew she had to get straight with him. Last night had made that very clear. He may have tried to play it off as an innocent thing, but Lia knew in her heart it was not. And the small, fiery thrill she had felt at his touch, which she only reluctantly admitted to herself, made stronger her resolve to tell him the truth.

She would have preferred to talk to Leo first, let him know what she was going to do. She frowned, realizing she had never even told him what had happened between her and Raph. It seemed the opportunity simply was never there.

With Rose in tow she made her way further down the rocky embankment.

"Mommy! Yook—water!"

"Um hum…" Lia couldn't see him, but she was sure he had come down this way. She held Rose's little hand firmly guiding her over the broken terrain. She looked up and down the stream, seeing no one.

"I'm over here," said Raphael upstream to her right.

Lia jumped, just a little. She was expecting it, yet he still always managed to unnerve her somehow. The tension she felt around him seemed to always change form, but there was always a tension.

She followed the sound of his voice, picking her way around broken rock and brambles and found him perched on a boulder, crouched down, arms clasped about his legs. He was waiting for her.

"Hey...hi," she said.

"Yeah, hi," he answered. "You lookin' for me?"

Lia nodded and came closer. "Raph, I need to talk to you."

"So talk."

Touching the granite boulder Lia looked up at him. It wasn't going to be especially comfortable talking to him up there, she thought, but if that was the way he wanted it, fine. His face was impassive; a cool, dark, green facade, half obscured by his crossed arms. From a short distance away he might have looked like another large boulder. Rose sat by the shallow stream and began lifting small rocks from the water and arranging them on the coarse sand. Lia's hair moved restlessly in the breeze. She brushed it back from her face.

So talk…

"Um…Raph, I think there's something I need to clear up with you. I know there was a misunderstanding, and I know it's all my fault-"

He raised his head just a bit. She could feel him react, see him take in a breath, set his mouth in a hard line. She didn't dare stop. She had to keep going while her resolve was still strong.

"I think I left you with the impression that I wanted, or that I was expecting, something more between us than friendship. Like something was supposed to happen. And the thing is, I have to tell you –"

"Stop."

Lia paused. "What I'm trying to say is-"

"Don't." He sat up straighter. "Don't go giving me some crap about wanting to just be friends. Just don't even-" He looked away. She could see his agitation, but she had to finish this.

"Raph, look, I know this is gonna sound lame, but I do, very much, care about you. Care _for_ you. Please believe me, but-"

"Stop it. Knock it off. I don't wanna hear this. Oh, what? What is it? You like me fine from a distance? But a chick like you couldn't actually _touch _some ugly, little freak, huh?"

"No, no. I told you before, that's not the issue-"

"Not anything you could imagine getting close to, huh?"

"Raph, stop. That's not fair-"

"Oh, that's _not fair? _You tell _me_ about unfair." He looked away again, avoiding her gaze. He almost seemed to be shaking. Worse than that, was how much pain and bitter anger she could see in his eyes.

"Raph…"

"Forget it, Lia. Don't say another word, ok? Just forget about it."

Lia brought her hands over her eyes. "Raphael, please. I'm sorry. I know this is my fault for not being clearer. I never meant to hurt you, and I'm so sorry—"

"Waph's not dere, Mommy," said Rose from where she sat by the water.

Lia opened her eyes and looked up at the boulder overhead. Rose was right. Raphael was gone.

With a deep sigh Lia turned and sat on the gravelly creek bed next to Rose. She picked up one of her daughter's small stones, turning it over in her hand thoughtfully.

"Dat goes dere," Rose pointed.

Lia replaced it. "I dunno, Rosie, what do you think? Maybe it's better to just let him think I'm a jerk. Maybe it's easier for him to think I'm rejecting him for not being ...human…"

"Maybe," parroted Rose agreeably. She began rearranging her stone structure.

"I mean, this way it's more about me. Maybe that's easier than having to tell him it is because of who he is personally. How he is. That would hurt more."

_Or that the real reason is because I love his brother more than I love my own life…._

"Waph hurt?" asked Rose, looking up.

"No, he's not hurt sweetie. He's ok."

_But he is. I think I've hurt him more than I would have thought I could. Again._

Oh, damn.

By the time Lia had made her way back up to the market, Cryssie and Adam were standing by the Greyhound bus sign outside the door with their backpacks. Adam was not looking very happy. April stood by them as the wind gusted around in little dry flurries.

"Look, you guys don't have to take off now," April was saying. "We're going to drive further south into Nevada before we hit the Interstate and we go west."

Cryssie was resolute. "No. The sooner we catch this bus directly to Tonopah, the sooner we'll be able to figure out how to get to the research facility."

Adam shrugged. He looked like he had already lost a battle and was preparing to lose another.

The turtles had retreated to the concealing shelter of the travel trailer. Before Casey had even had the chance to announce they would be driving on a little further before resting for the day, the bus had come and picked the two young travelers up and driven off with them.

"Whoa, that was abrupt," said Lia.

April nodded, tapping a nail on her teeth. "Weird, too. Because the whole time we were waiting for the everyone to get back from Skylord's compound, while we were working on the car, all she was talking about was how she didn't get along with her dad. She kept saying she and Adam needed to make their own life together now with the baby on the way. And now it's like she's done a complete about-face."

"Hm," said Lia. "Weird."

"Women," snorted Casey, as if that explained everything.

April and Lia both turned to look at him.

Casey raised his arms as though anticipating a physical assault. "Hey, I ain't sayin' nothin!"

From inside the trailer, Michaelangelo watched the bus pull away. "She didn't even say goodbye," he said sadly.

Raphael, sitting on the trailer floor kicked at an empty Styrofoam cup. "I hate to be the one to say I told you so, Mikey, but I told you so. She didn't care. Just like all the rest of 'em. She looked at us and just saw some weird freaks, y'know?"

Michaelangelo looked over at his brother. "Thanks, Raph. I feel so much better now."

"Hey, any time."

Mike gazed out the window again. "Still…"

"Mike," said Raphael. _"Humans."_

Michaelangelo frowned and turned to sit on the floor opposite him. "Nah, you can't say that Raph. Come on. You know better than all of us that's not true."

Raphael shook his head. "No, I don't."

"You know what I mean. You know first hand. You and Sunni-"

"Don't go there, Mike."

Michaelangelo frowned. "Don't you think about her?"

"No."

Mike started to say something but Raphael cut him off. "No. No, I don't. You know why? 'Cause it hurts too fuckin' much, ok? That's why." Raphael looked hastily up at the bunk to be sure neither Don or Leo had heard him. They both appeared to be sound asleep. "That was **one** woman, Mike. The one person in all the world -" His voice caught and he shut his eyes tightly. "So, just forget it, ok? I don't wanna talk about it." He drew his knees up before him and dropped his head into his arms, the only place he could hide.

"Ok, bro," said Mike softly. "I understand. I'm just glad you didn't mean what you said before."

"What?" Raphael asked without looking up.

"Last week, I think. You said that you were only interested in getting what you could. Something like that."

Raphael's broad shoulders jerked and shuddered. "Back off, Mike," he said thickly. "Just drop it, ok?"

"Ok. Ok." Michaelangelo paused wondering what had triggered this for his brother. He was fairly certain it was not Cryssie and Adams' sudden departure. "I'm just sorry, Raph. If I never actually said that before, I'm sorry you lost her."

"_SHUTTUP!"_ Raphael roared, lifting his head. _"Argh!"_ He leaped up and jerked open the trailer door, and bolted out.

"Wait! Raph - you can't go out there!" cried Mike.

"What the hell…?" Leonardo groggily raised his head from the bunk.

"Ah…Raph was… ah…upset. He ran out of here."

"Oh, terrific." Leonardo rubbed his eyes. "All we need now is for him to be seen."

Donatello groaned and rolled over. "Great. What now?"

"You know," grumbled Leo. "Just once, it would be so refreshing for Raph to think about other people and consider the consequences of his actions."

* * *

"From here it's a little more than a day's hike in." Lia pointed to a wide spot between two trees in the forest. "Through there, there's a sort of trail. But this is it, as far as the road goes."

A somewhat uncomfortable silence followed as everyone hesitated to make a suggestion as to what to do next. They stood in a clearing where the dirt road had ended deep in a forest of oaks and pines and firs. The warm air hung heavy with the sweet scent of blooming blackberries and wild grapevines.

"Well," said April after a moment. "We drove all night and morning. Its after 12 noon now. Probably too late to try and hike in today.

"We should make camp here," said Leonardo decisively. "We can decide in the morning who will hike in with you."

Lia looked back over her shoulder at him and bit her lip.

"Sounds like a good idea to me," said Casey and the rest quickly agreed.

Once more, they set up camp and ate lunch. It was a quiet meal; nearly everyone seemed lost in his own thoughts. Raphael had wolfed down his sandwich and took off to restlessly roam around the perimeter of the clearing. When they had cleaned up, April announced she would like to take a nap.

Casey grinned. "You go on ahead. I'll stand guard."

April smiled, amused, and said, "You're on." Pillow under her arm, she threw out one of the stadium blankets, spreading it on the pine-carpeted ground. She kicked off her tennies and lay down.

Casey sat beside her, vigilant. "Hey, I'm your hero, right?" he grinned.

"Yeah, Casey, you are," murmured April sleepily.

Sean had been uncharacteristically subdued since the party had fled Montana. He was looking more and more like a lost child, and less like the street-wise con artist he had been at the start of the journey.

He approached the spot where Splinter, Don, Mike and Leo were sitting in the shade quietly talking. "Yo…" he said.

"Hey, kid," answered Mike.

"Can I ask you guys something?"

"Fire away."

"Um… about Jake…You said that monster thing killed him?"

Leo looked from one to the other. "We don't really know that."

"Well, what happened?"

Leonardo cleared his throat. "Ashmedai was inside of him. I was going after Skylord and this thing- it was Jake, but it wasn't - got between us and attacked. I fought it and I won."

"You killed him, then?" asked Sean. "Like he thought was gonna happen all along?"

"It wasn't a killing stroke. It was superficial. I wanted to stop it, but I wasn't going for a kill." Leo looked down, frowning. "I think what happened was that Ashmedai decided to abandon Jake's body as soon as he got hurt. I think he may have decided that body wouldn't hold up against me."

"That other body didn't hold up so well against you, either," Mike pointed out.

Leonardo barely acknowledged the compliment. "But the point is, I don't know if after Ashmedai left him, if Lucas, Jake, whatever, revived." He shook his head. "I don't know."

"What he's saying, Sean," said Donatello. "Is that he didn't intend to kill Jake. He had to stop Ashmedai."

Sean shrugged. "I get that. S'cool. I was just wondering." He rubbed his nose.

"I am sorry for the loss of your friend," said Splinter. "If indeed he is lost."

"Yeah. Kinda weird, not knowing."

"Would you like to join us?" asked Splinter.

Sean considered the group for a moment, and then cocked his head. He looked at Mike. "I got another question."

"Yeah?" said Mike.

Sean pointed to the two sets of nunchakus stuffed into Mike's wide leather belt. "You ever use those?"

Mike glanced about furtively, then leaned toward him, his face very serious and whispered. "Actually, I've lost a little weight and I'm usin' 'em to keep my belt up."

Sean gave him a sardonic look and crossed his arms. "Right…"

"Eh, well, letssee." Mike stood up slowly and stretched. "I dunno. I'm a little rusty."

Don poked Leo in the ribs.

With a deliberate, studied slowness, and no small amount of drama, Michaelangelo lifted his mask from where it was hanging around his neck, and tied it behind his head. He pulled the 'chucks from his belt and held them for a moment, a set in each hand, as if testing the weight.

Mike stepped back and began spinning them, slowly, easily, forwards, then backwards, then with increasing speed, forming figure 8's, and crossing them in front of him. They flew faster. He whipped them around his body, then around his neck, then changing hands in mid –flight. The weapons spun with blinding speed, a blur of wood and steel, over his head, pin-wheeling freely, then between his legs, and again around behind him, as though they had a life of their own. He tossed both sets into the air where they spun overhead, climbing like unleashed helicopter blades, and then dropped with an obedient _clack_ into his hands.

Sean's eyes widened. "Whoa…" he gaped. He was obviously having some trouble appearing unimpressed. "That was –ah—I've never seen anything like that!"

Mike grinned. "Not too shabby, heh?"

Don stood up and drew his bo from his belt behind him. "Ok," he said with a coolly challenging expression, eyelids lowered. "Stand back…"

On a nearby blanket Lia watched the show unfold. She had been coloring with Rose in the new coloring book she had bought at the market and Rose had begun to show signs of fatigue. She was rubbing her eyes, pulling her wavy hair, and generally paying less and less attention to the crayons. Lia grinned as Donatello began spinning his weapon, going through a series of movements with the grace of a modern dance artist.

From out of the trees Raphael approached, an eager swagger in his step, as he headed toward the others.

"I think Sean's going to get his lessons after all," Lia said softly to Rose.

"Mh hm…" mumbled Rose resting her cheek on her little hands. Lia looked down at her daughter and back up at the group. She waved Michaelangelo over to her and he joined her.

"You see that?" he asked.

"Yeah. Wow. Y'know, I had never seen you do that before. I'd only seen you use them in fighting. That was pretty incredible."

Mike beamed. "You oughta come on over there and watch."

"Um, well, Rose is almost asleep, and I was thinking I'd like to take a little walk. You know, stretch my legs a little."

"Oh. Yeah."

Lia gazed at her daughter for a bit until her eyes closed and her breathing became regular. "I was wondering, do you think you could kinda keep an eye on her for me?"

"Yeah, sure. No prob."

"Thanks, Mike" Lia bent and kissed the sleeping child's hair, then stood and kissed Mike on the cheek. His grin widened. She carefully lifted Rose up in the blanket and followed Mike back over to the others. She set the bundle down in the grass, arranging the blanket so it formed a little nest around her daughter. "Thank you," she murmured again and headed off in the direction of the trailer. Mike watched her go, wondering what was really going on, certain it was more than what Lia had said. He shrugged to himself and turned to watch Don's kata.

Lia emerged from the trailer with two towels. She narrowed her eyes, considering the scene before her. Everyone's attention was fixed on Raphael now, and his sai flashing silver in the dappled sunlight. Leonardo sat back a little, close to Splinter.

With everyone preoccupied, Lia slipped up behind him, dropping to one knee. He started to turn even before she had touched his shoulder. "You want to go for a swim?" she whispered into his ear.

Only Splinter seemed to notice Leonardo silently rise to his feet and follow Lia off into the woods.

She led him through a narrow deer trail quickly, almost skipping along. "I know a great swimming hole up here a little ways," she tossed back to him. The forest was dense, a tangle of vines and trees and brush, warm and humid and sweet smelling. They could hear the rush of the river long before they could see it.

Down a natural stairway of broken granite, the path through the woods took them right to the edge of the river. Here the water, which roared down from the mountains, tumbling over ancient rounded granite boulders, opened up and slowed. The river was wide and nearly still here, reflecting back the steep, river canyon walls. On the south side where they had come out was a small sandy beach, the water shallow. On the north side the rocky walls fell steeply into deep waters, emerald green and azure blue.

Leonardo paused to take in the beauty. "Wow…" he murmured.

Lia glanced back at him impishly. "Nice, huh? Well, come on." She ran lightly toward the water pulling off her tank top and dropping her cutoffs on the way. She dove naked into the river; a flash of eggshell-pale skin, and brilliant red hair flowing behind her. Leonardo stood on the beach with his jaw slightly ajar

When he caught his breath, Leo tore off his belt and pads and dove into the cool water after her.

Lia swam to the deep pool on the north side of the river, stroking slowly, languidly. She paused, treading water, and looked back for Leonardo, but couldn't see him. She waited, feeling the water moving around her in cooler and warmer streams, feeling the flow of the river, moving through and all around her. The granite walls towered overhead. The river always made her think of an organism's circulatory system, always flowing, cleansing, giving life. This was Mother Earth's life blood, and floating here, she felt washed clean, like a sacrament, and connected to it all.

When after a long while she still didn't see him she began to wonder if he wasn't under water somewhere, nearby, watching her. She smiled at the thought.

"Leo?" she called.

She waited a while longer, floating on her back, watching the incredible color of the sky, like a slice of blue between the walls of the canyon. There was no doubt in her mind why she was there. The stillness of the ancient rocks, the soaring trees, the gentle tug of the river's current, all spoke to her. She slowly swam back to the beach, wrapped herself up in one towel and spread the other on the warm sand. She sat down, knees up under her chin, her body hidden under the towel. Leonardo emerged from the water a moment later.

She sat waiting for him, wrapped in her towel like a present. He approached, dripping water, his body gleaming green in the sunlight. He sank onto his knees before her, his eyes filled with question, a tiny half-smile on his mouth.

Lia steadied her breath. "Leo, I…I want to give you….um…" She swallowed, found herself lost once more in the crystal blue depth of his eyes. She didn't have words. Instead she slowly let the towel slip from her shoulders.

She heard his breath catch. His eyes moved from her face to her body, to her perfect, pink, teacup breasts, and back. "Lia…" he said, his voice husky.

Lia looked up at the sky, suddenly, unexpectedly finding herself almost too emotional to speak. She blinked several times, her heart racing. "I want to give you...myself…"

He swallowed hard. "Lia, I want you... I don't want a sacrifice…"

"Sacri-? No. No. Not that at all…Oh, god, Leo…no-"

He closed his eyes, struggling to find the right words. "What I mean- and this is so hard to say to you- what I mean is, I don't want to just take your body. I don't want it to be just you giving that – like a reward. I don't want _just _that."

Lia bit her lip and looked down at the sand. "Leo," she looked up at his face. "You already have all the rest of me. This is the last part."

He gazed back into her face for a long moment. Then he slowly reached out and gently pulled the towel the rest of the way off of her.

She reached for him and he took her up in his arms, kissing her. In one dizzy, slowly falling, heaven-spinning movement they were on the ground together. He raised his head, gazing down at her, his eyes taking in all of her, his breath coming harder. He gently ran his hand over her belly and up her body, caressing, discovering.

"You're so soft," he said, his voice barely audible. "Lia, I – I don't want to hurt you."

She caught her breath with some effort. "It'll be ok," she whispered. "If anything hurts, I'll tell you. And you'll stop, right?"

He nodded, words slipping away from him. She reached for him again, her hands upon him, accepting him, drawing him to her.

Leonardo surrendered, past all doubt, past all reservation. Released from what held him in check, his hands sought her, arms pulling her closer, his mouth exploring, his body moving on its own.

"Leo…oh, god…"

And Shakti came before Shiva

And danced her dance,

Goddess of Life and Movement and Change

And Lord Shiva, God of Consciousness

Rose up to meet Her,

Desire Awakened.

They came together;

Shakti of Desire, Unfolding

The petals of the Lotus

Drew Him In.

And Shiva in Passion

Became the Lord of the Dance,

He who would penetrate the Mystery.

And Soft meets Hard,

Cold seeks Heat

And Sweet meets Salt,

And Night the Day.

_And the Light dances amid the Dark,_

_A thousand spiraling stars_

As has been since Time began,

When the First Light separated

From the First Dark

And Yang from Yin.

Drew apart and separate

So they might reunite

And Return to One Another

In Bliss

In Ecstasy.

So the Fire of their Joining

Becomes the Fire of Creation

As it was since before the

Dawn of Time.

He rolled away from her, onto his back, panting, powerful arms drawing her tightly to him. He lay quietly, catching his breath as she curled against his body.

"Lia," he said at last. "In all my life, I have never known anything... so sweet…"

She sighed deeply, holding him tighter, resting her face into his shoulder. He stroked her hair, gazing up into the endless blue of the sky.

"Lia?"

"Mh hm?"

"Can we do it again?"

Lia giggled, her fingers tightening around the edge of his plastron. She snuggled her face into his neck. "Yes…"


	23. Chapter 23

_**The Journey Home**_

**Chapter Twenty Three**

* * *

Darkness. In the blessed, deep, sheltering night they lay hidden even from the face of the moon, who would not venture out until the early hours of the morning.

Their day had been spent in an exquisite suffering which makes every moment apart painful and every interaction with every else a labor until they could come together again and find themselves, and lose themselves in each others' arms. Deep in the woods they had met again, and fell together with that ravenous hunger that lovers know when they finally find each other.

Drifting somewhere between asleep and awake Leonardo finally rolled over onto his stomach on the blanket and looked out into the darkness. He asked the question that Lia had been afraid to ask.

"Lia, what are we going to do?"

Lying on her back, she turned her face to him. "I don't know," she whispered.

"I know there's an answer," he said softly. "There has to be. I just don't know what it is."

She took a moment, searching his eyes. "You could stay with me."

He looked down and touched her face, brushing a strand of hair back. "You could come back with me," he said.

"But, after everyone has risked their lives, gone through everything they've gone through driving me all the way cross country, I'm going to turn around and ask them to drive me back?"

"I don't think anyone would mind."

"Besides, I don't think I can live in New York. The cops are probably still looking for me."

"We aren't going back to New York. Splinter's decided we're going to the farm. We probably won't ever go back there again. There's no reason to."

Lia rolled toward him onto her side. "There's Belladonna. I can't leave her here alone…"

"I know. I just…"

"Stay with me, Leo. Please."

He drew in a deep breath, exhaling slowly, looking again into the dark woods around them. "I think we have to tell the others. We can't make this decision by ourselves. Other lives are involved and we both have obligations."

Lia nodded, trying to read his expression.

"Splinter already knows," he said.

"I know."

"Did he say something to you?" Leo looked startled.

"No. But I could tell."

"Mike knows."

"Mike knows? You told him?"

Leo shook his head. "No. He just knew. He may have known before me." He smiled a little.

"Is that all?" asked Lia, wondering if for all their secrecy, everyone already knew.

"I think so. I hope so."

Lia ran her fingers over his arm. "You think it will be ok?"

"Has to be."

"I mean, you didn't want to tell anyone before…"

He closed his eyes. "Lia…um…" Leonardo rolled onto his carapace, bringing her to his side. "I have to tell you something. I haven't been completely honest."

"No, Leo, you're the most honest-"

"No, listen. When I said I didn't want to tell anyone about us because I was afraid for your safety, I meant that. But there was another reason, too." He cleared his throat. "I...this is stupid. I didn't want to lose face. It was pride. I…ah…"

"Leo…"

"I couldn't let Raphael prove me wrong. I didn't want to lose the…argument to him."

"This was the one you told me about?"

"Yes."

"About girls?"

He paused. "Yes…."

"Raph said something about it to me, too."

Leonardo half-smiled. "Did he say I was a control freak?"

"No." Lia giggled.

"Well, if he had, it would have been the truth. Damn. I hate it when he tells the truth." Leonardo's tone was ironic. He watched the starry sky glimmering between the black tree branches overhead. "I almost killed him once for telling the truth," he said quietly.

"Really?"

"Yeah…"

"What did tell you?"

Leo swallowed. "He told me I was a coward."

Lia turned her face to him, moving her cheek against his shoulder.

"I came as close as I have ever come to killing him," said Leonardo. "Because he was right."

Lia wanted to argue with him that he couldn't possibly have ever been a coward. Instead she asked, "What stopped you?"

"I was holding a wooden bokken at the time, instead of my katana."

Lia waited a moment, wondering if he would say more. When he didn't, she cleared her throat. "I have to tell you something, too."

"Hm? What's that?"

"It's about Raphael, too." Lia wondered why she was feeling anxious about telling him. Leo was so honest, so truthful, so willing to tell her everything, how could she do any less? "He... um...he kinda ...he let me know he was interested in me a while back. Well, he hit on me. That's what it was. And at first, I was so, I dunno, confused, worried…"

"Afraid of him?"

She exhaled. Of course, Leo could figure that out. "Yes. Afraid of him. And because of that, I guess I wasn't very direct in telling him no. But then I did. I did finally get it straight with him. But it was hard. I should have told you before, I know. I'm sorry."

"It's OK. I knew it anyway."

"You did?"

"Well, I knew he had been bragging about it. Weeks ago. He was saying he was going to... ah…well. It wasn't very nice. I didn't really take it seriously 'cause I figured he was just bragging. And he was seeing Sunni anyway. It was before, you know, before she was killed." Leo rubbed his eyes with his free hand. "Pissed me off, though, even if I didn't believe him. Sometimes I hate hearing the stuff he says."

"He was bragging?"

"Yeah. You know, Raph gets full of himself sometimes and starts thinking he's some kinda stud."

_And that I was going to be an easy score_, thought Lia unhappily.

"What?" asked Leonardo.

"What _what_?"

"You. You just pulled away."

Lia drew in a deep shaky breath. She didn't want to talk about how it made her feel. That still felt too raw.

"What's wrong?" Leo persisted.

"Nothing."

"Right." He gently moved his hand over her side, caressing, encouraging her. "Come on. What's the matter?"

_He's doing it again_, thought Lia. _Sweet Goddess, he can be a bulldog_. _As if there was anything I could refuse him anyway_.

"Lia?"

She chewed her lip and when she finally spoke, her voice was small. "Sometimes, Leo, it seems like everyone looks at me and can see right through me, and it shows. All the stuff I've done. And they can tell what kind of a person I am. Like they know—they know they can get what they want from me. And when Raph did that, it made me feel awful. Not 'cause he really did anything, but because he thought I was the kind of person, the kind of _girl_, that he could just get whatever…." She stopped. She didn't want to finish the thought. Especially not lying there in the forest, naked, in Leo's arms.

Leonardo pulled himself up onto his elbow, turning to her. "I never thought that. You know that, don't you? I _never_ thought that. I never even dreamed you'd want anything to do with me. You were like this...I mean back in the Lair, you were like this, beautiful, untouchable, unattainable …I don't know…You were driving me crazy, but I never thought of you like that. I doubt Raph did either. Come on Lia, you know he doesn't think about things. He just acts on impulse. You've seen that."

Lia bit her lip, looked into his face, looking for the truth in his eyes.

"Lia, all that stuff you're talking about, it's in your head. I mean, I'm sure it's because of the things-" Leonardo closed his eyes for an instant, trying to phrase what he wanted to say in a way that didn't make him feel sick. "Those things you were forced to do. What Skylord made you do. But that has nothing to do with you, or with who you are. And that has _nothing _to do with you and I. _Nothing_."

"Ok. I know that, about us," she whispered. "And I know you're right about it really being a thing from the past, that it's just old feelings. Sometimes I can see it so clearly. And I know I'm reacting to ghosts. I know it's what Alex did on purpose, to make me feel bad so he could control me. But then sometimes it feels so…huge. Like it _is _me, like there's something so wrong with me."

"No…." Leonardo brushed his face against hers, nuzzling his nose into her hair. "It's just ghosts."

"But I did realize something today."

"What's that?"

"Look." She held up her hands for him to see.

"What? Oh, no rings. You took them all off?"

"I think I was only wearing all those because I couldn't get Alex's off. It was sort of like trying to cancel out its power, by wearing a lot of others."

"So you took them off because his ring is gone, hm?"

"No. I thought that was it, but its more than that. I was thinking about how I kept trying in all kinds of ways to cancel out his power. And how all the work I did with Belladonna, all the stuff she taught me, and then having Rose alone in the cabin, I felt so strong. I felt so – impervious. Like he couldn't touch me. Then I started writing that book, and I was just flying inside. It felt so powerful. And then Rose disappeared, and he had me again. Instantly. I was right back where I had been. And that makes me so mad—that he could still do that." Lia ran her hand through her hair. "So, ok, he's gone now. And I know Raphael actually did that. And the ring fell off my hand. So I'm free. But that isn't what did it. I mean, no matter what has happened with the rings, and what kind of work I did with Belladonna, Alex is gone now because of you." She looked up "You cancelled him out, Leo. You've done it. Everywhere he… touched me, you've been there and cancelled him out."

Leonardo brushed her hair with one hand. "I don't know what could make me happier than knowing that."

Lia sighed and then looked up at him from under her lashes. "Was I really driving you crazy?"

He blinked, momentarily lost, and then remembered what she was referring to. "Stir crazy…" he grinned.

Lia returned his smile. "And all that time I thought I was being so stupid to even think you might be interested. I was looking at you thinking, oh, what would he want with a loser like me?"

Leonardo inhaled sharply. "Oh, man…" he murmured under his breath. "Lia, I am so sorry. I am so sorry I ever made you feel like that."

"It's ok."

"No. It was wrong. I was dishonest and selfish."

"Leo, don't beat yourself up like that. It's ok. It's all ok now…"

"Please forgive me. For ever making you think I didn't care. Because I knew _you _did. I knew it. And I was trying to pretend I didn't."

She started to protest again, and he stopped her.

"Just say you forgive me."

She touched his face. "I forgive you, Leo. For anything, everything. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what you do or have ever done. Leo, I love you. I love you so much…." Her voice faltered.

He swallowed, his body almost jerking as if he had been physically struck. He bent down and kissed her, hard and fierce and long.

"I'll make this work," said Leo, his voice low with emotion. " I don't know what Splinter will say, but I know he is with us. He understands."

Lia nodded. "I hope so." But she felt an anxious shudder run through her. It was another kind of anxiety, mixed with a deep, sadness that she didn't want to acknowledge, but recognized as something familiar. She knew when she had felt it before; years ago, the helpless terror she had felt when she knew her father was leaving them. She could feel again the huge yawning emptiness and vulnerability she had felt when she and her mother were left behind.

She tightened her fingers around his.

"Leo," she whispered. "Don't leave me."

He looked at her quickly. "I'm not leaving you. I'm not going anywhere."

She reached up and wrapped her arms around him, clinging to his neck. He could feel her tremble.

"Hey, I'm right here," he said softly.

"Ok…" she clung to him for a long moment.

_He __**is**__ right here, Lia._ _After all we've gone through, after everything, after almost losing him, and getting him back, how could it not be ok now? Get a grip!_

She pulled back, smiling shyly into his face. "I think I got weird again."

"That's ok. I'm keeping up, aren't I?"

She pouted teasingly. "Thanks." Her smile curled up into a pixie face, her fears suddenly wisping way like bits of gossamer before the piercing clear blue in his eyes.

"You ok?" asked Leo.

"Yeah. I'm ok. You know what? I'm not gonna worry about yesterday or tomorrow anymore."

"Yeah?" he smiled. "Good idea."

"I mean, we _could _do that. We both seem to do it a lot. We could spend the whole night in the past or the future and miss the 'now' altogether."

He grinned wider. "Now you sound like Splinter."

She sat up, playfully shoving him back. "Yeah, that's me. A fountain of wisdom. But I mean it. It's stupid. I'm not doing that anymore."

"Ok. And what exactly are you going to do instead?"

"Kiss you until you turn purple," she smiled with mock sweetness. He let her push him down onto his back. "Lie still," she whispered and slipped on top of him, swinging her leg over so she sat on his chest.

"Purple," he said. "Interesting."

She started with his cheek, planting tiny, light, fairy kisses over the pebbly texture of his skin. She kissed his jaw, moving to his neck, letting only her warm breath graze the sensitive, thin covering over his ear. He grinned, though it may have been more a grimace, and found it was becoming difficult to hold still.

She kissed his throat, down to the midpoint where his plastron began and then moved to his shoulder, kissing lightly, over and over. Her mouth moved down the inside of his arm, pausing to give a few extra soft kisses inside the crook of his elbow. His hands convulsed into fists.

"Ah, Lia…?"

"Sh."

She kissed the length of his arm, over his wrist, then opened his hand to kiss his palm and fingertips, lingering over each. Halfway back up his arm, she scooted down and turned her attention to his plastron. Her kisses began tracing, with agonizing slowness, the cuticle where the plates joined over his belly. Her fingers slid around the thick edges, finding tender skin. A soft groaning escaped him. It took everything he had not to squirm. He finally moved his hand to her head and gently stroked her hair.

"Lia?" he said a little breathlessly. "I think I'm purple now."

"Mh," she answered, and continued to cover him with soft, tortuously light kisses.

With one hand behind her head, he moved the other against the small of her back and neatly flipped her over.

"Akkk!" she squealed, laughing, and trying to push him back. "No fair!"

"Oh, no. This is fair." He held her arms down and kissed her throat, into her hair, her mouth and then down her body, following the same path her kisses had led.

"Aaaah," she squeaked. "That tickles!"

" Well, I seem to have found a couple of pressure points," he grinned. "Surrender?"

"Never!"

He kept moving.

"AHKK! Oh, ah help! Ack!-" She was laughing too hard to squeal and squealing too hard to talk.

"Surrender?"

"Ok. Ok! I surrender," she gasped.

"Good," he growled, and brought his full weight onto her, kissing her, holding her, and burying her down beneath his body again.

And for the rest of the night, no one, and nothing, existed in the universe for them except each other.

* * *

With the first grayish glow of the coming dawn through the trees to the east, they rose and made their way back toward camp. They decided that when they got close, they would separate and come in from two different directions. At least maintain the illusion that nothing was going on until they had a chance to talk to Splinter and everyone else.

Walking in the pre-dawn gloom, cool air and the sting of pine in her nose, Lia felt the anxiety return. She pulled the sweater around her shoulders tighter against the chill. Leonardo took her hand.

"It'll be ok," he said softly.

* * *

Raphael hadn't slept well. He had tried to get into his sleeping bag earlier than was usual for him, and had tossed and turned for a miserably long time, trying not to think or feel. It seemed that over time it was getting harder to stuff everything down, out of his awareness, instead of easier. He had given up at last and risen, following the sound of the river to its banks. He had sat for hours, watching the black water rushing over the rocks, catching the glittering fire of the stars. It was soothing, it sang to him, reassured him, and it managed to pull him a short distance from the terrible pain he had felt while trying to pretend to sleep.

It had stung. Lia telling him 'thanks, but no thanks' had hurt, but he knew it went deeper than that and he had tried for hours _not _to find out how deep it actually went. And every time he had tried to push it away, it had resurfaced, like a stupid, stubborn beach ball in the water, popping back up somewhere else, refusing to sink.

His mind wandered, on it's own, with Raphael helpless to control it, back to the conversation he'd had with Mike. Something he had said then had felt like it touched the center, like the pulse, a sharp throbbing, a key to why he couldn't shake this.

_She was the only one, the one person in the whole world…._

He choked and fought down the strangling sob in his throat.

_Who gives a shit about humans anyway!?_

As if they give a damn about you! As if they ever did!

You don't need anyone. No one has ever understood you.

Ok, Mike tries. He's a good bud. He's the best. But he doesn't get it. And it's gonna start eating him soon, too. I can see it- these stupid crushes he gets, the stuff he makes up in his head to keep himself going. He's living in a dream world and it's all gonna hit the fan one day and I don't wanna see it when it does. Gah…Mike, wake up.

And Don's lost in his head, too, just in a different way. Get a frickin' headache trying to understand him. I'm sure he feels the same about me.

Casey and me, we rock. But I can see where he's going already. Lookin' at April like some lovesick moon-dog…Not that lookin' at April is a bad thing. If it wasn't for Casey I could- -

ARGH! Shuttup! Shuttup, Raph! Before you go crazy with that.

He dropped his face into his arms. _An' then there's Leo. Fuckin' Leo, man. I'd have died for him- right there, that night in the mountain. I'd have gladly died for him and killed that son of a bitch Skypuke five more times. But Leo…you just don't get it…you just don't….I don't need for you to understand me, Leo. It'd just be nice if once in a while...ah. crap. You're not Splinter. I don't need__** you **__to tell me I'm OK. _

_And Splinter...I gave up so long ago trying to get anything from Splinter that Leo didn't already have._

_Splinter...for so long I wanted to see him look at me the way he looks at Leo. I wanted to be that student that made him proud. I wanted that so bad. But Leo always had that. It was always Leo. _

_ I don't care. I don't care anymore. I don't need anyone, or anything 'cause I never had nothin' to begin with—_

Except I did. Once. I had something once…

But you screwed it up, didn't ya? You screwed it up so bad she's dead now and that was it. That's all you're gonna get. That was your one shot. No more for you...

Shuttup! Stop It!

Raphael raised his head, staring at the rushing water. _Just watch the water, Raph. Don't think. That's your downfall, right? And it's what you do best, right? Damn straight. It's what's kept me alive this long. __**Don't think.**_

He stared numbly for a long time before he started crying again. And this time when he was done he was exhausted enough to sleep a little.

He saw the first graying light illumine the sky upstream, far up the river canyon, and his stomach growled. Even if it meant he would have to interact with other people, he was he was ready to go back and eat something. Maybe it would even make him feel better. The night by the river had driven most of the demons back a bit anyway, the emptiness had been momentarily filled with the peaceful beauty of the living water.

He stood and stretched and then headed back up the steep climb through the trees, bare feet picking their way over broken rock and vines. When the steep slope leveled out he headed east through the trees, the shadowed forest still nearly black. Birds were beginning to sound their morning songs and Raphael automatically matched his footfalls to their voices, making his passage silent through the morning gloom.

Another sound caught his attention. Someone else walking nearby, speaking in low, hushed voices. He dropped low and sniffed the air, and knew instantly who it was. Raphael slipped silently through the trees to a small open place where he could see Leonardo standing with Lia in the darkness. Behind a thick oak, Raphael stood still, staring.

Leonardo held her hands in his; her eyes were downcast. He moved forward, took her into his arms and kissed her. She pressed herself against him, his hand moving over her body with an easy familiarity.

They drew apart and Leonardo gently brushed the hair from her face. "Ok," he said quietly. "I'll see you back there. It's going to be ok."

She nodded and said something so low Raphael didn't hear. But at that point he was too stunned to have understood what it was anyway. He was too stunned to move.

As soon as they parted, heading in opposite directions, Raphael found his legs. He crashed through the underbrush toward Lia, who spun around with a yelp at the noise.

"What the hell was _that?"_ Raphael cried. "Hey Lia, what the_ hell?!"_

"Raph!" Lia gasped, nearly falling against a tree.

Leonardo was at her side in less than an instant and Raphael turned his fury on him.

"What the _hell,_ Leo? What the hell do you think you're doing? Oh, no—I _know_ what you're doing. You dirty, lying, sneaking-!" Raphael stammered for a moment losing track of his epithets. "You slime! You two-faced, low-life, piece of -"

"Raph, wait, hold on," said Leo. "Just listen a minute-"

"What? No! _You_ listen a goddamn minute! You lying hypocrite! You act all superior- treat me like some kinda freak for doin' exactly what _you're_ doin?"

"Raph-"

"No! You shut the hell up! I asked you! I asked you point blank about _her! _That night at the train yard, I_ asked _you! And you lied! _You lied,_ Leo!"

"Raph, you have to let me -"

"The hell I do! Leo, you know what? You are totally without honor. _You lied_ to me! All this time acting above it all—acting like you were better than me—me—the slobbering animal- the one with no control. Tellin' me I'm wrong! I need more self control and all the while you were you—Gah! You hypocrite! You lyin' hypocrite!

And _you_-!" He waved an arm at Lia. "I can't believe – No! I believe do this. I see it now! No wonder you couldn't make up your mind what was up with you an' me, huh? You had us _both _goin' huh? You get off on that, huh?"

"Raph-no! You don't understand!" Lia was in tears.

"Oh yeah I do, Lia. Ya know what? That was supposed to be _me!_ An' you _know _it!" He was in full rage now, eyes blazing, foam flecking his mouth.

Leonardo, fighting to hold himself back, knowing there was almost nothing he could say, clenched his fists at his sides. "_Don't _Raph! _Don't _come at her! It's not Lia's fault- none of this! This is mine."

"Oh, that's very fuckin' noble of you, Leo." Raphael turned away for a moment, eyes skyward, his chest heaving. "Like I can believe anything you say! You goddamn _hypocrite_, Leo."

"Raphael! Leonardo!" Splinter's sounded sharply from the shadows. "Enough of this!" The rat emerged from the forest darkness, dressed in his humble, tattered robe, walking stick in hand, a quiet authority in his stance. "You will stop this now."

Lia was sobbing, her face in her hands. Leonardo put a protective arm around her, pulling her close to him.

"Master," Leo began. "We were coming in to talk to you. We need to-"

"Oh, no, oh, no," interrupted Raph, a break in his voice. "So help me Splinter, if you take his side in this…"

"Raphael," said Splinter. "There is no side to take. The truth is before you." He gestured with his stick to Leo and Lia.

Raphael's eyes widened, and his mouth fell open. He clamped it shut, shaking. "God _DAMN _you, Splinter!" he cried.

Leonardo took a step forward, a snarl on his mouth, a fist raised, but Splinter's upheld hand halted him.

_"The hell with this family!"_ Raphael shouted, spinning around, looking from one to the other accusingly. With nowhere to turn, he ran back into the woods. _"The hell with all of you!"_

Splinter gazed back and forth between the place where Raphael had charged off and to Leonardo, his eyes smoldering.

Lia felt her knees begin to buckle. She let Leonardo hold her up.

"Splinter, we were coming to find you." Leo said. "We were going to talk to everyone..."

"Leonardo," said Splinter, with a rare but unmistakable edge of anger in his voice. "It appears to be a bit late for talk. Come with me now."

The three began making their way back to the campsite in silence, Splinter walking slightly ahead of them. Leonardo's head was down, his breath hard. After a short way he slowly raised his head and took Lia's hand in his again. He gently closed his fingers tighter around hers and she answered with a small reassuring squeeze.

_It's going to be ok..._


	24. Chapter 24

_The Journey Home_

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

* * *

The clamor of voices greeted them as they reached the campsite clearing. Everyone was up, and from the sound of things, there had been a rude awakening.

April stood holding Rose, and Casey was talking loudly in a huddle with Mike and Don. Only Sean sat on his bedroll still, sleepily rubbing his eyes and looking confused.

Splinter turned back to face Lia and Leonardo. His expression, while still stern, had lost some of the anger.

"Lia," he said. "If you will excuse us please."

A cold feeling washed over her, like the breeze from a door closing in her face.

"But Master Splinter," said Leonardo. "We were hoping to speak with everyone together."

"Leonardo!" Splinter's tone was sharp. "I will speak first with you and your brothers."

Leonardo lowered his head.

By now Mike and Don had seen the three emerge from the woods. Splinter raised his staff a bit, signaling to them, and both hurried in his direction.

_Well, Leo might not be able to get anywhere with him, but maybe I can,_ thought Lia.

"Splinter," she said. "If it would be alright, I'd like to talk with you also."

"Lia, I will speak with you afterwards. Right now you need to attend to your child."

It felt like a slap. Lia felt her cheeks reddening with shame and her eyes sting with new tears. She nodded and released Leo's hand. He let it slip from his, standing motionless. Lia fled to join April while Splinter and his students headed into the woods.

"What _happened?"_ asked April as Lia took Rose from her arms. "Raphael came crashing through here about a half an hour ago, yelling and cursing and then he took off."

Lia hugged Rose to her and kissed her fat little cheek. Rose clung to her mother, snuggling sleepily into her arms.

It was a struggle to make her voice work without breaking. "Leo and I spent the night together in the woods."

April's eyes widened. "Ohhhh…ok…."

Lia blinked back the tears determinedly. "It's been going on for a while, I mean, not that, but just, you know, we were, I don't know…we were trying to be cool about it, but we realized we had to talk to everyone. And we were coming back to do that when Raph found us and just went berserk and-" Lia took a shuddering breath. "And now it's all a mess."

"Ok, I see. Here, come here." April put an arm around Lia's shoulder and led her back to the fold-out picnic table. "You know I _thought_ there was something going on between you two. Here, sit down."

Lia sat on the bench and settled Rose into her lap.

"So—what?" asked April. "You're saying Raph was jealous?"

"I guess. I told had him 'no.' I know I messed up, but I told him I wasn't interested, and then he saw Leo and I, I guess, and oh god, I don't know." Lia looked up into April's sympathetic face. "What's the _matter_ with him, anyway? Stupid psycho turtle…."

April almost laughed. "Well, you're not the first who's thought that." She rested her hand on Lia's shoulder. "It'll be ok. He'll get over it. Leo will get things straight with Splinter." April gazed off in the direction that the sensei and his three students had gone. "But you're practically home now," she said thoughtfully. "What were you planning to do? I mean, did you have any plans?"

Rose lifted her tousled head. "We go'n home?"

Lia nodded "Yes, we're going home, baby."

"Go see 'Nonna?"

"Mm hm. We're going back to see 'Nonna."

"Play wif Mookie?"

"Yes, you can play with Mookie." Lia looked up at April. "Belladonna has three dogs. Mookie is Rose's favorite," she explained. She bit her lip. "No, we didn't have a plan. That's what we wanted to talk to everyone about."

"It'll be ok," said April encouragingly. "We'll get it all worked out."

* * *

"He said he was leaving and never coming back," said Mike.

"That's what he told me, too." Donatello glanced over at Leonardo, who sat very still, his eyes on the ground, the small muscle in his jaw working.

"Yeah, but you know Raph," Mike went on. "He was just upset. He'll come back. He always does."

Splinter laced his long, slender fingers under his chin.

Sitting cross-legged in a small circle in the trees the four were surrounded by the sounds of the awakening woodlands.

"Splinter, I know this is entirely my fault," said Leonardo. "I know I handled this all wrong. I should have been honest with Raph. With all of you. I- I'm sorry."

"I have no doubt you understand your error, Leonardo," said Splinter. "The question is now, what course of action shall we take?"

"What do you mean, Splinter?" asked Mike. "We know Raph'll be back. We should just hang out and wait, right?"

Splinter thoughtfully stroked his chin whiskers. At last he spoke. "For the present, yes, Michaelangelo, we shall wait and see if he returns. But I do not share your optimism. I fear that Raphael has been more deeply affected by the loss of the young woman he was seeing than even he realizes. Yes, he feels hurt and betrayed by you, Leonardo, but there is a larger issue."

Leonardo squeezed his eyes shut. _Stupid, stupid, stupid, Leonardo._

"I will tell you all now what I wish," said Splinter slowly. "My only desire for the four of you is that you remain together as a family and as a team. Events such as these can rip into the heart of a family. I do not wish to see you four torn apart because of this. There may come a time, when you are older, that far-flung paths may beckon. But not today. For today, we remain _family._

"There are but four of you living amid the vast human world. Though we may have human friends, even our friends will never understand what it means to be as unique, and as alone, as you four are.

"Without one another, without each of you working together as a team, you are lost. It is from one another that you draw your strength, as individual parts, vital to the whole. You need one another to survive in this world.

"I cannot express this to you enough_. Never_ forget who you are."

Leonardo heard a death knell ringing in Splinter's words. He had never felt so far from his Master, never felt so at odds. He dared not raise his head, dared not look Splinter in the face, because he knew if he did, Splinter would see the challenge there, see the anger he was feeling, and Leonardo would not allow himself to challenge his sensei.

Splinter drew in a deep breath. "We will remain here one day. I hope that Raphael will forget his anger and return. If not, we must begin to look for him.

"Tomorrow morning, Leonardo, you will escort Lia and Rose to their home. They are nearly at their journey's end, and I am sure anxious to be back. When they are safely home, you will return and join us in our search for your brother."

Leonardo stared at the ground for a moment, steadying his breathing. He lifted his head. "Master Splinter, I was hoping that I could, that somehow, that we could-"

"Leonardo," Splinter cut him off. "This is my final decision."

Leonardo dropped his eyes to the ground, his head dipping to an acquiescing bow, as he brutally shut down everything he was feeling.

Michaelangelo laid a hand on his shoulder. Leo sat frozen. He didn't move, didn't respond. The dam was too close to bursting.

* * *

By midmorning Mike and Donatello sought out Casey. He was under the hood of the Chevy once again.

"He said he was going back home," said Casey wiping his hands on a rag. He shut the hood of the old car with a solid clunk. "He came over and shook me awake an' said 'screw this, I'm going' home'."

Mike scratched his head. "I wonder if that was before or after he was yelling about leaving forever."

"Before," said Donatello. "Because he started to grab his bedroll, and Sean was lying on it, and he started saying that nothing was his, or that he had nothing, and no one cared and the hell with everyone."

"Damn," said Casey. He reached for his soda. "So I guess we're waiting to see what happens?"

"Yeah, that's what Splinter wants to do at least for now."

"Where is he anyway?" Casey looked around the campsite.

Donatello fidgeted with the tape on his bo. "Off in the woods somewhere with Leo."

"Oooh, boy!" Casey shook his head. "Mr. Perfection is in deep doo-doo, heh?"

"It's not fair," said Mike. "Splinter told him it was ok."

"What was ok?"

"To pursue the… ah...er… To follow the water somewhere…oh, whatever it was. To follow his heart."

"Splinter knew about this before?"

Mike nodded. "I heard them talking about it in the trailer. Just before Lia got grabbed in that little town in Montana."

"Jeez, Leo _and_ Raph? That's two of 'em I missed. Man, am I outta the loop."

Donatello gave Casey an arch glance, which fortunately he didn't see.

Mike looked down. "Sucks for Leo, though."

* * *

The two sat quiet as stone, in stilled grace, amid the towering arbor. Their breathing was steady, consciously matched, two creatures of the woods, rat and turtle, displaced by chance into the darkest landscape of humanity, and returned now to nature.

Splinter withdrew from the depth of his meditation slowly, bringing his consciousness gradually back up to the surface. He opened his eyes and gazed at his son in the dappled green of the forest shade. In the next few moments he focused his attention on Leonardo, gently calling to his mind.

Leonardo drew in a breath and his eyelids fluttered. He exhaled slowly, coming back into his body, and eventually bringing his eyes up to meet his sensei's.

Splinter held his eyes for a long moment. "Your mind is clearer now," he said softly.

Leonardo nodded; barely any movement at all.

"But your anger remains."

Leo closed his eyes again, exhaling, as if he could blow it out of his lungs, banish all of it, all the feelings.

"It is alright that you are angry with me, Leonardo. It is to be expected that a son be angry with his father from time to time. And for you this is a rare occurrence." Splinter watched for Leo's reaction, and seeing him exercise only a wall of self-control, he went on.

"I know you understand, far better than your brothers, what I meant when I spoke of family. You _do_ know, whether from me, or from your own inner wisdom, how important that is. You have been my voice, when your brothers would not hear me, and in this I have counted on you, more than any of them, to make the right decisions in moments of crisis."

"I will tell you something, my son. The night you went into the mountain, into Alexander Skylord's fortress to rescue Lia, I saw your death. I saw it so clearly, I knew you were lost to me. And when I saw you, alive, on that hillside, I knew a miracle had happened. And all I could think of then was how much I love you." Splinter blinked rapidly then cleared his throat. He paused and brought his own emotions back under control. "Such events often give one a new perspective."

Leonardo opened his mouth to speak. He was torn between the impulse to embrace Splinter and the need to try and explain that the very miracle Splinter spoke of would not have happened, if not for Lia. The rat raised a hand to stop him.

"Let me finish, please, Leonardo. I do not know when or how we will find Raphael. I know that if he does not wish to be found, we never will. But I know that without you, we will never be whole. I need you to be our uniting force, not a dividing one. I would ask you, one more time, to honor my wishes in this, and to help me to bring us together once again.

"Leonardo, I am deeply sorry for the turn this path has taken. I do not know if there is anything I could have said or done differently, to have changed the outcome."

Leonardo's eyes were on the ground. "We do not yet know the outcome," he said softly. "We may never know the final outcome of our actions. What matters is how we conduct ourselves in the moment, and the principles which guide those decisions."

Splinter smiled a soft little smile, half-concealed beneath his furry muzzle, at hearing his own words return to him. "Tell me that you are with me, Leonardo. That I may count upon you once again."

Leonardo dipped his head; his eyes still downcast. He went to his knees, and bowed deeply, until his nose nearly touched the earth. In a hushed voice he asked forgiveness.

"Gomen nasai. Yurushite kudasai, O-sensei."

Splinter laid a gentle hand on Leonardo's head.

* * *

By late afternoon Raphael had not returned. Everyone had made little forays into the surrounding woods, searching in widening circles before retracing their paths back.

A trail they identified as Raph's, led to the remains of an oak tree. The tree, which was not by any means a sapling, looked as though it had been attacked by an enormous lawn mower. Branches and limbs were ripped to shreds; leaves scattered everywhere. The trunk, at least a foot thick, was ripped off four feet above the ground, the jagged white interior wood still moist with sap.

Don and Mike exchanged looks and moved on. From there, the trail led up to higher rocky ground where it vanished. While all four turtles were experts in the area of tracking, Raphael was unsurpassed in the art of disappearing.

* * *

Leonardo at last managed to get away on his own. He found Lia sitting with Rose on the small sandy beach by the river. The gurgling rush of the water over smooth, timeworn boulders, and the stirring of the breeze through the tree branches filled the air. Leonardo paused for a moment, concealed still in the trees uphill from them, and watched.

Rose sat playing in the soft sand with an improvised bucket made of the bottom half of a plastic 2-liter bottle. She shoveled sand diligently into it with a large wooden spoon.

Lia sat on a large boulder, her knees drawn up, gazing out over the river to the far shore. The breeze played fitfully with her hair.

Leonardo momentarily leaned his head back against the tree trunk behind him, his face heavenward. "Gods be with me and guide me," he murmured. He slipped quietly down through the brush and rocks, until her stood behind her.

"Lia…"

She turned her head. Seeing him she made a little noise and leaped off her perch. He caught her up in his arms and they held each other tightly, silently.

He took her face in his hands and kissed her with a fierce urgency. She could feel him shaking.

As he released her she searched his eyes. "What's going on?" she asked.

"Raphael isn't back. They're saying he left for home on his own. At least that's what he told Casey. Come here. Let's sit down. " He led her back to the boulder and they sat. Leonardo cleared his throat. He took a deep breath. "Lia, Splinter has asked me to take you and Rose to your home tomorrow. And then I am to return here. We plan to search for Raphael as we go back."

"Go back?"

"Go back home. Back to Northampton."

Lia pulled back, confusion fluttering over her features. "Go back-? You mean-? No!" She stood up. "No!"

"Lia, I have to—for Splinter, for my brothers. But it's just for now, just until we get this resolved-"

"No!" Lia's voice rose as she angrily turned away. "No! I know what this is. This where you go away and never come back!"

Rose paused in her play to look up at her mother, her eyes wide.

"Lia, please," Leonardo reached for her and she jerked away.

"I knew this! I knew this would happen- I knew you'd leave!" Lia hugged herself. "Oh, god…."

Leonardo captured her in his arms and turned her around to face him. "Lia…"

"No, no," Lia lowered her face into his chest. "You're leaving, you're leaving…" She began crying.

"Please hear me. I must do this. I must honor Splinter and what he wants. I must do this for my family. It's my duty to resolve this."

Lia shuddered.

"Listen to me. I'll come back for you. I'll come back."

She raised her face, her mouth tremulous. He brushed back her hair and the tears from her face.

"I'm coming back. Within a month, or two. As soon as I can."

"You promise?"

"I swear it."

"Isn't there some way…?"

"This is the way it has to be. I have to go back. But this gives you some time. You can make arrangements for Belladonna, I don't know, whatever you need to do."

Lia looked out over the water. Rose toddled over to her side and raised her arms to be lifted. Lia scooped her up and sank her face into the child's hair. Leonardo enclosed them both in his arms.

"You're coming back?" Lia whispered.

"Yes, I'm coming back."

"Leo…" Lia squeezed her eyes shut tightly.

"Yes."

"All right."

* * *

The long summer sun was dipping into the west, sending angular shafts of red through the trees as Sean and Michaelangelo began working on dinner. With flamboyant embellishments, Mike chopped the celery and onions, his favorite ginsu flashing in the sunset.

Sean was wrestling with a sweet pickle relish jar. He whacked the lid on the edge of the picnic table for the fourth time.

"You're gonna break it, dude," Said Mike. "Here, let me get it."

"No, I got it," said Sean stubbornly. He tried again to open it, his face contorting with the effort.

Rose scampered up to the picnic table and climbed onto it, seating herself in front of Mike. She turned her flirtatious baby smile at him.

"Hi, Mike!"

"Hiya, Rosie." Mike poked a finger lightly into her ribs and she grabbed her tummy, giggling.

"You guys want some help?" Lia was slowly following Rose. Mike could see her eyes were red and her face flushed, but she lifted her head and tossed her hair as she approached, making an effort to look lively and light-hearted.

"Yeah, y'know, Sean's having some trouble with this." Mike snatched the relish jar from his hands.

"Hey!"

"It's a kinda—urgh!" Michaelangelo made a great show of struggling with the jar cap. "Stuck. Here." He handed Lia the jar. With no effort at all Lia twisted the top off. She handed the jar to Sean.

"Wha-? No way. You loosened it," he accused Mike.

"Nope. Lia's magical."

Lia tried to smile. "Anything else I can do?"

"You could get the bowl of macaroni out of the fridge," said Mike. "I think it's too heavy for Sean."

"You guys are pickin' on me," protested Sean.

Splinter was suddenly and silently standing by the picnic table. Lia jumped and then struggled not to let her anxiety show at the sight of him.

"Lia, this would be a good time to speak together, would it not?" he asked her.

Her heart leaped up to her throat. "Oh, yeah. Yes. Yes, ok." She turned to Rose, holding out her hand.

"Don't worry, I'll watch her," said Mike. "Hey Rose, you wanna make a mess with me?"

Rose nodded enthusiastically.

"Good! That's my little pickled petunia."

"I'n not a 'toonya!"

"Sure ya are!" Mike tickled Rose again and she giggled, ignoring Lia as she kissed the top of her head and set off behind Splinter.

Lia followed Splinter into the woods, awash in mounting dread. As the day had worn on, she had felt less and less like talking to Splinter. Her first thought had been that she might be able to plead with him, call upon his heart and make him understand how she felt about Leo. But after Leonardo had told her of Splinter's decision, and seeing the change in him, she was almost afraid to say anything. Whatever the old rat had said to Leonardo, he had gotten to him. _Reeled him in_, she thought, feeling a sort of terrible awe at Splinter's ability to do that.

She watched the short, robed figure moving nearly soundlessly through the low brush before her, staff in hand, his ears pricked forward. One of Splinter's greatest strengths, and his power of influence, lay in his ability to quietly state the obvious. If he had been angry with Leonardo, she wondered what Splinter must think of her? Her cheeks burned with shame. Surely Splinter must see her as a loose, immoral girl who had led his son astray.

Oh Goddess, this is it. Here comes the lecture, the tongue-lashing. No wonder he wants to take them back home as soon as he can. Stupid, Lia. Stupid, stupid. I respected Splinter so much and I've defiled his star pupil. So now I'm going to get just what I deserve.

By the time Splinter had paused and indicated a soft mossy place on the ground for them to sit, Lia was shaking and fighting back tears.

They sat and Splinter's dark eyes grew soft. "Child," he said taking her hand in his. "I am so sorry to cause you so much pain."

Lia choked back a sob and wiped her eyes. She shook her head, not knowing what to say and terrified of what he was about to say to her.

"Lia, I am not angry with you."

Lia blinked and gulped.

"I hope you did not think that I was."

"I did. I thought you must be."

"For what? For falling in love?"

"No, not that part…."

Splinter shook his head and raised a hand. "No. No, I was unhappy with Leonardo, and with Raphael, for the manner in which they continue to deal with one another. But I was never angry with you.

"Lia I want you to believe me, that if there was some other way I would gladly take a different path. You are young yet. There are things I know that with time you will understand more. Right now I know it is difficult."

Relieved as she was that Splinter was not angry with her, Lia frowned a little. _What was he saying?_

"I know your family is far flung, and scattered to the winds, and I know that although you do not speak of it, not knowing where your mother and father are weighs upon you heavily."

Lia looked down.

"You recall the way you felt when you first came to us, when little Rose had been taken from you. You were filled with anguish, but also a fierce determination to find her, were you not? You would have done anything, is that not so?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"So in this way, you might understand how important it might be to me, to find Raphael. And also to keep my family united. My sons are unique. They need one another to survive. And to help each remember who they are."

Lia found herself shaking again, but now she felt more anger than fear. "Splinter, you told me once that you had always told your sons who they are."

"Yes."

"Does that include telling them who they are not?"

Splinter frowned, one ear twitching.

"What I mean is, maybe they will one day grow beyond what you have told them. Maybe they have. And maybe…maybe you won't like seeing that, but maybe it's what just happens, you know, when children get older."

Splinter smiled slowly. "I do, Lia, expect them to one day grow beyond my teaching. In many ways, Leonardo already has, though he does not know that. But for today, he is still bound to his family. And to me."

Lia bit her lip, shaking. "You could have set him free," she blurted.

"That kind of 'freedom', Lia, is an illusion. We are all prisoners. We may trade one set of bars for another, but freedom, true freedom, comes only when we are free in our minds from the prison of Self. And that takes many, many years of practice."

Lia closed her eyes. She felt like she was playing a chess game to which she only knew half the rules. And she knew there was no winning.

Splinter gently touched her hand again. "I believe that you love him, Lia. I believe he loves you. I pray in time that you both will come to understand the reasons for my decisions, and not hate me."

"I don't hate you. But you're right that I don't understand. And I think, Splinter, there are some things you don't understand either."

Splinter regarded her silently as the evening fell softly around them. He had said his peace, and there was nothing more he needed to say.

* * *

Dinner was quiet. Afterwards Michaelangelo had dug out Lia's guitar and placed it in her hands, but she set it down without playing.

"I don't think anyone feels like singing, Mike."

He shrugged and nodded. "I guess you're right. But I would anyway."

Lia looked up at him and he smiled encouragingly, sitting next to her. She picked the guitar back up and strummed the strings a bit, tuning it. April came and sat by the fire. Casey sat next to her.

Lia ran her fingers over the strings, picking out little bits that led nowhere. She tried to remember the song she had started to write weeks ago in the lair, and then decided she didn't want to play it. Tonight it would have been too painful.

Splinter's words had started her thinking about her mother, and playing the guitar, the instrument she had taught her, was bringing back a flood of memories. She found her throat tightening into a knot. At last her fingers picked out the notes that finally coalesced into something her mother used to play. With the others waiting expectantly for her, she decided she could handle it.

I hear the drizzle of the rain

Like a memory it falls

Soft and warm, continuing,

Tapping on my roof and walls.

And in the shelter of my mind,

Through the mirror of my eyes,

I gaze beyond the rain-drenched streets,

To a land where my heart lies.

My mind's distracted and diffused.

My thoughts are many miles away.

They lie with you when you're asleep.

And kiss you when you start your day.

Now the song I was writing's left undone.

I don't know why I spend my time

Writing songs I can't believe

With words that tear and strain to rhyme.

So you see I have come to doubt

All that I once held as true.

I stand alone without beliefs.

The only truth I know is you.

And as I watch the drops of rain

Weave their weary paths and die,

I know that I am like the rain;

There before the grace of you go I.

April turned to her and Casey started to clap his hands softly, as Lia laid the guitar quickly on the ground.

"Excuse me," she said quietly and hurriedly walked away.

April shook her head sadly.

* * *

Lia was laying out her blankets one-handed in the dark, Rose on her hip, when Leonardo appeared beside her and took the bedding from her hands.

"Come on," he said. "We'll go over there." He gestured to a small sheltered area behind a stand of wild lilac.

Lia looked uncertainly at him and then over at Casey and April who suddenly became very interested in something on the ground.

Sitting by the fire, Donatello engaged Sean in an ember-poking contest. Mike had apparently discovered a fascinating constellation. He stared with rapt interest up at the sky.

"Lia," said Leonardo. "There are no secrets anymore."

Lia hesitated.

"Unless," he said, his voice dropping to its gentlest tone "Unless you don't want to sleep with me."

"No- no. Of course I do." Lia picked up the pillow and gave it a good shake and without a backward glance, followed Leonardo.

* * *

They curled together under the stars; Rose asleep in Lia's arms, Leonardo embracing them both. Lia laced her fingers through his and kissed his hand.

"Leo," she whispered. "This is the only place, the only place in my whole life, where I have ever felt safe."

"You'll be safe at home," he whispered into her hair. "Until I can come back for you."

"Maybe. But I won't feel it."

"You will. You'll be ok. Just wait for me."

Lia snuggled deeper into his arms, pressing against him. "I will, Leo. I'll do whatever you want."

"Kathy's Song" composed by Paul Simon. Lia changed one word as she sang, from "England" to "a land"

_No, the Fat Lady has not sung yet..._


	25. Chapter 25

_The Journey Home_

Chapter Twenty-five

* * *

Date: July 13, 1989

17:00HRs

**For Your Eyes Only** And no one else unless authorized by Presidents Advisory

RE: Anthropoid Species Research Team T-4

Attention Dr. Stephen Emmerson

Confirmation of subject sighting.

Feather River Canyon, Northern California

Latitude 41.4 by 50058

0900 Hrs Pacific Daylight Time

Advise implementation Specialist Team 12

Drs. H. Marshal, UC Berkeley, and Levi Kunstmann, UC Medical Center, SF, on stand-by alert.

Prepare Mobilzation into No. California ASAP

Frank Gifford MD, Special Task Forces

* * *

He looked at her face as they walked, glancing over at her, and felt again the ache in his chest. The early morning sun, playing tag with the retreating shadows of the trees, gilded her face and hair. To Leonardo, the light appeared more to emanate from within, rather than to come from some source outside of her. He didn't understand how anyone could look so beautiful that it hurt him. But it hurt, like an ache, like a hunger felt so deep it might never be sated.

They walked without speaking, scuffing the soft earth gently, rhythmically, beneath their feet. Lia held her chin high, eyes forward, her mouth firmly set. Instead of a joyful moment of triumph, Lia's return home now felt to Leo more like a grim death march through the woods.

He wanted to talk to her. He wanted to touch her, hold her, feel her soft hands on him. He wanted so much for things to be something other than what they were.

Rose's little legs had given out after forty-five minutes of hiking and Lia carried her on her hip. The child curled against her mother's shoulder, growing sleepy. Winding uphill, the narrow deer path led through the dark, twisting, bodies of young oak trees that gradually surrendered the land to the pines and cedars. As the warming sun touched upon each new leaf and flower and blade, sweet fragrances awakened. Birds sang jubilantly, twittering and calling their melodies all around them. The entire woodland seemed in mid-celebration of a party to which Lia and Leo had somehow not been invited.

The uphill course of the path grew steeper as they moved deeper into the evergreens, and Lia hitched Rose up higher, leaning into the slope. Her face was resolute, stoic, but Leo could see her cheeks flush with the exertion of the long hill.

"Here," said Leo. "Let me carry her."

Lia paused. "You've already go my pack and guitar," she said softly, keeping her eyes averted. He could almost understand why she wouldn't look at him, but it hurt.

"It's no problem. Here." Leonardo reached for Rose.

Rose curled up tighter against Lia, away from his outstretched hands.

"Rose?" asked Lia, nuzzling her. "You want Leo to carry you for a while?"

"No." Rose buried her face in Lia's hair.

"Rose? Come on," Leo coaxed. "Your Mom is tired. You can ride on my shoulders."

"No," said Rose.

Lia shrugged her shoulders slightly, still avoiding his eyes. "Don't worry, Leo. I don't think it's you. Maybe she feels a little strange. She knows we're going home."

"We goin' go see 'Nonna," said Rose, clinging to her mother without looking up.

"Yes, we are. We're going home now-" said Lia and her voice caught. She bit her lip and turned her face to her daughter.

Leonardo saw the tear escape and trace down her cheek, and it knifed through him. He stood still for a frozen moment.

"Ah, god…" Leonardo set down the guitar case and reached for her, pulling her into his arms. "Lia…"

Lia stifled the sob in his neck, clutching at him with her free hand. "Leo..."

* * *

"Hey, Mike."

Michaelangelo looked up at his brother.

"What're you doing?"

Mike looked back down at the bright, sweet smelling grass where he lay on his stomach. "Watchin' bugs."

Donatello wrinkled his nose and sat down next to him.

"Lady bugs aren't all ladies, are they?" Mike asked.

"Why? You find a rude one?"

"No, I mean, there are like dude lady bugs, too, huh?"

Donatello scratched his head. "I suppose. Well, of course, otherwise they couldn't reproduce."

"Yeah." Mike swallowed.

"Yeah."

They were quiet for a moment in the warm, dappled sunlight.

"You know this just totally sucks," said Mike at last.

"What? You mean Raph?"

"Yeah, that. And Leo. It just sucks." Mike softly brushed the grass with his hand. "She looked so sad this morning. You know, when she said goodbye. I felt awful."

Donatello sighed deeply and picked up a stick.

"I keep thinking," said Mike. "I've always thought that one day it's gonna be ok. I always think that someday, something really good will happen and things will change. We'll be able to have normal lives. Be able to, you know, talk to people, have friends. I mean, besides April and Casey. Have, you know…."

"Girlfriends?"

"Yeah."

Donatello shook his head.

"But, look at this. Raph finds someone and she gets killed. Leo finds someone and all this happens. I mean, if _Leo _can't even pull it off..."

"Maybe it's just not meant to be."

"You believe that?"

"I don't know. Maybe we just need to learn to accept who we are."

"Right, Don. Mister There's-An-Answer-To-Every-Question Guy."

"Well, there is, if we're talking about science. But you can't make something be something it isn't. I want to know who I am, yeah. But I don't want to fool myself into thinking I'm something I'm not."

Mike stared back at the earth. "You sound like Leo."

"Well, maybe Leo is right."

Mike looked up. "No. I mean you sound like Leo before he fell in love."

Donatello poked with his stick in the dirt. "I can't see where falling in love ever made anyone smarter."

"I'd like to try it sometime anyway…"

* * *

The air smelled of diesel smoke and hot oil. It mixed with the pungent scent of pines, and the cool rush of the river far below. From the tower he could see the entire countryside spread before him. It looked remarkably like the little model railroad scenes he would see in store windows at Christmas time. A winding ribbon of silvery track skirted the side of the mountain wall and spiraled down to the deep river canyon below. High trestles arched over the broken terrain and huge boulders where the railroad men had blasted through the mountain rock a hundred years ago.

To his right, where the high ground was relatively level, was the train yard. The track branched into several lines, and some held train cars, the boxcars and gondolas waiting to be bumped and coupled to the next freight train. Lining the rows of track were small buildings, and beyond that, the long-empty roundhouse, a relic from the days of steam. Two narrow roads wandered off from the yard into the trees toward logging camps and small towns.

The sun was hot on his carapace, and it felt good. It might have been the only part of him that did feel good, but he was willing to take that. At least it took his attention off the pain in his heart.

A movement over by the track caught his attention. Three figures emerged from behind a string of cars. The first staggered, weaving erratically away from the other two. He could see the man's gray hair, a sloppy jacket flapping from his back.

Raphael stood up on his narrow steel perch, hanging onto the supporting girders. He squinted, watching as the two other men chased the first, knocking him down, striking him, and rolling him on the ground. They searched through his clothes, and apparently finding what they wanted, took off running.

Raphael swung himself off the steel beam to the next below and clambered down the tower, his heart thudding with a predatory eagerness. For a brief moment he felt the absence and wished Casey were there with him.

He hit the ground and drew his sai, running toward the track, snaking through the rabbit brush and low trees.

* * *

He held onto her while she cried, and felt utterly powerless. She clung onto him with one hand, the other still holding Rose, her whole body shuddering with her sobs.

"Lia, Lia, wait. Please…" Leo held her tear-streaked face, raising her chin.

She looked up at him, her reddened eyes desperate with grief. "You can come with me," she sobbed. "Please, Leo? We can run away. If Raph can run away, why can't we? Leo-"

Leo shook his head. "Shh…Lia, oh please don't do this. We can't- You're not making any sense. Come on, let's sit down."

"I'm not- not -making sense?" Lia hiccupped. He pulled her into the shade and they half slid, half fell down into the soft cushion of pine needles and leaves together.

He turned her toward him. Lia lowered her face, burying her face in her hands. "Don't leave me, Leo. Please don't leave me…"

Looking up at her mother with confusion and fear on her face, Rose clenched her little fists around the fabric of Lia's shirt. She stared accusingly at Leonardo for a moment and then stuffed her face into her mother's lap.

Leonardo fought down his own churning emotions, reaching inside for that sane, cool, mind that never deserted him in combat or crisis.

"Lia, please. I need you to be strong now. I know I keep asking you to do that. Just one more time. Please." He gently brushed her hair back. "I have to go. I will come back."

Lia shook her head, her face still hidden in her own hands.

"Mommy, you kye?" asked Rose, her own voice shaking.

"Oh, baby, it's ok," Lia lifted her head and hugged her daughter close. She slowly rocked Rose in her arms.

Leonardo watched Lia comforting her daughter and wondered if she wasn't actually comforting herself. "Lia, you know I'll come back. You know me." She seemed not to hear him, but kept rocking. He put his hands on her shoulders. "Lia, _look at me."_

He said it strongly enough she looked up quickly.

"Look in my eyes. Tell me who you see."

She held his gaze for a moment, then closed her eyes. "Leo," she whispered.

"And you know me. You know who I am." He took her hand and laid it against his chest. "I know you trust me. Please trust me now."

Lia gulped in a shuddering breath, biting her lip hard. She took his hand and pressed it between her breasts. "I do trust you. I trust you with this. With all of me. But I'm so…so scared."

He closed his eyes, stopping in his throat all the pointless reassurances that came bursting up from within him. Leo drew her into his arms again, holding both of them, feeling again the awful helplessness.

He couldn't fix it. He couldn't make it right. Because the truth was, he knew her, too. All he could do was hold her until the storm passed.

* * *

Raphael found them leaning on a coupler between two boxcars. Two guys, long past the age when they could be called kids, dressed in stained dirty jeans and flannel shirts; they were slugging down the small bottle of booze they had claimed from their victim, and going through his wallet. They weren't finding much.

Raphael hit them from behind, clubbing the first to the ground with the hilt of his sai, and then ramming the second man's face into the gravel. Neither got so much as a glimpse of him.

"Don't move, you scum," Raph snarled into his captive's ear as he pinned him down, one knee in the small of his back, one hand twisting his arm back painfully. "What'd you get off the old guy?"

"Nothin'—gagh—nothin'! Check it out. Nothin' in that damn wallet."

Raphael tweaked the arm up tighter.

"Ok, ok. Five bucks. In my back pocket."

Raphael jerked the bill out.

"Man, what do you care?" hissed the man on the ground. "He's just some drunk old fu-"

He didn't get to finish his sentence.

Raphael left both men lying in the gravel.

He slipped carefully between the line of cars, ears straining for any sound over the low throb of two diesel locomotives idling on the far track. The old man was lying on his back, shoved up alongside the rails. At first Raphael wasn't sure if he was dead or alive. He put his face next to the man's mouth and felt his breath. He was breathing all right, and his breath was rancid.

"Hey…" Raph gently shook his shoulder, and glanced around. He knew he was far too exposed where he was. While he felt compelled to get this helpless old guy out of harm's way, his instincts to remain hidden tugged at him. "Hey, you hurt?"

The man groaned and raised a feeble hand, trying to bat Raph away.

"Hey, whoa. I'm the cavalry, pal."

"They got my bottle…" the old man muttered, his eyes still closed.

"Yeah, I know. But you had enough." Raphael raised the man's shoulders from behind, but he seemed too weak to sit up.

"Who are you? Yard dick'll be here in a minute," rasped the old man. "Gotta get over to that car on the eastbound track."

"The what? Who?" Raphael looked up and down the track, his vision cut by the line of cars.

"The boxcar on the end of the string on the eastbound track."

"Show me."

The old man unsteadily pushed himself up on one elbow. "Where is the round house?"

Raphael pointed. "There."

"Where?"

It was then that he realized the old guy was blind.

Relieved at this turn of events, Raphael lifted the man under the arms and half-led, half-carried him to the most likely looking boxcar, and hefted him in there. The old man leaned wearily up against the steel side of the car's interior.

"You'd better get in here, too, boy. The road bull catches you out there it'll be your ass in a sling."

Raphael shrugged. It didn't seem to make a whole lot of difference at that point. He swung himself up into the relative cool of the car's interior.

"Oh, here." Raphael stuffed the five dollars into the man's hand. He grinned sightlessly at Raph and rubbed it between his thumb and forefinger, as if trying to identify the bill.

"How about my booze?" he asked.

Raphael sighed and handed him the bottle from where he had tucked it in his belt.

"Sit down here, son," ordered the old man. Opening the pint bottle he took a long swig and wiped his hand over his thin lips with a satisfied smack. It seemed to revive him. "What's your name, anyway?"

"Raphael."

"Hiram J. Fentucket, sports promoter. Call me Hi." Instead of extending his hand, Hi handed Raphael the bottle.

Raph sniffed it and then took a swallow. It burned going down. "Good ta meetcha," he managed to say before choking.

Hi laughed. "Second one's not so bad. Go ahead, son. I owe ya."

Raphael narrowed his eyes, regarding his companion. He looked frail in his threadbare jacket and pants that had perhaps twenty years prior been someone's dapper leisure suit. His thin gray hair fell to his shoulders. He smelled terrible.

Raphael took another swallow. It really wasn't much better.

"So did ya see where those punks went?" asked Hi.

"They won't bother you again."

"That so?" Hi reclaimed his bottle. "They're new here. Most of 'em have some respect, y'know."

Raphael poked his head out the sliding door and looked up and down the track. "Who'd you say was comin'?" he asked.

"Railroad bull. Yard cop. You don't know much o' nothin', do ya?"

"Guess not."

"You better learn quick. You'll get popped. 'Less you're lookin' to spend two weeks in county."

"Not likely." Raphael turned to Hi. "Lemme have another chug of that."

"What, you some kinda tough guy?"

Raphael grinned and took the bottle again. "Hey, I took out those two punks for ya, didn't I? Cops don't scare me."

"What'd you do?" Hi's deeply lined, flushed face turned toward the sound of Raph's voice.

"Just beat 'em down. I didn't kill 'em or anything."

"You a fighter?"

"You could say that, I guess."

"You a good fighter?"

Raphael's grin twisted with amusement. "Yeah. Never been beat."

Hi rubbed his stubbled chin thoughtfully. "You interested in makin' some money?"

Raphael snorted and looked out the door again. "I don't need money."

"Everyone needs money. What'd you say your name was?"

"Raphael."

"Sit down here, Raphael. Damn rude of you to stand while you're drinkin' a man's booze. Sit down. I got a business proposition for you."

* * *

To: semmerson

From: cjohnson ucberkeley.edu

Re: siting confirmation

Satellite photography confirms location of subjects: A1 anthro male, and female. A2 anthro male unconfirmed. Request go ahead. Research team prepared to launch Project c/4.

* * *

"There it is." Lia pointed through the trees. A warm light shone through the evening dark from a cabin window, less than a hundred yards away.

"Whoa, if it wasn't for the light no one would see it," whispered Leo.

"That's just how it looked when I first got here." Lia stood still, gazing at the glow of light ahead. She chewed her lip. "I was three months pregnant. I'd been running for a week….. I had hitchhiked until I ran out of road and then I just kept walking until I found this place." Lia's eyes were far away. "I went in. You know, just like Goldilocks, I just walked into the cabin and collapsed on the cot. I was so exhausted. In the morning Belladonna found me. She acted like she had been expecting me. Well, in fact, she said she was." Lia shook her head. "It was one of those things, just meant to be somehow…." Lia looked over at Leo and smiled. "You know; when the student is ready the Teacher will appear?"

Leonardo nodded. "Or when the Teacher is ready, the student will appear," he said softly.

Rose twisted around in his arms. "We home?" she asked.

"Yeah," Leonardo kissed her on the cheek.

Rose turned back to face him. She grabbed his face in her hands. "You kiss me?" she demanded.

"Yeah. I did. Is that ok?"

Through the gloom, Rose looked into his eyes, as though searching in her child's wisdom for something there. She tilted her head, and then kissed him on the nose. "Ok," she said with finality and wiggled, out of his arms, trying to get down. "Wanna walk." Leo set the child on the ground.

They started forward again and Leonardo slipped his hand around Lia's. Through the soft dark stillness, the lighted window beckoned. They paused at the edge of the wood and the clearing around the cabin. An owl hooted far away.

"Leo," Lia turned to him. "You can come in. Just say hello for a minute. Belladonna-"

Leonardo shook his head. "I can't do that."

"Leo, please. Just for a minute. I want her to meet you –I want—Leo—it'll be ok…"

He shook his head. "Lia, you know I can't…"

Lia suddenly looked down. Rose was gone. "Rose? _Rose?"_

A small form, pale hair bouncing in the moonlight was running across the clearing toward the cabin.

"Rose! Wait!" Lia cried, but she was not listening. They could hear her calling for 'Nonna as she ran.

The front door opened, and light flooded onto the porch. Belladonna's full frame appeared on the porch and the small child dove into her arms.

"Rose!" They could hear the woman exclaim as she lifted her into her arms. "Oh! Rose!"

"Come on!" Lia grabbed Leo's hand. He stood his ground.

"Lia, no…"

"Please, Leo, come with me-"

"Lia? Lia?" came the sound of Belladonna's voice calling from the porch. "Lia are you here?"

"Leo-" Lia's eyes were desperate again.

He caught her up in his arms and kissed her, tender, fierce, determined. He pressed his face against hers, holding her tightly. "I swear to you I'm coming back for you."

"Lia?" Belladonna had stepped off the porch.

"Mommy!" called Rose from her arms. "MOMMY!"

Lia glanced back and forth between the cabin and Leonardo. "Please-!"

He let his arms slip from around her. "Go on."

"Leo-" she whispered, gripping his hand.

"MOMMY!"

Lia let Leo's fingers slide from hers and with her eyes on him still, stepped out into the clearing.

"Lia!" called Belladonna.

Lia turned, glanced back again, and then ran across the clearing into Belladonna's embrace.

Leonardo set the backpack and guitar case down at the edge of the woods. He watched as the three hugged one another. He could hear them talking; Rose clamoring over Lia as she tried to talk to Belladonna. The old woman said little, but suddenly looked up directly in Leonardo's direction. He pulled back, sinking against the trunk of a tree.

"Who is out there in the trees?" he heard Belladonna ask.

Lia's voice was soft, hushed. "That's one…one of the warriors…"

"Does he not wish to come out?"

"No, uh….Leo?" Lia called. "Leo?" She took two steps forward. Belladonna sat on the porch stairs.

Leonardo pressed his carapace hard against the tree. He knew if he answered, if he followed her voice, and his heart, _now_, he would never go back. He squeezed shut his eyes, and closed his fists.

After a brief silence, Leo peered through the trees. He saw Lia standing by Belladonna.

"Leo…?" This time her voice was barely a whisper. Lia stumbled a bit and sat unsteadily down beside her teacher. The old woman put an arm around her. Lia dropped her face into her arms in Belladonna's lap, her shoulders shaking.

Pressed against the tree, Leonardo could hear her crying. With every ounce of discipline and strength he knew, he willed himself, willed his body, to turn and walk away. He willed his legs to keep walking, back through the dark woods, as the sound of her soft crying became fainter.

He was certain that he felt it; he knew when it happened, the exact moment when his heart broke.

He kept walking, carefully, deliberately, focusing only on putting one foot in front of the other.


	26. Chapter 26

_**The Journey Home**_

Chapter Twenty-Six

* * *

The hood-like black mask around his face hampered his breathingand it only angered him more, feeding into Raphael's already brimming circled, stalking, low to the ground, eyes on his opponent. Coleman lanterns, burning at the edges of the roughly drawn, dirt ring made the fighters inside the ring visible to the small crowd pressing in at them in anticipation. The tightly fitting black clothing Raphael wore hid his color, and the details of his body, but not his general form. The man before him was dressed in Levi's and a ripped T-shirt, his bare hands raised in a boxing stance.

Outside the ring, the men with money and women and jewelry, stood among the men in dirty overalls who shouted for blood.

Without warning Raphael moved in. Two powerful and lightening quick blows nearlyknockedthe larger man down, his legs buckling beneath him. The crowd roared their approval. The fighter shook his head, clearing the fog. He circled Raphael warily, respectfully increasing the distance between the two.

"Take him out, Rick!" shouted someone over the mayhem from the night shadows outside the ring.

"Kill that freak!" yelled another.

Other fans at ringside quieted, watching the short, stocky, powerhouse fighter intently.

"Gonna be short fight," they muttered.

"Who is that guy, anyway?"

Raphael moved in again, and faster than "Rick" could react, landed a left hook to his jaw, jerking his head sideways, followed by a brutal right into the ribs. As the man crumbled, Raphael's blindingly quick spin kick sent him sprawling across the ring.

He didn't get up.

A moment of near quiet fell over the stunned crowd. As the count began they raised their voices again, pressing forward like a wave.

The referee, who by his massive build was likely bouncer at a biker bar, turned away from the man on the ground. Several others rushed in to attend to him. The ref put a hand on Raph's shoulder. Raphael spun around and only barely stopped himself before decking the referee. Lifting Raph's hand in a gesture of victory, he shouted "The Winner... by knock out..._Raphael!"_

Money changed hands. Two men took Raphael off to the side, as the roaring thundered in his ears, and too many people crowded around. He fought the need to break away and bolt.

_Too many people…_

Hiram was at his side, an arm around him, pulling him away from two others who were shouting things that made no sense to Raphael.

"What'd we make?" asked Raph, his voice muffled under the mask. His breath came hard, not from exertion, but from the discomfort and fear of being so surrounded.

"Plenty. But you could make more. They love you—eh?"

Someone was pulling Hi aside and shouting in his ear.

"Yeah, yeah-" Hiram listened a moment, nodding. He turned back to Raph, groping to find him. Raphael grabbed his arm, jerking him closer and shoving someone else back. People, all around him, closing in.

"I'm gettin' outta here..." Raphael hissed.

"This way." Hiram pulled Raphael away from the press of bodies, back to the sheds that served as makeshift dressing rooms. It was dark inside, lit with a single bare bulb. It smelled of old urine and vomit.

"Sit down," said Hi, handing Raph a water bottle. Someone pounded on the door. "Go away. I'll be out in a minute!" he shouted.

Hi put a hand on Raphs' shoulder and Raphael recoiled.

"You ok, kid?" asked Hi. "Did he even get a hit?"

"No. Never touched me."

"Ok. You wait here. I'll be back. You wanna go again?"

"What've they got?"

"Don't know yet. Probably the guy that takes the next match. Probably be Smithy."

"Who?"

"Simon Smith. Big black kid. Real bad ass. Wait here. I'll be back."

Raphael sat uncomfortably perched on the broken stool. He stood up angrily and paced around the small space, feeling suffocated. He wanted to tear the mask off his face, but for fear of someone other than Hiram walking in on him, he didn't.

There was a quick knock at the door and it burst open.

Raphael jumped, ready to strike, and seeing Hiram's small frame, relaxed a bit.

"They're goin' nuts out there," Hi said excitedly. "They wanna put you up against two guys. Some of the money here didn't like how quick match that went."

"Screw 'em."

"We could clean up. Can you beat two at once?"

Raphael snorted. "Two more like that? Sheeit…"

"You'll do it?"

"What the hell…" He knew he wasn't even remotely done yet. He needed to beat the crap out of more bodies; he needed to spill blood. If he could make someone else bleed, or if _he_ could just bleed, the pain would run out, into the dirt, run like blood…

Hi had his hand on the door. "This is gonna be a circus, y'know. I'm goin' out, see what kinda business I can get goin'. We got at least an hour or so. You need anything?"

"No."

"I'll be back." Hiram groped his way out the door, the voices of men greeting him as he stepped outside.

* * *

The referee and three others pressed around him, moving him out to the center of the ring. He jerked away from the sweaty hands on him, hands on his shoulders, hands on his back, hands that would feel the hardness there and know it wasn't a man's back.

Raphael turned around slowly in the center of the ring, eyes on the crowd, heart pounding. They yelled at him; some jeered and booed over the roar. The lanterns burned bright, shining on him, and obscuring the faces in the crowd from his vision with their glare. It made him want to yell back, scream in their faces, but he knew too, that that was what they wanted. Better to stand, blood roaring in his ears, and let the sound of the mob wash over him. As driven as he felt, Raphael the Warrior had at least that degree of control.

Two men entered the ring from either side and Raphael suddenly felt better. This, he knew. This, he understood.

Raphael dropped into a fighting stance, a feral grin baring his teeth. The two men, raising their ungloved fists, closed in. Raphael circled, stepping slowly, with reptilian deliberateness, hypnotically snake-like. He struck suddenly, flying at the closest fighter and landing a sidekick into his ribs. Spinning around before the second man could reach him, Raphael swept him off his feet. He finished him with a savage chop. The first man staggered to a stand and jumped him, trying to catch Raph in a bear hug from behind. With sheer strength Raphael broke his hold, grabbed the man's head behind him and threw him over his shoulders onto the ground.

Down on one knee, Raphael had the man's jaw in his hands, ready to snap his neck when the burly referee and Hi both grabbed him. He bolted up, threw them off and retreated back, hearing the screaming crowd around him, remembering where he was. He raised his hands at Hiram, signaling he was ok; he was backing off.

Raphael paced the ring like a caged animal as the referee counted down. One man didn't move, the other, the one whose neck Raph had nearly broken, stayed down by choice.

"The winner- " shouted the referee, "-by knock out _and _by domination-"

Raphael ducked away, avoiding the referee's outstretched hand.

Hiram was yelling and Raph crossed the ring to him, one eye on the howling crowd. He put a hand on Hi's shoulder and Hi grabbed Raph's arm.

"What the hell are you doing?" the old man shouted. "You kill one of these boys and the money's liable to take you out."

"Yeah, bring it on," growled Raphael, his eyes on the roiling mass of humanity.

"...RA-PHA-EL!" shouted the ref and the crowd roared.

"Hey! Hey!" Hi grabbed Raphael's face. "You listen to me. I don't wanna see you gettin' killed. You do what I say, we make money, and you stay alive!"

"Yeah, yeah. Don't sweat it…." Raphael finally looked into Hiram's face and saw the fear. "Hey. I'm not gonna do anything stupid. We done? Or they got any more for me?"

"Come here, get over to the side-"

Raphael guided him to the sidelines. Those other men that wouldn't stay back pressed in around them, all talking at Hi, slapping Raphael on the back, congratulating him. He cringed away from their touch.

Someone grabbed Hi, talking excitedly in his ear. A rat-faced man had his nose an inch from Raphael's, shouting something and hitting him on the back. Raphael grabbed his hand, locking the wrist joint, and snarled. The rat man squealed like a pig in a snare, buckling to his knees in Raph's grip.

Another hand was on Raphael's arm and he jerked back, breaking free of the tight knot of sweaty men. He saw Hi groping for him. He moved around the outside, avoiding the others and grabbed Hi's arm, pulling him to him.

Hiram shouted over the bedlam. "They want to up the ante. They want blood." Hi wiped his mouth. "What you've done is got some people mad. And that's ok, but it sets up this situation with the crowd," Hiram was still shouting to be heard. "They want to see you fall."

"Yeah? How they gonna do that?"

"Hold on. Another thing is, someone says you're wearing armor."

"It's not. I told ya-"

"Yeah, I know, some bone deformity. They ain't buyin' it. They want weapons."

Raphael grinned. "Cool."

"Not you. For them. Three guys. With maces. You're empty handed."

Raphael sucked in his cheeks. "Will they be upset if I take 'em away?"

"Once you're in that ring you do whatever you want."

"Whatever?"

"Don't kill anyone."

"But they can kill me?"

Hiram stopped, staring sightlessly just past Raphael's face. He scratched his sallow cheek. "You wanna go for this, you do whatever you need to."

* * *

The conference room looked no different than any other room in the facility. The windowless walls, stainless steel and white, surrounded a long black table gleaming in the indirect lighting.

Dr. Stephan Emmerson faced his colleagues, a panel of three men and two women. His hands moved over the black file on the table before him.

"Ladies, and gentlemen," he began. "I have called you to this meeting because a matter of some urgency has arisen and it appears we have a small window in time in which to act. I had not planned to share my findings this early in my investigation, however, we have reached an impasse with the samples I have been provided. Let me preface this by saying that the information that they have given us may prove to be valuable beyond anything we could have imagined. I am not often given to hyperbole, but I would like to say that this could truly be the most important, if not disturbing, scientific discovery in the past 50 years. Prior to this last month, we have had no verified sightings of these creatures and they had been filed along with Big Foot and the Loch Ness Sea monster. We now have tangible evidence of their existence.

"As you know, these samples were gathered during last month's investigation of a farmhouse in rural Massachusetts where an attempt was made to capture a live specimen. Our investigators were able to gather these blood samples, which were reported to have come from wounds inflicted on the creature in their efforts to take it alive. It was believed there were two specimens present at the time, the alpha male and the beta male, and that these samples were derived from the beta. The determination of our classification of this social ordering of these creatures has been based on chance observation of the behavior during the Massachusetts investigation and serves only to distinguish one creature from the other. It may prove to be inaccurate. Four individuals have been identified thus far, and we have not made a gender determination on two of them. We believe both specimens identified at the Massachusetts site to be male, though we only have proof of that for one: the subject of the present investigation.

"We have before us here are the results of extensive laboratory work done on a sample of blood taken from a specimen said to possess reptilian physiology, with upright carriage and bipedal locomotion. Direct observation suggests they are approximately five feet tall, weighing between 150 and 170 pounds. Please refer to the illustration on page 7 of your files."

The panel members leafed through their files and Dr. Emmerson took a sip of water.

"Initially, the most important discovery we made was that these samples indicate the creature's cells contain 46 chromosomes, which as you know is the same number of chromosomes as those found in Homo sapiens. If you will again refer to the notes before you, you will see we have begun a rudimentary analysis of the DNA derived from the blood samples. The genetic mapping is moving along slowly, but the chart on page 64B will illustrate our progress thus far. The configuration of the amino acids, within the DNA strands, indicate exposure to an extremely powerful mutagenic agent. Because of this, the working theory with regards to these organisms is that they are in fact mutations, and not something that has evolved slowly over time here and remained hidden, nor some extraterrestrial importation."

A murmur of uneasy chuckling moved through the room. Dr. Emmerson cleared his throat.

"This brings us to the impasse I mentioned. At present, with the knowledge we have available to us, we have not been able to sustain cell growth from the cell samples that we have. We have been able to begin the process, and a small population of cells has been generated each time, but the cultures die after reaching a specific mass.

"Further, attempts to implant the nuclei into a number of viable cells, including female reptile and mammalian ovum, has consistently resulted in the death of the cell. Results of these experiments are outlined in the body of your files.

"The conclusion we must tentatively draw from this is that the cells in our sample are non-viable, and the current hypothesis being that this is due to the mutation. For the present, whether or not we will be able to go forward in this area rests solely on our acquisition of a live specimen. I cannot begin to impress upon you the importance of this, not only for our purposes and the furthering of knowledge in the field of genetics, but for countless other research endeavors in all fields of biology. Until then, the conclusion remains that due to the mutative nature of these cells, these creatures are not reproductively viable.

"So, the requests I have made to those in the other divisions of our agency are obvious. Happily they are consistent with the intentions of DARPA. We must see that efforts continue forward to locate and make a live capture of one of these creatures."

* * *

Dust and smoke rolled through the night air, lit eerily from beneath by lantern light. In the last hour while plans for the next fight were being laid, more and more people had arrived, many in late model, expensive cars. It seemed the word was spreading and the fight had been delayed to allow for those who lived at some distance. The mood of the clamorous crowd was reaching a dangerous fever pitch of anticipation. When Raphael stepped back into the ring the sound was deafening.

He stood, his head lowered, glowering at the crowd that, to a man, seemed to be crying for his blood. A low chant had started to one side of the ring.

"Die freak! Die freak! Die freak!"

Raphael ran a tongue over his mouth. It was dry. He hated the waiting, as he watched the crowd heave and move like a single massive organism. At the same time, it excited him. He liked the out-of-control feeling he felt from these people. He liked the blood lust.

The referee stepped into the ring, waving for quiet. He bellowed Raphael's name, and then three others. From three different points on the ring, the men entered. Two were white, and large framed. They each held a heavy weapon, a thick pole with great spiked balls on the ends.

Across from them the third entered. He was dark and lithe looking. In his hands he held a heavy chain with two lead balls on either end. He spun one end, the ball whistling in the air. The referee left the ring and the three human combatants surrounded Raphael, slowly closing in.

Raphael stood motionless, his head still down, following the men with his eyes. They didn't see his mouth draw back into the savage grimace. They didn't see Raphael move at all until he sprang at the closest fighter, catching his weapon arm at an impossible angle and breaking it. The man screamed and Raphael ripped the mace from his hands. Spinning around, wielding the mace in both hands, Raphael smashed the ball of the weapon into shoulder of the second mace-fighter. The man staggered under the force of the blow as the short bola fighter rushed in from behind. He caught Raphael around the neck with the chain and yanked hard. Raphael half-turned, grabbed the chain and instead of pulling back, came suddenly toward him: not what the man had expected. The turtle leaped, landing feet first on the bola fighter's chest, knocking him flat and driving the breath out of his body. The man lay writhing on the ground, his mouth gaping for air as Raphael jerked free the weapon.

Raphael turned, facing the last fighter, the mace in one hand, the bola spinning slowly in the other. The man, sweat plastering his hair to his forehead, gripped his mace in his one good hand and licked his lips, readying himself.

Two more men slipped into the ring from behind Raphael and rushed him. They grabbed his arms on either side as the mace fighter moved in, swinging. Taken off-guard, Raphael roared in outrage as the two men pinned him in place.

Raphael almost blocked the blow to his head, strong arming one of his captors, pulling him in front like a shield. The spiked ball ripped across his skull anyway, tearing the hood of the mask. The next blow coming back the other way struck his jaw, sending a shower of blood from Raph's mouth across the ring. Raphael staggered back, held up by the men at either side.

He looked up dizzily as the mace came at him again through the fog. Grunting, Raphael heaved his feet up in front of him, capturing the weapon between his legs before it could strike again. He jerked down hard, forcing the man holding the weapon in close.

Drawing from within himself a savage strength, Raphael hauled his two captors forward, ramming them into the mace fighter. Their hold broken just enough, Raphael ripped his arm free from one and shattered the face of the other with his fist. The second he swept to the ground, slamming his heel down into the hapless man's solar plexus. Neither man got back up. One coiled into a ball gasping for air, the other rolled on the ground, holding his face and screaming.

The mace fighter reclaimed his grip on his weapon and swung it around, trying to smash Raphael's head again. Raphael caught the staff, and with a twisting jerk, took possession.

The mace fighter backed away, keeping low, panic in his eyes as they darted over the ground searching for a weapon.

With an enraged growl Raphael threw down the mace and jumped on his opponent. He and the man went down, rolling in the dirt, and Raphael landed on top. The sai suddenly flashed in the lantern light.

Lying on his back, cold steel at his throat, the man stared into the face of his opponent in horror. The mask was ripped, the face beneath was not wholly human, huge teeth bared in some mad animal snarl.

"You give?" said the animal thing, his breath hot on the man's face.

All he could do was nod, a shaky, jerky sort of movement, afraid even to swallow.

Raphael could hear the crowd shouting around him now. He looked up, the blood running in his eyes, cutting his vision.

"Anyone else?" he roared hoarsely over the cacophony.

Pandemonium broke loose.

The referee was standing near waving his arms signaling the quit, trying to get his attention. The ref's eyes were on the placement of the sai at the fallen man's throat. He was not about to lay a hand on Raphael until he made eye contact.

When he did, Raphael stepped off his opponent. The referee reached for Raphael's hand, to raise it in victory, but Raphael jerked it away. As the crowd screamed and howled around him, Raphael turned his back and walked out of the ring, the path parting before him like the Red Sea.

Hi was at his side, gripping his arm, pressing a towel to his bloodied face and head. "You done good, kid. I know they wanted you dead, and you showed 'em. You did us proud."

Raphael impatiently tore the towel from Hi's hand and kept walking as some of the braver men and women began to close in around them again. One huge man in a gaudy dark blue suit blocked their path. On his arm was a busty blond wearing three pounds of makeup and little else. The crowd backed away around them.

"Hiram," the man greeted them, taking Hi's hand. His bulk dwarfed both Raphael and Hi. "Looks like you got yourself a winner."

Hi fingered the big man's ring and grinned. "Mr. Barcelona. Good to see ya."

"Kid," said Barcelona to Raphael. "You made me good money tonight. I like to bet on the long shots, and ya came through for me."

Raphael blinked, looking up, trying to focus on the man's face. He wiped the blood from his eyes again with the towel.

"This is Marsha," said the man, giving the woman a rough squeeze. "She wants ta thank ya for me. Got a room for ya in town." Barcelona jerked his head to one side. "My car's waitin' over there."

Raphael looked at the woman. Her thickly black-lined eyes were heavy–lidded and drugged looking. Her breasts pushing up from her black dress looked stiff and plastic. She pouted her red lips at him.

Raphael's stomach turned over.

"Yeah…um. Thanks. No, that's ok." He turned away, dragging Hi along with him. The knot of people around them closed in again, talking at them, arguing with each other.

"Ya shouldn't a' done that, kid," whispered Hiram, glancing back nervously. "That's Jimmy Barcelona. Jimmy _The Bull_ Barcelona. You don't wanna insult that man."

Raphael could only shake his head wordlessly, for a moment overwhelmed by far too many conflicting emotions and sensations.

"Listen. Hold on." Hi was dragging in Raph's arm. "Look kid, that coulda been a great opportunity for ya. You should go on back and make nice."

Raphael exhaled sharply. He kept moving, pressing through the crowd, ducking anyone who looked like they wanted to talk to him. "Look. There's no 'opportunities' for me, ok? Just forget it."

* * *

Dr. Emmerson rubbed his face wearily, realizing at last how exhausted he was. He pulled off his coat and opened the closet, hanging it up. Even the small cot-like bunk in his private apartment sounded wonderful now, as much as he would have preferred to go home. He wasn't entirely sure he agreed with DARPA's policy of keeping personnel on site while working on a project, but he could understand it. He and his wife had barely gotten moved into their new home when he was called in to begin work, and he had been here ever since.

The machine by his bed was flashing and he played the message. It was the front office with a message from his wife saying their daughter was home. Dr. Emmerson sat on the bunk and looked at the time. Too late to call now. He would have to get back to her in the morning.

A movement caught his eye and he looked up toward the doorway. The dark figure standing there made him jump.

"Good God!" He gasped in a breath.

"I apologize," said the man in the doorway. "I know it's late. I saw your light on and was just wondering how the meeting went."

Dr. Emmerson recovered from the surprise of his unexpected visitor. "It went well. I believe we will get the funding we need to pursue this project."

The man in the doorway nodded slowly, the overhead light glinting off his dark glasses. He smiled. "Glad to hear it. Well, I can see your tired. We can talk in the morning. Good night." He started to turn to go, then paused. "Steve, don't worry about the funding. I can assure you the money will be there for you." He gestured to indicate the upstairs offices. "They have a great deal invested in the success of this work."

Dr. Emmerson ran a hand over his mouth and nodded. There was something about this man that always unnerved him. Something that felt odd. He always seemed to know what was going on with everyone's business. Maybe it was his strangely abbreviated name, or the vagueness about his actual position. Or maybe it was simply that he always wore those damn dark glasses.

"Ok. Well, that's reassuring," said Dr. Emmerson. "That has been the impression I've had since I came on board here. There does seem to be a lot of positive commitment."

"I'm pleased you are happy here. Well, goodnight, Steve."

"Goodnight, N."

* * *

The train rocked over the tracks, the gentle rumble and clack soothing the two travelers in the night. Raphael tilted his head back, leaning up against the cool, steel wall of the boxcar, and let the cold beer pour over his throat.

"Ahhh…" he sighed.

"You sure you don't want more of this?" Hi offered him his whiskey bottle.

Raphael cringed and shook his head. Three good swigs off Hi's whiskey had taken the edge off the pain in his head and jaw. Now all he wanted was to kick back with something that tasted decent.

"Have it your way." Hi took another long swallow. "Here's to you, kid. To Raphael an' his future career." He wiped his mouth and screwed the top back on.

"Yeah," said Raph, with not a lot of enthusiasm.

"You know kid, I'm pretty pissed at you still."

"What for?"

"Turnin' down that Barcelona broad."

Raphael snorted with indifference. "Deal with it."

"Hey_, I'd_ have enjoyed a night in a nice hotel room, ya know? Damned self-centered of you."

"Yeah." Raphael closed his eyes.

"Yeah. Ungrateful, too."

"Bite me, Hi. I did all the work. You got your money."

Hi was drunk enough to keep after the issue. "What was it, huh? You don't like broads?"

Raphael drew in a long breath and exhaled slowly. He was tired enough not to care if Hi was trying to insult him. "No. S'not that. I like women."

"Just not that one?"

"Well, she _was_ pretty raw lookin'."

Hi chortled. "You got someone at home?"

Raphael shook his head, forgetting for a moment that Hi couldn't see the response.

"Where is home, anyway? You from Brooklyn or somethin'? You sound like it."

"Somewhere like that," Raph said softly, distracted. The face he had been fighting to drive out of his mind was suddenly hanging before him, laughing, her amber gold skin glowing, coils of coppery tendrils framing her face. "Shit." Raphael sat up straighter. "Hey, give me a hit off that."

Hi handed him the bottle and Raphael glugged down half of it before Hi could wrest it back.

"Damn! I thought you didn't like the hard stuff."

"Changed my mind."

They rode silently on for a while lulled by the soft motion of the train and the rhythmic sound of the wheels rolling over the track.

Hi was snoring when Raphael spoke. "You ever do anything really stupid?"

Hi grunted.

"I think I did somethin' real stupid." Raphael's voice was low and very soft, talking more to himself than to his half-conscious traveling companion. He swallowed. "I think I really fucked up."

Hi didn't answer.

"I didn't think about it. I was just so pissed. I didn't think about it at all then. But, I saw his face."

"Hrmph?" asked Hi.

"My brother's face. I saw the look on his face. When he looked at her. An' y'know, I think he really… loved her. And I screwed it up for him." Raphael rubbed his face with his hands. "Shit."

"Wha're you talkin' about?" mumbled Hi.

"I gotta go home."

"Wha-?" Hi pulled himself up. "We're goin' to Chicago."

"No," Raphael shook his head. "I can't. I gotta go home." He started to stand, unsteady on his feet, and heaved over toward the doorway.

"You oughta wait 'til the train stops," Hi suggested with remarkable clarity.

"Huh? Oh. Yeah. Guess so." Raphael sat back down clumsily. "Maybe I'll be sober by then too."

"Not if I can help it." Hi lay down, curling his frail body into a ball and bringing his blanket over him. "Look, kid. Chicago's right on the way anyway. There's a lotta money to be made. You got talent."

Raphael sank back against the wall. "No," he muttered. "I gotta get home."

* * *

"So how ya doin' Mikey?" Donatello flopped down on the porch next to his brother.

"Not bad." Mike was softly petting the large gray cat curled in his lap. "You?"

Don shrugged. "I'm ok."

They sat quietly for a moment.

"Feels weird here," said Mike thoughtfully.

Don gave Mike an ironic smile. "You mean with Raph still gone and Leo not hardly here?"

"Yeah. We've been home for two weeks and it's like he hasn't said a word about anything. But also…I dunno. Feels funny. April's all weirded out about something. Casey's pacing around like a caged tiger. I dunno."

"Well, it's weird everywhere," said Don. "You see the latest?" He handed Mike a copy of the Post.

"Whoa," Mike scanned the headlines. "Stuff's hittin' the fan in the Big Apple."

"Third day in a row they're talking about escalating street gang fights."

The screen door squeaked and Leonardo stepped out onto the porch and the morning sunshine. He breathed in deeply the morning air, walked to the railing and rested his elbows on it. Leo gazed out over the rose bushes into the front garden.

"Hey, Leo."

"Hey."

"You see this?" Mike handed Leo the newspaper.

Leonardo frowned, skimming the article. "Hm."

"What do you think?"

"I don't know." Leo handed Don back the paper.

Mike and Don exchanged looks.

"Hey Leo, you ok?" asked Mike, looking up at him.

Leonardo's mouth pulled back into a small smile. He shook his head. Swinging under the railing Leo sat down on the porch with a light clunk of his shell. He drew in a long breath. "I wish Raph would come home. Or at least that we knew where he was so we could go get him."

"You worried about him?" asked Mike.

Leonardo nodded slowly. "Yeah. I don't…I don't like what happened. I need to tell him..." Leo sighed. "There's a lot of things I need to tell him."

Don scratched his chin. "Like what?"

Leonardo kept his eyes fixed on the garden. "Like that I was wrong. And I'm sorry."

"Raph was wrong, too," Don pointed out.

"That's not the point."

"So," said Mike. "When Raph gets home you're gonna apologize, and then…"

"Then I'm heading back to California."

Mike's eyes widened. "What did Splinter say? I mean, does he know?"

Leo shook his head. "I'll tell him. I'll tell him before I go. But I'm going, no matter what."

"No matter what he says?"

Leo nodded.

"I know she's waiting for you, Leo," said Mike. "She loves you."

Leonardo looked down, the muscle in his jaw moving. Mike watched him, waiting, seeing the pain in his brother's face.

"You know," said Leo softly. "I never told her."

"Told her what?" asked Don.

"Those words. I never said it." Leo closed his eyes. "What the hell is the matter with me, I couldn't tell her that?"

"What?" asked Don, looking perplexed.

"I never told her I love her."

* * *

"You should eat, child."

"I'm not hungry."

"A bite." The older woman set a steaming bowl of soup in front of Lia on the wooden table. Lia sniffed it and suddenly felt queasy.

"I'm sorry 'Nonna. It's hard for me to eat so early."

"It is not early anymore."

Lia propped her elbows on the table and covered her face with her hands, sighing wearily. Her sleep-tangled hair fell in disarray. "I was dreaming about Alex."

"He still haunts your dreams?" Belladonna stood still, her hands quiet at her sides, lost in the folds of her long dress.

"It was different this time. Not frightening. It was almost as if we were reconciling something." Lia dropped her hands and shook back her hair. "I don't remember exactly what happened, but that was the feeling of it." She looked around the bright little kitchen. "Where's Rose?"

"Outside. In the garden."

Belladonna turned to the pot simmering on the huge white enameled wood stove that dominated the room. She stirred the soup one more time and then cut the fire.

Lia closed her eyes. "I'll clean up. You go on, 'Nonna. I'll finish up the kitchen. I'm sorry I slept so late."

"You sleep long hours these summer days."

Lia nodded. "I know. I'm sorry."

The wisewoman regarded her for a long moment, her feathery brows knitting together over piercing deep black eyes. She lifted Lia's face with one hand and gazed into her eyes.

"Hah," she said softly, and withdrew. Belladonna lifted her gathering basket from the iron hook by the back door and went outside.

Lia sat staring at her bowl, bits of greens and vegetables floating in a rich broth. The nausea swept over her again. She looked up, trying to focus on the bunches of herbs hanging on the rafters drying. The next wave came and she knew she couldn't keep it down. She ran outside just in time to throw up in the mint plants by the back door.

"Oh God….Oh, dear Goddess," she gasped leaning over, bracing one arm against the rock wall of the cabin, the other hand holding back her hair. Lia sat heavily down on the back step and wiped her mouth. She stared into the flowerbed before her, breathing hard.

"Oh, no. Please, no…don't let this be…."


	27. Chapter 27

_The Journey Home_

Chapter Twenty-Seven

* * *

He watched her lying still in the afternoon sun, pale pink skin against the silver sand, her child-like face softened even more in the repose of sleep. His eyes ran over her body, long red hair falling over the careless arm, the peaceful rise and fall of her breath, the graceful, wide, lyre curve of her hips. The need to touch her was almost painful. He reached out, and she seemed to move away from him, just beyond his reach. His arms felt heavy, weighted. He reached again and saw her still further away, drifting further from him. He crawled forward, heavily, too slowly, feeling like he was crawling through molasses and she retreated still more, receding from his vision, becoming a small flower petal shape, far away on the beach….

Leonardo woke up abruptly, gasping in a breath of air.

"Ah god…" he groaned, and rolled to his back, drawing his hands over his eyes and kicking off the damp sheets.

"Damn..."

* * *

"One more fight, Raph. That's all I need outta you. Just one more, and I can head south. Here." Hiram handed Raphael his bottle.

"What's so special about this fight?"

"The money. With what we could make here in Chicago in one crummy fight, I could go on down to Florida an' look up my family."

"Don't the freight trains run down there?"

"I mean, with this kind o' money I could go home with dignity. Ride the bus. Dress like a gentleman. You can do that much for me. Won't hurt ya."

"I don't want - I don't…shit." Raphael threw back another swallow. "Ya wanna tell me again how you figure I owe you this?"

"You don't."

"That's what I thought." Raphael closed his eyes, feeling the burn in his throat. He leaned his head back up against the peeling green wall of the dingy hotel. The rusty rattle of an ancient fan made an annoying, loud sound and did little to dispel the thick humidity in the sweltering little room.

"You like to fight and I like the money."

"Right. An' I told ya. I'm goin' home."

"You told me no one's gonna miss you. No one's gonna care."

"I was wrong."

"How you know that?"

Raphael waved him away with the back of his hand. The questions were getting too complicated. He was in no mind state to play verbal games with some old, drunk, blind guy sitting with him on a swayback bed in a two-dollar-an-hour room.

"Anyway, I paid for this place. And the booze," said Hi.

"Oh, yeah, right. And gee, where the hell didja get the money?"

"I bet on a winner. I got good instincts for winners."

"And who was that winner, huh?"

Hi sat up, turning his sightless white-blue eyes in Raph's direction. "Ya know what, you dumb punk? I'd still be here even if you were some lame ass loser. 'Cause I'd'a bet _against_ you."

"You'd bet against me?"

"If I thought you were gonna lose. What, do I look stupid?"

"Shit…" Raphael sighed. He grinned to himself. "Hey, Hiram. You'd tell me, wouldn't ya? If you thought I was gonna lose?"

"I'll go ya one better than that, kid. I'll tell ya _when _to lose."

Looking at him, Raphael could see no hint of humor in the old man's face. He shook his head in disgust. "Right."

"Right," muttered Hiram, as though he had won the argument. They sat in silence for a long time as the shadows grew long across the walls. Hiram finally spoke.

"So this fight you had with your brother-"

"I didn't say it was a fight."

"Was it a fight?"

"Yeah."

"So this fight you had with your brother, was it about a girl?"

Raphael sighed deeply. "Yeah."

"They always are."

"Yeah, right. How would you know, Hi?"

Hiram sat up with some effort. "You know what your problem is, kid? You got no respect. How old you say you were?"

"Seventeen."

"Seventeen. A know-nothin' punk. You ain't been alive long enough to even pretend to know anythin'."

"An' I suppose you do?"

"Yeah, I do."

Raphael grunted.

"I know women, kid. I know what they do to a man's brain. Turn a man against his own brother, right? Huh? I seen that." He settled back against the wall, nodding in agreement with himself. "Yep. I seen that."

Raphael looked over at his companion. "Yeah, I guess you musta been young once, huh?"

Hiram rubbed a thin hand over his sallow, spider-veined face. He seemed to have drifted off somewhere beyond the ugly green walls, beyond the dank smelling room. "Once, yeah. I was young. I had a wife once, too."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Oh, yeah. She was beautiful. She was a real lady."

"What happened?"

"She left me. Found someone better." Hiram drew in a long deep, raspy breath, and let it out slowly. "Then she died."

"She died? How'd she die?"

"Cancer."

Raphael swallowed; thinking there was something he was supposed to say and not sure what it was.

"That was such a waste," said Hiram. "I couldn't even be with her, and she just…. Then she was gone. Just like that."

Fighting the tightness forming an unexpected lump in his throat, Raphael swallowed hard again. He reached for the whiskey bottle. Hiram tightened his grip on it as Raphael tried to take it from him. Raph stopped and looked at Hi.

"What?"

"What is it?" asked Hi.

"What is what?"

Hiram's face broke into a wrinkled grin. "You think I can't see you, huh?"

For one horrible moment Raphael felt exposed. The blood drained from his face. "You mean you been fakin'?"

Hiram chuckled. "No. No, I can't see what you look like. But I _can _see right through you."

"Oh. An' what do you think you see?"

"You are tore up from the floor up, kid."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I dunno. You tell me. What's eatin' you?"

Raphael exhaled. He scrubbed his hands over his face, rubbing some sensation back into his nose. "Nothin'."

"Is it the girl?"

"No."

"You sure?"

"No. It's not. She's dead."

"Ah." Hiram sucked in his cheeks. He handed Raphael the bottle. Raph waved it away, which of course, Hiram didn't see. "So she died, huh?"

"Yeah."

Hiram sighed, took a swig from the bottle and set it on the stained nightstand by the bed. "Ok. I see now. That's tough. "

"Yeah, well."

"No, I mean that. I know. I been there."

Raphael said nothing.

"Hurts like hell, don't it?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry, kid."

Raphael drew in a deep, shuddering, breath. He watched the long shadows slide slowly across the wall. Somehow even the shadows seemed empty and futile. "You know," he said, his voice like gravel. "Sometimes it gets so numb…it's like not feeling anything at all.

"What is?"

"It's like bein' dead, I guess. Feels like everything's dead. Like it's all dead an' there's no point to anything. And then you gotta… you just gotta go kick ass."

"Yeah? How's that?" Hi mumbled as he sank into unconsciousness again.

"'Cause, I dunno… sometimes it's like…it's like you gotta bleed just to know you're still alive."

* * *

Lia stood waist deep in the young, green corn. The sun was warm on her back, even as a breeze picked up around her, lifting the hem of her short summer dress. She crouched over, pulling another long, viney, purslane plant out of the black earth. Next to her, Rose held out her small hand.

Lia smiled and picked off two of the fat, juicy leaves and handed them to her.

"I thought you said they were too sour?"

"Mh mh!" Rose shook her head. "They nummy!"

Lia ate one as well, enjoying the tangy crunch. "I like 'em, too."

"Me too! More?"

"Ok. Here you go."

Rose crouched next to her mother, imitating her posture, and turned her attention again to weeding. She picked at the tiny sprouting grasses and paused at a dandelion.

"That one?" she asked, pointing.

"I'll have to get that," said Lia, scooting closer under the canopy of corn. "Those have really deep roots."

Rose's attention drifted as Lia began carefully digging out the deep taproot, and the child toddled off to the next row. The rich loamy scent filled Lia's nose. Something in the activity reminded her of something, digging in, something deeply rooted, buried so tenaciously into the Earth...

Lia abruptly sat back and stifled a sob. "Dammit!" She stood up. "Rosie," she called. "I'm gonna go inside for a minute. You want to come in?"

"No…" answered Rose from somewhere deep in the rows. "I'n workin'."

"Ok," Lia stood and hurried through the gate, pulling off her gardening gloves. Mookie ran to greet her, bouncing happily at her heels. "Down, Mook," she mumbled, distracted. She nearly ran headlong into Belladonna, standing quietly in the flower-lined pathway, her gathering basket on her arm.

"Oh!" Lia hastily wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

Belladonna regarded her for a moment. "Come with me," she gently invited. Lia sighed and followed her to the ancient oak that shaded the area behind the house. Belladonna settled into her large chair formed of bent willow. Lia dropped on the quilted seat pad of her favorite stump. Mookie, and then Quinn, the other Australian shepherd, joined them, curling at their feet in the shade, panting. The women sat in silence for a while, Lia waiting for her teacher to speak.

"So…" said Belladonna.

Lia shrugged a little, and gestured helplessly. "So…"

Belladonna cocked her head.

"So he won!" Lia blurted, her voice breaking. "He won after all. He got me-" she choked back another sob and pressed her knuckles to her lips. "Dammit…"

Belladonna watched her silently.

"It's like he comes back, even from death, and he wins somehow. He's in here!" She hit her belly with her fist. "He's _in_ here, he's _here_, after all that, after everything—_he's still here_! _He won again!"_ Lia covered her face with her hands. "I didn't want this…I didn't _want _this…"

Belladonna watched her for a few moments and then spoke very softly. "You know that we can take care of it. I have the proper herbs."

Lia looked up, gulping in a breath and trying to control her tears.

"But we must act soon, if we are to do that. If we delay there is danger to you. You must think carefully, Lia. You must make the decision, and make it soon."

"I…I can't do that, 'Nonna. I can't."

Belladonna nodded. "I know the beliefs of your family tell you it is wrong. That belief is still inside you. But today, you must think about it. Think that you do not need to be the victim of this man. You can make a choice. Then what you decide, you must be content with."

Lia wiped her eyes, shaking her head.

"I cannot tell you what to do in this matter. You must look within for the answer. Talk to Spirit. The Earth, the Great Mother, will take back the child, if you wish to send him back."

" 'Him'?" asked Lia. "It's a 'him'?"

Belladonna nodded slowly, her black eyes on Lia's. After a long moment, she sighed heavily, braced her hands against the chair and stood. "We will talk of this more later."

Left alone, Lia curled her legs up closely her body, hugging her knees to her chest. "Great," she whispered. "Just great."

* * *

They had almost finished clearing the area of broken glass and cans. It was dark and hot; steamy with the day's humidity trapped under the rails of the "L" train. The dirt ground and surrounding alleyways smelled of garbage.

Raphael crouched behind a pile of broken pallets and packing crates, watching the men below as they prepared the fight arena. They moved with a casual indifference toward their task; a contained anger that to Raphael felt so familiar.

He tugged at the uncomfortable black shirt that concealed most of his body, and then carefully wrapped the black fabric around his face, over his red mask, securing it at his throat. Two cars pulled up, then three more, forming a circle, their headlights shining into the center where the ring would be, lighting up the area brilliantly.

"Damn…" breathed Raphael, realizing how light the ring was going to be. There was not going to be any question that his body did not look like a normal human's. "I shoulda left last night…"

He watched the people get out of the cars. Men and women dressed for a night on the town, spilled out, standing between the cars, sealing the ring. From the shadows more gathered, the low buzz of their voices growing.

The warehouse door across the alleyway opened, sending a feeble shaft of yellow light toward him. He instinctively ducked, and then saw Hiram standing in the door. Slipping silently off his perch, Raphael moved through the shadows to his side.

"This is gonna be a big crowd."

Hiram nodded. "Yep."

"I don't like it. Too light. Too many people that look like they live in houses with telephones an' TV's an' an VCR's an'shit."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Raphael shrugged. He didn't want to explain how it felt more risky for him here, tonight. But he knew, fighting under the elevated light rail train in the city, he was more likely to be seen by someone more dangerous than the bums in the half-deserted backwoods switchyard.

"Just feels too exposed."

"You afraid we'll get busted? Kid, it's safer here than where we were in California. All the cops have been bought off here."

"No. It's not cops."

Hiram leaned back against the steel door. "C'mere."

Raphael followed him inside the warehouse doorway.

"Look, kid," said Hi. "I figured your were wanted for somethin'. An' the way they're tellin' me you fight, I'm guessin' it ain't for littering. You wanna tell me now what you're running from?"

"Nothing. I'm not wanted for anything, don't worry. I've never—" Raphael paused. "I'm not wanted by the cops for anything."

"Anyone else looking for you?"

Raphael exhaled. "Well…yeah. That's possible."

"The mob?"

"Huh? No." Raphael laughed humorlessly. "No. Forget it Hi. Just forget it. I'm shy, ok? That's all. Just a little camera shy."

"Right. Ok, fine. I don't need to know your business. Listen, come here." They moved further inside the warehouse. It was nearly dark inside, illumined only on one side by a small bulb over an ancient and unused desk by the wall.

"Look, this fight tonight, they've put you up against this guy, Mickey. He's old. Been doin' this for too long. Used to have a good rep, but he's old and stupid."

Raphael cracked his knuckles. "You want me to go easy on him?"

"No. I want you to lose."

"What?"

"You heard me. Throw the fight."

"What the hell-?"

"One of the big bosses has a vendetta out. This is the plan. Lose this fight and we both come away big time winners. You go home, I go to Florida."

"I'm not gonna lose a fight on purpose."

"You better believe you are."

"What, and look like an idiot? No way."

"Yeah you are, kid. A lot of money is riding on this. Your reputation got here two days before we did."

"Shit."

"We're gonna fleece some dumb suckers who have it coming, and make some good money along the way. But you gotta do it for me, Raphael. Or it's all over."

"I suppose you already set this up? So like the important people are expecting it?"

"You got it."

"Aw, hell."

"You with me?"

Raphael looked into Hiram's face shadowed in the gloom, and then into the humid night outside the warehouse door.

"Yeah, yeah. Ok. Whatever."

"Good. We've got about another forty-five minutes. You want anything?"

"No."

"OK. Just relax then. We're almost home." Hiram paused at the door before going back out. "You're a good kid, Raphael."

* * *

They used an old-fashioned ringside bell to sound the start of the fight. The referee shouted the combatants' names, his hoarse voice lost in the shouting of the people gathered on the hoods of cars and around the improvised ring. The glare of headlights from the cars that formed the ring was blinding. Raphael squinted into the light, knowing in his gut he should not be there. He was certain he was blowing it now, and risking far too much for this old fart to whom he owed nothing. In fact, he had reasoned, Hiram owed _him_. From the start, it was Hiram who owed Raphael his life. Why the hell was he doing this? The inner conflict distracted him. He had to forcibly redirect his attention on what was happening, snarling at himself for his lack of focus.

His opponent lumbered stiffly out from his corner, and the crowd shouted and jeered at the fighters. A heavy, thick, bulldog of a man, with a belly hanging over his belt, Mickey's reddened face bore the remains of too many years of battering.

Raphael felt some grim satisfaction at the man's flattened nose and fleshy ears.

_He's almost as ugly as me…_

The two squared off, bare fisted. Raphael kept his hands lowered. They were the only part of him not concealed in black clothing, the only part of him that showed the deep green color of his skin.

Mickey moved forward, ducking and bobbing, feinting blows at Raphael's head and torso, which the turtle scarcely bothered to dodge. The man appeared to be putting a great deal of energy into acting energetic and aggressive. Raphael was not fooled. With a cool disdain, arms at his sides, Raphael let Mickey circle him, dancing and weaving.

_I'm supposed to lose the fight to this bozo? Gah_….

Raphael deflected a punch aimed at his head, and then one at his jaw. The crowd around them grew louder, cheering both fighters on, as the intensity and anger rose. Half-heartedly, Raphael threw a couple of easily evaded punches.

Mickey dodged blows that were never thrown and bobbed in closer, jabbing. He tried to move in, striking rapidly at the turtle's body and head. Raphael allowed one punch to land and the crowd roared.

Raphael grinned behind his black fabric mask. "You're pathetic," he taunted his adversary, keeping his voice low.

Raph heard his name shouted; he heard people calling to him to win, to pound Mickey into the ground, to take him out. People cheering for Raphael. The sweet sound of his own name washed over him.

Mickey jumped in and with unexpected ferocity, fired two rapid punches into Raph's face. The second one hurt.

Raphael saw red.

It happened fast. Raphael quickly half- turned away and spun suddenly back, his foot cracking into Mickey's jaw with enough force to break it.

Mickey was on the ground and Raphael pile-driving his fists into his lower spine before the referee could grab him. Raphael threw the ref off his back and onto the hood of one of the cars. The crowd howled and moved like a lopsided, wounded animal, half the men rushing forward into the ring, the other half falling over themselves trying to get out of Raphael's way as he plowed through the human wall and fled.

Mickey never got up.

Raphael tore through the twisted alleys of the darkened underworld beneath the train tacks until he found a dumpster and trash pile high enough to promise him access to the roof tops of the moldering tenement district. He scaled the wall until he found the iron security of a fire escape ladder and pulled himself to a rooftop. Raphael hunkered down low behind a gassy smelling chimney and ripped the black fabric mask from his face, panting, cursing himself and everyone else.

He sat for two hours. Long enough for low roar of the city to devour at last the angry shouts and racing engines of the fight audience three blocks away. It didn't seem that anyone had come looking for him, either, which was good.

Raphael stood and pulled his sai out from beneath his clothes. Unable to find an easily accessible hiding place in the clothing he wore, he impatiently tore off the shirt and jammed the weapons into his belt. With an angry grunt he turned and followed the rooftops back to the site of the fight under the "L" train. The very least he could do was apologize to Hi before splitting.

The place was deserted. Raphael slipped down the walls into the deep shadows of the building using a bent TV antenna and tiny footholds in the scarred brickwork. His feet hit the black dirt.

Something smelled wrong. Raphael drew his sai.

Hugging the wall he made his way to the warehouse door and kicked it open. The smell was blood. He peered inside.

Crumbled against the far wall in the dark warehouse he could see the body. He started forward and then stopped.

Hiram was dead, that was plain. From where Raphael stood, it looked like his head had been beaten in.

Raphael drew back, suddenly, inexplicably shaking.

His breath coming in shaky gulps, he turned and rushed down the alleyway, climbing to the safety of the rooftops. His chest heaved with emotion, he felt strangled, suffocated. Looking over the sooty, dark city, Raphael turned his stinging eyes eastward, toward home.

* * *

She was trying to run and she couldn't get away. Her legs dragged like she was trying to move through thickening cement.

Run! Run!

She couldn't run, her legs were leaden, slow,

It was close now; she could feel it's cold breath on her neck. Something holding her arms—it had her. She was trying to scream as it dragged her down.

On the ground she struggled against it; kicking, fighting it, futilely flailing. Cold steel hands holding her wrists down, holding her legs still. And the needle, the huge long hypodermic needle poised over her belly, her clothes ripped off, steel and glass tube, filled with a venomous purple fluid—

She tried to scream and no sound came out, something held her face, clamped her jaw shut. She felt the needle sink deep into her body, painful, aching, deep pain, going deep into the center of her, and then the purple venom, squeezed into her, aching icy cold toxin stuff, filling her inside—

She woke up, jerking upright, throwing the quilt from her, nearly shoving Rose out of bed.

Rose's eyes opened sleepily and she looked up at her mother, smiled a little and rolled over, pulling the light blanket over her.

Lia sat gasping, shaking, feeling the cool air chilling the perspiration on her skin. She flung her legs over the side of the bed, and staggering a little on sleep-numbed feet, made her way into the hall. Something fragrant and steamy drifted her way.

Belladonna stood at the great white enameled stove, cooking in the pre-dawn hours, before the sun became too warm and drove her from the kitchen. Her thick, graying braids fell down her back. She turned as Lia entered, her eyes questioning.

Lia took a deep breath. She stood with her fists at her sides, resolute.

"I want it out."

Belladonna gazed at her, piercing black eyes in a lined, brown face.

"I want it out of me now. I won't do this. He won't win like this."

The wisewoman nodded. "Sit, child."

Lia sat obediently at the kitchen table.

"You have asked for guidance?"

"I don't have to. I want it out. Now."

Belladonna pulled out a chair and sat next to her. "I can begin this now," she said slowly. "I will make the preparations, if this is what you have decided. But as I do this, I want you to go out to the woods. Speak to the Earth. Listen to Her. When you have heard Her voice, come back inside and we will begin."

Lia looked down at her hands and nodded. "Ok. I'll do that, 'Nonna. But I know what I need to do."

* * *

Under the sword lifted high,

There is hell making you tremble;

But go ahead,

And you have the land of bliss.

Leonardo gazed at the words, and then closed the book and set it aside on the grass. He leaned back against the tree, closing his eyes and feeling the warm sun on his face. He would go ahead, he would gladly go ahead, if only he knew where. He felt trapped in limbo, as though the wheel of his life had stalled out somewhere, and until something moved, he was stuck.

And somehow, for the first time in his life, he felt he couldn't turn to Splinter for advice, or even consolation. He felt that talking his sensei about his concerns, today, would seem like some kind of reproach. He didn't want to give the impression he blamed Splinter in any way for his own misery. He knew he had brought it on himself.

And Splinter had been distant as well, as though he too, was lost in his own private questioning. Of course, Raphael's absence took its toll on everyone. But to Leo it seemed something more was bothering Splinter, as though the old rat was questioning something more deeply reaching than the immediate worries of the day.

Leonardo took a deep breath, inhaling fully into his hara, and slowly exhaling. He focused on his breathing, in and out, tuning his attention inward. Slowly he dropped into the quiet state, the deep and restful place inside himself, which today was the only place he knew peace.

His thoughts drifted, and he quieted them, gently chiding the inner dialogue to leave him be, even if only for a while, and slowly the emotional storm within him quieted as well.

He didn't know how long he was there, but something suddenly tugged at his awareness. A fear—a fear of a terrible and irreplaceable loss. A great yawning, black pit opened before him, and her face, and something being torn from him, something he could never reclaim-

He sucked in a breath and opened his eyes, jolted back to his ordinary consciousness.

What the hell was that-?

And who-?

"Raph?!"

Raphael, sitting quietly on the grass next to him, nodded.

"Wha- y-you-?"

"Yeah, Leo. Hi."

"How long have you been sitting here?"

Raphael shrugged. "Not long."

"Oh, jeez…"

Leonardo reached for his brother and they embraced.

"Damn…" muttered Raph, hugging Leo hard, his voice deepened with emotion.

"Yeah." Leo squeezed shut his eyes. He held on for a long time before drawing back. "Did you just get here?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"You talk to anyone?"

"Not yet. I needed to talk to you."

"I need to talk to _you."_

"I'm goin' first." The hint of smile played over Raphael's face.

"Ok. You go first, then," said Leo.

Raphael drew in a breath, gathering himself, and looked down at his hands, folding them. He cleared his throat. "Look, I uh…I know I was wrong. I know I shouldn't have gone off at you an' Lia. I know I shouldn't have even… I was just wrong. I…uh...I don't know why I did that. Well, I kinda do. But it doesn't matter. I know I screwed things up for you. And that was really stupid of me. I didn't mean to do that to you. Or to her. And, Leo… I'm sorry."

Leonardo opened his mouth, and for a moment nothing came out. "Raph," he began. "I accept that, but if it hadn't been for me and my…my stupid pride, none of that would've happened."

Raphael looked at him and shook his head.

"No, listen, I was wrong," said Leo. "I was wrong, Raph, and you were right. I mean, you were right about me being a hypocrite. If I could have just been honest, and not so determined to be _right_….Look, Raph. I'm sorry. I made an ass of myself. I was trying to protect my damn pride and ended up hurting everyone." Leo swallowed. "I'm sorry."

Raphael looked down. "It's ok, Leo." He ran a hand over his face. "It's ok."

"Damn." Leonardo rested his head back against the tree again.

"Yeah."

They sat for a while quietly as birds sang around them and the sun warmed the soft earth.

Leonardo gazed up at the poplar branches overhead, silvery white and green against the deep blue of the sky. "You gonna stay?" Leo asked softly.

"Phft. Yeah." Raphael looked over at him. "I got nowhere to go. Besides," he grinned. "You need me to stick around, Leo. Just to keep you honest."

* * *

Zen Poetry by N. Suzuki


	28. Chapter 28

_**The Journey Home**_

Chapter Twenty-Eight

* * *

Lia closed her eyes, blocking the brilliant dappled light of the morning sun splashing through the green canopy of trees all around her. She didn't want to do this. It didn't matter what the Spirits or the Earth Mother or **anyone** had to say. She was not going to live with any part of Alexander Skylord inside her. It didn't matter that the man was dead. She would not give him his final victory over her. This was now her body, her life.

Resisting even the sensations and fragrances of the woods, Lia bit her lip and sat rigidly still, her hands tightly clasped. Her breath was shallow, angry. It would change nothing because she had already decided. This tiny speck of life, minute particle of stardust growing in her womb, had to go. She didn't want it.

Why was Belladonna making her go through this charade? She thought her teacher had understood. Hadn't Belladonna herself suggested she end this pregnancy? Why on earth had she sent her into the woods to listen for an answer she didn't want to hear?

Lia paused in her mental tirade, her thoughts echoing in her mind. _Listen for an answer she didn't want to hear?_ That was wrong. She knew that. She had to at least listen. The decision would still be hers to make.

Lia drew in a deep breath and let her eyes go soft, exhaling slowly. She rested her head back against the moss-covered bark of the oak tree. Another deep sigh and she could feel the coolness of the bright green stuff through her thin gown. Bird songs filled the air, chittering and trilling, proclaiming their passion. She allowed herself to sink down, feeling the uneven, leaf-strewn soil under her legs, and realizing she had been shaking.

Let it go…let it go…..open to this moment….let go…open…..

She allowed herself to go deeper, felt the earth beneath her receive her, as she began to follow her breath moving in and out, clearing out her anger, leaving room for whatever else might be there. A low throbbing rhythm began to fill her ears; her own blood pumping, her own heartbeat, and it echoed in the forest around her. Her breath rose and fell, and with it, the land seemed to move as well, rising and falling, as though her breath and breath of the living earth were one.

The darkness behind her eyelids warmed to a heated red. Warmth washed over Lia's face as the rising sun, slipping through the trees, and found her. From red, the light turned golden, and from gold to a glimmering green. She found could not move. She had no will to do more than listen. In the moment she was aware she desired only to be still and listen, she became aware of the Presence of another.

Words like thoughts borne on breezes flitted through her mind, softly, softly, whispering to her.

You return...

You came to us once…

A promise made…

Your Gift to Life….

"Tell me," Lia's mind questioned. "Tell me what You would have me do…"

You asked a Favor of us

And in exchange…

"The sacrifice…"

No sacrifice.

A Gift.

A Gift you will give to

The Mother.

Do you remember?

Lia felt the movement, the rise and swell around her and within her, spinning, the Great Spiral dancing through her.

"I offered myself in exchange for him…I was told the sacrifice would be something else…"

We wish no sacrifice.

The Child you carry within you is

Your gift to the Mother.

This shall be your Gift to Us

For the Life of Your Beloved.

Your Gift you Offer to Life…

"My gift…?"

As you have promised…..

"As I promised? _This_ is what I promised you….?"

And so shall it be.

First she felt the surrender. Lia drew in a breath and surrendered her self, her body, her life, to the Greater Life.

"And so shall it be…" she whispered, acquiescing.

Then, like a wave, the emotion broke over Lia, a flood of something overwhelming. She could feel him so close, sense his presence as though his arms had suddenly enveloped her. He was there with her, for an instant. She felt the tears streaming down her face. A sob wracked through her. Just as quickly as it had come upon her, the presence was gone. Lia crumbled over, tears falling into the soft loamy earth beneath the oak tree. A longing ache, a bittersweet pain, swam through her as she lay in the warmth of the summer morning.

* * *

Rose was sitting at the kitchen table, her little chin resting on her hand, while with the other she idly rolled a strawberry around on her plate. Belladonna looked up from the bucket of hot, fresh goat milk she was straining through cheesecloth into the glass jar. In the kitchen doorway stood Lia, her hands at her sides, her face red and blotchy from crying.

Belladonna cocked her head .

"I'm keeping the baby." Lia walked past her, heading back toward her bedroom. Belladonna finished pouring the milk and capped it, set it in the icebox, and followed Lia.

She sat on the edge of her bed, gazing into the far corner of the room. The older woman sat beside her quietly, and waited for her to speak.

Lia let out a shuddering sigh. She bit her lip and moved uneasily on the bed, readjusting. "They told me I…um… that I had promised them a gift. I promised a gift in exchange for his life. And this was it, this baby. So I'm going to have this baby. This is what they wanted from me."

Belladonna slipped an arm around Lia's slender shoulders.

Lia laid her hand over hers. "And I'll be ok, Nonna. I'll be fine. I can deal with this."

"You have done the right thing, child. You listened for the true answer, and you have heard it."

Lia nodded and swallowed. They sat silently for some time and Rose wandered into the room, climbing into Lia's lap. Lia hugged her child in her arms and rested her cheek against the pale blond hair.

"Will you tell me about him now?" asked Belladonna softly.

"About…?"

"The one who was with you the night you came home. This one whose life you have bargained for."

"No…"

Belladonna inclined her head, questioning.

"I can't. I promised…not to tell anyone about them."

The Wisewoman waited.

"I mean, I know you sort of already know. You knew someone would be there, in New York, when I went to find them…but I'm not supposed to…." Lia squeezed closed her eyes. "I promised him I would tell no one…."

"I understand."

They sat quietly for a moment. Lia sighed.

"He's coming back for me."

"He is coming back here?"

Lia nodded.

"Did he say when?"

"He said…" Lia stroked Rose's hair. "He said he'd come back within the month. When he got things straightened out."

Belladonna frowned. "I am glad you told me. And when he returns, what then?"

"I don't know. I guess I could go back with him or we could go somewhere else…I guess it depends upon what happens with his family. If he gets the problems straightened out."

'There is a conflict…?'

"Over me." Lia's voice wavered and dropped to a whisper. "It was my fault." She hugged Rose who sat curled in her lap. A tear slid down her cheek. "I just want him to come back. I just want to be with him."

Rose lifted her head and looked up at her mother. "He will come back, Mommy. Yeo will come back."

Lia brushed Rose's wavy hair and kissed her forehead.

"Lia, you know that if -" Belladonna caught herself. "Whenhe returns, you are both welcome to remain here."

Lia glanced quickly over at her teacher's face. "I know. I knew that you would say that. I just don't know what's going to happen. And now I have this-" she gestured to her body.

"Do you think he would be angry with you because of the that?"

"No—no—he would never. No. I know he wouldn't. He knows what happened. He was there."

"Then…"

"I just miss him-" Lia whispered. "I just miss him so much." She turned her face to Belladonna who gently wrapped her into a sheltering embrace. "And I'm scared of what might happen…"

"Sh sh, child. The baby makes your emotions run high. If he told you that he would return, I would believe in that. Scarcely three weeks have passed. Sometimes we must be patient."

Lia sat up and wiping her eyes and nodding. "I know…"

"I'n not a baby," said Rose.

"A baby? Oh, no. Not you, sweetie," Lia explained. "Another baby. A baby in here." She took Rose's hand and laid it on her belly.

"Dere's a baby in dere?" asked Rose, incredulous.

"Mh hm. You're going to have a little…brother?" Lia looked at Belladonna.

The older woman nodded.

"How is he gonn' get out?" asked Rose.

"He'll come out when he's ready," smiled Lia. "A long time from now. Lot's of days and days."

"Lots of days…" said Rose pushing her hand against Lia's stomach again. "And days…Tomorrow?"

Lia smiled again. "No. Longer and more days than that."

Neither Rose nor Lia saw the frown of concern pass over Belladonna's dark features. "A long time from now, Rose. You will see," she said softly.

* * *

Doctor Emmerson sat back. He pulled off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. It seemed these days that he was always exhausted. The work was productive. The mapping of the genetics in this sample he had been working on almost non-stop was providing him with fascinating results.

He was very pleased with the reports coming from Northern California. The sightings now confirmed that these creatures, that were now the focus of his life's work, could probably be located. He had heard that the investigation in Massachusetts had been called off. It seemed to him that both locales should continue to be watched, but he knew that the budget might limit how many people they could send into the field. The important thing was that the field investigators felt they had tracked the creatures, and possibly their human companions, to a specific area, and that was good news.

The only down side was this unnerving sense that something was driving him. Some irrational desire to keep going, and keep working long into the night, kept him from his bed.

Maybe I'm just getting old. This research could be my one shot at the Nobel Prize. Maybe that's why I'm feeling under such pressure.

He shut down the laptop and glanced over at his daughter, sleeping on the small cot in his office. He smiled in spite of himself.

_Even at 21 they look so sweet when they're sleeping. Almost like when she was two_.

He had been furious at her at first when she had shown up at their new Nevada home, pregnant, and without that rotten kid that had gotten her in that state. But when the officials had permitted her to come to the facility and work with him as his assistant he had lost his anger. He had wondered at that decision, since even his wife had not been allowed to visit him there, on site. But it wasn't really that important why. The important thing was that Cryssie was there with him, doing the kind of work she loved, and that their relationship was on the mend.

He stood up and leaned over, kissing her on the forehead.

"Goodnight sweetheart," he whispered. "I'll see you in the morning."

Cryssie mumbled something in her sleep and rolled over.

Dr. Emmerson left his office and made his way to his own small personal quarters, unaware of the tall, dark figure that slipped into the office after him.

N stood over the bed where Cryssie slept and smiled to himself. He crouched down on his haunches and laid a hand on her belly.

"Welcome back, old friend," whispered N. "I'll be seeing you soon."

* * *

Gabrielle shut off the motor and climbed out of her Jeep. The wind whipping up from the steep canyon below lifted her long hair. She held it back with one hand and gazed out over the ragged purple peaks of the Rocky Mountains. Her other hand moved unconsciously to her abdomen.

"I think we're safe now, baby," she whispered as the wind nearly tore the words from her mouth. "I think we've found a safe place now to stop running."

* * *

"So why'd everyone come back here, anyway?" asked Raphael. His feet were propped against the kitchen table as he tilted back in the straight-back chair.

"'Cause you said you were coming back here," answered Mike. "Duh."

Splinter turned his nose toward Raphael. "It seemed to be the only place we had any hope of reuniting with you, Raphael. Once we began traveling again there was little chance of crossing paths."

Raphael hissed and grinned, looking pleased. "Yeah, but after what happened here when Leo and me were here last, you know with those weird scientist or whatever guys, it seems kinda, I dunno, stupid." He looked quickly at his sensei. "No offense, Splinter."

"None taken, my son. I am too pleased by your return to correct your lack of tact today."

"Yeah, well, you came back here, too, Brainchild," observed Casey, swatting Raphael lightly on the head with an envelope. He stood behind them, leaning against the sink. "Anyway, this is my house. No way I'm gonna let some geeky scientists run me outta my own house."

Raphael frowned. "What about April? I thought she was the one that didn't want us here 'cause she didn't want the place gettin' trashed."

"That was when we thought it was the Foot after us," said Don. "And according to Sean, who called yesterday from Lucas' mom's place, they're long gone. When they couldn't find Lucas, I guess they split. That was over a month ago."

"Where is Lucas?" asked Leo, looking up.

"His mom didn't know. Sean was hoping he was alive and had gone back home as well," said Don. "But no one has heard from him."

"You killed him, Leo, remember?" said Raphael.

"No. I don't think so. That wasn't a killing stroke…." Leo shook his head, studying the spoon he had been twirling.

"Anyway," Raphael shrugged. "So April is ok now with all of us being here again?"

"Actually, April hasn't been here much herself," said Mike.

"Yeah, well." Casey abruptly pushed away from the counter and stretched. "I'm gonna go out and see about that carburetor." Casey stomped out the back door, the screen slamming behind him.

"What's with him?" asked Raphael.

Mike widened his eyes as if to say 'who knows?'

"Things have been a little strained around here lately," offered Don.

In the awkward quiet that followed Leonardo looked at Raphael and cleared his throat. "It's good to have you back, brother. I can't tell you how good it is. And how bad I've felt while you were gone."

"Forget it about it, Leo. We already talked, right?"

"Right. But I just want you to know that."

"I know, Leo. I know."

Leonardo glanced down for a moment, gathering himself, and then looked over at Splinter. "Master, I'd like to talk to you about something."

Splinter lifted his head. "I do not believe this is a good time, Leonardo." The rat slid off the chair and stepped back. "I am going into the woods to meditate." He turned and followed Casey out the door.

Leonardo blinked, staring after him. Don cleared his throat, and Mike thrummed his fingers on the table.

"Hey, you know what?" Raphael broke the silence. "I'm gonna go catch some tube. Feels like years since I've seen any news."

"Good idea," agreed Mike shoving back his chair. After a moment both Don and Leo followed them into the living room.

The morning news program was showing footage of the streets of New York City; taxis and busses and masses of people hurrying through the shadowed streets beneath the towering buildings. The voice over explained what the screen didn't show:

"And in what seems to be another random act of senseless violence, the bodies of four young Asian men were found in an alleyway in Manhattan's Lower East Side this morning."

The four turtles exchanged glances.

"That's the fourth one this month," said Don.

"Do they ever show the bodies?" asked Raphael.

Leo shook his head. "I don't think they have to. We know who this is, don't we?"

Don shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not. And even if it is the Foot, what are they doing this for?"

"What does the Foot ever do anything for?" asked Raphael.

"But there's no leadership," said Mike. "We saw, just last month, how messed up they are without the Shredder there to lead them. I don't think they could find their own hoods with both hands."

"Well, someone is doing this!" Raph crossed his arms, gazing at the screen. He took a step back and flopped onto the couch.

Leonardo stood and watched the screen for a long time, long after the news had moved on and three commercials had come and gone. "I have a bad feeling about this," he said at last.

"Great. Another bad feeling."

"No, I'm serious. I don't want to do this. I mean, I _really_ don't want to do this. But we're responsible for what is going on there. I'm thinking we may have to go back."

"Leo!"

"Mike, you have no idea how little, right now, I want to go back to New York."

"But…?"

"But we have a responsibility we may have to face. Mike, Don, I know I've been distracted and distant recently. But now, with Raph back, I think it's time to take action."

Cross-legged on the floor, Donatello looked up at him. "You're probably right Leo, much as I hate to say it, too"

Leonardo turned and walked out of the living room, Mike on his heels. He caught him by the arm at the foot of the stairs.

"What about Lia?" Mike whispered.

"Mike, I- " Leonardo gestured helplessly. "I can't go get her and bring her here now. Not if we're going to have to go back to New York. She can't go there and anyway, I wouldn't want to expose her to the danger. And I don't want to leave her here with all this weirdness between April and Casey. Plus whatever Splinter seems to be going through right now…" Leo looked down. "I don't know what else to do."

"You can't call her, huh?"

"No phone. I'd have called her weeks ago." Leo sighed. "Mike, I just have to trust that she trusts me. It may take a little longer than I'd originally thought, but she'll understand."

"You believe that?"

"I don't have a choice. The important thing right now is that she's somewhere safe. There will be time later to explain."

* * *

Belladonna stood on the back porch and gazed into the woods, her eyes following the steep slopes where the trees became unformed shadows in the moonless night.

Someone was out there. She had felt it for several days now. An uneasy, pervasive sense that there was someone out there, hidden in the trees, watching them.

It was not an animal. It was most certainly a man, or men. But behind it, somewhere beneath the obvious, she could sense a malevolence darker than anything she had ever felt.

Belladonna shuddered and turned back into the warm light of the cabin. Whatever it was, it would reveal itself. She would have to trust that Spirit would protect her young family, and guide her to take the proper action.


	29. Chapter 29

_**The Journey Home**_

**Chapter Twenty-Nine**

* * *

He gazed at his brother's profile silhouetted darkly against the sooty red of the evening sky. He found himself once again wanting to explain what he saw. The set of Leo's jaw, the solid permanency of the geometric skyscrapers behind him. He wanted to write the words. Or paint the colors. Somehow tell the story, even if no one would ever read it.

It was strange being back in the city. Everything was strange. The sadness that had struck him, when everything fell suddenly apart, and their lives had seemed to shatter like so much glass, had almost abated. But it returned to haunt him in quiet moments like this.

It seemed to have begun with April. April's discontent with her life seem had escalated in those two months since their return to Northampton. It was discontent, yes, but something else, too, like a pervasive melancholy, that could be felt by each of them like a cloud over the house. Then she had finally gotten a hold of her sister and with a vague explanation about needing to get away and find her life again, she had packed up and headed back to California.

They had all watched Casey come slowly unglued since that incident in Springfield. Something in Casey Jones' bluster and bravado had begun to falter after the accidental death of that kid. It wasn't his fault, everyone wanted to believe that, but the young man had died at his hands. And it affected him in ways he had no way to verbalize.

April leaving was the final blow. Casey had thrown a few things into his car and roared off to who-knows-where.

When the four of them had first approached Splinter with their concerns about what was happening on the streets of New York, their sensei's response had been utterly confusing. "I agree with you that these events warrant our attention. It seems likely that indeed our activities have helped to create this situation. However, I will not be accompanying you." Without further explanation, Splinter had stood and walked out the door, into the woods where he seemed lately to be spending all his time.

Casey and April were gone. Splinter was distracted and emotionally distant. The feeling was one of being abandoned by those who had been closest to them. The four turtles boarded up the farmhouse and left for New York City to face whatever consequences their actions had wrought there.

Michaelangelo gazed at Leo's face where he sat not ten feet from him on the rooftop. His brother's narrowed eyes surveyed the darkening streets below them, focused, directed, and Mike found himself inexplicably annoyed at Leo and his flawless concentration. He frowned to himself and wondered why he felt that way.

Mike hadn't spent a lot of time dwelling on the recent upsetting events. He knew, he just knew, that everything would work out. Never one to focus long on the negatives in life, Mike was not about to allow himself to grow morose or brood about what had happened with April and Casey. He was sad, but would keep the faith. Raph had come back home. Casey had had his moody moments in the past, and he knew their connection to April was unbreakable. He couldn't say exactly how it would work out, but he was sure it would. People who love each other come back to each other—

That was it. That was the thing that was bothering him. It was Leo's quiet acceptance of the events that had prevented him from returning to California. If it was me, thought Mike, and I had left behind a girl that loved me like that, I'd be going out of my mind now.

That's funny. It's almost like missing April and Casey, or even Splinter, is not what's bothering me the most. Here we are, all alone, not knowing what the heck we're doing really, chasing clues we can't figure out, and what's really bothering me is Leo's maddening refusal to fall apart.

* * *

The milk had curdled. Belladonna stared at the jar on the kitchen table, hoping some kind of clarity would emerge from the lumpy white fluid. This was a bad sign, but what it meant, and why it felt so ominous, she could not say.

Belladonna turned and opened the large oak cabinet that stood in the kitchen, taking up almost as much room as the great white enameled stove. Inside were jars and crocks of herbs and potions, teas and other concoctions. She reached for the top shelf, above her head, and found the soft leather sheath. She pulled it down and opened it, revealing the gleam of a pure silver dagger. She softly stroked the handle, carved with runes and signs, and closed her eyes, considering an appropriate divination.

She needed to know. She stood silently for several minutes, listening for sounds beyond the human ear.

The air was already heating up. It was going to be another hot and sultry Indian Summer day, with the threat of thunderstorms floating in the air. And something else. Again there was that sense of something very wrong, of some dark threat that had been flickering around Belladonna's awareness. Part of it was the eerie feeling of being watched which had hung in the forest shadows for over a month now. She had yet to say anything about it yet, her concern for Lia's emotional state giving her pause.

Lia seemed for now to be bearing up well under the stress. Still Nonna could tell there was much the girl was not sharing with her. Lia was-

Lia? Belladonna lifted her head. Where was she anyway? She held her breath, listening. A sound- ?

Belladonna turned and went out quickly out the back door into the first rays of the morning sun. Her heart thudding with sudden dread, she stood still as a woodland deer, listening. The sound she had heard rose up again, a wailing moan, a human voice, but strange; uncanny.

Down the path she followed the noise, past the great oak, across the open grassy area adjacent to the garden, where she could see Lia, sitting beneath a smaller tree, leaning awkwardly to one side, in the grass. In her hand she held the small butcher knife with which she had cut off thick, jagged chunks of her hair and slashed at her arms. She swayed back and forth, crying and bleeding amid the red- gold ruins of her hair, and the deeper red of her blood.

Moving with the speed and agility of a much younger woman, Belladonna rushed forward. She snatched Lia up in her arms and then fell into the grass with her. She grabbed for the knife, trying to wrest it from Lia's hands.

Lia clung to the blade's handle.

"He's not coming back! He's never coming back!" she sobbed wildly.

Nonna spun Lia around to face her and gazed into Lia's tear- and blood-streaked face.

"They always leave me! Why does everyone leave me?" Lia cried.

The Wisewoman jerked the knife free and flung it aside. Lia raised her hands helplessly, her eyes desperate, past all reason, crying uncontrollably. Nonna pulled her into her arms and held her tightly. As Lia's sobbing slowly subsided, the two women began rocking slowly back and forth, embracing. Deep in her throat, Belladonna softly hummed a tuneless, sing-song chant, her voice rising and falling gently to the rhythm of their rocking.

* * *

"Hello there, Sean. Long time no see." The burly man turned away from the cutting board where he was chopping onions and faced the boy who hovered in the doorway.

"Yeah, " said Sean, leaning in closer, sniffing the warm scents of food.

"Where you been, boy?"

Sean wiped his nose with the back of his shirtsleeve. "California. With some friends."

Stewpot's grizzled and fierce-looking face split into one of his easy smiles.

"You hungry?"

"Yeah."

The man gestured to one of the tables and Sean all but fell over his own feet hurrying to sit down. Stewpot tore a chunk of bread off a thick-crusted loaf and gobbed some butter on it. Then he spooned a bowl of hot cereal into a bowl and brought both over to the table and sat.

Sean fell to eating like ravenous wolf cub.

When the boy was done and had gulped down two tall glasses of milk, Stewpot gestured with his head, asking a question with his body before voicing it.

Sean swallowed and looked up into the dark brown eyes, tinged now with a gentle sorrow.

"You know about Sunni, Sean?"

"Yeah."

"I figured you might have heard."

Sean looked down. He knew more about that than he wanted to say.

"We're all going to miss that girl. She was one good soul."

Sean nodded, eyes down. "I lost two friends. Her and Jake."

"That boy you were with here last spring?"

"Mh hm. Only his name was really Lucas."

"I'm sorry."

Sean shrugged and looked out the window. "Shit happens."

Stewpot shook his head. "No, I don't think it's like that. I think there's a reason for what we see happen to people. We just can't understand it."

Sean shrugged again.

"The good Lord knows why," went on Stewpot, his gaze now wandering to the dirty streets outside his kitchen. "I asked Him once, you know. I asked him, 'Why Lord? Why all this suffering?' You know what He told me?"

"Uh uh."

"He said, so folks can do what good they can for each other."

Sean looked at him, a funny, disbelieving smile on his face.

"God said that to you?"

Stewpot grinned. "Well, actually, I can't say exactly what God said to me. But that's what I took His meaning to be."

Sean smiled a little. "So you need any help around here today?"

"Boy, I can use all the help I can get."

"Cool," said Sean.

* * *

Lucas Takimoto gazed up from beneath his black, dripping hair at the three men standing over him. He snorted in a gulp of air, trying to catch his breath. Sweat ran in his eyes and he wiped his face with the back of his hand.

"You understand what we want from you?" the biggest of the three asked again. He moved the heavy black truncheon from his left to his right hand.

Lucas nodded painfully, breathing too hard to speak.

"If you fail, you know we will find you."

"They'll kill me first," gulped Takimoto. "I can try, but it won't matter…"

"Do better than try," the second man said.

The third squatted down to look Lucas in the face and Lucas involuntarily cowered away from him.

"You hate them as much as we do. They killed your father. We've given you information that will lead the Foot to that traitor of a girl, the murderer of our beloved Teacher, and your father's murderer. Think of this not as a demand we place on you, but an opportunity. We have told you exactly how to get to that cabin in California where she lives with the old woman. We know those creatures must be with her. It's up to you to take that information to the Foot."

Takimoto shook his head again. "I can try. But I know they'll kill me before I have a chance to tell them where she is. They've wanted me dead for months now."

The man with the truncheon grabbed Takimoto's hair, jerking his head up. "Don't be so negative," he growled. "You fail at this and you know we will find you, wherever you run. You succeed, and the score will be settled for all of us."

Lucas nodded, eyes averted. A vow he had made, on his own blood, and his father's, careened through his mind, crashing into the walls of the impossible trap he found himself in: "I do now forsake all loyalty to the Foot Clan, and instead, vow absolute loyalty to you four for as long as I live. And this I swear by my ancestors, and by my own blood."

* * *

"I'm familiar, of course, with a combination of Ketamine and Xylazine as an anesthetic cocktail. It's been also used to tranquilize wild animals by dart injection." Dr. Emmerson poked at his salad distastefully with his fork. He didn't feel much like eating now. His companion's cigarette smoke wafted around them both, and had neatly cut his appetite. Not that the cafeteria food was very appetizing in the first place. He wondered why there wasn't some rule against smoking in DARPA's only eating facility, but in the same moment realized that it wouldn't have mattered even if there were such a rule. It seemed the enigmatic N could get away with whatever he wanted.

"That is what was used to capture a specimen in our previous attempt, was it not?" asked N.

"Yes."

"It proved to be not terribly effective." N's dark glasses reflected back the glare of the fluorescent lights overhead.

"That's hard to say," said Emmerson. "We don't know how deep the penetration was. Only that it drew blood."

"And for that we are grateful," smiled N.

"Hear- hear," agreed the doctor and fought down a wave of nausea. He set his fork down and pushed the plate away, giving up

on trying to eat anything once again. "You know that Ketamine has hallucinogenic properties."

"Really?" said N, with interest.

"Yes, in fact, it has become a popular street drug in some places. Xylazine decreases the convulsive effects of Ketamine. It acts as a muscle relaxant. Both of these drugs have anesthetic effects." If he kept talking he seemed to feel better.

"What about Carfentanil?"

"That drug has about 8000 times the sedative potency of morphine. And yes, it has been used to immobilize large animals by dart injection. Its popularity seems to stem, in part, from having an effective antidote."

N. cocked his head.

"The problem with it," Emmerson explained, "is that the drug dose and response effects vary considerably across species, and the effects are not always predictable. The amount of Carfentanil needed to immobilize a moose would probably kill a human."

"We needn't worry about that. Our targets are not human."

"Well, the physiology and body mass appear so similar, I would hesitate to use Carfentanil in this case simply because we really do not know what the effects would be. We don't know exactly what we are dealing with yet—how much is reptilian, and how much is human."

N drew in a long drag from his cigarette. "Indeed." He nodded slowly. "That is the question, isn't it?" N gazed around the sterile white of the cafeteria, the scattered employees sitting at the long, gray Formica tables. "Time is passing, Steve. It will be winter before we know it. When we make our move, we must act quickly, and we must succeed. Another failed attempt will only drive them further underground. Perhaps irretrievably."

"Irretrievably?" questioned Emmerson.

"Yes. So when the time comes, I will go personally with the research team." N. smiled.

A thin, cruel smile, Dr. Emmerson noted with a sudden chill.

"Yes," said N. "Call me a perfectionist, but I truly want this to be done right."

* * *

Lia stood at the broken gate, gazing eastward. In her hands she clutched a small package, wrapped in coarse twine. The wind rose and fell, coming in from first the south, and then the west, picking up the uneven, jagged strands of her hair, biting through the knit sweater she wore. She watched the distant mountain peaks that lay on the far side of the deep valley below her. Dark clouds were gathering, building up their own immense, black mountains of moisture and electricity.

The storm was coming in quickly.

Lia climbed over the fallen two- by- fours that had once marked someone's pasture, their white paint chipped and faded. She moved toward the edge of the steep drop, the wind full in her face, narrowing her eyes. Vertigo swept over her as she gazed down. Broken boulders and twisted, leafless branches clung to the sheer cliff, rattling in the wind. She closed her eyes.

_I cannot live like this. This is driving mad. I must end this now._

_I can't keep blindly hoping. I can't live my life waiting. I can't stay in limbo, waiting for when you come back so my life can start again. If you were here, you'd understand. You'd probably even agree with me._

Tears threatened and she blinked them back.

_I know I will never love anyone else again. This I can promise you. There will never be anyone else. Ever._

_ But living like this—I can't do it anymore. _

_For my own sanity, I have to let go._

_I have to release you…_

Lia lifted the small package in both hands and tossed it high into the air, out over the cliff. She didn't watch where it fell, but squeezed shut her eyes.

_Goodbye, Leo._

Turning quickly, Lia made her way down the other way, the tall dry grasses whipping with the wind at her heels.

* * *

The brutal downpour had sent even the denizens of the darkest alleys scurrying for cover. The first rains, tasting of the coming chill, and begun with a vengeance.

Soaked through to the skin, Lucas Takimoto darted across the glistening black street, squeaky tennis shoes splashing in the puddles. The rain pelted through the glow of the street lights, and scattered the rising steam.

Huddled against the brick wall, Lucas stopped at the door, his breath coming in uneven, wheezing gasps. For a moment he almost saw the humor in his own fear. He had been so close to dying so many times in the past year, putting himself through all the terror again seemed like a waste of energy. Lucas closed his eyes, wished to hell he knew more Japanese, and shoved away from the wall. He hurriedly mounted the stairs and once under the overhang, knocked on the door.

The door opened quickly, and a short, older, Asian man in plain clothes met Lucas. The man stared at him wordlessly, waiting.

Lucas swallowed. "I—I have come to talk to- I have information- for – for the Shredder Elite Guard. About the enemy. I…"

Someone grabbed Lucas from behind and another set of hands jerked him inside the door. His arm was locked around another's, his wrist folded painfully down and he was hustled into the house.

Lucas was thrown roughly to the floor of a small, dark parlor. He looked up at the men surrounding him, dressed in their heavily padded, black Ninja dogis and wide-brimmed hats of Shredder's Elite Guard.

Dressed exactly as his father had been the last day he saw him alive.

"Donata wa desu ka?" demanded one of the three Elite.

On his knees before the three imposing men, Lucas swallowed and struggled to remember the politest way to tell them who he

was. "Watashi wa…ah…watakushi no myooji wa Takimoto.

"Takimoto Hiroshiyama? Musuko wa desu?"

"Ee….hai…ah. I'm sorry, ah…sumimasen. My Japanese is so bad. Yes, I am the son of Takimoto Hiroshiyama. I am musako-

his son. Yes." Lucas kept his eyes down, terrified as the three men spoke together, so rapidly he couldn't understand.

One of them stepped forward, towering over him and appearing immensely taller and imposing. "You are the son of Takimoto Hiroshiyama, who was killed by the demon kappa?"

"Yes, yes," gulped Lucas, grateful beyond words that one of the three spoke English. "I have information—about the kappa."

"Tell us."

"I can tell you where they are. I can tell you exactly how to find them."

One of the Elite glanced over at the other two. "Ano hito no iu koto wa detaname de shin'yoo dekimasen." He drew the katana from the sheath at his hip.

Lucas understood only that the man had said he couldn't be trusted. And he knew this time he was going to die.

"They've gone to Mexico," he said and closed his eyes, waiting for the blade.

Nothing happened. Lucas stole a glance up at the three Elite Guards who stood staring at him.

"Who told you this?" asked the one who spoke English.

Lucas licked his lips. "The Brotherhood. The kappa killed their leader. They want revenge. They were hoping the Foot also would want it, still. I was their prisoner but they turned me loose to tell you."

To Lucas' utter astonishment the three Elite Guards burst out laughing.

"Those gaijin are such fools," said the English speaker. "That only proves it. First the Brotherhood tries to get Yurikiki's dolts to

help them, and that ends in disaster. Now we hear the kappa have killed that Great White Ego who led them. Serves them right. And now they send you on a mission with the wrong information."

"The kappa are here, in New York," explained the Guard. "And they soon will be dead, once we finish exterminating the vermin who infest the remains of the Foot. We are honor-bound to slay the murderer of Oroku Saki, the Shredder. Destroy him, the other kappa, and all those close to him."

"All those close to him?" asked Lucas weakly.

"We have some information. There was a girl. She helped them escape the night the Foot failed to kill the kappa when they were right in their hands. You may have heard of this?"

His head now spinning, Lucas opened his mouth and croaked out a sound. "Ah…no…uh, a girl?"

"Rumors spread like wildfire now among the various factions of the Foot. But if what we have heard is true, that some sort of friendship, or something more, existed between this girl and the kappa, she dies."

Lucas gulped and nodded.

The Guard's eyes glittered between the silvery mask that covered most of his face. "Takimoto-san, son of Takimoto Hiroyashima, we are not like those weak and foolish Foot who brought you into the service of Yurikiki. We are the Shredder Elite Guard. We serve none but the Shredder. Your father was one of us. In honor of his memory we offer you our hospitality."

It was too much for Lucas. Too many times he knew he was going to be killed, too many times some strange fateful turn of events snatched him from the jaws of death just when he had given up the idea of survival. Exhausted and half-starved, Lucas Takimoto fell over in a dead faint.

* * *

Belladonna took the yarn and needles from Lia's hands again.

"Like this, you see? When you reach the end of a chain you have to turn it under...there."

Lia sighed and nodded without much enthusiasm.

"You are tired."

"Its late, isn't it, Nonna?"

The dimming fire hissed in the fireplace as the last log crumbled in upon itself. The stillness of the night closed in on them, sitting together in the small circle of light and warmth.

"It's so quiet," said Lia. "Is it snowing?"

Belladonna lifted her head, as though smelling the air. "Hm."

"Feels cold." Lia pulled the shawl closer around her shoulders.

Dropping the knitting in Lia's lap, Belladonna stood and went to the window. Outside great white flakes danced lazily down from the black sky all around.

She could feel it out there. Whatever it was, in six months it had not left. It lingered out there still, dark, darker than the night sky. Watching. She turned and sat back down on the downy pillows of the makeshift couch. Lia was staring emptily into space, something she had been doing with increasing frequency over these long months. After a moment Lia sighed deeply and gazed down at her swollen abdomen.

"Baby's kicking," she said softly.

Nona laid her hand on her belly. "He grows restless."

Lia nodded and then averted her eyes quickly, though it was pointless to try and hide anything from Nonna.

But the old woman was looking down intently at Lia's belly, her hand resting gently upon her. She frowned a little, cocked her head and then closed her eyes, opening to her other senses. She breathed in deeply, and exhaled slowly.

"This child…." said Nonna choosing her words with care. "This child is….unusual."

Lia looked at her quickly. "How?"

"He is…. a clear soul. He does not have the weight of the father's deed upon him."

Lia swallowed. "What do you mean? You mean how Alex—how this baby was conceived?"

"Yes. I do not feel that…fear…trauma. 'Trauma' is the word I want. He does not bear that pain."

"I'm glad. I would much rather have to carry that myself, than him. He did nothing wrong." Lia stroked her belly protectively.

Nonna shook her head. "There is something more, that I have wished to tell you for sometime. I do not feel that man, Alex...here." She gently touched Lia again. "I know what he feels like. I could feel his presence when you carried Rose. His energy was very strong. I do not feel that with this child." Nonna looked at her pointedly, the obvious question hanging in the stillness of the quiet cabin.

Lia turned her head away. "No. No. That's not possible. That cannot be."

"If you say it cannot be then it cannot be." Nonna shrugged.

"It's probably just because Alex is dead. Dead men may not have a lot of influence on their unborn children." Tears stung her eyes. Lia stood up. "I'm sorry. I just can't—I can't hope for anything anymore. Hope hurts too much. I can't-" Lia brought her hand to her face.

"Then you say that it is possible?"

"No. It's not possible. And I can't tell you why. But you'll have to believe me—it can't have happened." Lia started to say more, gestured helplessly and then fled the room, back into her bedroom where Rose already lay sleeping, bundled under the quilts.

Belladonna sat quietly for a long while, watching the embers die in the fireplace, feeling a sense of wonder and awe. Whether the child of Alexander Skylord's or not, this child that Lia carried was very different. Something with which she knew she was not familiar, but which felt powerful. Powerful and new.

* * *

Looking like a short white bear, the snow-covered figure swung off the peaked roof in through the broken window of the

dormer. He paused at the sill, shook the snow off and spread the woolen blanket over the back of a folding chair by the small electric heater.

"Snowing?" asked Mike, straight faced.

"Like a mother," grunted Leonardo. "Raph still out?"

"Mh hm."

Leonardo moved to the warmth of the heater, sinking down onto his haunches and rubbing his hands together. "Feel sluggish when it gets this cold."

"Maybe next year we should try hibernation instead of – uh-instead of whatever it is we're doing here."

Leo shook his head. "If it works like it's supposed to, we may have our first shot ever at living in peace."

"You mean if we can trust what we've been told. If we join with the Japanese Foot long enough to kill of the last of the Shredder Elite -"

Leo closed his eyes. "Imagine the threat of the Foot gone from our lives forever. Imagine that kind of safety. Not just for us. For April and Casey…"

"Raph still thinks you jumped the gun."

Leo shrugged. "Raph's gonna think what Raph's gonna think."

They sat in silence for a moment, both gazing into the red glow of the heater.

Eventually Leo cleared his throat. "Mike, you remember that song…? Lia sang it a couple of times. It was like: 'I have come to doubt something -something that I once held as true. I stand alone without beliefs. The only truth I know is'...what?"

"You. The only truth I know is 'you'."

Leonardo looked down. "Ah. Yeah. That's it."

"You know, bro, that's the first time you've mentioned her name in like eight months."

"That doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about her…"

"I don't know how you can do that, Leo. Just put her on the back burner?"

"It has to be that way. I can't be going there…now. We get through this, and…" Leonardo dropped his face into his hand. "Gah, Mike. I hope she's all right. See? I can't go there. I'll make myself crazy."

Mike watched his brother and nodded slowly. "I'm sure she's ok Leo. I'm sure she's fine."

Leo's jaw set once again. "Soon I plan to know for sure," he said.

* * *

The sun was warm, glowing softly. Wispy bits of life, tiny spring moths and pollen, like faeries, floated, dancing on the air around them. Pastel shades of new green and soft gold surrounded the two of them as they sat in the new grass, facing one another.

He took her hands and she found herself drawn in, once again, into crystalline blue...like oceans, like azure shot with crystal….

She felt his hands caress her arms, then pulling her close, holding her, his hardness, she pressed her body against his, his mouth on hers, warm….

He was drawing back, holding her face in his hands, holding her eyes with his.

_You remember…what Splinter told you…kimusubi…remember that… _

He lowered his face, down to her full round belly, and kissed it tenderly. When he raised his head his eyes were wet with tears.

_Remember…._

She drew in a breath, opened her eyes, and saw again the cold, dark walls of her bedroom; heard the peaceful breathing of her daughter sleeping next to her. Muffling her cry of despair into the pillow, Lia rolled to one side and cried softly until she fell back to sleep.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

A twinge. Small sensation drifting through her sleep. Again.

A slow shhlooooo—Fump!

Snow melting, sliding off the roof.

Lia opened one eye. Sunlight dazzled in through the window. The roof dripping … drip…drip…

Twinge. A small ache, pressure in her lower back. Familiar. Almost comforting.

Drip..drip….

Lia rolled into her back, feeling the heaviness of her body, feeling…

Twinge.

Her eyes flew open. With a sudden lightness she rolled over again and slid off the bed, grabbing her shawl, and headed into the kitchen.

Belladonna looked up at her as she entered. Lia was light, clear, bright, more alive than she had seen her in months, with the look on her face of one who has a secret. Nonna cocked her head, a soft light coming into her eyes as well.

"It has begun?"

Lia glanced around the room, a little fairy smile on her face.

"Nonna, I believe I am going to have a baby today."

**Chapter 30**

**Back to Journey Home Table of Contents**


	30. Chapter 30

_**The Journey Home**_

Chapter Thirty

* * *

"They want _what_?" Dr. Emmerson asked, his voice taking an uncharacteristic leap in volume and tone. "Who told you this?"

The younger, sandy-haired man in a white lab coat raised his hands as though to defend himself. The cold white light of the fluorescent fixtures glared off his thick glasses. "I thought everyone knew," he gulped, taking a step back. Emmerson was not a very large man, but his agitation made him look fierce. "Look, a lot of our funding comes from the Department of the Defense. You must have known that." He shoved his glasses up on his nose.

"No. No, I was never told any of that. I was hired to do research. I'm a medical doctor. It was always my understanding that the purpose of our work here was to gather knowledge to improve the human condition!"

"Well, this is - it _is_ going to do that. At least it will help our military to better defend this country…"

"Argh!" Emmerson turned away for a moment and looked down the long empty hall to his right, shining in its pristine white and silver silence. He ran a hand through his graying hair. "No. Not this. I am not working to create a death machine."

"It's not a machine, sir."

"A- _a thing_- a subhuman, killing thing. A-"

"A genetically engineered Super Soldier. Good evening, Steve."

Emmerson turned quickly. N smiled benignly at him not two feet away.

"You knew." Emmerson accused when he regained his composure. "You knew what this project was about from the start."

"Of course."

"Why was I not told? Why was I led to believe I was engaging in genetic research for the medical community?"

"Would you have come to work with us if you had known?" asked N.

"No! Certainly not."

N shrugged, a hard smile on his bland features.

The doctor's shoulders sagged. "You – everyone here- misled me deliberately."

N's blackly dark glasses gazed back at him, impassive.

"This whole operation, this research into the genetics of these humanoids, this has been your project all along, hasn't it? You've used this entire research facility as a testing ground for the military. You plan to use these creatures' bodies for military purposes."

"As our young friend here pointed out, the majority of DARPA's funding comes from the defense budget."

"You used me," said Emmerson.

"I do my best work through others. In fact," N smiled, his mouth a hard, narrow line. "My superiors forbid that I do anything myself. I can only direct and motivate others to do the actual work."

"Your superiors…?"

"My employer. If I were to actually take action myself, there would be dire consequences. I would doubtless be terminated."

"But you are going on this capture mission."

"Only as an advisor."

Emmerson took a deep breath and stood taller. "Very well. And I shall be tendering my resignation." He turned, and headed down the hall, heels clicking sharply on the linoleum tiles.

"I'm sorry, sir," said the young lab assistant. "I had no idea. I wouldn't have said anything." He glanced own the hall at Emmerson's retreating back. "So, he quit then?"

N shook his head. "He can't leave. He will find that out soon enough."

* * *

"Master?"

The old rat sat with his back to a slender aspen, facing the narrow rocky stream that cut through the woods behind the farmhouse. He turned his head slowly to his pupil who now knelt beside him.

"Master, I need to speak with you."

Splinter's features were an expressionless mask, and he said nothing, though his eyes snapped with fire.

"I know this has been acknowledged, but I need to say this. Because in these last nine months we have accomplished what we set out to do. You know that."

Splinter nodded slowly. "You four have done more than I could have ever dreamed of. Your lives are free now from the great enemy which has haunted us all these years."

"April and Casey have gone back to the city to start fixing up the new place."

Splinter nodded again.

"Donatello's leg has almost healed. He says he feels strong enough to travel."

The rat's eyes locked onto his son's. His gaze was returned unblinkingly.

"I'm going back."

"Leonardo…."

"Master, please. Don't force me to make a choice."

"I can see that you already have, my son."

Still kneeling, Leonardo lowered his head, his eyes on the sandy earth. He would not back down this time. He would gladly die for his sensei, yes. He would not give his life to him. He had said that to his brothers, months ago while they fought to end the conflict that had marked their entire lives. He meant it then, and he meant it now.

He felt Splinter's gentle hand on his head.

"Kamisama to isshu itte."

Leonardo swallowed. He had not known what to expect from his teacher, especially now, on the heels of the internal struggle it seemed Splinter had gone through. He certainly had not expected this, Splinter's blessing. Blinking back an unexpected stinging in his eyes, Leonardo kept his gaze on the ground. "Doomo…arigatoo gozaimasu."

"Perhaps it is I who should be asking your forgiveness, Leonardo."

"No," Leo began. "It was me. I know where I failed, I know where my own arrogance hurt us all-"

"Shh, my son. If your sin is arrogance, it is likely you learned this from me. I have learned in these past months that I know almost nothing of myself. This has been a humbling revelation."

"Splinter-"

"Go to her, my son. I will be waiting here for your return."

Wordlessly, Leonardo bowed low, then stood, and softly backed away.

* * *

"I will return in five days."

"That's fine, Nonna," Lia whispered. "We'll be fine." She stood very slowly, holding the small bundle in her arms as still as possible so as not to awaken him, crossed the room, and the laid him in the cradle by the crackling fireplace.

"He sleeps well now."

"Mh hm." Lia's eyes never left the tiny sleeper. She had found she could watch him for hours at a time, watch his breathing, gazing at his miniature fingers curled around the edge of the blanket, the sleeping flutter of his delicate, almost translucent eyelids. Eventually she realized Belladonna was still standing next to her, waiting. She looked up at her. "Nonna, don't worry."

The older woman's dark eyes narrowed as she too, watched the sleeping infant. "I am wondering if I should not wait."

"You said the timing was important. You wanted to gather the catkin roots now, while this moon is waxing."

Nonna nodded, turning away. "I know what I said."

Lia followed her into the kitchen. "It's been eight weeks. I have my strength back. And he is eating much better now."

Belladonna lifted her knapsack off the straight-back chair and slipped it over her shoulders. She pulled her long silver and black braids out from under the woven straps. Taking the heavy woolen shawl from the hook by the door, she pulled it around her, and reached for her gathering basket.

"Yes, daughter, you are stronger. Gabriel grows stronger everyday-"

"I'n strong, too!" Rose stood in the kitchen doorway in her flannel nightgown, tousle-headed and rubbing her eyes.

"Yes, you are, Rose." Belladonna set her basket on the wooden table and went to her. Full skirt billowing like smoke about her, she crouched down in front of the just-turned three-year old. Nonna's wise raven eyes boring into Rose's wide, blue ones. "You will help your mother with your little brother now. They both will need you while I am gone. You will do this?"

Rose nodded solemnly.

"Good. Then I will go now." She hugged Rose who wrapped her arms around Nonna's neck. Standing, Belladonna lifted her gathering basket again. She turned to Lia. "Keep Yom in the goat barn until I am out of sight. I do not want him following me."

"You should take him with you," Lia said. "We have the other two dogs here."

"Tai is too young and Mookie plays when she should be working. Yom will watch and listen and bark before those two even know someone approaches." Belladonna touched Lia's cheek. "You be aware also. You must keep your eyes open. Listen. Feel the night moons winds, and the Earth drums. Let them speak to you. Someone may still watch for you. You must watch for them."

"I know. I'm not afraid." Lia reached for her teacher and hugged her.

Belladonna withdrew and lightly kissed Lia's forehead. "Farewell," she said, her deep voice low.

"Be safe," said Lia.

Lia stood in the doorway and watched her walking evenly, gracefully, down the pathway toward the woods, a dark form gliding into the mist. Sunlight glimmered pale gold through the trees, through budding green of new growth. The morning chill touched her nose. Rose sidled up next to her, slipping her small hand into hers.

"When Nonna comin' back?" asked Rose.

"In a few days. Not too long."

"_Maybe_ too long."

Lia frowned and looked down at her daughter who was staring into the woods. "No, sweetie. Nonna will be back in five days."

"Dat's too long," said Rose with authority.

"Look, Rose." Lia held up her fingers. "One, two three, four, five."

"Leo din't come back."

Lia sighed and looked up again, out into the early spring morning. "Rose, I think something must have happened. I think he would have come back if he could." Lia ran her hand over Rose's wavy mass of blond curls. "Maybe someday we'll go look for him, hm?"

"An' he can meet Gabr'el."

Lia swallowed. "Yeah. He needs to do that."

Rose still looked up. "Where is Gabr'el?"

"Asleep in the cradle."

"Go see 'im?"

"Go ahead. Just don't wake him up."

"'Kay!" Rose turned and ran back through the kitchen.

Lia stepped back inside and closed the door softly.

* * *

The whine of the DC-3's twin engines became even as the plane leveled off and then banked to the left. The eight men onboard released their safety belts, and settled back into their seats as comfortably as they could in their bulky, camouflage combat uniforms. Three of them stood to double check their packs and parachutes stowed in the overhead racks.

"So who is that?" one of the men whispered to his seatmate. He pointed to the black haired man who sat alone at the front of the plane.

The second man shrugged. "Hell if I know."

"He gonna jump with us?"

"He's got a chute."

"Looks like CIA with those black shades."

"Hey, I don't ask."

* * *

Over the low throbbing of diesel engines idling, Raphael heard the plane overhead. He looked up into the night sky. "What the hell is that?"

Mike followed Raphael's gaze skyward. "Whoa…paratroopers…?"

"Hey Leo! Check it out." Raphael pointed upward through the tall pines that surrounded the lit-up train yard.

Leonardo looked up from where he was pulling their packs from the boxcar and squinted. Light from the nearly full moon illuminated the shapes of men beneath narrow military parachutes. He counted five dark chutes drifting down through the trees to the west.

"Probably some kinda training thing, you think?" asked Mike.

"Well, I know the military is doing combat training in all sorts of different environments now." Donatello leaned his walking stick against the side of the boxcar as he retrieved his pack. "I thought they were focusing a lot on urban combat, but I guess the mountains make a good place to train, too."

"I don't know." Leonardo hefted his pack over his shoulder. "But I don't like it." He nodded toward the sheltering trees and they set off at a swift jog, staying low. Bringing up the rear, Donatello's gait was uneven, a sort of skipping hop as he favored his injured leg.

"Don, you ok?" asked Leonardo as they stopped deep in the forest shadows, away from the yellow lights of the yard. Donatello nodded and raised a hand to dismiss the possibility he was anything but ok.

Leo watched him for a moment, wishing he could believe him "All right, we go south from here," he said. The train crew could be heard now behind them, shouting as they began moving equipment and cars through the switchyard. The low rumble of boxcars moving, high-pitched wail of diesel turbines winding up, and the scream of steel wheels on track filled the night air. The four huddled low in a circle of close-growing fir trees. "Raph, you said you found this train yard last year as you were coming from our camp. That was south east of here, I think. I came in from the other direction, when I brought Lia and Rose home. So we need to travel to the west a little, to reach the- "

"That way." Raphael pointed. "The cabin is in that direction. The going is pretty rough. There's no trail. It's maybe a two day's hike."

Leonardo turned to him, a question on his mouth. Raphael's expression was a clear request not to ask. Leo shut his jaw. In the uncomfortable empty space where Leo had not asked Raph how he knew where the cabin was, Mike asked another question.

"You gonna tell me how come you know so much about these freight trains, Raph?"

"No."

"Come on. You had this whole trip mapped out. Is that how you got back home last summer? Traveling by rail like a hobo?"

" I don't want to talk about it now."

"Someday?"

"Yeah, Mike. Maybe someday."

Leonardo's focus returned to the sky, straining to see what was no longer visible through the pine limbs amid the moon-dimmed stars.

"I know you guys get sick of hearing me say this," he said. "But I've got a bad feeling about this."

"Oh, man…" said Mike.

"We go west," said Raphael. "It starts going uphill pretty quick. We follow the ridge along southwest, then it drops into a gorge. We go down that, then up and down a few more times, and we're there."

Leonardo briefly rested a hand on Raph's shoulder. Raph turned to face him. Leo would have said 'thank you', and Raphael would have said 'it's ok', but no words were needed.

"C'mon," said Raphael. "Let's go."

After five hours of steady uphill climbing the four turtles finally crested the high ridge. Though they had kept well within the tree line most of the time, the light of the moon had aided their ascent over a broken, rocky and manzenita-choked landscape. As they paused to rest and survey the land that spread beneath them, Donatello sat and re-wrapped the ace bandage around his leg. He tried hard not to let the others see how out of breath he was.

"You ok?" asked Mike dropping down next to him.

"Yeah. Little sore, that's all."

"This isn't swelling, is it?" Mike felt Don's calf and ankle.

"No. It shouldn't be. The bone is knit. It's just a little weak."

Leonardo squatted down next to them and looked at Don's leg as well, and then questioningly into his brother's face.

"Don't worry about me, Leo. I'm not gonna slow you down."

"That's not at all what I was thinking. You want to rest a bit? I'm not worried that you'll slow us down. I'm….Don, I know you're not feeling 100% and if I didn't say it before, thank you for coming with."

"Leo. We're a team."

Leonardo gripped Don's hand and nodded, his eyes shining diamond bright in the moonlight.

Behind him, Raphael thumped Leo's shell. "Hey. Come on. There's a good spot to make camp about three more miles up ahead. Little stream runs down through it."

Moving across the high ridge top was easier. Fewer trees meant less cover but the brush was lower, and the course nearly flat. The high moon lit their path. They walked in near silence, their feet padding softly over the turf, listening to the sigh of the firs and pines around them as a light wind lifted up from the slopes below. Scarcely another half an hour of steady hiking had passed when the breezes brought another sound to their ears.

They all heard the voices at the same moment, and froze in their tracks, instinctively lowering their bodies closer to the earth. Leonardo raised a cautioning hand, and turned his head, trying to locate the direction. Michaelangelo mutely pointed ahead of them, and down the steep hill a little way. They could hear now, too, the murmur of water nearby. Slipping noiselessly down the slope they fell in single file, and crept along through the evergreens, crossing the dark hillside in the direction of the sounds, and the distinct fragrance of coffee brewing.

As they drew close they could see the bright light of lanterns dazzling through the trees. Three men sat around a small campfire looking over maps and sipping from tin cups. Their faces were painted to match their brown and green and black uniforms. Two wore knitted watch caps. A great deal of equipment lay piled next to them, including guns.

On silent Ninja feet the four turtles crept in close enough to hear clearly what was being discussed. What they heard chilled them to the bone.

"What I don't understand about this operation is if the last actual sighting of the animals here was a year ago, what are we doing here now?" one of the men was saying.

"Hendricks, you ask a lot of questions."

"We're Special Forces. We're supposed to ask questions. If they wanted to send in grunts they'd have called in the 101st battalion."

"And they'd have had a slaughter, not a specimen harvest."

The bare-headed man looked up from the topographic map he was studying. "None of you men missed the briefing, right?" he asked dryly.

"No, sir," came the quick response. "I only felt sir, that the briefing left more questions than answers."

"You'll get your answers when we rendezvous at the old woman's cabin."

Leonardo gripped Raph's shoulder and jerked his head back toward the trail. The four turtles rose up and without so much as the crunch of a dry leaf underfoot, backed away from the men and their campfire.

Far out of human earshot they looked at one another.

"That was us, right? They're talking about us. They're _hunting_us…" murmured Michaelangelo.

"Harvest," whispered Don. "They used the word _harvest." _

'They're going after the cabin," said Leonardo grimly. "But why? Unless it's just to get to us."

Raphael sucked on a tooth and squinted in the direction of the campfire. "There's three of 'em there. I say first we take those guys out."

"I saw five chutes come down. Who knows how many more there might have been," said Leonardo.

"You think they'd tell us where the other men are?" asked Don.

"I think we could convince them to," said Raph.

Leonardo nodded. "Take them down, tie them up blindfolded. Find out what the hell is going on."

"And disable all those guns while we're at it," added Donatello.

"Don, Mike, circle around right. Raph, you go-"

"I'll take left."

"Fine. I've got center."

Fanning out through the pines and firs, the four slipped into the shadows, circling the men's camp. The circle tightened as they drew up, closing in on the unsuspecting soldiers. Positioned behind each, they stood poised, ready. A soft, low whistle from Leonardo signaled the attack. Four turtles sprang forward in a sudden blur of motion onto the three men, knocking them to the dirt. One got off a shout of surprise before Mike was able to knock him nearly senseless with the butt of a chuck. Raphael gripped his man by the throat, cutting off his cries. From behind Leonardo had shoved his man's watch cap over his face and then into his mouth, gagging him. He caught the khaki legs in his own, trapping him. In less than three minutes the three men were bound and weaving dizzily where they sat in the dirt side by side, the turtles behind them, gripping their uniforms to keep them still.

Michaelangelo ripped strips of nylon from two sleeping bag sacks and tightly tied makeshift blindfolds into place. One tried to shout in a muted protest and Raphael let him feel the cold pressure of a sai at his throat. His breath was hot against the man's cheek as he whispered, "Don't do that. If you wanna be able to use your vocal chords later, don't use 'em now."

Leonardo squatted down before the one who appeared to be in charge. "We have questions," he said.

"An' we don't need that name, rank, and serial number crap," snapped Raphael.

"What we need to know," Leo went on coolly, "is how many of you are there, and what exactly do you want?"

The soldier's mouth was shut tight.

"You are going to tell us," said Leo darkly. "Where are the others?"

"Yeah, you'll tell us. Because if you don't, we start killing your men. Startin' with this guy." Raphael jerked his captive to his feet. To his credit, the man did not flinch.

Standing guard with his bo ready, Don gave Raph a wide-eyed look but Raph lightly shrugged it off.

As if shot from a canon, Michaelangelo suddenly leaped at Raphael, toppling him to the ground, and falling into the low-burning fire, scattering logs and coffee. At the same moment three sharp pings hissed through the air, ricocheting off the coffee pot and sending puffs of dirt into the air as the bullets hit the ground where Raph had just been.

Four turtles tumbled back into the forest, rolling for cover, weapons drawn and flashing in the moonlight. More shots zinged through the trees, ripping chunks off bark.

For a moment there was silence.

"Brubaker?" came a shout from the trees. "Hendricks?"

Donatello found the first of the gunmen, his location betrayed by his shout. He leaped sidelong at the man, one foot landing in the ribcage. The soldier didn't fall, but twisted toward Don, jerking his gun up to take aim. Don ripped the rifle from his hands with his bo, and then spun it sharply around to land a bone-shattering blow to the man's right shin. Even as he staggered on his broken leg, the soldier reached for his 9-millimeter. A second swift strike to the back of his head dropped him.

Another volley went off, ripping through the air, the spray of bullets whizzing close past Don. The turtle ducked and rolled. Again the night air shattered with rifle fire, splintering tree trunks. On the other side of the campfire Raphael flattened on the ground as the gunfire flew all around him and spit dirt around his head. He looked frantically around for Mike who had been next to him only a moment before.

Leonardo slipped through the trees and brush, behind the source of the shots, moving in behind the gunman. He paused for an instant, katana aloft, and then with swift, surgical precision, he sliced across the back of the soldier's knees. Screaming in pain and surprise, the man toppled from his useless legs.

Meanwhile, the first three men had untied themselves and crawled to their weapons.

"Rifles?"

"The hell with the tranquilizer darts," Brubaker barked over his shoulder. "Use the M-16's!"

"Like I said, sir," Hendricks grunted, slamming the clip into place. "I don't think that briefing gave us all the information we needed."

Lying on the ground, Brubaker leaned over reaching for the phone set, and jammed the receiver into his belt. He surveyed the area, rifle ready. Not a sound could be heard, the entire forest having been terrified into silence.

A single twig snapped. The three men opened fire into the woods, ripping through the brush with the deafening staccato of the automatic weapons.

A quarter of a mile a way, high on sheltered hillside, four turtles gazed down at the woods where a cacophony of gunfire rose and echoed off the surrounding slopes.

"Damn," said Leonardo. "I hate guns."

"Same here," said Don glumly.

"Well, we blew it." Raphael leaned against a six- foot tall rocky outcropping that hid them from the moonlight.

"Yeah, but what are we gonna do?" asked Mike. "We can't just go and kill 'em all."

Raphael shrugged.

"They'll have to get their injured men out. Two of them are not going to be able to travel. That will slow them down a little and maybe buy us some time." Leonardo finished rubbing the chamois over the blade of his katana. "What we have to do now is get to the cabin before anyone else does." He raised the weapon over his shoulder and slid it into the sheath across his back. "We have to move. Don, are you ok to travel?"

"I'm good, Leo. Don't worry."

Fatigue swept away by adrenaline, they set off, skirting now the north side of the ridge, moving steadily westward, the moon gliding along with them.

* * *

Lia drew back, rolling part way onto her back until she could feel Rose behind her, tucked up close. She pulled the soft blanket up closer around the infant next to her, and lay very still, listening. Something had woken her up, and for a change, this time it wasn't Gabriel demanding his next meal.

The dogs were barking. Lia sat up. The room was black as pitch; the moonlight that had flooded into the room hours earlier was gone. She could hear Yom's deep warning woof, followed by Mookie and Tai's higher pitched yaps.

With great care so as not to disturb children on either side of her, Lia climbed out of bed and pulled her shawl over her shoulders. She got as far as the bedroom door and heard two shots, followed by a sharp, pained yipping. Three more rapid shots followed, then one more, and then silence.

Lia stood frozen, one hand on the doorframe, her heart suddenly pounding in her chest. Slowly she backed into the bedroom again, and stood in the middle of the room, one hand covering her mouth, as though to prevent herself from crying out. Her mind tumbled over itself as she tried to think what to do. If she drew back even a corner of the heavy drapes to see outside, the movement might reveal to anyone out there that the cabin was occupied. She wondered if the fire had gone out in the front room, or if telltale smoke still drifted from the chimney. She looked quickly back at her two children; suddenly afraid they somehow wouldn't be there. They slept peacefully unaware amid the quilts. It was all Lia could do to stand still, listening, straining to hear something, over the pounding of her heart and her rapid breath.

There was a creak of someone's footfalls on the front porch. Something scraped against the wall of the bedroom, near the window.

As quietly as she could Lia gathered the long folds of her nightgown up and crept forward. She slowly closed the soft pinewood door to the bedroom, bringing the latch down silently into place. Lia looked desperately around the room: a bureau full of children's clothing, a basket full of clean diapers, two handmade rugs on the floor, a night stand with an oil lamp, a shelf full of books and notepads. There were skeins of yarn in another basket on the floor, but no knitting needles. Even her guitar was out in the front room. There was nothing, not a thing she could see that could be used as a weapon. Her mind raced through the inventory in the other rooms. There were things, but it occurred to her how useless a broom or even a carving knife would be against a gun.

A thump came from the ceiling, making her jump. She looked up and heard someone walking slowly across the roof.

Suddenly feeling icy cold, Lia took two more steps backwards and stood in the middle of the room. There was nowhere to go.

* * *

"Wait! Hold up!" Donatello called softly. The others paused in their descent down the steep ravine to look back. Donatello slid down a narrow wash carved into the hillside, sending a small landslide of gravel down the slope. Something fluttered in the breeze there. He pulled on it, untangling a length of ripped green nylon from the brush.

"What is that?" asked Leonardo.

"Parachute."

"Well, we knew there were more."

"Leo, listen!" said Mike.

Overhead the sound of a twin-engine plane grew steadily louder. Mike, Leo and Raph dropped to the ground and slid down into the wash, joining Donatello.

"Is that the same plane?" asked Leo, straining to see more than the small red light marking the aircraft as it moved across the night sky.

"Same kind," said Don. "DC-3 transport. Arguably the best airplane ever built. Over ten thousand were produced during World War II and of those, nearly half are still used today for-"

"Ok, ok." Leonardo squeezed shut his eyes, trying to be patient. "But is that the _same_ plane we saw before?"

"It's _dark_, Leo…" said Don reproachfully.

"Right. Ok. Let's keep moving. How much further do you think, Raph?"

Raphael shook his head. "Thirty, forty miles? It took me two days to get from the cabin to the railroad yard."

Leonardo said nothing, pulling himself up out of the narrow wash, he turned back to offer Don a hand.

"I went to the cabin to make sure everything was ok, Leo," Raphael said.

Leonardo looked up at him.

"They were all fine. No one saw me." Raphael paused and gazed back at his brother. "That was almost a year ago, Leo."

Leonardo sucked in a breath. He hoisted his pack further up onto one shoulder, over the ridge of this carapace. "Forty more miles?"

"Somethin' like that."

* * *

The kitchen door rattled. The footsteps heard through the ceiling crossed back again to directly over the bedroom, followed by a bump as though someone had leaped down right outside the bedroom window.

Something scraped across the window. Steel on glass, a cold scratching. Quickly, with shaking hands, Lia turned and lifted Gabriel off the bed, wrapping him in the small blue blanket, and held him against her. She slipped around to the other side and lifted Rose onto her hip with the other arm. Rose mumbled something about kitties and opened her eyes for a moment.

"Sh…Rose, hold onto me," Lia whispered. Clutching both children, she tiptoed bare footed toward the bedroom door.

The window groaned, then suddenly splintered and cracked and crashed in. Lia screamed. Something huge-looking caught in the heavy drapes and struggled to get free as it climbed through the frame. Thumping and growling it lunged toward Lia, dragging the drapes and most of the window frame behind it.

Lia tore at the door latch. She had to let Rose slide to the floor for an instant to free a hand in order to get the latch. Rose clung to Lia's long nightgown, fully awake and shrieking. Frantic, Lia jerked the door open, and grabbed Rose's hand, starting into the front room, the intruder on her heels.

Abruptly aware of the smell of smoke, Lia was met by something in the front room that might have been human, dressed in camouflage gear, a helmet, goggles and some sort of gas mask thing over its face. It held a gun mounted with a scope and bright red laser. It grunted something, raising a hand to halt Lia, but whatever it was trying to say was lost under the mask. Lia spun around and another figure dressed identically lunged at her from the kitchen door, arms raised, some kind of gun held aloft.

Cold gloved hands grabbed her arms suddenly from behind, and she tried to wrench free, clinging to Gabriel who began crying. Lia kicked and fought, screaming as another soldier reached for the tiny bundle in her arms. Violently flinging herself back, Lia knocked her captor back into the wall, sending her momentarily clear of Gabriel's attacker.

The man who held her suddenly shouted in pain, one hand releasing Lia as he tried to pull the small blond child off who had sunk her sharp little baby teeth into his thigh.

"Get this - -off me!" he growled, his voice distorted and muffled, and Lia jerked free, stumbling back toward the kitchen. The man held Rose aloft, kicking and screaming.

"We don't need that one- let her go," one of the men said clearly.

"I have my orders -" was the hoarsely shouted reply.

"Your orders have changed," said the first man calmly, and then a gunshot ripped through the cabin. Lia shrieked and saw a soldier falling and Rose scrambling the other way, running for the front door. Smoke was filling the front room.

"What the hell-?" cried the other soldier. "What are you doing?"

"Insurrection will not be tolerated," said the other.

"You're not in charge here-!"

"I am now," said the one who had fired the shot. He quickly holstered his gun and moved again toward Lia.

She ducked out of his reach, backing into the kitchen. "Rose!" she cried, trying vainly to see around him. The man lunged at her and she darted away, skirting around the huge kitchen table, inches ahead of him, keeping the table between them. With adrenaline-fired strength Lia reached up for the top shelf of the rickety old hutch and pulled the entire thing over. Pots and jars of herbs and potions came crashing down, the shelves splintering on impact, landing between her and the men.

Stymied for only an instant, the man leaped over the kitchen table and caught her by her hair, roughly grabbing Gabriel and ripping him from Lia's arms. The baby's crying became desperate hiccupping sobs. The crackling of flames in the next room grew louder as smoke began pouring into the kitchen.

"NO!" she screamed, fighting back, her fists pummeling his masked face, as he turned away.

"Get her!" he ordered the other soldier, and viciously shoved Lia back.

Lia fell against the stove, her head hitting the corner and for a moment saw stars. She blinked dizzily as everything went gray and then swam out of focus. Through the smoke and fog she could see the man who held Gabriel, set him on the kitchen table. The gas-masked face peered closely and he began unwrapping the infant's blanket. Gabriel's little arms and legs flailed in the air. She couldn't have physically heard anyone speaking softly for the all noise, but Lia heard the voice of someone gloating, someone boasting that Thanatos would prevail, would crush the plans and new hopes of the Living Earth, they would turn the new light to the dark….

Still stunned and immobilized, Lia caught sight of something gleaming amid the broken ruins of the jars and shelves. Her hand closed around Belladonna's silver dagger. She looked up at the dark figure, his hideous masked face looming just inches from the tiny pale one lying helpless on the table. In one motion Lia rose up, clutching the dagger, her arm drawn back. With a snarling cry Lia threw herself onto the attacker and plunged the dagger into the center of the man's chest.

He staggered back, falling against the table, his hands groping wildly at the embedded dagger, and then tearing at his gasmask. Lia gathered little Gabriel up in his blanket, lifting him from the table. The man jerked his mask off and collapsed to the ground, clawing at his throat and breast. Instead of blood, a thick black tarry stuff came bubbling up from the wound in his chest. He thrashed and howled, his voice gargling as more of the black slurry burbled from his mouth.

Lia stared horrified, backing into the stove, and clutching Gabriel against her. With his goggles torn off, she could see the man, or whatever he was, had two hollow, black sockets where his eyes should have been. He rolled and hissed, knocking over the chairs and butter churn, the black tar smoking as it ran into the wood floor. The man's entire body began smoking, and turning to a gelatinous black substance. His writhing slowly subsided, and as Lia watched, his body flattened, hissing and whistling as though the black tar and smoke were escaping from a balloon. The entire body became a thick, black, viscous mass, while the wood floor beneath it warped and cracked open. The crack in the floor widened and the liquefied body slithered down through it. In less than a minute there was nothing left but a dark smear on the split wood. All around her more smoke billowed. Lia tore her eyes away from the crack in the floor and looked around. Only then did she realize that the cabin was engulfed in flames.

The other soldier, having apparently recovered from the shock of what he had just witnessed, suddenly gripped her shoulders. Lia cried and jerked away. "We have to get out of here!" he shouted from behind his gasmask. A terrible creak and groan came from the front room and a flaming overhead beam crashed down amid a shower of flames and debris.

_"Rose-!"_ Lia cried.

"I'll get her- you get yourself and that baby out of here!"

The heat from the front room washed into the kitchen and the flames licked around the doorjamb.

"No!" Lia struggled as the soldier lifted her and carried her bodily out the back door away from the flaming cabin.

He set her down beyond the great oak in the back. "Stay here!" he ordered, then turned and ran back into the flaming house. Her arms around the howling Gabriel, Lia watched wide-eyed, mesmerized, as the flames rose up, devouring the cabin's walls and roof, flames pouring from the open bedroom window. Smoke billowed blackly, rolling up into the dark sky. Lia started running back toward the cabin, but the heat drove her back again.

A groaning like that of an enormous, tortured animal came from the flaming building. With a huge roar, the roof collapsed in, sending tongues of flame and sparks high into the air.

_"Rose!"_ screamed Lia.

* * *

The crack and roll of thunder echoed off the slopes, rolling back and forth as though the mountains themselves were playing ball with it. An instant later and the skies opened up, sending a sudden torrent of drenching rain down.

"Damn!" growled Raphael.

"Oh, great. Like we really need this!" grumbled Donatello.

"Stay low!" shouted Leonardo over the deafening roar of the rain.

"What, we're gonna duck under the raindrops?" asked Mike.

"No, the lightening, you goof!" shouted Raphael grabbing Mike's shoulders and herding him downhill.

"Gotta stay out from under the trees, too!" yelled Don. Miles back he had given up the pretense of not being affected by the long, fast-paced journey on foot. His gait was uneven and he limped painfully now, relying heavily on his walking stick.

"Holy Moly…" said Raphael. He pointed ahead of them, on a slope below. With the next jagged bolt of lightening a line of at least fifteen men could be seen, spread over the hillside and moving swiftly, heading south. They were clearly dressed in military uniforms and helmets, and fully armed.

Four turtles came to a halt on the hillside and stared.

"Oh, crap…."

Mike wiped the streaming rainwater from his eyes. "Well, _they_ sure picked a bad day for a picnic."

"We have to stop them," said Leo.

"Or just beat 'em to the cabin."

Leonardo shook his head. "I doubt we could get a far enough lead. And then we'd only have to fight them there. No, we need to take them out here, before they can even get to the cabin."

"You got any ideas how we're gonna do that?" asked Raphael. "I mean, we could just go down an' start pickin' 'em off…"

"We can't do that," said Donatello.

"No. We need a plan." Leonardo sank down on his heels. "And we need one real fast."

* * *

The flames rose high into the blackened sky, crowned with a billowing tower of smoke lit from beneath with an eerie red. Lia stared at it, driven back by the heat, and watched as the upper branches of the great oak tree began to burn. Still in shock, she felt too bewildered and confused to even think what she needed to do next. She shoved her hair out of her eyes with one hand and gazed around the once familiar yard, which now looked foreign and strange, illuminated with the dancing red light of the fire.

"Mommy?"

Lia turned. Rose stood next to her, her eyes red and her little mouth trembling.

"Rose! Oh god- oh!" Lia dropped down and swept Rose into her arms. On her knees she held both of her children, shaking and choking back her tears.

"Mommy," said Rose, her voice very small. "We have to bury the dogs."

"Oh-h-" Lia gulped. "I know, baby."

"Mookie's dead."

"I know, Rose, I'm sorry. We will…we will bury the dogs…"

"Dose men gone?" Rose asked.

Lia nodded.

Rose fingered Lia's nightgown as large splats of rain began falling. "I want Nonna," she said shakily.

"Nonna will be home soon, Rosie. She'll know what to do."

"We could hide inna goat barn," Rose suggested very sensibly.

Over the roar of the flames, an ear-shattering crack ripped through the air, the echo reverberating off the surrounding mountains. Lia and Rose both jumped and clung to one another, Rose's face buried in her mother's neck.

Lia looked up, her eyes wide. "What _now_?"

A raven cried from high above them in the inky black sky, her warning scream piercing the air. Someone was coming.

* * *

"Target One in range. We have visual contact, sir," the radio buzzed and crackled over the airwaves.

"Positions. C-16, report. Cracker- 16, report in."

"Sammy Unit you have green light. Repeat, Sammy you have the green light."

"It's on the move. Target One on the move, south by south east, thirteen degrees."

"Only the one still?"

"Affirmative."

"Sir, it's moving into the box canyon. Infrared reports no others present. We have it trapped in there."

"Proceed. With caution."

The phalanx of men moved down the mountain slope in the drizzly gray before dawn. They carried tranquilizer guns, semi-automatic rifles, and smaller handgun versions of the dart guns, all equipped with infrared scopes. Two carried small rocket launchers guns that fired heavy nylon netting.

Michaelangelo ran pell-mell down the mountainside ahead of them. The rain smacked his carapace and soaked his mask. His feet felt cold and numb from running over the broken granite and low scrubby plant growth.

At the bottom of the canyon ran a small stream, fed by a freshwater spring in the eastern wall. The western side was walled off and the water went back underground between the sharp rocks of an outcropping. Michaelangelo splashed across the icy brook and paused, glancing about for shelter. A few trees grew along the sandy bar where the stream widened before disappearing. The turtle turned and ran upstream toward the source. He climbed the wall partway before finding a nook in the rock to hide in. The world was lightening to a dismal gray, but hidden between the granite boulders he felt well shrouded in inky blackness. His breath was hard and he consciously slowed it to better hear what was going on around him. Over the hiss of rain he could make out the sounds of many feet, sliding heavily down the rocky slope he had just come down.

The sharp sting of the dart in the side of his neck took him completely by surprise. He lurched back and reached for it, swatting as if it were a mosquito at first and then grabbing and pulling it out, the barbs tearing at his skin.

Feeling immediately light-headed, he instinctively tucked up deeper into his hiding place, though his thinking mind told him he would have to break cover and find another. The second dart caught him high on the back of his leg and he kicked convulsively before reaching for it. The tranquilizer moved through his body quickly. His hand felt like uncooperative Jell-O, and for too many precious seconds he couldn't feel the dart stem in his hand in order to pull it out.

Several small objects hit the ground all around him as he wrestled with the thing stuck in his leg. He looked up, feeling heavy and woozy and saw the nylon netting falling around him, though he couldn't feel where it touched his skin. He stood, leaning into the hillside, slipped, and tried to catch himself. He found his hands snarled in the netting. He stumbled to one side, only to find his legs entangled as well. Unable to catch himself with his arms trapped, he tripped and fell, tumbling back down the hillside.

He landed in a tangled heap, wrapped in nylon netting. His senseless fingers still struggled remove the dart from his thigh, though it didn't seem so terribly important now and he couldn't remember why he should be taking something out of his leg in the first place. Through the gloom and falling rain, he could make out the shapes of men approaching him from 300 yards off, guns aimed at him. Despite the circumstances he felt he should really stand up and say hello. He felt friendly and warm in a detached sort of way. Michaelangelo was also vaguely aware of a low rumbling somewhere, and a vibration felt through his plastron.

Then he could hear men shouting. Those who approached him paused and turned to look back.

_"Rockslide!"_ someone was shouting.

Someone had a hold of the net, pulling it taut. Mike tried to turn his head to see who, when the slice of a katana blade tore through the netting. He felt his brother's arms around him, hefting him up across his carapace, and then the world spun dizzily.

Partway up the steep hillside Mike slid off Leo's back and then Raphael was there. The two dragged him between them as he tried to walk, each one supporting an arm over his shoulders, to the top of the ridge.

"It's working," said Donatello as the three others joined him. "Whoa – what happened to Mike?"

"He got a little too carried away with his decoy routine," grunted Raphael.

"Quack…quack…" mumbled Mike.

Leonardo let Raphael and Donatello attend to Mike as he moved to the other side of the ridge knoll. Below him mud and rock and debris still rolled like a great lumpy river, filling the once open end of the box canyon. The men who had followed Mike into the canyon were being sealed off on the one side. They looked small and insect-like in the shadows below. Falling rock and boulders had hit many of them; some were crawling or limping to safety, several were not moving at all. Leonardo watched until the last little stone came to a rest and then counted four men still on their feet.

"Ok," he said. "That'll keep them busy for a while. Let's roll."

"Yeah, well, we may be literally rolling Mike for a while," said Don.

"Twen'y minutes…" said Mike drunkenly. "I seen it on Discov…Discovr'y Channel. Wears off in twen'y minutes…"

"Well, we'll fireman carry you 'til then," said Leo. "Let's go."

Once the rain cleared up the sun offered some welcome warmth. It peeked out briefly before hiding again behind the clouds. The turtles traveled as fast as they could once Mike had recovered, but Donatello was still not able to move as quickly as the rest. Leonardo repeatedly reassured him that it was fine, the enemy was far behind them, but Don was thoroughly frustrated with himself.

"Damn," Donatello grumbled as he paused to lean against a young oak tree. He rubbed the arch of his foot. Mike stopped and turned back.

"You ok?"

"Yeah. My foot's just cramping up now. Probably from the way I'm walking."

"You want to lean on me?"

"No. No, I just hate slowing everyone down." Up ahead they could see Leo and Raph stopping and turning to wait for them. Don waved to them to go on, but neither kept on going.

"Man," said Raphael. He paced in a small circle as Leonardo stood patiently. "I don't know how you do it, Leo."

"Do what?"

Raphael started to answer and then seemed to think of something else. "Put up with us," he grinned.

Leonardo smiled a little. "I couldn't do anything without you. Without all of you."

Raphael snorted and tugged on the straps of his backpack. "Heh. Yeah." He looked down, scratched his chin and looked back up at Leo. "Do you think this'll work?"

"What?"

"You know. Going to get her. Bringing her back. Do you think it'll work?"

Leonardo up at the canopy of evergreen branches overhead. "I don't know, but I know I'm willing to die trying."

Raphael nodded slowly. "You always said it couldn't work. After what happened...to Sunni..." Raphael cleared his throat. "I thought you were right. About what we are, what I am. I don't think it can work for me. Not like I want it."

Leonardo watched Raphael's face in the shifting light of clouds and sunlight.

"But if anyone can make it work, Leo, it's you."

Donatello and Michaelangelo ambled up, joining them. "So, we waitin' for a bus now, or what?" asked Mike.

"Nope," said Raphael. "We're makin' tracks."

By the time they reached the last high ridge before their final descent, it was mid-afternoon, and they could see a thin line of smoke drifting from far ahead, up into the blue and white sky. Wordlessly they looked at one another and then back at the wisp of smoke. They set off at a still faster pace, Donatello skipping and hopping to keep up.

Less than another hour later they emerged from the dense woods surrounding the clearing in which sat Belladonna's cabin. Or more correctly, where it had once sat. All that remained was the lower part of the walls, made of fitted river rock, and that was blackened with soot and ash. The chimney stood high and naked-looking above the smoldering, blackened ruins. The rain had saved the trees and surrounding outbuildings, but the cabin itself was gone.

The turtles approached, weapons drawn, eyes scanning the area, until they stopped just before the gutted cabin. Mike shook his head and looked at his brothers, unsure. "Is this the right place?" he asked.

"It's the right place..." said Leo, his voice low.

"What happened?" said Don.

Leonardo shook his head, staring at the remains. "Let's look around."

They spread out, exploring the cabin, gardens, and small buildings. The entire place seemed deserted. Not a living thing seemed present, save the trees and flowers and garden.

They did find heavy boot prints in the mud.

"These are fresh," said Donatello. He glanced around. "There doesn't appear to be any animals around, either." He looked at his brothers and frowned. The silence was eerie. A soft wind moaned through the trees, and the sun hid behind a cloud again.

"Whose do you think these prints are?" asked Mike.

Raphael shook his head.

"They got here before us, after all."

"That might not mean anything. Everyone could have left before those creeps got here," said Mike.

Raphael rubbed his eyes, and pulled his hands down over his face. "Yeah. Could have."

"Keep looking," said Leo. "There's got to be some clue as to where they went." He moved slowly, katana drawn. His eyes scanned the ground, then the trees, the fences, searching. Michaelangelo watched him go and then turned back toward the cabin and cautiously slipped through the door frame of what was once the kitchen door.

On the west side Leonardo followed a little slope downhill toward a mass of blackberry bushes. The earth there looked disturbed. As he drew closer he could see three separate mounds. Above each was a large plank of wood, stuck in the ground. Leonardo stopped and felt a shudder run up his back. He took a deep breath and moved closer, feeling cold prickles on the back of his neck.

He stopped when he saw clearly the mounds were freshly dug graves, marked with the wooden planks. He didn't come closer, feeling his breath suddenly catch in his chest. He narrowed his eyes to read the inscriptions burned into the wood.

The largest marker read, _Beloved Daughter,_ _Lia Ana Hanrahan_, _Returned to the Mother, _and the year_. _The two smaller ones were _Rose Dawn Hanrahan_, and _Gabriel Leonine Hanrahan. _ Behind him, his Donatello and Raphael froze in their tracks.

Leonardo dropped unsteadily to his knees before the graves. "No….this…this can't be…" he said softly, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Leo…" said Raphael.

Leonardo shook his head again. Behind them Michaelangelo emerged from inside the smoking remains of the cabin.

"There's nothing- " said Mike, and then took in the scene below him, Don and Raph standing ten feet behind Leo on his knees before three graves.. "Nothing left...here..." he finished, his voice hushed.

Staring at the grave markers before him, Leonardo dug his fingers into the earth.

"Come on, Leo," said Raphael again, his voice shaking. "Like Mike said, there's nothing here."

"No…" Leonardo whispered. He tilted his head, as though trying still to comprehend. "Who…who is that?" he asked looking at the last small grave.

"I don't know, Leo," said Donatello. "Another relative?...a child...?"

"We're too late…." Leonardo said so softly he could scarcely be heard. "How could this - how could this happen?"

The three gathered closely around Leonardo, gazing with helpless confusion at the small graves. Leonardo's breath shook in his chest.

"Leo," said Raphael at last. "We can't stay here. Those guys will be here any time now. Come on, Leo."

He didn't move. After another moment he let Raphael and Michaelangelo pull him to his feet.

Shaking, Leonardo lowered his head and brought a hand to his eyes as his brothers held him. He stood very still, looking for a moment as though he might break. They stood together for several long minutes as the sun slid in and out of the clouds and the breeze fluttered the tails of their masks.

Leonardo trembled, and then blinking like one coming out of a dream, looked up.

"Right," he said softly. "We can't… we can't stay here." He cleared his throat. "Let's go."

A thin ray of sunlight broke through the overcast skies. Raindrops glittered like tiny lights hung on the trees. The turtles fell in behind Leonardo as he led them away from the smoking ruins to begin their long journey home.


	31. Chapter 31

_**The Journey Home**_

**Denouement**

* * *

The river rolled on before them like a wide, colorless highway stretching to the other shore, and endlessly on to the north and south, barring their way.

Leonardo sat crossed-legged on the sand just beyond the brush, more exposed than he generally liked to be, his chin cupped in his hands. The sun had cleared the horizon across the river to the east, red and fuzzy, hanging low in the sky, obscured behind the haze of smoke. He stared as the water flowed on and on, lapping on the shore, leaving a wavy, greasy line on the dark sand. The river was ever moving, like a great endless eel, shining and oily. He could smell the lush greenness and thick humidity of the woods behind him, mixed with the depressing stench of industry, drifting in off the river.

"Hey…" Donatello sat down quietly next to him.

"Hey, Don."

"How you doing?"

"M'ok." Leo kept his eyes fixed on the water, as though some better answer might lie out there.

"You know, " said Don. "I hate to even bring this up, but I'd be doing you a dishonor if I didn't. So, I mean, I'm really sorry, Leo, but it wouldn't be honest of me to not say this."

"What's that?"

"Leo, we don't know…we don't really know who was buried in those graves."

Leonardo nodded slowly, his eyes still far away. "I've thought of that."

"She's smart enough to have done something like that to throw any pursuers off, isn't she?"

Leonardo nodded.

"We should have checked," said Don. "As horrific as that might have been. I think we left too soon, without thinking. We were all in shock. I didn't think of it until the next morning."

"It wouldn't matter."

"What do you mean it _wouldn't matter_?" Don turned to look at him.

"I mean, of course it would _matter_. More than anything, I want to know she's alive. But I…." Leonardo turned to Don. "I don't know, Don. I'm sure I would feel it somehow, if she were really gone. And I don't feel…that."

Don spread his hands. "So, what do you want to do?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing? Leo- "

"If she is alive somewhere today, I can't go and try to find her," he said quietly. "Even if she survived whatever happened at the cabin, I would only bring it all back to her door. I'm her death sentence."

"Oh, man…" Donatello breathed.

"I don't have a choice. I have to let it go."

"You're letting it go? Letting _her_ go? Just like that?"

"Don, what's the point of saving her from her enemies, only to have her die at the hands of ours?" Leonardo closed his eyes. "I have to let her go."

He gazed back out over the river, turning green now in the yellow haze of the climbing sun. Don moved his toes in the black sand and then cleared his throat.

"Leo, that third grave…"

"No." Leonardo cut him off. "Whoever that was, they are all better off without us."

Donatello looked back down at his feet half-buried in the sand, and sighed, feeling a helpless sadness. It was crazy, completely crazy, to simply accept not knowing. Don knew if it was he, he could never resign himself to that. Raph won't accept this, he thought. Not ever. It probably hasn't even occurred to him yet.

Don chewed his lip and glanced over at his brother's face. He wondered if Leo had heard Raphael raging to the gods the night before. He almost wished so, though he didn't want to stir up any more pain for Leo than he just had. But Donatello had heard Raphael, roaring his outrage into the night, telling the stars how unfair it was, telling them that even if he, Raphael, might deserve this, Leonardo did not.

Yet if non-action was what Leo wanted, he knew they all would have to abide by that. This was Leo's call. With resignation Don realized it would be a long time before Leonardo would be ready to really talk about any of this. Even with the sort of resolution he seemed to have come to, Don knew, Leo would always see this as a personal failure. And he would bear his shame in silence, as he always did.

* * *

The water lapped gently against the sides of the little vessel, and the waves rocked it with a soft lullaby. Stars glittered above, while the mist lying on the water hid the travelers from sight. They nestled together, swaying with the rhythm of the waters.

The young mother held her two children wrapped warmly in soft blankets. A deep fog shrouded them, suspending time, letting them float unseen, untouched. They rocked over the blue gray waters, through the mists, sailing to the safe shore on the other side.

The End

* * *

**_After the Gold Rush_**

Neil Young

Well, I dreamed I saw the knights  
In armor coming,  
Saying something about a queen.  
There were peasants singing and  
Drummers drumming  
And the archer split the tree.  
There was a fanfare blowing  
To the sun  
That was floating on the breeze.  
Look at Mother Nature on the run  
In the nineteen seventies.  
Look at Mother Nature on the run  
In the nineteen seventies.

I was lying in a burned out basement  
With the full moon in my eyes.  
I was hoping for replacement  
When the sun burst thru the sky.  
There was a band playing in my head  
And I felt like getting high.  
I was thinking about what a  
Friend had said  
I was hoping it was a lie.  
Thinking about what a  
Friend had said  
I was hoping it was a lie.

Well, I dreamed I saw the silver  
Space ships flying  
In the yellow haze of the sun,  
There were children crying  
And colors flying  
All around the chosen ones.  
All in a dream, all in a dream  
The loading had begun.  
They were flying Mother Nature's  
Silver seed to a new home in the sun.  
Flying Mother Nature's  
Silver seed to a new home in the sun.


End file.
